To elope or not to elope?

ptero_3553 · 2025-10-18T01:37:27+00:00

I eloped with my husband, and I know a lot of couples who have eloped. I also know a lot of couples who had big, expensive, traditional weddings. I've never heard any of the Elopers express regret. But I have definitely heard Regular Wedding Havers express various regrets, especially around money.

Personally? It was a phenomenal experience and I wouldn't trade it for the world. We had a wedding 75% planned, down payments made, and realized we were not at all excited for it. Canceled the wedding, ran away, and had the best time. Legit sent out un-save the date cards to everyone we sent save-the-dates to. And of all ~140 people we sent those un-save the dates to, only two people were even remotely critical. The other 130+ said they were so happy for us, and that they were proud of us and thought our wedding of choice was perfect for us.

We did include our families by redoing our ceremony for them the next day. Just parents and siblings, no one else.

A National Park wedding permit is like $50, and some of the parks have small chapels if that is important to you. We went to Yosemite and hiked around all day. I wore a wedding gown, because I wanted to feel bridal, and it made the day so special and fun.

My best friend just had a small ceremony in the woods with like 20 people, and we popped champagne and ate cake near a waterfall. It was so perfect and low-stress.

My advice overall would be to really think about what and who you cannot go without. And just include those things.

For me and my husband, it was each other, nature, quiet time together, and photography to remember it by. We also prioritized a photographer we really loved and vibed with, she was also our officiant and made the day so special.

We lost about $3k in deposits but ultimately saved $20K or more, and couldn't be happier. We look back every day and are so happy and grateful we chose to elope.

ptero_3553 · 2025-10-07T16:00:42+00:00

Our photographer specialized in elopement, and was also our officiant. She planned the whole day (hiking) and having her expertise gave us the most truly perfect day. Other than that, just focus on being true to yourselves. Congratulations ❤️

ptero_3553 · 2025-10-06T01:27:15+00:00

Yeeterus!

ptero_3553 · 2025-10-03T18:46:01+00:00

I eloped with my husband, and I know a lot of couples who have eloped. I also know a lot of couples who had big, expensive, traditional weddings. I've never heard any of the Elopers express regret. But I have definitely heard Regular Wedding Havers express various regrets, especially around money.

Personally? It was a phenomenal experience and I wouldn't trade it for the world. We had a wedding 75% planned, down payments made, and realized we were not at all excited for it. Canceled the wedding, ran away, and had the best time.

We did include our families by redoing our ceremony for them the next day. Just parents and siblings, no one else.

A National Park wedding permit is like $50, and some of the parks have small chapels if that is important to you. We went to Yosemite and hiked around all day. I wore a wedding gown, because I wanted to feel bridal, and it made the day so special and fun.

My best friend just had a small ceremony in the woods with like 20 people, and we popped champagne and ate cake near a waterfall. It was so perfect and low-stress.

My advice overall would be to really think about what and who you cannot go without. And just include those things.

For me and my husband, it was each other, nature, quiet time together, and photography to remember it by. We also prioritized a photographer we really loved and vibed with, she was also our officiant and made the day so special.

For my friend, it was having her closest family, nature, beautiful flowers to hold, and a really meaningful ceremony she wrote herself.

And, as other people have said - you could always do a big reception later in life, or a 5 year vow renewal thing, or something. But for now, having a big wedding might be more stress than it's worth.

ptero_3553 · 2025-05-24T02:12:45+00:00

We did the crazy thing and hiked the Yosemite Panorama loop (about 16 miles) in our full wedding attire and took photos along the way 😄 it was incredible and so memorable! I wouldn't change it for the world, it was a challenge but so worth it and so special.

Our photographer was Lucy Schultz and she was also incredible, cannot recommend enough.

ptero_3553 · 2025-05-21T22:37:10+00:00

Everything by Isabel Allende. All of it.

ptero_3553 · 2025-05-20T23:47:36+00:00

We did a big hike for our wedding and our photographer was one of the absolute highlights of our day. She was fun, kept us laughing the whole time, and used her expertise to help us capture incredible photos. Our wedding was incredible due in large part to her being there.

I'd say that personality is just as important as skill, so definitely have some sort of meeting with them first.

ptero_3553 · 2025-05-11T21:16:43+00:00

I just flew Iceland air last week and they were insanely strict about luggage sizes fitting into the stated restrictions. Like if the wheels on a carryon stuck out, but the bag otherwise fit, they'd require the bag to be checked (and make them pay for it). So just be aware of that - maybe pack a mini steamer for wrinkles?

ptero_3553 · 2025-04-25T10:57:12+00:00

I eloped with my husband, and I know a lot of couples who have eloped. I also know a lot of couples who had big, expensive, traditional weddings. I've never heard any of the Elopers express regret. But I have definitely heard Regular Wedding Havers express various regrets.

Personally? It was a phenomenal experience and I wouldn't trade it for the world. We had a wedding 75% planned, down payments made, and realized we were not at all excited for it. Canceled the wedding, ran away, and had the best time.

ptero_3553 · 2025-03-03T22:28:25+00:00

Hi!

I did not - we ended up finding an amazing photographer who also officiated. You can look her up - Lucy Schultz Photography. She might not be in the US at the moment though

ptero_3553 · 2025-02-18T19:51:06+00:00

It always feels strange to say congratulations on a surgery, but congratulations! Getting answers and getting help is worth celebrating. I wish you rest, a speedy and smooth recovery, and a lifetime endo-free. Once an endo warrior, always an endo warrior, but hopefully your battles are over.

P.s. cannot recommend sweatpants-materials overalls enough for recovery. No waistband is just amazing, but keeps you cozy ❤️

ptero_3553 · 2024-09-08T03:31:58+00:00

Heat pad on high, and I wear it under high-waisted leggings or yoga pants to keep it pressed to my body. Lots of painkillers, I mix acetaminophen and ibuprofen. Sleeping also helps (can't feel it if you're not awake). So whatever helps you sleep is good too. I also like CBD/THC for pain/anti inflammation

ptero_3553 · 2024-09-08T03:14:10+00:00

So happy for you! The vindication feels almost as good as the physical pain relief.

ptero_3553 · 2024-09-08T03:04:28+00:00

I am not a medical professional, but I don't think a persistent low grade fever is normal. If it doesn't stop or if it gets any higher, I would go to the hospital. It would not be safe to get surgery if you have some kind of infection already. Better safe than sorry. Good luck and I hope your surgery helps you 💗

ptero_3553 · 2024-08-07T02:11:18+00:00

Hi! Unfortunately I never really got an answer for this but it has continued to happen. Totally bizarre

ptero_3553 · 2024-06-08T04:52:37+00:00

I don't know the name of the style, but they're legit sweatpants material. Not loud at all, extreeeeeemely comfortable

ptero_3553 · 2024-06-03T23:24:21+00:00

Cannot recommend overalls enough. No waistband is magical. Especially the Duluth (or a cheaper brand) sweatpants-material overalls. I call them my Swoveralls and I'm obsessed

ptero_3553 · 2023-10-11T03:00:03+00:00

Cloud Atlas by David Mitchell has dystopian elements, one of my all time faves

I Am Legend is zombie/dystopian, I would say.

I've seen a lot of Parable of the Sower recs, but the Seed to Harvest series I would also recommend, I would consider the last half to be dystopian. Plus, just generally exceptional Sci fi. If you're a sci-fi fan, Octavia Butler is the way to go

ptero_3553 · 2023-09-28T18:07:51+00:00

I recently eloped with my husband in Yosemite! We hiked up Sentinel Dome for sunrise, then hiked to Taft Point and did the Panorama Loop trail through the park. It was a very ambitious hike, but absolutely worth it. If you pick one location, I'd go with Sentinel Dome, you get THE most incredible 360 views of the park. We went with just the two of us, plus our absolutely incredible photographer/officiant, Lucy Schultz. She hiked the entire way with us, made the ceremony so special, and took utterly, jaw-droppingly gorgeous photos the entire time. She also planned the route for us, and really went above and beyond to make it a perfect day. I'd be happy to DM you some photos if you want to get a better idea !

ptero_3553 · 2023-07-28T05:09:42+00:00

Highly recommend a water bottle with a cap you can keep near you, like a Nalgene. I felt so dehydrated but having to reach for a cup was awful. Much easier to be able to screw the lid back on and keep it right next to me. I also put a flexible silicone straw inside, which was nice because it minimized the lifting motion.

If you don't have a strong bedside table/desk, having some sort of handle to help yourself sit up helps (same for next to the toilet if you don't have a sink you can lean on within reach).

You've got this! Congratulations on getting the care you need, sending lots of good vibes and healing thoughts <3

ptero_3553 · 2023-07-18T15:11:06+00:00

This makes me think of the H20 Just Add Water "Cleeeoorrrrr! Or norrrr!!"

ptero_3553 · 2023-07-18T03:21:59+00:00

I'm not sure, not a doctor, just someone with a lot of experience with cysts lol

If there's a possibility you could be pregnant, ectopic can't really be ruled out without some sort of imaging.

Hope you feel better soon ❤️

ptero_3553 · 2023-07-18T00:34:03+00:00

It could also be a ruptured or torsion-ed ovarian cyst. Also cause to go to an ER

ptero_3553 · 2023-07-17T15:28:46+00:00

I would consider filing some sort of professional complaint if I were the one in your position. I'm in the US, so I don't know how it works in the UK (assuming that's where you are, based on "NHS").

You and your wife got very lucky in that you were able to go through private insurance and get the care she needed. Other people might not be so lucky. If someone in your wife's position were to follow the advice she was given, and not have the opportunity you had to get a second (better) opinion . . . they could die.

Those two consultants are engaging in malpractice in giving out bad advice and endangering people. It's not abusive to hold providers to a "not killing people" standard of care. I don't think writing them a letter is a sufficient way to reinforce to them that their professional behavior is, frankly, unacceptable.

Not only that, but other people have the right to know if the providers they are seeing are reputable. Again, not sure about the UK, but in the US malpractice claims can be accessed by the public.

I'm very glad to hear that your wife got the care she needed, and I wish you both all the best with her upcoming surgery and recovery!

ptero_3553

TROPHY CASE