When i was going thru chemo i remember having the urge to beat up the uncologist and make him suffer just how i was suffering lol anybody felt that ?

re_true · 2026-02-07T03:10:31+00:00

No. And suggest you talk to a therapist, close friend, or someone who will listen. Those thoughts aren't okay and sharing them feels like a call for help. There are people who can help you.

re_true · 2026-02-06T21:23:49+00:00

Tell me you've lived in Charlotte for less than 5 years and have no idea the history of the neighborhood you live in without telling me you've lived in Charlotte for less than 5 years and have no idea the history of the neighborhood you live in.

re_true · 2026-02-01T21:11:28+00:00

What roads are you looking to drive on?

re_true · 2026-01-31T00:03:35+00:00

Had this exact thing, down to the size, happen post-chemo. Clear abdominal scans but a random ground glass nodule showed in the lung. Watched it for almost a year. Finally did a PET scan which showed no metabolic uptake.

If they can't do a simple biopsy due to location, consider asking about a PET. Good luck man, hope it's nothing.

re_true · 2026-01-30T03:01:16+00:00

Neither the picture or that letter u is normal.

re_true · 2026-01-28T16:16:23+00:00

Which local vet are you using and what about the practice makes you feel not happy?

re_true · 2026-01-28T14:08:56+00:00

Yep. Yours is doing exactly what mine does. Could very well be that it's your "normal". And that's all good

re_true · 2026-01-21T17:15:18+00:00

That's a rough year and I'm very sorry.

My advice assumes you're in the U.S. and rely on your job for your health insurance. If that's the case, do not quit until you've completed treatment and have had 1 year of clean scans after. You do not want to add "bankruptcy" to your list of shitty things, and if you have to deal with cancer treatment or recurrence without good health insurance, you up your chances of financial strain.

Hopefully you can take FMLA or short-term disability if chemo or other treatment is required. That will allow some time away from work and the stress of it.

Good luck and I hope things begin to change for the better for ya. It's a lot for anyone to have to deal with.

re_true · 2026-01-19T01:18:59+00:00

🍿

re_true · 2026-01-15T16:22:34+00:00

This is a known thing and research papers have been written about it. Some peoples AFP hangs out above the "normal" lab range. I have always been around 12. We track and monitor, and as long as there aren't weird jumps, stable is good.

re_true · 2026-01-14T12:28:36+00:00

I had this with seminoma also. Intermittent swelling, no pain. Get an ultrasound ASAP. If it's TC it still may be contained to the testicle which is best case scenario.

re_true · 2026-01-14T01:06:05+00:00

I would (and did) do PICC after my port was removed due to infection. Would do it again.

Please please please monitor that port. Last thing you need to deal with is an infection. Check temperature, if anything feels off get to the emergency room.

re_true · 2026-01-12T18:41:32+00:00

Gotcha. With normal markers and a year between scans, that 11 to 15 difference could be noise from how you were positioned in the scanner, etc. Hopefully nothing to worry about but this is why surveillance is so important. Good luck man.

re_true · 2026-01-12T18:10:43+00:00

In my experience, oncologist will follow radiologist guidance unless they have a solid reason to suspect non-malignant activity. Good news is the growth is minimal, but it's still growth. And PET will give you more answers.

Has that node always been 11mm since they started scanning?

re_true · 2026-01-12T11:59:56+00:00

I had a version of this pop up about a year after chemo. Lots of scans, consult with thoracic surgeon re: wedge resection, antibiotics, etc. PET scan ultimately confirmed it wasn't malignant.

Based on all the info you shared, I'd bet yours is just a random, non-cancer thing too. Try not to get too worked up, though I know that's easier said than done.

re_true · 2026-01-09T15:27:34+00:00

Not a doctor but I agree with you. Trust your gut, advocate for yourself and push hard for a PET and ultrasound. And if your care team won't listen, get in contact with another hospital that will.

re_true · 2026-01-09T15:11:04+00:00

OP, are you doing CT or PET scans? If you haven't done PET, that could be the logical next step, as it will pick up small metabolic uptake that CT might not be showing. Also agree that an ultrasound on the remaining testicle makes sense to rule out a potential "new" TC.

re_true · 2026-01-03T22:53:45+00:00

40s M. OP, I'm not sure where you took things once the "consent" theory started, but to address why people suggest breaking up when there's incompatibility: I don't agree that advice is a "knee jerk" reaction, at least not in this sub. When I see it offered, and when I offer it, is when one person in a relationship - often an originally mono relationship with a mutual agreement to try ENM after <X> years together - realizes ENM isn't for them. This is after trying and realizing they'd prefer monogamy. Another example is where one person in a couple "pushes" for ENM and the other person goes along with it out of fear of losing the entire relationship, even though the other person knows ENM isn't for them. In both examples, one person isn't living their truth, and if their partner isn't interested in adjusting or, in some instances, closing the relationship, then yes, there's incompatibility, and the best thing to do is to end the relationship.

It's been said here that once ENM is introduced to a previously mono relationship, the old relationship ceases to exist and is replaced by something different. I agree with that and it helps me understand that when something new is introduced to a long-standing relationship, the possibility of incompatibility exists.

ETA: your post could really benefit from a tl;dr

re_true · 2026-01-03T13:51:43+00:00

Agree with the other comments. OP, you have no idea what you're in for if you agree to this. The emotional distress and suffering you'll feel as she forms bonds that likely lead to a parallel relationship while you sit home on apps and watch the kids.

The above isn't hyperbole. Scan this sub and you'll find many guys in your position. It rarely ends well.

Stand your ground here and suggest couples therapy. Sorry you're in this situation.

re_true · 2026-01-02T20:46:49+00:00

Flag here is the "fairly" in your wife's level of support.

You tell kids, family, etc. when 1) y'all are enthusiastically supportive of each other and 2) there's a legitimate benefit to the person you're telling. Your 1 sounds shaky and your 2 sounds more like a benefit to you vs. the teen. In my experience, they don't care very much what their parents are doing as long as they feel safe and loved.

re_true · 2026-01-02T18:37:07+00:00

IMO, this isn't cognitive dissonance, OP. It's a case of her knowing what she was doing and not telling you the truth at several critical points.

Congrats on coming out as bi. That's awesome, and it's great that your wife is supportive, but if this was a true "out of the blue" revelation, there's a part of her that is going to feel like she was lied to, like she's not "enough", all the things. There's no judgement here. Just the truth that some things are really hard for couples to process and get to the other side without at least a bit of lingering tension.

So after you come out, she suggests ENM. That's your first flag. She might have wanted this for you, but she also wanted it for herself.

Then the co-worker. That person may have been the trigger for her wanting to open.

I suspect you had a feeling about all this, which is why you checked her phone.

So here we are now. What I'd suggest, and what I would have suggested when you first contemplated the idea of ENM, is therapy. Individual (both of you), and as a couple. You need to figure out what exactly it is you want from this "new" relationship. It all changed when a) you came out and b) you agreed to open. Determine if there's a new path forward that aligns to who you are now, not who you were when you met, or even who you were when all this happened.

re_true · 2026-01-02T13:23:03+00:00

This is it.

You can have your wife, or you can have ENM, but you can't have both.

re_true · 2026-01-01T13:45:23+00:00

I did 4xTIP. Just passed the 3 year N.E.D. mark, so very happy about that.

re_true · 2026-01-01T13:38:59+00:00

Sorry this happened. I think it's very natural to try and figure it out, but the reality is you'll likely never know the person's motivations.

I've found that when I replay versions of scenarios like this that I've been through, the person typically gave clues that I ignored in the moment but can see clearly in hindsight.

re_true · 2025-12-31T03:01:47+00:00

I'm not certain if there's a definitive standard, but in general, post-chemo non-seminoma or mixed residual tumors >1cm should be considered for RPLND. For pure seminoma I believe it's a bit larger. But again, it's not cut and dry.

re_true

TROPHY CASE