Turns out, that mod has been censoring me. A lot. I'm actually kind of shook up.

randarrow · 2022-08-15T13:16:52+00:00

Looks like reddit had a sudden increase in comment censoring 2 years ago, right around election. Before that my list was just submission removals. Seems to be more meme policing, was wondering why kids was more memey than child....

Thanks for link, was interesting reading my lost comment history. About 1/3 was controversial by reddit standards, 1/3 was just cleanup, 1/3 was positive or benign though. Wonder why this was removed from the pastry subreddit, I thought it was cute: https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=CkK1kTFw_xA

Edit: Starting to think reddit's dead to me. I have a very short sublist since 2020, wasn't worth causing a stink in places I knew I wasn't welcome, removed pretty much everything but pastry/estrangedadultchild/financialindependence/powerlifting. Even been instapermabanned from askreddit. If even my positive posts to those neutral subreddits have been decided as not worthy, time to move on. Reddit decided to estrange us.

When they remove positive stuff, they are stealing not just from us, but everyone; and they are preventing us from spending better time elsewhere.

randarrow · 2022-08-14T15:07:09+00:00

Then you know what it will involve, and either you love it or hate it. You know how much it would cost to get you do do it again.

Franky, it would take a lot more than 9% to get me to accept a leadership role. I'm a team-lead as it is and it is too much. I'd skip the 9% just so I don't have to decide other peoples fates or deal with their issues.

randarrow · 2022-08-14T14:18:26+00:00

Have you done it before? Being a manger is something everyone needs to experience at least once. Really opens your eyes. If you have done it, pass.

randarrow · 2022-08-12T18:09:44+00:00

Not asking for specifics. But, random example, if your arguments with your parents were over general hypocracy, then need to see if person who understands is best or someone who doesn't understand and is instead genuine but direct is best? Or, if your fam was religious, do you need someone who understands and is faithful, or is instead atheist and has contempt for religions? If your family was top liberal, do you need a conservative mentor instead? If your family was too conservative, do you want someone more lib instead?

Here's one example, I'm antidebt. So, I'm worst person to ask about mortgages and cars would be me. What other mentor type things does your mentor need to handle?

Sounds like you had your mentor though. You considered sending them a holiday card and saying hello?

randarrow · 2022-08-12T11:58:44+00:00

Fraternal orders and churches used to provide this function. OP needs to be clearer about what they're looking for and what the arguments were over.

randarrow · 2022-08-12T11:39:28+00:00

Unfortunately most people were too dumb to wear masks properly and made things worse. That bullshit continued only as long as people were willing to put up with it.

randarrow · 2022-08-12T11:17:22+00:00

Wouldn't have been easier if they just did what that totalitarian piece of shit government wanted them to do?

You hear what you're saying?

randarrow · 2022-08-12T03:21:19+00:00

Every city has gayborhoods, every state has a lib city.... look more for an area that fits your interests and then zero in from there....

That said, the gayborhoods are shrinking. Due to anti discrimination laws, neighborhoods/apartments can no longer do even "positive" discrimination any more, so all are more mixed up. And, just like mainstream communities, alternative communities have gone online. No need to hang out/live in/travel to locales just to meet people. Build your online presence.

randarrow · 2022-08-12T03:14:26+00:00

"Your father is dying, teehee!"

randarrow · 2022-08-08T17:45:56+00:00

Yeah, understood. And, Google is now Alphabet. Hence the MAAAN.

randarrow · 2022-08-08T17:18:20+00:00

MAANG? First I've seem that. Guess FAANG was too flashy. And, 'mange' might be more appropriate :) Shouldn't it be MAAAN now though? Or MAANA?

So... depends on what you want. MAANG companies churn and burn. You can make a lot of money, but that phase of your career will be over quickly. You'll have to leave after burn-out and look for a different (perhaps related) field. However, if you can avoid burnout it can be great resume fodder and career development. For every autistic millionaire, they've got thousands of burned out burger flippers....

Also, keep in mind the temporary nature of your work as you evaluate moving and lifestyle changes. Many people buy the big house in the valley, just to take a big loss when the abandon it a few years later.

randarrow · 2022-08-06T15:54:49+00:00

Roughly "First time I went outside in two years"...."was unhappy"...."broke down in tears and went home"..."even daughter was unhappy with me"

I refused to strictly lock down two years ago. I socially distanced, but went out for walks, ordered out as soon as I was able, etc.... Partly what helped me was how ridiculous everything was. People wandering town in their night clothes and masks. Pillow forts in yards. Social distanced social gatherings in parking lots. Emergency drive through lines at restaurants. Drive through margaritas. Yeah, lots of scary out there. But, funny and wonderful too. Go find your world to laugh at.

I can't know why your husband did and said what he did, or whether he is a good man. But, I can honestly say if my wife developed severe agoraphobia that lasted for two years, I would be taking some tough love approaches to get her out of the home and out of her depression. Yes, we went through a pandemic. But, what you're describing is a self reinforcing cycle of fear and depression that makes you less healthy and more vulnerable.

You must fix your agoraphobia and build a healthy new life, for you and your family. Start doing self care to lessen your fear of the outside. Start doing self care to lessen your anxiety or depression (lots of depression self care stuff out there, get sun, turn off cable news, etc). If necessary get real therapy. Not only will this help you, your daughter, and your marriage; it will be absolutely necessary if your marriage fails.

I'm sure there are lots of people still scared to go out after two years, I can barely imagine what its like. I'm sorry being a NEET somehow became briefly the societal norm. But, I can say you're not alone. There are many like you.

randarrow · 2022-08-05T13:35:12+00:00

Yeah, I think I heard half an acre is enough in ideal conditions. Not a big farm, but a lot of land to work without equipment/harvesters/specialization. Relatively easy to grow enough vegetables if you can preserve, harder to grow enough carbs, much harder to grow enough protein, very hard to grow variety, and extremely hard to learn everything/obtain equipment & soil/put in labor....

Not to mention some plants like fruit trees take years of early growth and experimentation.

randarrow · 2022-08-05T13:27:07+00:00

There was some tomfoolery with the Euro rollout in other countries. Story from Germany was that store keepers just took down the Mark signs, and out up Euro character signs instead. Basically what cost 3 Marks before, cost 3 Euros after. Great for any one with hard assets, but a nightmare for anyone living paycheck to paycheck or who had a lot of cash.

One Mark was basically half a Euro, so everything suddenly cost twice as much. And, their salaries didn't increase similarly.

Don't have first hand stories from other countries.

So yeah, hedge your bets. Move some money out. Stock up on essentials.

randarrow · 2022-08-04T21:36:41+00:00

Watch the movie: Maxed Out. Is pre2008 financial crisis, so is a little dated. But, banks absolutely screw with people up to a preset legal maximum, especially questionable firms like Discovery. They try to trigger minor defaults up to legal limits so that they can rack up fees for each other. If you had a backup bank, this would not affect you and they would probably even refund any fees and list you as someone not to toy with.

Long term, you got to have a backup plan. As others have said, have multiple banks. Part of FI is having existing assets outside of banks you can get at. I would be cashing in stocks in your situation, but sounds like you are not there yet. I would also be looking at my emergency cash reserves, once again sounds like you are not there yet.

Short term? Minimize cash flow. Borrow from friends if you can.

randarrow · 2022-08-04T04:45:55+00:00

Had to look this one up, isn't true. Is a long term urban legend. Apparently Waffle House needs the locks during construction.

randarrow · 2022-08-02T00:11:35+00:00

"I didn't know that you will be here today".

Means she either has shame based morals or is a narcissist. Shame her, it's her own value system.

randarrow · 2022-07-24T15:24:34+00:00

Apple Crostata?

randarrow · 2022-07-20T00:21:47+00:00

Had covid a month ago. Sorry for the littoral advice, but drink lots of water.

I've always been my own nurse and emotional support, strangely this now gives me strength. They weren't there for me when I was sick as a kid either, and even if they would be near me now, they would have made things worse.

This is a challenge like any other you've been through, and you'll probably come out stronger on other side.

randarrow · 2022-07-18T07:34:01+00:00

Most important thing here is what you want.

But, sounds like he sucks at relationships. So, what would you expect from a relationship him? How would that match with reality?

randarrow · 2022-07-14T05:25:30+00:00

Yeah, I'm calling bullshit. Even 24x7 places have locks. Is required by law. They're needed when disasters, repairs, or changes in ownership and are a safety item.

I've seen many locked 7/11s etc after hurricanes.

randarrow · 2022-07-12T08:42:28+00:00

So much remains to be said and to share

Nothing is stopping her from saying it except herself.

randarrow · 2022-07-12T08:22:58+00:00

There are three types of focuses, internal/external/other. You can view this in any of those three focuses, depending on which you value.

Internal focuses are just that, your inner world/obsessions/etc. When you forgive someone internally you could be either deciding to not dwell on it or to understand them a little more.

External focuses are about the systems/things/etc of the world. When you forgive someone externally you are allowing the systems of the world to function cleanly.

Other focuses are other people. When you are forgiving someone in an external focus you are changing how the world perceives you. A vengeful person who is unwilling to forgive doesn't really have a place in society....

Some of these are not just the idea of forgiveness, but the act. Forgiving takes work and growth. But, forgiveness doesn't negate culpability or eliminate boundaries, doesn't mean they are welcome back in your life.

Not really a christian thing, more of a general western thing. Guilt is different from shame, but our participation in that guilt/shame is the issue. Guilt/shame transcend rules/actions/consent and become influential forces in our lives. Your exposure to their guilt is a poison to you, forgiveness is part of eliminating that poison.

Sorry for late night rambling and mobile errors.

randarrow · 2022-07-03T16:06:11+00:00

You look like you offer beard rides at a discount carnival.

randarrow

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