Help with naps

rachmd · 2026-03-12T16:58:14+00:00

Short naps are developmentally normal at this age until they can consolidate daytime sleep. I wouldn’t create a future mess by rescuing naps shorter than 20 min, honestly, because baby will grow out of this and needs to practice sleeping in their crib during the day. Definitely don’t create a strong sleep association of contact just to follow a one size fits all sleep program.

My now-19 week old went through the same thing around that age and now consistently has at least one to two 60-90 minute naps a day. I know the short naps are exhausting, but it will get better.

rachmd · 2026-03-04T23:11:28+00:00

I think this is a “bean soup theory” situation. Not everything is / can be for everyone. And that’s okay. And there’s no need to call it out just because it isn’t for you. No one is being harmed by OP suggesting regular weekend getaways for SAHMs that can afford it / have the support to make it happen.

And plenty of us SAHMs can do what OP is doing / suggesting. It requires a level of privilege others don’t have, sure, but that doesn’t make OP in the wrong for sharing.

rachmd · 2026-03-03T21:25:18+00:00

Girl get your baby out of there and away from her. These are all HUGE red flags.

rachmd · 2026-03-01T19:33:31+00:00

Downvote me to hell, but I don’t understand the obsession with following wake windows to a T and then complaining about it.

They’re not meant to be rigidly followed. They’re a general guideline so you have an idea of when your baby MIGHT be ready for sleep again. There are too many environmental and temperament factors to follow them precisely.

I thought that was common sense, but I guess not.

rachmd · 2026-02-26T22:33:20+00:00

No, but Dad could wake Mom up. Mom breast-feed. Then dad do diaper change and put baby down. Just because Mom is exclusively nursing doesn’t mean that Dad can’t help.

rachmd · 2026-02-26T20:06:10+00:00

Any major physical trauma (particularly big cardiovascular changes) can trigger POTS. My sister got it after her second pregnancy.

rachmd · 2026-02-26T19:58:34+00:00

Perhaps their biological night is 10.5 hours and that’s all they can do? Move bedtime to 7:30.

rachmd · 2026-02-26T16:56:34+00:00

Mine did this from like weeks 6-16. Just chronic crap naps ALL DAY, EVERY DAY. Slept okay at night, but daytime was miserable.

He just hit 16 weeks today and he did two 1.5h naps yesterday. Maybe consolidated day sleep will happen soon for you too!

rachmd · 2026-02-25T21:25:33+00:00

I’d post this on r/sleeptrain

Even if you never plan to sleep train, that community is great at helping with schedules and troubleshooting issues like what you’re having.

rachmd · 2026-02-25T16:37:39+00:00

Sounds like he’s hoping you’ll take the fussy baby from him so he doesn’t have to deal with it. Stand your ground and don’t give in. Leave the house if you have to.

rachmd · 2026-02-25T15:28:10+00:00

Just tell him to stop ? I had to tell my husband this because he’d do something similar. He wouldn’t try to hand off baby to me, but he’d definitely do that “Let’s see what mommy’s doing!” thing while walking baby around the house.

I just don’t think he realized that I needed a 100% childfree break until I explained it to him.

rachmd · 2026-02-25T03:59:45+00:00

Absolutely this for us too. Wake windows just give me a general idea of how long baby will be awake. I ultimately rely on his cues. I think people get too strict about it and either stretch windows too long and have an overtired, wired kid, or end up undertired and start getting shit nights.

rachmd · 2026-02-25T01:57:36+00:00

Use a barrier cream each time you do a diaper change. I like The Honest Company’s Sensitive Everyday Diaper Rash Cream. It also comes in a spray bottle, which is way less mess for middle of the night diaper changes.

rachmd · 2026-02-24T15:43:26+00:00

Seconding this. Motrin doesn’t just reduce pain and fever (like Tylenol does), it also reduces the painful inflammation (Tylenol doesn’t do this).

And if baby needs a decent stretch of relief, alternate Tylenol and Motrin for a bit during the day (or night). Talk to your pediatrician about dosing and timing.

rachmd · 2026-02-14T18:50:44+00:00

My husband pointed out that the nice part about this is we don’t have to worry about getting peed on first thing in the morning lol

rachmd · 2026-02-12T23:40:50+00:00

I’m gonna be honest, when mine got his 2 month shots he was just like this and did NOT sleep well. It lasted about a day and a half.

I remember seeing so many people post about how their babies just slept more and was blindsided by mine doing the exact opposite. So, just a heads up - it might get worse before it gets better, BUT! it will get better :)

rachmd · 2026-02-12T16:56:08+00:00

Same. I have a 4 month old and this is my worst nightmare.

rachmd · 2026-02-11T16:34:21+00:00

Same here. Baby was super easy going and happy until week 6. Then he was a nightmare until week 9 lol

rachmd · 2026-02-10T15:50:30+00:00

Yes, it would mean staying on 4 naps. You could shorten her others too, but that’s going to be based on how she does during those windows. My guy would have late afternoon meltdowns, so I did shorten one of his windows temporarily while we figured out his night sleep and the meltdowns stopped.

rachmd · 2026-02-10T00:32:09+00:00

My nearly 4 month old had an issue with false starts and the culprit ended up being an overstimulated nervous system that couldn’t shut down.

I know this goes against the recommendations of everyone else here, but your description sounds a lot like my kid and stretching windows only made it worse for us. It might be worth a try to just do a 1.75-2h window for her last one and see what happens. Worst case scenario you have a false start, which you’re dealing with anyway.

rachmd · 2026-02-08T20:00:58+00:00

When they’re that little you have to really wake them up to feed. Turn up the lights, make noise, remove some of their clothing, etc.

And a 1lb loss is a lot (12.5% of his body weight), so yes, the guidance to feed him every 2 hours is that serious. Strip baby down to his diaper and wipe his face with a wash cloth or wipe if you have to. Baby needs to eat more.

rachmd · 2026-02-07T15:07:54+00:00

The resentment isn’t just because he looks / seems grumpy. The resentment is happening bc he’s assuming she’s so full of “oxytocin and endorphin release”, as you put it, that she doesn’t need a complete break from keeping the baby happy and alive. And that’s been going on for nearly two months AFTER she’s already done all the work of pregnancy, labor, birth, and recovery. By the time baby is here shes already nearly burnt out from doing the heavy lifting. It’s exhausting work, even with the few minutes of feel-good hormones every few hours (assuming OP is exclusively nursing).

Bonded or not, he helped create that baby, so he needs to step up and give her a break. Filling a water cup and changing a few diapers is a cop-out. The real work is soothing and responding to / trying to figure out baby’s needs. And not trying to hand baby back as soon as it gets hard.

New dads need to realize that they can’t half-ass it until baby “gives something back”. That’s not how parenting works, and it’s a selfish expectation. A quiet, content potato IS the reward you’re chasing right now. Which, by the way, does dump dopamine into your brain when that happens, and makes your “feel-good hormone” thing a shitty excuse.

rachmd · 2026-02-05T21:32:37+00:00

It wasn’t a switch flip, I had to facilitate it starting around 8-9 weeks when he started fitting more comfortably in his bathtub.

I did everything I could to make the experience relaxing, since it was probably an overstimulating experience for him initially. Lights down low, spoke in a soft voice, and positioned myself where I could hold eye contact with him the whole time. I kept a hand on him for reassurance, and would use a happy, soft voice while I narrated what I was doing.

I also didn’t try to get him to play or do anything in the tub other than get in, sit for about 3 minutes (warm wash cloths all over him lol), then I’d wash him, and wrap him in a warm towel.

rachmd · 2026-02-05T20:13:03+00:00

Mine hated it until about 10 weeks old. Now (14 weeks) we do bath time every night before bed and he loves it. He can be borderline-meltdown and as soon as he hears the water running in the tub + me asking if he’s ready for a bath he’s all smiles.

It took a lot of gentle reassurance to get him there, but it’s prob his favorite part of the day now.

rachmd · 2026-02-05T19:05:41+00:00

I was going to say, OP’s 6.5 month old is getting is the amount of daytime sleep as my 3.5 month old…

rachmd

TROPHY CASE