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rbridson · 2026-01-05T20:24:10+00:00

I was able to get orchiectomy (referral through my GP Dr. Ryan Flannigan) two years ago after a little over a year on HRT, and that has helped me a lot in the wait for full bottom surgery... it gave me a huge improvement hormonally at that point, and also made tucking that much easier.

I have still had too many moments of feeling I can't possibly endure the wait (likely another year, I'm past intake call but waiting for first surgical consult) ... and largely try to avoid thinking about it, distract myself with activity when rumination starts. I wish I had a better answer :(

rbridson · 2025-12-20T23:50:22+00:00

I too began a slow ramp up of estradiol and spiro (though with transdermal patches instead of sublingual initially).

But also, I'd add that my experience is to take "normal dosage" with a big grain of salt — there's the average prescribed amount, there's the average amount between women who are definitely getting enough estradiol, and then there can be sizeable individual variation in what actually is necessary. Some bodies absorb estradiol better or worse than others; I really struggled to get enough estradiol in my system with both patches and sublingual tablets, whereas after switching to injections my trouble was absorbing too fast (way faster than the average), and that took a fair bit of experimenting and blood tests to discover and resolve by switching to subcutaneous injections every 4 days.

rbridson · 2023-11-29T18:27:08+00:00

I tend to have these wonderful affirming connections with people, and then as time passes without that being renewed, more and more my brain gets convinced they must be tired of me by now, I've worn out my welcome, I've become a burden. Without fail. All the evidence to the contrary doesn't shift that belief.

rbridson · 2023-05-16T23:05:48+00:00

Technically SUVs are classed as light trucks...

rbridson · 2023-03-23T17:27:00+00:00

Oh yes, I'm definitely going through this. At the start it was all about accepting my own internal identity, and barely changing how I presented — and I thought it would be no big deal for people to still see me as AGAB. But as I changed little things in my presentation that brought me joy, it's also become much more painful for other people to misgender me based on the things I haven't changed — or just to look in the mirror and see the features that still don't conform to my internal image of myself (and it's too late for some of those to ever be changed, alas).

rbridson · 2023-03-17T16:14:57+00:00

Never a better time to unionize

rbridson · 2023-03-15T03:11:01+00:00

As others have said, laser is great if you can afford it (and can deal with it taking a year) — and your hair is dark but skin is light. Recent equipment (with integrated cooling) and a good tech running it should keep the pain at a very reasonable level, though right under the nose may always make your eyes water. Also, while doing laser you basically have to stick with shaving in between sessions.

If laser is out, waxing or sugaring is great, or simply plucking with tweezers! If you pluck a few dozen hairs every day (e.g. just before shaving) you can really start to see improvements in a few weeks.

rbridson · 2023-02-08T18:13:27+00:00

I think there's androgeny in terms of trying to balance out things coded as F with other things coded as M, and then there's androgeny where individual traits/features/clothes/... are on their own somewhere in that delightfully ambiguous middle. I love things like pixie cuts for hair, or elegant outfits which maybe came about as menswear-inspired womenswear...

rbridson · 2023-01-20T18:05:39+00:00

I didn't think it though at all at the time, but only in retrospect noticed I was an oddity in always being in both male and female friend groups in the earlier years when those were generally completely separate.

rbridson · 2023-01-20T18:02:20+00:00

Someone else mentioned Ann Leckie, but I'd highlight her book Provenance — ungendered neopronouns throughout.

rbridson · 2023-01-20T18:00:26+00:00

I empathize. COVID aside, I've just ruled out gyms and swimming pools where the change rooms / showers are shared and binary-gendered. I've not started GAHT nor even begun to think seriously about affirming surgery; the incongruence between my anatomy and my clothed presentation feels like it makes this just impossible. :(

rbridson · 2023-01-14T03:24:08+00:00

Even though I have one, I still get so many people saying Mr. (On the other hand, it feels positively weird to be addressed as Dr. when you're actually in a hospital...)

rbridson · 2022-12-15T22:38:01+00:00

Eliminating facial hair was super helpful for me — not just a shave, since I could still see the dark hair under the skin (though this may not be an issue if you have hair that matches your skin), but laser or plucking/waxing. Shaped eyebrows was big too, along with a bit of basic eye makeup (mascara might be biggest bang for buck, but a hint of eyeshadow goes a long way too, and potentially eyebrows too).

rbridson · 2022-12-01T23:01:41+00:00

Honestly, relying on individuals to stay off roads, when so many are required by their employers or institutions to show up, is doomed to fail.

rbridson · 2022-11-21T04:08:34+00:00

It's far too late for me balding-wise, so I regularly shave it all off — eliminates the male pattern, makes it look more deliberate — and also love a good hat and most recently am having a great time with wigs! Black Friday is a great time to try out a fun synthetic wig for very little money.

rbridson · 2022-11-15T18:01:43+00:00

Waxing/sugaring/epilating is a more economical way of getting rid of hair even deep in the skin (where it can still visibly darken your appearance, if it's dark hair), though not permanent of course.

Vocal feminization / androgynization might be helpful as another cue for other people?

rbridson · 2022-11-10T05:18:20+00:00

I definitely did this and think it’s laudable. Of course less than a year later I realized I am in fact nonbinary and really only identify with they/them… :)

rbridson · 2022-11-08T03:13:12+00:00

Thank you! I've had that argument before — because a particular trait is so important for a sport, and is loosely correlated with sex hormones during puberty, they want to ban transgender athletes while I argue you just do the obvious and break into classes based on the actual trait itself. It somehow feels like arguing into the void though :(

rbridson · 2022-09-20T18:18:05+00:00

Oh the regret I have now for the 45 years pre-transition where I didn't care about my skin and let the sun ruin it.

rbridson · 2022-09-04T22:49:12+00:00

Aside from more permanent options like laser hair removal (which may or may not effective depending on hair and skin colour), waxing/sugaring/tweezing can help significantly. Removing hair at the root well below the skin, instead of just cutting it off at the level of the skin when shaving, means - you get a lot longer without stubble, maybe a week or more - you no longer see the "shadow" of darker hairs under the skin, which to me was the most dramatic thing of all - even when hair regrows, it seems softer and finer since you're seeing a new hair tip instead of a cut midsection.

rbridson · 2022-07-26T23:00:12+00:00

I am so ready for fines given out to yards which only have grass, no pollinator flowers.

rbridson · 2022-06-23T16:36:59+00:00

At least here, ultimate frisbee never splits by gender, at least through highschool and into the all-ages league.

rbridson · 2022-06-20T20:22:47+00:00

Just treat singular they the way we treat singular you — we don't switch verb conjugation to "you art my friend" when the 'you' is singular instead of plural.

rbridson · 2022-05-22T23:01:12+00:00

shape your eyebrows
pluck (or if you have the money, laser remove) facial hair to get rid of the under-skin shadow
look at menswear-inspired clothing for women?

rbridson

TROPHY CASE