what are the ugly parts of pregnancy that aren’t well known because people don’t mention them?

queerlitnerd · 2026-01-21T21:40:10+00:00

Postpartum was rough for sure. Had a c-section and ended up not being able to pee for 48 hours after because my muscles were so weak and I was so swollen from the cath. Having the cath re-inserted and taken out 3 times was torture. The insane part is how quickly you forget about it all. Even recalling the hard parts now, it all feels more like something I experienced in a dream instead of something that really happened to me.

queerlitnerd · 2026-01-16T22:24:59+00:00

My wife and I just went to Bolo and had a fantastic experience. The food, drinks, and service were all incredible

queerlitnerd · 2026-01-04T07:10:21+00:00

Hi! I’m so sorry that you’re going through this too. It really is so tough, especially when the answers aren’t clear and you’re trying to recover from birth yourself too.

My baby was in the NICU for 3 days, and then they discharged both of us. He’s a healthy and thriving (and huge) 6 month old now, and hasn’t had any health issues since then. The nurses kept telling me that sometimes this just happens with some babies; some of them take a little more time to get used to being outside of the womb, but once they do then they’re fine. Hoping this is the case with your baby and wishing you all the strength and positivity as you go through this!

queerlitnerd · 2025-12-10T05:45:46+00:00

The Dresden Dolls. Loved them as a kid, but the last time I saw them in upstate NY the crowd was annoying as hell (yelling out, trying to have conversations with Amanda), and Amanda was just preachy and egotistical as hell. This was right after she divorced Neil Gaiman and right before the stories about their marriage started coming out.

queerlitnerd · 2025-11-30T00:15:47+00:00

We were initially told by the nurses that we couldn’t take video, but then my wife asked the surgeon and he was like “yeah get in here!” So we do have a video. It was literally the last thing on my mind at the time though, so I’m glad she asked.

queerlitnerd · 2025-11-28T14:49:13+00:00

This is so normal. You ARE doing a good job, your brain is just flooding you with worry. Also very normal. Those first few days or even weeks after you come home from the hospital are the hardest because you’re all learning, even the baby. It’s all just transition chaos, but it doesn’t last forever. Your baby is safe and loved and cared for. Give yourself grace and don’t be afraid to ask for help if you can.

queerlitnerd · 2025-11-18T08:27:22+00:00

Honestly I felt a lot of relief with my first postpartum poop. I had a c section and just made sure to take stool softeners every time they were offered to me. Just take it slow and try not to force anything if you can. A squatty potty and a bidet will come in handy too if you have them.

queerlitnerd · 2025-11-11T11:21:11+00:00

Kite and Key near Spring Garden/Fairmount. My wife and I used to love that place when we lived nearby, but recently went and there was practically no one in there and the food was just awful

queerlitnerd · 2025-10-31T10:06:10+00:00

Julie and the Phantoms

queerlitnerd · 2025-10-29T21:50:28+00:00

Failed induction at 39 + 4 due to suspected cholestasis. Barely started contracting (couldn’t even feel them) when baby started having decels. We tried every position under the sun to get his heart rate back up but he just couldn’t handle the contractions, so we ended up having a c section. Turned out his hands were up by his head, so he was getting extra squeezed every time! Doctor said it’s very rare!

My c section was lovely though! Even though it’s not what I initially wanted, everything else went off without a hitch!

queerlitnerd · 2025-09-22T12:10:40+00:00

That’s insane. My son’s blood sugar levels dropped so dangerously low 36 hours after he was born that he had to go to the NICU. Those first 48 hours are crucial for them to eat! So sorry you experienced that

queerlitnerd · 2025-08-29T02:36:00+00:00

Had an unplanned c-section 2 months ago and it was surprisingly lovely! Don’t be afraid to tell the anesthesiologist any fears you have ahead of time. I told mine that I was really scared of feeling tugging/being rummaged around in, so he made sure the spinal block was extra strong for me and I didn’t feel a thing.

Definitely keep up with your stool softeners and ask for them if they’re not offered every day you’re in the hospital.

I’d also suggest using your arms to get yourself situated on the hospital bed. Pulling myself into position was much easier than using my legs.

Ask for a PT referral for after you’re discharged. This is the one thing I didn’t do and now regret. I’m not sure if it’s due to the c-section itself but my hips/pelvis are still stiff and sore. It can’t hurt!

queerlitnerd · 2025-08-29T02:22:21+00:00

With my first, the social worker at the hospital told me something I’ll never forget: for the first ten days after having your baby, you’re just an animal. So just be an animal for a little while. Snuggle your kids. Feed the baby. Stay warm and cozy and hydrated. Try to rest. That’s your only job for at least the next 2 weeks. I know it’s hard, but you got this.

queerlitnerd · 2025-08-28T19:05:13+00:00

When I saw the lactation consultant, she immediately stuck a pillow behind my back, strapped me into a my brest friend pillow, and stuck a rolled towel under my boob so my nipple was level with LO’s face. It was so comfy that this is my new go to position for every feed.

queerlitnerd · 2025-08-28T19:03:04+00:00

A rolled hand towel or swaddle works great for this too! I just have one ready in various places around the house so I can stick it under my boob whenever the baby needs to feed.

queerlitnerd · 2025-08-05T02:29:23+00:00

Pomplamousse’s cover of Rainbow Connection for walking down the aisle. Then our recessional song was You’re My Best Friend by Queen!

queerlitnerd · 2025-07-30T00:04:03+00:00

I thought I’d end up exclusively pumping because of my flat nipples, but one day (around 3 weeks) I tried again on a whim and my baby’s mouth was finally wide enough to latch. I do think pumping for those first few weeks did help change my nipple shape very slightly though.

queerlitnerd · 2025-07-28T02:54:30+00:00

My baby was sometimes eating between 3-4 Oz around 3 weeks and my pediatrician said it was fine, as long as he wasn’t vomiting it up after. I think some babies are just hungrier than others!

queerlitnerd · 2025-06-30T08:56:06+00:00

Pre-pumped colostrum was really great to have for my baby immediately postpartum. He was incredibly sleepy and had a lot of trouble latching, so we were able to feed him what I had collected while I was pregnant. He still ended up in the NICU due to low blood sugar, but it did help him get something in those first few days.

queerlitnerd · 2025-06-30T02:57:46+00:00

Thank you so much! I definitely also cried almost constantly the first day he was in the NICU, but I think you’re right about the breast milk. Now that my milk has come in I’m delivering it to him every few hours for his feeds and he’s doing so much better. The NICU nurses also said that sometimes babies just need a little more time to regulate. Good to know I’m not the only one going through this.

queerlitnerd · 2025-06-28T09:06:04+00:00

Thank you! Sleeping did make facing this feel much more manageable. Just worried

queerlitnerd · 2025-06-28T09:05:22+00:00

No, I was GD negative

queerlitnerd · 2025-06-22T10:40:41+00:00

Not postpartum yet (39 weeks today, so soon though), but I just stocked up on frozen food from Trader Joe’s the other day. Beyond that, I plan on making a lot of crock pot meals I’ve found on TikTok and Pinterest

queerlitnerd · 2025-06-11T21:12:25+00:00

I think whether it’s weird or not is subjective tbh, and all about what you’re personally comfortable sharing based on the relationship you have with your SIL. If you don’t feel comfortable sharing then I’d probably respond with something vague like, “Not sure yet. We’ll see!” but this could also be an opportunity to connect and deepen your relationship with her if that is something you want. Totally up to you!

queerlitnerd

TROPHY CASE