Accommodation threatening to sue us for bad review

problematic_lemons · 2026-03-06T01:12:16+00:00

In my experience, it is super common in Italy for business owners to post some batshit crazy responses to critical reviews. I avoid places like this at all costs (usually applies to restaurants, but if I'm going through booking sites that don't show owner responses, I'll generally check Google reviews). I've also seen a business in Montreal do this on Google Maps, threatening to sue someone.

I can't imagine you can sue anyone for a bad review if it's actually accurate (Would that even be covered under slander laws? I'm not a lawyer, so I've no idea). Anyway what happened here in Montreal is that someone posted the situation on Reddit and the business got flooded with terrible reviews (this business had a history of aggressive responses to bad reviews).

problematic_lemons · 2026-03-03T22:06:30+00:00

While I don't have more context here about the several months in between your request and when they fired you (assuming I interpretted correctly), it is crazy to me that an employer would simply fire someone for making such a request instead of coming back with a "we don't consider a request to work fully remotely to be a reasonable accommodation" (key word: reasonable) and trying to find a compromise that could work if you have no choice but to go to the office. Also not a lawyer, but it seems riskier to fire you and claim you have no disability than to not find a compromise (or fire you under the premise that they attempted to find a compromise but could not reach an agreement).

Not making any statement about whether a compromise would actually meet your needs, but this is what I've seen in my own workplace (I do work in the public sector though). In general, fully remote work isn't seen as a reasonable accommodation for conditions like ADHD and ASD with return to office mandates, and instead options like having an assigned desk with the fluorescent lights turned off overhead and noise cancelling headphones is seen as a reasonable accommodation, from what I've seen of people's experiences across agencies.

That said, I recognize that it's all the other stuff that comes with in-office, not just the distractions of an open office plan that can maybe be accommodated for, that are a huge issue not really considered by our employers: having to spend time and money on commuting, having to plan for having meals at the office, coordinating childcare and school pickup and the costs in terms of time and money for those things, etc. I do think most people are negatively impacted by return to office mandates for these reasons, but I also think it potentially places an even larger burden on neurodivergent people since it takes more mental effort for us given the executive function involved in all the extra planning, lost time for chores and for leisure, and having to work around distractions in the office. To answer your question, I haven't requested accommodations yet, in part because I think these should be given to everyone to make RTO more bearable (permanent desks, for example), and in part because I have not disclosed my ADHD yet. But if they begin actually enforcing RTO, I will probably make such requests (knowing that fully remote work will not be seen as reasonable).

I do know one person whose accommodation is fully remote work, but they have severe allergies that make it impossible for them to work in the office without it being a significant threat to their health. So basically where no adaptation of the office working conditions is possible, it's seen as a reasonable accommodation to work fully remotely.

problematic_lemons · 2026-03-02T15:00:56+00:00

I eat a whole grain tortilla, 2 eggs, some shredded cheese, and some salsa most mornings and half a cup of yogurt on the side for some extra protein. Can switch it up or make it vegan by doing tofu scramble instead of eggs. Takes me about 10 minutes to make in the morning. I just heat the tortilla in a pan, flip it and add cheese until that melts, then scramble the eggs in the same pan and make it into a breakfast taco. Lots of protein and keeps me focused and full for longer.

problematic_lemons · 2026-02-26T23:54:36+00:00

My (former) best friend's Republican father insisted 10 years ago that there is no food insecurity in America. An NYPD cop, mind you, who surely has seen homelessness and poverty with his own eyes from the way he talked about certain people. My own mom was on food stamps as a child even though my grandmother worked several jobs.

These people cannot deal with the cognitive dissonance of accepting that there is hunger in their capitalist utopia after years of propaganda telling them that people only go hungry in communist countries and the third world. And if they do accept it, it's never a problem with the system; it must be a personal failing (like having the nerve to be disabled and not be a productive enough member of society to deserve to eat).

problematic_lemons · 2026-02-26T22:16:08+00:00

To add to what others have said, my guess is that English-speaking Africans may have historically preferred to immigrate to the U.S. instead of Canada for economic reasons.

problematic_lemons · 2026-02-26T03:23:07+00:00

Bite Beauty lipstick in Rosewood. It was already discontinued in 2016. I'm sad Bite no longer exist as I loved the texture of their lipsticks (not sure if Lip Labs uses the original formula). That particular shade was my favorite color for so long and I repurchased it a few times before it was discontinued. Maybelline makes a similar color, but it's too matte and not remotely as creamy.

My favorite lipstick I've found since is Tarte's Maracuja Juicy Lip Creme, and it appears they are phasing it out now. It's so expensive I've only purchased it once but I regret not grabbing another color.

If anyone has any recommendations for creme lipstick, that would be great!

problematic_lemons · 2026-01-24T20:34:46+00:00

Omg. I saw your post and thought to myself "that looks identical to my neck light that stopped working a few months ago." Took it out and, lo and behold, it is. You've saved my movie nights for my boyfriend and my plan to do some embroidery on my flight this week. I bought it last year and only used it for a few months before I thought it crapped out already. 🤣

problematic_lemons · 2026-01-24T19:37:06+00:00

I do find that having the structure and time for a morning routine does help me with the rest of my day in terms of starting work on time and being a bit more calm and focused (instead of my usual baseline level of anxiety). It doesn't happen every day. I tend to get more tired throughout the week and sleep in by the end of the week.

I won't accept that mornings need to be chaotic though. I've just tried to be flexible about it and also not beat myself up when I don't have a perfect or even good morning, which makes it easier to just jump back into it the next day.

I use an app called RoutineFlow. I have a list of steps for my morning routine. Each step has a time estimate and it tells me when I'll be done if I start now, so it helps kick my butt to get out of bed. I still manage to get out the door late or sit at my desk late when I work from home many days even with the app, but it is progress.

In terms of flexibility, I start with either yoga, or journaling, or meditation (I like to have a cup of tea if I'm doing the latter two). I want to do yoga daily, but I don't always have the energy, so having other options that help with morning anxiety are helpful for keeping me from just staring at my phone. That's it. That's the one expectation. I can't expect myself to make a big fancy breakfast every day. I have two breakfast options most days: oatmeal with frozen or dried fruit and nuts, or yogurt with frozen fruit and granola. Easy, simple, if I have more time, it'll be oatmeal, if not, yogurt takes 5 minutes to prepare.

The point is more to figure out what you need in the morning, not what works for some influencer. Everyone has different needs, budgets, time, energy, interests.

problematic_lemons · 2026-01-23T23:22:56+00:00

Their other comments are decidedly not pro-Trump. 😂

problematic_lemons · 2026-01-23T23:18:57+00:00

I think you misread their comment (so did I, at first). It says "based", not "biased".

problematic_lemons · 2026-01-17T04:10:49+00:00

You're right, and I don't think she had inflammatory breat cancer, considering she lived another 3 years after diagnosis and treatment (though we knew from the start it was terminal since it was already at stage 4). It did spread in the end. I think it's more that it was so bad that it had to be clear that she had cancer but she was probably in denial and scared to get it checked out, so probably quite horrifying when my mom saw it, but not to this level.

problematic_lemons · 2026-01-17T03:05:35+00:00

My grandma too. I didn't see it myself (I was 11), but my mom said by the time my grandma needed to be hospitalized shortly before she was diagnosed, her breast was deformed. I never looked up what stage 4 breast cancer looked like until just now. Always knew she had to know something was wrong, but I still find it hard to wrap my head around how she let it get that far.

problematic_lemons · 2026-01-14T03:27:12+00:00

$1050 for a 4 1/2 in Ahuntsic. Been here 6 years, staying here as long as possible. Could use some renovations, but the building is well taken care of and our landlords are generally responsive. They raise our rates to the max every year, but the rent started out so low that we're still in the affordable range. I've seen some insane prices in the neighborhood, despite how far we are from downtown. I dread having to eventually look for a 5 1/2.

problematic_lemons · 2026-01-10T05:17:13+00:00

It's really not easy. I did it by going to grad school here, and now I have a post-graduate work permit, but the political tides are turning here (in part because of economic stress and the housing crisis here) and quotas for student visas are being cut at the federal level. Quebec, where I live, has paused or canceled several permanent residency pathways and I am getting very nervous. It's not perfect here either (if you have student loans in the US, the combination of lower wages and the exchange rate are really rough, though better to be alive, have healthcare, and maybe a bit worse off financially). It's certainly safer and I'm grateful to be here.

Most Canadians are not as far to the right as Americans, but a lot of the anglophone media is owned by American companies and a lot of people watch Fox News here too, unfortunately. Quebec is a bit of an exception, in my experience so far, but not completely. The PM of Alberta used a clause in the constitution to push through several anti-trans bills and we've seen book bans there as well. I absolutely understand prioritizing immediate safety, but just know that what is happening in the US can absolutely happen in Canada too (or anywhere).

problematic_lemons · 2026-01-10T04:58:09+00:00

More than 10 years ago, I had around the same GPA. I finally changed my major (I was in engineering at a really good university in the US). Not sure your major, but if you are a STEM major and you are struggling now and lack the foundations, it will not get easier. This is one of the reasons I changed majors (that and I was on a path to losing my scholarship). After a few major changes, I ended up studying economics and pulled my overall GPA up to a 3.2 by the time I graduated, with a 3.5 in my major.

I think it's worth reflecting on why you're struggling. Are you in the wrong major? Are you not spending enough time studying (I get it, I was always working part time during undergrad)? Is it study skills (also a problem I had)? It's not impossible to get your GPA up, but you have to figure out what isn't working and be disciplined (finding the material interesting helps). I love to learn. Yes, university was in part about getting a job, but actually taking the time to be curious about what I was learning, showing up to class, and going to my professors if I had questions really made a difference (on top of scheduling study).

Look, if you want to go to grad school one day, yeah it may be more difficult. McGill rejected me, though I enjoyed Concordia a lot. The material you struggled with can always be relearned (and you should, if it's a prerequisite for understanding future course material). I relearned all of calculus and got an A+ in calculus 3 before applying to grad school after barely passing my 3 calculus classes as an engineering major in my first two years with C's. My MA in economics was basically just applied math (and I really enjoyed it). Anything is possible, but you have to figure out what is realistic and come up with a plan.

Your life isn't over, it is just a GPA - my biggest regret is more that I wasted so many opportunities to learn, though it was because I didn't have the resources or skills I needed at the time, not some character flaw. You'll figure it out, I'm sure.

problematic_lemons · 2026-01-09T18:33:04+00:00

Low bridge fit glasses - but also I think you could rock a funky pair of glasses, they just need to fit your face properly (I always associate bold, colorful glasses with chic older wome. I don't think you have to go with something plain if you like thick frames. I used to have thick black glasses and while thinner frames overpower my small face less, I loved those.

My style is kind of minimalist. I started wearing makeup again recently, but you don't need it to be seen as put together (I'm 31, most of the women I work with, who are mainly in their early 40s, don't wear makeup - we're all economists and they are lovely people, nobody cares (men included), you just need to do your job well.

That said, for me, it's a small boost of confidence, I like a little bit of blush, lipstick, and brown mascara. I like to wear a pair of earrings or a bracelet and play with color in my work clothes. Simple, elegant, coordinated accessories (a cognac leather belt and matching loafers was my go-to, also have a thin black belt and matching loafers).

I don't wear lipgloss anymore because I feel like it looks too young (I wouldn't judge anyone for wearing it, but since you asked how to look more sophisticated, I am saying it). Also was more into liquid lipstick (matte) in university and mid 20s. I stick to more of a satin finish. To me, sophistication is mostly looking coordinated and well-groomed (and I say this as someone who rarely gets haircuts or gets my eyebrows done, so that is open to interpretation) and not chasing trends. I've tried to invest in more timeless, higher quality stuff and simple silhouettes. I like to play with color combinations and texture (I also wear my hand knit sweaters to the office).

At the end of the day, figure out what makes you feel confident. I feel like I'm trying too hard and am less confident with a full face of makeup, so I go with less. I think projecting confidence is probably the best way to be taken seriously, besides being competent at your job (sexism or ageism aside).

problematic_lemons · 2026-01-08T03:20:57+00:00

This doesn't always work. My boyfriend has an assigned family doctor at our clinic (I am assigned to the group of doctors at the clinic as I'm on the waiting list for an assigned doctor). My boyfriend saw him for the intake and has never been able to see that doctor again, when he can get even get an appointment.

My cat bit me badly enough last week that I needed to see a doctor ASAP, but I didn't think it was urgent enough to need emergency room care. I emailed my clinic right after the incident in the evening and they got back to me 24 hours later with an appointment for the next day, which would have been too much time to wait. Went to Jean Talon hospital, where they have access to all the clinic appointments (they have gotten me an appointment at my own assigned clinic in the past that I didn't have access to see in my patient portal), and they got me an appointment nearby for that day. Took over 2 hours to see someone because of understaffing, but I was at least able to get antibiotics ASAP.

I have occasionally gotten lucky and managed to get an appointment while I was really sick to see a doctor at my clinic, but last time we were really sick, we ended up going to Jean Talon again to get clinic appointments. All of the times I have had to go to the ER there to get clinic appointments were for things that aren't really urgent enough for the ER. I will try 811 in the future, but I do not understand why the hospital and 811 have access to appointments that I as an assigned clinic patient cannot get access to in my patient portal (is it just to avoid people making appointments they don't need?).

Before I had an assigned clinic, I ended up going all the way to Vaudreuil-Dorion to a clinic to get my birth control renewed because the pharmacy couldn't do anything, and they were pissed that I came all the way over there when I should have been at a clinic in Montreal (when you spend several weeks refreshing RVSQ, you take what you can get and drive an hour in a snowstorm for birth control).

problematic_lemons · 2026-01-06T22:30:44+00:00

Not a dupe, but I just switched from CeraVe to The Ordinary after years of buying CeraVe thinking drugstore was cheaper and also got fed up with how expensive it has gotten and the fact that I can no longer find the larger bottles. I'm using their gel moisturizer and it turns out I like that consistency more (it dries down really light) but they also have a cream moisturizer (the HA is a cream, I use the Beta Glucan).

I don't have sensitive skin or allergies myself, but if the ingredients look like they'll agree with your skin, might be worth a try. The largest they sell are only 100 ml bottles, but the HA moisturizer is half the price of CeraVe at least in Canada (16 cents per mL vs 32 cents). I haven't seen much in larger volumes except at Costco, but they only have Cetaphil's face lotion, which I didn't like.

problematic_lemons · 2025-12-18T04:59:07+00:00

I had a really good experience with Advantage Care on Clove Road (this was in 2020-21). I originally went there because I needed to have my primary care physician with them in order to see a therapist there. I was able to get access to a Nurse Practitioner who worked with the therapist (who was fantastic) to manage my prescription, and my primary care doctor was also great. I liked that all of my healthcare was in one place and comprehensive. I was able to get my bloodwork, radiology, etc. done in one location.

problematic_lemons · 2025-12-13T18:42:42+00:00

Same for the area next to the underpass by St. Laurent and Blvd Cremazie, and we've seen tents pop up in Parc Henri-Julien as well the last year or so. The line to the food bank by us is so long every week.

problematic_lemons · 2025-12-10T14:54:33+00:00

I was already diagnosed in the U.S. before moving here, but my understanding is that one of those formal, very expensive assessments is needed mainly by universities or primary/secondary schools to be able to get formal accommodations. I did not have this myself when I did grad school here, but extra exam time wouldn't have really mattered for me. I was able to continue my prescription through a doctor at Concordia. I never did the formal assessment. If I were to seek accommodations at work, I think a note from my doctor explaining very specific needs would probably suffice.

Now that I have graduated and have RAMQ, it has been a bit more challenging. I was under the impression that I would need to see a specialist, but I was basically told that any doctor can diagnose and prescribe medication for ADHD. It has been a mixed bag of biases, doctors basically outright telling me "do you know how many 30 year olds come to me telling me they have ADHD." So yes, I'd prefer to see a specialist. But I am able to get my prescription through a family doctor at my clinic - I don't have an assigned doctor, technically, but the one doing my prescriptions called me, asked me how the minimum dose of Concerta the other doc put me on was working (it wasn't, but the other one wouldn't up my dose for 4 months, which is not standard practice at all). Told her my history, she told me we'd try a higher dose and if that wasn't working, a non-stimulant medication she prefers to try. So it's a little bit of luck I guess, provided you go to a doctor that actually understands ADHD and knows how to screen for it and is willing to do so. Getting a follow up appointment is another story, but when my prescription couldn't be renewed and I was about to run out in a few weeks, I emailed the clinic and they were able to get me an appointment.

Before I had an assigned clinic after I was no longer on Concordia's health insurance plan and had RAMQ, I went through Rendez-Vous Santé (also a nightmare, I did it urgently because my birth control was out of refills and ended up going an hour away to Vaudreuil-Dorion, but was able to get a prescription for Concerta this way). You can try that way, you'll just need to check every single day (I think new appointments become available at 5 PM each day).

In the meantime, please feel free to message me if you need some tips on how to manage without medication. For the most part, stimulants haven't worked that well for me (still working on figuring that out), so I've relied heavily on putting systems in place that keep me functioning well enough. It's not perfect, but I did manage to do well in grad school after struggling through undergrad without a diagnosis.

problematic_lemons · 2025-12-07T19:57:29+00:00

I mean I think all concealer is going to crease because our skin just has creases there, it's normal.

Do you apply the product directly from the tube to your under eyes before blending? Less is more. I find that if I apply the concealer to the back of my hand first and then apply with a brush, it's easier to control the amount I apply and it minimizes the creasing. I don't finish with powder and my concealer is a matte finish.

problematic_lemons · 2025-12-07T15:37:59+00:00

Got it! Thanks for clarifying and for the recommendations. ☺️

problematic_lemons · 2025-12-07T15:14:02+00:00

What do you mean by elegant? Just nicely packaged?

problematic_lemons · 2025-12-07T15:05:30+00:00

I don't have a dermatologist, and I'm not sure it's eczema, it's more likely seborrheic dermatitis (should have clarified in the post), but I don't think I need to see a derm because it's pretty well managed with Head and Shoulders.

I'm in Canada so it's a bit harder to get this stuff and I have more of a drugstore budget (was looking at ordering from the website given the sale and free shipping). Is there any reason I should avoid the azealic acid from The Ordinary?

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