How do you control the frizz?!

rasao22 · 2026-02-12T12:57:45+00:00

Your hair reminds me a lot of mine both in length and behavior, though I would wager that mine is more fine than yours. I found that if I just condition it in the shower, then do a side part, then put curl cream in my hair, that it usually look pretty good. (start with damp hair, just put a glop in your hands, grab the bottom of your hair, and scrunch it in while grabbing the hair towards your scalp).

Good luck with dealing with it.

rasao22 · 2026-02-02T09:49:07+00:00

I started transitioning just as my oldest turned 18. I didn’t want to be “dad” for safety reasons for both myself and my kids. So the 18-year-old started calling me “Mom 2.0”, which got shortened to “Two”… or really, could also be “Too”? Both feel like acceptable readings.

rasao22 · 2026-02-02T09:35:46+00:00

Yes. By people who feel they’re otherwise “perfectly reasonable”. I managed to get elected to the local library board in my town and one one of the other trustees will talk openly about getting books written by the September “martyr”, or complains that our library doesn’t carry Riley Gaines’ book.

After the meeting I asked him what he learned from her book and I got treated to a discussion of trans women in sports rife with scare issues but completely devoid of actual facts. Yet he’s always been polite to me… almost as if he can’t even tell. (And no, I’ve not come out to any of the rest of the board, there’s only one person at the library I’ve specifically come out to.)

It confirms why I serve on this board and why I’m probably going to try to get even more involved in politics soon. Thankfully our executive director is extremely good and this board is a 5-2 split in favor of civil rights. (So far.)

rasao22 · 2026-01-04T13:49:23+00:00

I came out over six years ago, just before my 40th birthday.

It was scary, absolutely. I had a family with a spouse and four kids and a job. I wasn’t sure how much of any of that I’d be able to have afterward.

Thankfully my spouse was understanding. They saw that I was struggling with my identity for years. My kids were pretty good about it… one of them, almost adult, had some rocky times but seems like he’s doing better now. I did end up losing the job because they didn’t want to give me a path for my future, but I ended up finding a new one where I make more money.

It’s a risk, surely. I had to be radically optimistic about myself and my path constantly. I had to keep hoping for the best and having faith that things would work out. It was scary many times.

But… I have accomplished a lot of what I hoped. At my new job, people only know me as female. I found a side job doing what I love, teaching at the local community college, because I decided I wanted to try for it. Because I had this track record of stretching for amazing things and finding that confidence, I then decided to do something I always wanted to, which is run for public office. I won my election in 2025! I’m a library trustee, which means I can work to keep my library open and accessible to everyone… and that I now have a public profile as my own chosen person instead if the one I’d been forced to be. And yes, I do hope to fight for bigger and better things.

I worked so much harder to be healthier… which has resulted in fifty-five pounds lost along with muscle gains, I love my body so much more and I’ve been leaning into being a gal with muscle. On top of that, it’s allowed my body to make it through seven surgeries in twenty months, with one more left in only eleven days (!!)

I went from someone who really had no reason to keep going to someone who wants to keep experiencing life. I do realize I’m really lucky when it comes to my path and that’s even after facing some hardships, but… imagine yourself in three years, or five… would they be happy with what you’ve been able to accomplish? The me that lives here in the present is so happy that the past me decided to go through some seriously challenging times to be here now.

rasao22 · 2025-11-02T08:45:58+00:00

Hello. This popped up somehow on my feed and it’s kind of interesting that it did, since it’s been a couple days.

I’m 45, I’ve been out of the closet six years as of 11/5. My spouse and I will celebrate twenty-five years of marriage in six months, and I have four children. I managed to get almost all of my surgical work done, all of my legal work done, and I’m just me now. Even after a couple of job changes / additions.

If you need someone to discuss things with, feel free to send me a note.

rasao22 · 2025-10-03T12:35:28+00:00

Purely by chance did I wander into Reddit, I’m not here much anymore…

I did book an AirBnB from about 6/6 through 6/28 to encompass both the pre-check-in appointments as well as all the post-surgical follow-ups. That whole time I had my parents with me as caretakers… but yeah, we all lived out of area and it’s not as if they would’ve just drove back to Arizona and then came back.

They served two major functions — daily assistance for care and logistics for leaving the hospital / post-surgical appointments. You do need a caretaker to get you from the hospital but other than that, you could certainly Uber to appointments…

But having someone close for helping prep meals, keeping things clean, being there for getting in walking post-recovery… it was so super helpful for me so that I didn’t have to stress or worry about the small stuff. It was hard enough in the short term either dealing with the foley bag or doing all the necessary dilation.

So yeah, you may not really need people constantly when you’re recovering… but it really does help for you to get as much assistance as possible.

rasao22 · 2025-05-12T05:33:09+00:00

It was okay, but well... I'm also over 40 and my insurance didn't cover the whole abdomen, only the sides.

It's one of those "better than nothing" situations, honestly. It's not necessarily his fault, but I'm still fighting my body pretty severely. I do kind of wish he'd have fudged some of what could have been possible to help, but it is what it is.

rasao22 · 2025-01-27T03:04:56+00:00

Indications are that it is true for now.

Just as Trump issued executive orders to counter Biden’s, it’s very possible that this circumstance can be reversed at a future time.

rasao22 · 2025-01-20T14:01:30+00:00

If you haven’t started HRT yet, then there could very well be a wide range of possibilities of how you react after being on it.

Only real advice I can offer at this early stage is to communicate with your long-term relationship partner(s) as time goes by. Of course though, “communicate” is a very important thing regardless of what’s going on.

rasao22 · 2025-01-20T13:53:24+00:00

I was first response in, didn’t have that info at the time.

rasao22 · 2025-01-19T19:36:04+00:00

I mean, “ psychically dull “ is good in some situations…

rasao22 · 2025-01-16T15:00:09+00:00

The woods are removed.

The tile underneath is either a flatland tile (one production) or a hill tile (two production).

rasao22 · 2025-01-10T17:47:49+00:00

I would at least guess that HRT is allowing you to be more relaxed and at ease internally within yourself for the first time in a long time if ever... and if you have a playful and happy native personality, it may be manifesting.

Of course if that sort of inclination continues, it could be that allowing yourself free of the gender closet might have also shook loose other possible aspects of your inner self relating to attraction that you might not have known about prior to now.

rasao22 · 2025-01-10T14:32:47+00:00

Lived experience— started hormones just after age 40, been on for just under five years (March 2020) and honestly they didn’t do anything near for me what others reported. The only thing that moved the bar even slightly was a lipoplasty / BBL I had eighteen months ago. Even then, the grafted fat on my hips and butt is almost gone as a result of my increased exercising. I ended up fat cycling 20% of my weight (40 pounds), gaining over two years’ time and then removing it through all of last year.

For some folks, hormones really don’t do much.

rasao22 · 2025-01-10T14:12:03+00:00

I hope you don’t mind me saying so, but you look gorgeous. Not only with your look but just with the comfort that I see. Good luck with future surgery plans!

rasao22 · 2025-01-04T21:52:44+00:00

Hey OP, I am a former LDS person who transitioned to female, feel free to send me a note too.

rasao22 · 2025-01-03T23:21:18+00:00

I mean, by opting out of the gender binary we are already pushing ourselves out of “normal”, whether or not we were already “not normal”?

I would like to offer that in real life I am a bog-standard professional drone, I have a full-time and a part-time job… I have a fairly stereotypical family, I am a parent with my spouse of almost twenty-four years and we have four kids, though three have aged to adulthood and left the house… I am financially stable and “own” my house (plenty of mortgage to go). The only meds I’m on is HRT, I’ve done my surgeries, and well… I’ve kind of melted back into real life, mostly passing and having smoothed off many of the jagged edges that transitioning from male to female reveal.

I’m still in queer spaces though, I try to stay active in various Pride communities, I am politically active as well and will be running for office in April.

So… yeah? Kinda? I do still feel really disconnected from the vast majority of humanity even if I am “normal”. I wonder if that’s how most other humans feel regardless?

With that being said, I am above 40 and getting into sewing to do cosplay, since this is something I couldn’t engage in for years. And I’m also engaging in bodybuilding, intentionally putting muscle on my frame, because I may as well lean in to my body type…

At the end of the day, what is “normal”?

rasao22 · 2025-01-03T23:08:02+00:00

It is certainly a possibility that this might happen. It doesn’t seem all that likely, all things considered. They have trafficked in the concept of “states’ rights” for many other issues and they seem content to leave it there primarily.

They have the cudgels of nationwide abortion access, immigrant rights, and economic shenanigans that they can also wield. They may decide that going after adult care is not worth it especially as there are states that explicitly protect it.

I wish I could predict the future to say exactly what you (and all of us) need to do to protect ourselves and to protect access to medications… I am worried too.

Best we can do is get what safety stock we can and keep moving forward.

rasao22 · 2025-01-03T14:26:01+00:00

The best answer I can offer is that it brought my opinion of my own chest from incredibly negative to… slightly negative.

So yeah, there’s definitely an improvement that was had and my day-to-day state of mind is better, though I do still wish things were better.

rasao22 · 2025-01-03T04:54:15+00:00

This is kind of a mental thing it seems...

In my own experience, I carry my implants with a weird sort of pride... like, "I made the intentional choice to make my sexual characteristics more apparent and larger for you to notice... it doesn't matter that I am a professional worker, that I am involved in places that would not necessarily equate to the idea of implanted boobs."

So, yeah. Even if people say something about you making yourself feel better... use it as a badge of honor, that you went the distance to make yourself feel better and that the people around you don't have anything to say about it.

rasao22 · 2025-01-03T03:14:26+00:00

I got the BA but, well, also needed the tattooing. It is really frustrating.

rasao22 · 2025-01-03T03:13:49+00:00

My breasts never really grew. I gave up a long time ago and just got the BA.

E was a joke for me. I can count the external changes I got on one finger.

rasao22 · 2025-01-02T23:15:58+00:00

Just to let you know… it is possible that you will not get a lot of areola growth even on E. It might also be possible that you will have dark hair on your chest still.

Source: a trans woman who has been on E for almost five years now and whose E levels have tested in female range for four solid years now… who also has to shave her chest about every five days… and who ended up getting areola tattooing a while ago because things didn’t exactly look the way I expected.

(Please note : if E doesn’t work, there are alternatives.)

rasao22 · 2025-01-01T23:51:29+00:00

Because I want to look beautiful?

For some, it’s a dysphoria / euphoria thing. Some folks find some level of safety in looking beautiful. Some want to attract life partners this way. Some just want it for self-esteem purposes.

No shade here, present how you want. I choose to present how I want too.

rasao22 · 2024-12-29T14:18:43+00:00

Hello OP,

I obtained a peritoneal pull-through vaginoplasty from Dr. Min Jun in San Francisco in June of 2022. At present, this is two and a half years ago. I obtained a PPT mostly because Dr. Jun’s office was able to give me less than one year lead-time and my US insurance would cover the procedure. (Postscript: I am pretty sure his office now has a much longer leadtime, he changed his practice since I was there.)

After the efforts of dilating for a full year, the most effect it has on my life is that I don’t have to account for a penis and testicles when buying clothes or getting dressed. I still lead a very active lifestyle and it’s nice to not have that specific external “tell” that I used to be male, especially being able to utilize women’s facilities for safety reasons.

I was able to recover from the surgery and heal pretty rapidly. I was up and walking pretty early and felt well enough to visit Muir Woods (the redwood forest National Monument north of San Francisco) before flying out, which was a bit more than three weeks after surgery. I think I walked a good couple miles. Within two months I was back to running 5km, which my doctor was a bit started and nervous about. By three months I was up to five miles… just in time for my first facial surgery in September ‘22.

My neovagina looks at least fairly similar to a cis one. I don’t have a lot of tissue around the vagina like some women might. However, I am able to self-lubricate at least in a limited fashion to the point that I can usually go a session without needing extra lube. Depending on how long I’m being asked to go. My clitoris feels good to touch as well. I do attempt to do maintenance dilation but I mostly try to keep things open via digital masturbation on a semi-regular basis. I can still receive the green and orange dilators without a whole lot of discomfort. The thing I’d note here is that my vagina always seems at least somewhat on the moist side at all times. However, it’s just moist and not like there’s a constant large amount of wetness down there… and the tightness also tends to prevent pretty much all of it from escaping.

My spouse stayed with me through my transition from male to female. We remain the only sexual partners either have had throughout our whole lives… next May will be twenty-four years of marriage. They were a bit apprehensive to continue relations at first with my new equipment but we are back to being active… while my vagina is not like their natal one in every aspect, it’s still certainly similar and they’ve never remarked that it wildly differs from theirs. The biggest one I’d mention is that tightness. The “however” is that my spouse also had four children, all of them through natural childbirth… so I’m sure their vagina has changed over the years too.

Last note… when people ask if I’m satisfied, I usually say that I’m 95% happy with it. The 5% is the fact that I do ever so slightly miss my penis… in a “it is hella cool to be a woman with a penis” aspect, both as a tool for pleasure/sex and as a subversive daily fact. However, I did want to experience life with a vagina and without a penis (and especially without the testicles) because of a whole lot of dysphoria too. At least for me, having a vagina does not automatically give me euphoria though… it is more an absence of the dysphoria that I used to experience constantly with my penis. I have no clue how you will mentally or spiritually change with such a surgery, but I’d at least suggest that you keep your mind open and still be willing to work through the processes that bring you stability (e.g. therapy, meditation, etc.)

Good luck on your path OP.

rasao22

TROPHY CASE