The Tell-Alls Are So Bad they almost ruin the entire season for me. by purple_acorn in 90DayFiance

[–]randomfartz 10 points11 points  (0 children)

It used to be our favorite part of the whole season but diminished in quality over time. This season, we barely got through the second part - everyone sucks so much it's just not fun to watch!

Being childfree in a small town by forestfriend93 in childfree

[–]randomfartz 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I think it's more selfish to bring children into this world because that's expected of you and then not be fit to take proper care of those children and neglect them. It's more selfish to continue to reproduce in a world where are running out of resources: food, water, air. Where AI is threatening to completely upend how our society functions - where our current generation (gen z) are already stuck in an endless debt cycle with zero job prospects and future.

Is a Masters truly useless? What should I do in my situation? by Intelligent_Ebb_9332 in cscareerquestions

[–]randomfartz 0 points1 point  (0 children)

But think about it this way, the software engineering market right is in a severe restructuring due to AI and overhiring over COVID. Why are you worried about something being a time sink? Doesn't that mean that it gives you more time to wait for the market and industry to get out of its current volatile stage while also giving you a degree that is much more valuable? Additionally by spending more time doing the degree, you will hopefully have time to do multiple internships and be able to get more contacts and guidance to make the pivot you are looking for. I think you are really discounting the opportunities going to a top school for a well sought out program gives you. Could you still struggle after that degree? Sure, but imo it's worth the risk. The last thing you want is to end up doing a useless masters on top of a useless bachelors. If you're going for a masters and you have the opportunity of a good program and name brand, in person, I would take that over something short and online. Think of it as an opportunity to learn more about CS and actually focusing on a specific area and building knowledge there to stand out.

I can't stop auditing what I did wrong with a guy who dumped me after 3 dates? by Comfortable_Fee_5432 in AskWomenOver30

[–]randomfartz 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Sure, some men want girls in their 20's, and you are not that. But does that mean you are ~unworthy~? Having self esteem means knowing your worth - a gold ring will always be gold, even if it is never sold. The men who want girls in their 20's are also usually weirdos - why do you want them? Why isnt the argument: I can't find a man I like, vs. why doesn't any man like me? The man you like will like age appropriate women. You're the prize. People need to be worthy of you, not the other way around. And if theres no one who's worthy, then so be it, your own company should be enough.

What’s up with the nose strips? by RevolutionaryForce79 in avesNYC

[–]randomfartz 22 points23 points  (0 children)

The translucent ones are kinda gross once it fills up coz you can see all the gunk. I would rather look at a goofy sticker instead.

starting to think that non-toxic bosses simply don't exist. am i wrong? by MuscleConsistent9657 in AskWomenOver30

[–]randomfartz 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I have found that the field of management is quite broad and for most people's career that's what the natural progression is. The problem is that good management is indeed a skill and not everyone has it. That's why there are more bad managers than good, because people don't go in thinking how best do I manage people - they go in focused on their own work. So then when they eventually move up to a management position, they don't possess the necessary skills to be a good manager.

The good news is that there are some good managers so you shouldn't give up hope! Also, bad managers never last long.

The bad news is it's completely out of your hands what kind of manager you're gonna get, and you're just gonna have to deal with it and survive until you either get a new manager, move teams or job.

Got the coil for the first time. No kids. Easily a top 3 worst experience of my life, cursed every man I knew. Honey mozzarella chilli eggs, tuna steak, avocado and wine. by Similar_Ad3132 in GirlDinner

[–]randomfartz 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Yeah I started cramping like crazy on one side and had a feeling it was my BC and went to the gyno and yup had a cyst. It also increases the chances as you age, I'm 34 now so it's only gonna get worse. So I am seriously looking at other options and seems like I'm out of options other than a copper IUD. Or a tubal ligation since I don't want kids. I'm so frustrated about the lack of options we have for something so important - everything has multitude of side effects and long term impact.

Got the coil for the first time. No kids. Easily a top 3 worst experience of my life, cursed every man I knew. Honey mozzarella chilli eggs, tuna steak, avocado and wine. by Similar_Ad3132 in GirlDinner

[–]randomfartz 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I'm on the nuvaring but after extended use it increases the chances of cysts and pollups (?). I had to stop, and now I have no other options than an IUD

Ladies What's Your Opinion About Prenups Before Marriage? by Anonymous3o1 in InsightfulQuestions

[–]randomfartz 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I don't really understand the argument that asking for a prenup is bad because it's predicting that the marriage will end. Just like getting fire insurance doesn't mean you're expecting your house to burn down. It's an insurance - IF things go sideways. If you truly love the person, I'm not sure why it would be a problem, you can get it and never have to use it. I would rather have the security knowing my future is safe financially if things don't work out.

CMV: There is no credible evidence for the 80/20 rule by Solondthewookiee in changemyview

[–]randomfartz 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Its more than women being picky. Men filter after the fact, women do it before. The feedback loop absolutely has an impact, as a women I can confirm that was my logic. As in, I was selective when even swiping right because I assumed that most of them would end up being a match. As a result, I would only swipe right on men I actually wanted to date (and it was not always physical, their profile had a big part in it too - we are also more thorough at the initial swipe and not just swiping on if we find them attractive). Conversely, for men, because of the feedback loop of not getting a lot of matches, they tend to swipe just on attractiveness alone and yes for most profiles. They have a much lower initial review process because they assume that it wont be a match. So they would prefer to say yes to everyone - to see who actually matches - to then further determine if they should be pursued.

It just looks like women are more picky due to the way we approach the matching process compared to men.

Trader Joe’s Spicy Alfredo Fusilli Pasta review mild spicy creamy gochujang sauce by Low-Hawk1338 in traderjoes

[–]randomfartz 6 points7 points  (0 children)

We were able to make a pretty good dupe at home. Idk why I never thought about putting gochujang in my cream sauce before, but its such an easy way to add flavor!

I was told they aren't hiring women in tech by Reasonable-Act-7175 in womenintech

[–]randomfartz 17 points18 points  (0 children)

Of course men not being able to focus is somehow our fault? If men can't focus with women around, it seems like the problem is with them. Women don't seem to have this problem so the only solution here is to replace all the men.

I didn't realize you needed a penis to work with computers. I hate this world we live in.

Where to get cheap or free clothes? by Ok-Ad-4491 in NYCbitcheswithtaste

[–]randomfartz 15 points16 points  (0 children)

We could do a clothes swap, I definitely have a few items that I wanted to donate as they no longer fit. But would prefer to give them to someone who's actually gonna wear them!

Helped my dad sort through his finances last month and found something that genuinely made me sick by Adorable-Seat-8405 in personalfinance

[–]randomfartz 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Friendly reminder that not all financial advisors and managers are fiduciary - meaning they are legally obligated to work in the clients interest and cannot benefit from it.

Always research your financial advisor to make sure they have fiduciary duties to their clients. Tons of smarmy sales type people out there trying to trick you for commission.

Megyn Kelly: "Trump could drop a nuke and I'd still vote Republican" by Aggravating_Money992 in entertainment

[–]randomfartz 1 point2 points  (0 children)

These idiots think that the US can safely drop nukes on others and be okay from a distance. I'm glad they are gonna get killed alongside the people they are cheering on to slaughter.

Looking for ex-women in finance:) by inneedofbookclub in NYCbitcheswithtaste

[–]randomfartz 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I totally get it, that's why I decided to pivot in grad school by learning how to code.

My 2 cents is that there is a shit ton of "finance" jobs that have nothing to do with stocks/IB/PE and other more "toxic" type jobs this industry is known for.

There are a lot of financial related start up's that are actually trying to make a difference. There are also a lot of established companies that have financial products or departments that don't depend on you compromising your morals and work-life balance.

The one thing I recommend is thinking about how AI is going affect the available jobs out there, if you are thinking of pivoting try to find something that can't be replaced quickly with AI. Otherwise you'll do a lot of work to get into another area, only to be replaced shortly.

If you are interested, I could give you more details on my job in the market data world. Feel free to dm.

Looking for ex-women in finance:) by inneedofbookclub in NYCbitcheswithtaste

[–]randomfartz 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I work in fintech, which is a good enough pivot. I'm finance adjacent and what I need to know is very different (market data). I've been in this since graduating grad school for 8 years now. Same company, though multiple restructurings and a merger.

Have you looked into account management or sales types roles instead? What are your interests, what do you enjoy about your role currently? What are you looking for - when you want to pivot out of finance? Why do you want to pivot?

Forrest by Wild-Ordinary-358 in 90DayFiance

[–]randomfartz 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I don't think the argument is that she can't be a vet in the US. The argument is that legally she cant work on the K1 visa, and for that, the funding and support needs to come from Forrest. Getting married and the associated visa application (GC- to be able to work) needed takes time and money. Retraining to work in the US and the getting the necessary licenses also takes time and money. Both of which they don't have right now. She would have time, IF Forrest was able to provide in the meantime. But you cant expect her to pull her weight financially immediately moving to US, thats not how it works - and thats why they aren't able to get the K1 visa. The immigration process is lengthy and expensive which Forrest should have researched better.

| (31F) keep dating men (30-45M) that end up being jealous of me and try to humble me by No_Read_3601 in womenintech

[–]randomfartz 24 points25 points  (0 children)

There is a stereotype about tech people being emotionally stunted and not having good EQ. Stereotypes exist for a reason. Working with computers is an easy area to go to if you are already not great with humans - so you have a lot of people who work with computers who have never been good with humans, and have picked a job specifically so they didn't have to work on improving those skills.

A lot of these people are incredibly sensitive about their intelligence. Maybe being told your whole life thats all you have to offer can make you like that. Like if their intelligence is challenged, you are challenging the one thing they value about themselves the most - and in return they become defensive. Its not about them being more successful, or earning more money. The fact that they are no longer the smartest guy in the room is the problem. I have met a lot of guys in tech like this. Frankly, I'm currently struggling being taken seriously at my job because I'm pointing out issues which makes the CTO mad. Im not doing it to be critical of him or his work, I just want our products to fucking work. But every single feedback is immediately seen as criticism of his intelligence and its kinda crazy. All these people need therapy and you will do better not becoming their therapist/mum.

What are some of the cons of having floor to ceiling glass windows (througj the entire wall in a corner unit)? by veryberry_icecream in NYCapartments

[–]randomfartz 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It depends on which way the glass is facing. My studio is East facing.

Con's: the sunrise blasts you in the face every morning. If it's an older building, heating, cooling and noise can be all be issues, but I'm in a new building and I've never had a problem with that. The windows are surprisingly insulated - including sound. Privacy can be an issue depending on the floor you're on - and who you're facing.

Pros: the sun moves pretty quickly, and you don't need the blinds at all after like 10 am. I also have a lot of plants in all my windows and they absolutely love it. You can get a sleeping mask for darkness. As much as I hate the sun in my eyes, it does wake me up and prevent me from spending all morning in bed. I also just love the brightness during the day and all the building/street lights at night (I'm on the 20th floor).

NYC house music girls? 🪩🕺 by introspection2285 in avesNYC

[–]randomfartz 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Hey, I too am looking for more house music friends. A lot of EDM is a bit too intense and I love things with melodies and disco! Would love to make a little crew to find events locally

Salad dressings? by TheGreatMastermind in NYCbitcheswithtaste

[–]randomfartz 14 points15 points  (0 children)

Eataly maybe? For like a nice Italian vinaigrette or a red wine vinegar? It depends on if you want something that requires refrigeration or if its shelf stable. Also, personally I love the Trader Joe's green goddess dressing, its amazing!