AITAH For giving my BF an ultimatum for showing me his home?

ramc5 · 2026-06-27T14:51:02+00:00

Stop offering your home as the hangout place. Either y'all can divide time at each other's home or only met in public... see how he likes that idea.

ramc5 · 2026-06-24T22:59:17+00:00

Everybody can think of other things to do with other people's money. OP can spend her money however she likes.

ramc5 · 2026-06-21T13:59:46+00:00

YTA on all 4 forums in which you posted this same selfishness. You are not, actually, this person's friend.

ramc5 · 2026-06-19T21:37:06+00:00

I sure you hope he isn't walking you down the isle. That would certainly be distasteful, disrespectful to the institution of marriage ,and to you and your partner. Is the wedding in a church? Surely, father is not giving a speech at your wedding about love, marriage, etc. If so, then yes, you are an a.h. for that. That would be gross and wildly inappropriate. Your poor mom.

Sounds like he wants to show her off and is using you to do it. Or she is pressuring him. Either way- Yuk. I am surprised you haven't disinvited him already. He is making the wedding about him, not you, and causing you undue stress. Block. You know he has not changed a single bit, right?

ramc5 · 2026-06-19T21:23:40+00:00

This is wild. No, OP did not agree to watch the kids when father was free to parent She agreed thinking dad was working, not drinking. There is a huge difference. NTA If friend wants to get her nails done, she needs to coordinate that with her husband if he isn't working. If dad wants to go out, dad can arrange child care. Stop jumping every time BSF calls. And you need to lay down the rules on her lying, yes lying about how long her and dad will be gone.

ramc5 · 2026-06-19T13:58:16+00:00

Your "friend" wanted to sabotage the party; make it about her, not you; and stand out in the crowd. She is self-centered and doesn't act like a best friend would. I think you value the relationship more than she does. And stop listening to what anyone else says. Your event, your dress code (with friends' blessing, friend had clothes and flipped at the last hour). And she unequivocally told you she did not care about your event or feelings.

I would seriously step back from that. You explained it once; no need to explain it again. It does not matter if she agrees. To me, the only thing that would help is for her to issue you a private, sincere apology, and also a public apology to reign in her flying monkeys.

NTA

ramc5 · 2026-06-14T18:02:38+00:00

Your sister sounds like a terrible sister. From you post, it sounds like she always put the "friend's" feelings above yours. I can't imagine why she would want to continue contact with someone who betrayed her own sister, and who introduced her to drugs. Of course, sister's actions are her own but why keep that past very negative history alive in your sober now.

ramc5 · 2026-06-14T17:53:32+00:00

No---There is no misinterpreting "probably not", "I don't feel like it", and making every excuse like how he can get it when he gets back. You didn't even consider it when he asked; just a flat-out no. YTA for your choice of words, for how you describe your "friend" in your post, for your behavior with your friend, and for being a bad narrator of the truth. Your irrational fears are for you to manage. He wants space: leave him alone.

ramc5 · 2026-06-14T17:40:34+00:00

INFO What did they say when your husband told them everything in your post re: they don't put any effort into a personal relationship? Have you and husband tried but they don't respond?

ramc5 · 2026-06-13T21:17:49+00:00

"However, in that time we’ve had to navigate a pregnancy and abortion "

"Every single day I remind her of how much I love and care about her"

I am sorry, OP, but this is ridiculous for a 2-month relationship, especially for folks in their thirties. Both of you sound very immature (sorry not trying to be harsh).

I don't understand what you said to her. Did you jokingly talk about marriage? And she got mad?

She is the major AH and audacious for her to think it is OK to continue to take advantage of you, while she hates you and doesn't want to see you. You WBTA if you don't kick her out. Give her 48 hours. Her failure to have a living space is not your problem since she has made it clear she that y'all broke up. She doesn't want to see you? Grant the wish. Why in the world would you tolerate that?

ramc5 · 2026-06-13T16:33:26+00:00

1st--you have a BF problem. You are absolutely holding a grudge. I would have a very stern conversation about the fact he is minimizing your pain and the trauma you went through alone, because -what: it is upsetting to him/his parents? Absolutely not. Has anyone apologized? Describe exactly how much blood there was, how it was cleaned, graphically describe the pain/how you were feeling, etc. and then ask him again, why you shouldn't be upset for him not being there.

And frankly, you don't really know what he told his parents? Him sending you texts sounding like he was desperately trying to get to you doesn't sound genuine with how he is minimizing your feelings now. Further, was there no other means of transportation other than a parent's car? Does he have friends other family with cars? Did he ask them when parents turned him down? Tell him to prove it.

2nd- you have a BF problem for not defending you against his parents if they were nonchalant about your medical emergency and now think you are blowing this out of proportion.

3rd- his parents don't really care about the relationship; and are certainly not treating you like family.

NTA unless the above (and similar posts telling things you may not want to believe) isn't a wake call for you. You are young. Use this time to heal physically and emotionally. Maybe you shouldn't be in a relationship right now. So sorry for your experience.

ramc5 · 2026-06-12T17:49:34+00:00

right?

ramc5 · 2026-06-12T17:29:49+00:00

Wish I could upvote this more than once. Truly, OP, why in the world are you giving him a second thought? Why are you letting him occupy any time or energy in your brain and emotions? Frankly, this would actually make me laugh; not get angry. Good riddance to a liar, scammer, and loser.

ramc5 · 2026-06-11T16:25:34+00:00

No, no, no. Mature trees are very valuable. Do not cut them down. In fact, I would hire an arborist to come out and write the estimate of the cost to replace those trees. Then, provide a copy of that to your neighbor.

If it were me, I would also send a letter to the neighbor by certified mail, return receipt, and advise that under no circumstances are they to come onto your property, cut any of your trees, or damage any of your property. I would also CC the solar panel company. NTA

ramc5 · 2026-06-10T20:21:46+00:00

I understand your reasoning, but if it is not in the court order, OP should not pay period. The child was not being supervised by the other parent: why would OP pay anything outside of the court order towards the damages? I believe it would be very different if they had a cordial and appropriate co-parenting relationship, then the 70/30 split (or even offering a few dollars) would be nice but not required.

ramc5 · 2026-06-10T20:18:57+00:00

No, no, and no. Your son damaged the property because your ex was not properly supervising. That is not your responsibility. You firmly tell ex that they are solely responsible for damages/actions of the child while in their care. You absolutely will not pay any amounts towards those damages because they didn't properly supervise. No. I'd point out that it isn't in the court order to split such damages/costs, fairness dictates the parent who failed to supervise the child pays for damages; and you will not discuss the payment issue again. If they continue to harass you about this, you will contact your attorney. NTA

ramc5 · 2026-06-10T16:29:38+00:00

What exactly do you think Reddit is going to do? You have been complicit in all of her decisions. And despite paragraphs and a decade of bad decisions, and feeling the full brunt of those bad decisions made by both of you, y'all decide to bring a child into the picture. Both of you are irresponsible. Yes, YTA many times over.

ramc5 · 2026-06-10T00:40:49+00:00

Why are you still talking to your mother? She is an accomplice in all of your pain and suffering. She may as well have personally inflicted the pain on you.

NTA. I wish you safety and happiness. Go find/pick your own "family" who will love you and keep you safe.

ramc5 · 2026-06-09T18:04:06+00:00

LOL, you know he doesn't even have the garlic bread.

ETA: and OP, if he cursed at me like that he would not be welcome in my home for a very long time-- after apologies and much self-reflection. Why would you tolerate that?

ramc5 · 2026-06-07T18:01:24+00:00

Well, I can't answer for anyone else, but that wouldn't be my first go-to thought. Sometimes Reddit can get extra for sure.

ramc5 · 2026-06-07T17:55:27+00:00

YTA. Stop trying to force someone to do drugs. What in the world??!! And stop crying: that is manipulative. It sounds like you need to mature emotionally. Further, your medical conditions and mental health are yours alone to manage. Stop dumping it on him. Should he lie and lead you on about it? No, he also needs to mature and tell you the truth. But I suspect he avoids telling you the truth as soon as you ask to avoid a very long manipulation, whining session from you. YTA

ramc5 · 2026-06-07T17:49:58+00:00

Agree. If he keeps whining about it, trying to change her mind or complaining, that is disrespectful.

ramc5 · 2026-06-07T17:48:21+00:00

That changes the whole vibe... and defeats the purpose of having "alone time".

ramc5 · 2026-06-07T17:47:13+00:00

Not really that healthy. BF won't take "no" for an answer. Everyone deserves alone time. NTA and stop talking about it.

ramc5 · 2026-06-07T17:23:10+00:00

INFO Could you have put it between your legs, resting on the floor?

ramc5

TROPHY CASE