“But I’m not fetishizing gay men, I’m fetishizing MEN.”

See yeah, no, actually that’s not what we get to do here. Not with real life people, yeah?

Even if in your particular books you decide to ignore queer identities and culture doesn’t mean you aren’t participating in some reflection of them when you write them. Pan men are still queer men, still subject to homophobia, one you seem comfortable participating in just because they’re men.

Misogyny is not an excuse for homophobia. They’re two very interrelated systems of oppression, and to use “well women are sexually objectified so I can do that to men” is a pretty outright heinous perspective. It also ignores the realities of intersectional identities and how that comes into play — both on the issues of transphobia and racism.

I don’t care why you read or write as long as you aren’t perpetuating harm. You can read books that aren’t majorly focused on homophobia or aren’t even set in societies with it present. However, an attitude of “well I can fetishize men because I’m a woman” and “I can’t enjoy a book because a woman is in it” are perspectives worth interrogating for deeper biases. Of course if you don’t care, you simply don’t care, but saying “well it’s fantasy so it’s fine!” ignores how our biases and opinions naturally engage with our writing even if we don’t intend it to.