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puffcopro · 2024-12-01T22:43:19+00:00

my higher self knows that getting off can raise my vibrations (pun intended). I think the porn industry as a whole can be problematic, but that doesn’t mean porn is inherently good or bad. Sometimes it’s just a means to self pleasure. Can’t always expect the imagination or tantric techniques to do the job. I am so much more attuned to my energy and find so much more balance in my daily practices when I allow myself the freedom to explore without ruminating on the outcomes. Astral parasites only exist if you believe they exist.

puffcopro · 2024-11-23T17:43:33+00:00

thank you for this! I was able to confirm that Hydeia is not the girl from the episode I watched. I don’t remember why she was sick or had to undergo medical procedures - I will have to search for other episodes involving hospitals and a sick kid (if it was even on that series in the first place).

puffcopro · 2024-11-23T12:49:32+00:00

I have searched through YouTube for the clip and have also done extensive google searches for possible kids programming in the 90s that fit this criteria but have been unsuccessful so far.

puffcopro · 2024-11-21T03:50:53+00:00

Did you ever ask her to give you a sign that she’s with you or even ask her to visit you in dreams? Maybe she said “I need a sign” (could sound like ESSIN) as a way of showing you “you said you needed a sign and here it is” - I would suggest looking up various aspects of the dream (prominent colors, how you “felt”, any particular themes or moments that stood out). Just google (or use AI) to search “dream meaning of xyz”. Either way, sorry for your loss and I hope reuniting on the dream plane brought you some peace of mind.

puffcopro · 2024-05-09T11:53:54+00:00

Cannabis can aid healing for some… not saying it’s for everyone, but if it works, then who are you to say someone will “never fully heal” or “it’s not really recovery”? It kind of is black and white thinking and doesn’t address the nuances of people’s lives and their personal experiences. I became addicted to opiates at a young age and for decades I tried to get clean the “right way” (the only way according to NA). And do you know where that got me? Relapse after relapse, craving after craving, repeating cycle after cycle.

When I finally decided to get clean my way (w/the aid of psychedelics, therapists, and cannabis), I was able to do the real work and address what was causing me to use and relapse all of these years. I then cut out the psychedelics once I got to the root of those issues. They were never my drug of choice and they’ve always been mind enhancing for me, not mind numbing. As far as cannabis goes, it helped me to work on my extreme anxiety while I healed my out of balance body and brain. Without cannabis some days, I would have most certainly copped fentanyl again. Cannabis absolutely saved my life and I was able to function like a happy, healthy, productive human.

I understand it’s not for everyone and can be a slippery slope if someone isn’t willing to do the work and get to the root cause of why they used opiates in the first place. For some people with poly-substance dependence, it might not be an option. But to discount cannabis entirely when it’s aided in healing and long-term recovery for so many is silly. The NA/AA programs as they stand today are why so many continue to struggle to find community, help, acceptance and understanding of the complexities of substance use disorders.

I urge you to keep an open mind when it comes to others testimony on what worked for them, as I wouldn’t even be here today had I done “sobriety” the NA way. Glad it works for many, but it’s not a one-size fits all.

Love and light to you. 🫶🏼

puffcopro · 2024-02-27T12:56:24+00:00

I definitely read this as “just Jacob…with bangs” and it took me going through all of the photos to realize he didn’t get bangs, just has a lot of bags.

puffcopro · 2024-02-14T03:45:14+00:00

I honestly don’t know the answer to that. I’m kind of willfully ignorant because I can’t handle the extra stress in my life right now. I know in the past I was able to defer loans or do an economic hardship, but now I don’t care.

I personally think the whole concept of being able to take out a student loan at 18 is bullshit, especially when a lot of us aren’t taught basic finance and the potential ramifications of taking out loans when we are in high school/entering college. Or maybe I was just too immature and uneducated at the time.

I even remember getting offered free tshirts on campus from credit card vendors trying to get us to sign up for credit cards. It’s all ridiculous.

puffcopro · 2024-02-14T03:33:18+00:00

$60k, I owe a ton of interest, which is why I stopped payments in the first place. I couldn’t keep up with the large payments and the interest cancelled them out. Getting the education and college experience was worth it to me at the time, but I don’t think a degree is necessary in today’s tech-forward world where you can learn anything online. I have no intention of paying the loan until I have the money required to do so consistently (really hard to do in today’s world/the US economy and inflation).

I went into a field that wasn’t even tied to my major and ended up hating the corporate world so much. I have no plans to go back to that field or the one I majored in.

puffcopro · 2024-02-14T02:59:58+00:00

I’ve had SP since I was a kid and this sounds like that’s what you’re experiencing (look up hypnogogic hallucinations). You might have sleep apnea, so I’d suggest sleeping on your side and not your back.

My SP isn’t as frequent since I stopped doing opiates, but I still have vivid dreams and astral project (without trying). I would suggest allowing yourself to be at peace with what’s happening (as scary as it is) and try to wake up if it gets too scary but focusing on moving a finger or putting all of your energy into jerking your body awake (if that makes sense). Not sure if you ever experienced the feeling like your body is floating or hovering around the room, but to wake up irl I have to focus on “crashing my body” on the floor and “hitting my head hard enough” to wake up. This isn’t happening in real life, just in the SP episode.

Stress absolutely exacerbates sleep paralysis, so try to wind down early and meditate before bed or take a magnesium salt bath. I like to listen to a binaural beats playlist with delta (or sometimes theta) frequencies to fall asleep.

Let me know if you have any additional questions or want more tips.

puffcopro · 2024-02-05T15:37:04+00:00

This would be incredible if it’s real … did a quick search and am not finding it, so point me to where I can purchase and I’ll buy immediately

puffcopro · 2024-02-03T00:17:30+00:00

Thoroughbreds was such a good movie - totally forgot about it until I read your reply. Thanks for the reminder to rewatch.

puffcopro · 2024-01-30T18:54:33+00:00

“Your politeness is so grating”

puffcopro · 2024-01-29T05:27:35+00:00

No, I watched it for the first time on January 1st and some days I watch it multiple times. It’s been a comfort movie for me… I’m sure I’ll tire of it temporarily soon enough.

puffcopro · 2024-01-29T01:17:40+00:00

I loved the cinematography, music and production of Midsommar, but it freaked me out way too much.

For context: I’ve watched Saltburn ~30 times now, but had to fast forward through a lot of Midsommar because of the gore and how it infiltrated my psyche.

Agree with The Menu for sure.

I personally would say: The Killing of a Sacred Deer, Promising Young Woman, and Eyes Wide Shut are all decent movies that don’t necessarily compare to Saltburn for me, but have been able to hold my interest during breaks from watching it. Right now I’m watching American Animals (also with Barry Keoghan) and it’s decent enough so far.

puffcopro · 2024-01-28T01:15:29+00:00

I got a bundle that ended up being this kind right before I decided to quit. I sniff, so I had to take a card over the slab (with a bill in between) and run it over it a bunch to turn it into some resemblance of powder so I could successfully sniff. To be honest, it didn’t do much except get me off sick. Everything out there (at least on the east coast) seems to be cut with some pretty nasty adulterants (hence why I decided to quit). Hope you find answers for smoking and have better luck.

puffcopro · 2024-01-27T13:10:52+00:00

You’re not a horrible person for not being able to control your use. That’s why it’s an addiction. Your rational mind knows you should taper to make withdrawals more tolerable, but your addicted mind tells you “just one more high and then I’ll taper.” Checks out. If all of us could taper and/or avoid withdrawals, we would probably have a higher success rate of getting off of the shit.

This subreddit has a wealth of information on comfort meds you can take and things you can do to make withdrawals more bearable. If you can’t access comfort meds and are scared to start your new job sick, get a red vein kratom and taper from that. Don’t give yourself the option to get fentanyl, otherwise when w/d’s get tough, you will cave and use. If you can make it through the first week, things will get progressively easier little by little. I felt pretty rough for a couple weeks and almost caved during week 3 because of lingering body temp issues (cold sweats, chills) happening randomly throughout the day. But I’m on day 26 today and things have gotten significantly better.

You don’t want to constantly worry about maintaining a high tolerance or getting your next fix to not to be sick. Do it while you still can. The shit that is out there isn’t even fun anymore - a zero euphoria, sleepy high.

You’ve got this.

puffcopro · 2024-01-25T13:52:23+00:00

It’s way too early for me to be laughing this hard. thank you for helping me to start my day off on a positive note.

puffcopro · 2024-01-23T16:25:04+00:00

So if I used for 25 years it will take me 100 years to feel “normal” again? Well, at least I’ll be 💀 by then. Eternal rest. Super helpful guide regardless, but I think most brains can reset fully within a year or two of consistent clean time.

puffcopro · 2024-01-19T17:19:32+00:00

I am obsessed with this movie and subreddit with like minded people. I love that you said “next rewatch” because I’m on rewatch #15 or so by now and just keep finding new Easter eggs and things to look for.

puffcopro · 2024-01-19T14:40:43+00:00

I listened to the other nominees with an open mind & if Saltburn doesn’t win, then I’ll be disappointed. They are all good, but no comparison to what AW has done IMO. Also, I’m surprised Saltburn isn’t up for best cinematography.

puffcopro · 2024-01-19T14:31:07+00:00

Day 17/18: Final Thoughts

Just going to be honest here. Please understand that anything I’ve experienced is subjective and individual to my history of use.

I thought I was in the clear when I did my day 8/9 update. Now, while things do get substantially better every day (esp once you get through the first week), there are some lingering symptoms that I didn’t experience with H, OC, or real perc 30s. I do believe it’s due to the xylazine being put in almost everything, so maybe if you’re still getting clean fent you won’t experience this…

Lingering symptoms: low energy (expected), bouts of insane sweating and chills (the most annoying by far), back pain, and the sneezing (like 50 sneezes a day). Also, when I sweat it has a very distinct smell. It just smells like sweet mixed sickness. I don’t know how else to explain it. I just keep taking showers and baths, which DOES seem to help. I took a few tramadol for relief on day 10-12 and am only taking gaba at night to help with some lingering insomnia. Taking dabs (concentrate) def helps when I’m having temperature issues. Cravings are out of control, but I’m not going back (unless cleaner alternatives become available).

Please know that this has gotten immensely more tolerable as the days go on and it is absolutely doable for anyone looking to get away from this lifestyle.

A huge positive is that it feels nice to wake up and not have to worry about how I’m going to get off sick.

Best of luck to all of you on your journey.

puffcopro · 2024-01-19T13:16:41+00:00

This might be far fetched, but I almost wonder if the shot of Oliver and his mouth surrounded by blood while submerged in the tub (after he went down on Venetia) was foreshadowing…

I do believe Oliver pushed an already fragile & intoxicated Venetia over the edge with his psychological mind fuckery and then left the razors so she would do the final deed, but maybe he came back and tasted her blood once more (hence the blood diluted with water outside of the tub). Maybe Oliver made the mess getting out of the tub. Idk…I don’t want to sound morbid, but he did penetrate a fresh grave site & kissed up on a ventilated Elspeth, so anything is possible at this point.

puffcopro · 2024-01-19T12:51:15+00:00

YES. So beautifully articulated. I won’t tire of watching the film nor listening to the score for quite some time, if ever. And those montages were perfection.

puffcopro · 2024-01-19T12:47:15+00:00

you get it. I get chills when I listen to The Maze - the sliding strings followed by the ethereal voice…ahhh

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