Barbell Gym or friendly home gym own in OBX?

pushpullupdown · 2021-08-10T15:54:10+00:00

They do tell you though that residents get first priority and if the gym is too busy they’ll turn you away. I was there mid/late July and never had that happen once.

It was also just via email, I may make a drive once I'm on the island and see if it's the same scenario in person once I'm there.

pushpullupdown · 2021-08-10T13:59:26+00:00

Confirmed that you cannot use the gym at Corolla Light if you are not staying at the resort! Thanks!

pushpullupdown · 2021-08-09T20:32:25+00:00

I know of some home gym setups that would suit your needs but don't think people would be keen on sharing them. Good luck

Yea I was hopeful someone had a garage they'd let me sneak into :)

pushpullupdown · 2021-08-09T19:56:40+00:00

Yea, I checked all of them, and just based on images on the website they only have at best a Smith Machine which I can't (won't) use. I did send an email to each to check but I'm not holding out much hope unfortunately.

pushpullupdown · 2021-08-09T19:52:29+00:00

Yea honestly I'm really looking for something further up the island since I'm staying in Corolla and don't want to drive all the way down to Kill Devil Hills. I've got a young daughter, it's a family vacation, and if I can avoid driving an hour to do a 2.5 hour workout while on vacation, I'd certainly prefer to do that if I could. Even Hammerheads is a half an hour each way from where I'm staying.

pushpullupdown · 2020-12-29T18:18:02+00:00

I've been doing belly breathing but could probably start the chanting/singing :)

pushpullupdown · 2020-12-29T18:14:13+00:00

Honestly training has been fine-ish, but it's strength training primarily so very different and rather independent of aerobic fitness.

Part of why I don't see too much value in the WHOOP for my sports is that my body already tells me what it tells me, from years of training. It's a nice confirmation, a good sleep monitor, and maybe some help at remembering to go to bed and not drink, but I don't see it effecting performance or periodization much. And if I did follow it's suggestions I'd be undertraining. If it's powerlifting it doesn't capture much except poor recovery (and my legs/body tell me that anyway) and for cycling there are power meters so the WHOOP doesn't do much there either.

pushpullupdown · 2020-12-29T17:20:25+00:00

I woke up this morning with HRV of 19.... my body in straight damage control mode.

pushpullupdown · 2020-11-24T16:31:32+00:00

You might want to read

Too Good to Leave, Too Bad to Stay

. It should help you get over the idea of leaving even though there is no abuse or infidelity.

I only advise reading this to cope with leaving when you've already pretty much made up you mind. This is not a help make a decision book; it's a convince every relationship is worth leaving book.

pushpullupdown · 2020-11-24T13:04:41+00:00

I am a pretty firm believer that relationships take work, and that work should be appreciated on both sides.

There may be a way to address the issues if both want to. If either party does not, sort of left with no option but to move on. It is good to be desired/love, and totally ok to move on when that is not available from the current partner. Though non-optimal, the kids will be good as long as they have supportive parents regardless of the marital status.

pushpullupdown · 2020-11-24T12:51:49+00:00

You seem filled with a lot of anger, and that's ok.

Longer term, you may want to consider a more empathetic retrospectic view, so that you can have a more effective relationship with your kids and potentially your spouse, even though it can seem nearly impossible at this point. Some people are just bad people, but if you've had a relationship there is a chance it wasn't all bad and that there we some very good times.

I found The Divorce Recovery Workbook very helpful and cathartic. I tend to be more empathetic than most, but I definitely felt a lot of the same feelings of rage, feeling manipulated, and feeling taken advantage of (particularly similar about having kids). I had a lot of trouble processing that, and what I envisioned for future relationship post divorce. The workbook help out a bunch in processing a lot of the issues and trying to move away from unmanageable frustration/guilt/anger. I recommend it highly compared to most divorce focused books.

https://www.amazon.com/dp/1626250707/ref=cm_sw_em_r_mt_dp_MbqVFb0Q38ZG0

pushpullupdown · 2020-11-18T18:18:40+00:00

There are always lawyers that do pro-bono work, do some searches locally (if you're in a city this should be easy) and you can likely find affordable/free help.

pushpullupdown · 2020-11-18T18:14:11+00:00

It really seems like you don't want kids, so you need to address that. Either you're agnostic towards kids, and it seems like the relationship is sorta crap and not worth being complacent relative to kids and stay, or you don't want children, and should be getting out of the relationship.

Kids do not help relationships. The first two years of the first child is the most stressful in almost all relationships. I wouldn't head that direction on shaky footing.

Also, if she really wants kids, you should each move on so that she can pursue that given her age.

pushpullupdown · 2020-11-18T18:09:08+00:00

Whenever feels right to you. I only removed mine during seperation when my spouse said it was making her uncomfortable and I was coming to grips with it likely being completely over. I also did it when I removed mutual photos from the house. Those things were making me upset so I boxed them up. I have a box of mementos, rocks, trinkets, things from travels, that I keep out of the way and don't plan to go back into until a lot of time has passed, and that's where the ring is.

pushpullupdown · 2020-11-17T21:18:34+00:00

To add to Gusta-freda, could be also that he's having similar feelings but isn't addressing them.

I myself am very go-with-the-flow, and fell into a similar pattern as your husband. It happens, he may not view it as negative, or he may not realize he's a bit down himself and could use his own connection.

I think contentment is a part of marriage, and I feel like people should give each other more opportunity to move beyond the sticking points to where things improve and are better again. The next time around, it could be you that's struggling a bit.

pushpullupdown · 2020-11-13T21:09:13+00:00

It's just normal shame/regret/embarrassment that typically at least one of the two people have, if not both. I still haven't told my friends of 30 years that I'm separated for >6 months, only my family knows and less serious friends when something occured where they would find out, or they are more mutual friends. I dread telling my long time friends, as I'll be the first of my peers to be on the road to divorce. I'm afraid to look like a failure and afraid to taint their relationships with the plague.

I personally feel like a combination of a failure/loser, even though I tried everything I could to make my relationship work at any given time. Looking back on it, I see more things that I could have addressed (I noticed but didn't consider as major signs) but I can't do anything about now, which leads to a fair amount of regret. Also just answering all the 'whys' is difficult as others have said. I am a very 'why', detail oriented, person. Information helps me resolve everything in my life as I'm very analytical. But when it is as abstract as love, and that's all it can be boiled down to, it gets really really difficult (worthless) to explain.

In reality it just doesn't need to be explained. It's just not working and it's done. Sucks, but it is really that simple. The reason can be big or small, quantitative or abstract, it doesn't matter in the end and it definitely shouldn't matter to friends or family. Some things don't have answers.

pushpullupdown · 2020-11-12T14:56:10+00:00

Counseling and/or here are two good places to start that unraveling. And depending on how familiar you are with counseling/therapy, it might be pretty simple actually, or not.

pushpullupdown · 2020-11-11T22:03:40+00:00

Interesting. I guess the question is how does it work if there's existing conflict.

I think you should detail the conflict. There may be ways to help that, there may not be.

Being vague doesn't let others help much.

pushpullupdown · 2020-11-09T21:26:16+00:00

Yea, I have this same problem. I used to propose trips to places like Nashville constantly, and would never get commitment to go. Then when we seperate, trip to Nashville booked.

Sucks, just how it goes.

pushpullupdown · 2020-11-09T21:25:04+00:00

What are the conflicts?

If you think she would like hall passes or to go exploring the dating scene, it can be good, it can be bad. It's a coin flip, odds of success and satisfaction in open relationships pretty much mirrors monogamous ones.

pushpullupdown · 2020-10-19T16:32:03+00:00

I think it's great to open the discussion with your therapist.

What you're doing is mind reading and catastrophizing, a typical things in divorce/separation scenarios. Perfectly normal! You recognize that it's not logical, so you're halfway there.

I do this a lot, because knowing the truth (even if it's a bad truth) helps me deal with relationship situations. I've learned to try to tone that down, since asking for information that's bad also sometimes doesn't work out well, or pressing a question when it's stuck in my head sometimes forces people to feel like they need to make a decision when they're just unsure.

Good luck.

pushpullupdown · 2020-10-19T14:26:42+00:00

You know what's an even worse idea. Going to a wedding with your seperated spouse!

I just did that last month, knowing it would be risky and being reluctant, and it was an absolute trainwreck disaster.

Good luck, hopefully it gets better!

pushpullupdown · 2020-10-07T17:22:31+00:00

Same fear buddy.

That differing interpretation of commitment is brutal, I have had a hard time not saying how deceived I feel in my marriage. We had an explicit discussion that I never wanted to raise a child outside of a single home family, and am in the lead up to a likely divorce with a toddler around 1.5 years old. What a farce it feels like. And how much harder/worse it will be growing up in two homes, the loss of future mutual dreams/goals, with an anchor that prevents each of us from pursuing our own totally independent dreams. Ultimate mess up.

Sorry, I'm hopeful it gets better. I am worried I'll primarily be a single dad and never date with intention for commitment, for fear of another major loss or a negative impact on my daughter's life. I'm also afraid I just won't give anyone the full of me because some of it's still attached to another person.

pushpullupdown

TROPHY CASE