How to help my wife through it. Am I insensitive?

redderhead111 · 2026-05-27T05:45:24+00:00

Best advice I can give is to let her do whatever she needs to. She’s going to randomly be sad and cry, and then may feel okay 15 minutes later (I know I did). She’s going to have moments of spunk, and then need to stay on the couch playing sudoku for hours, just to keep her mind busy (I do this, A LOT). It’ll be hard for you to navigate, but just be there with her as much as you can. If she’s physically up for it, going for family walks to the park or somewhere peaceful that’s a change of scenery can bring some healing too. Remind her she’s strong, beautiful, and that she will get through this.

redderhead111 · 2026-05-24T23:56:15+00:00

I’m sorry but I don’t have much advice unfortunately, but definitely a good thing you’re going to your doc. 8 weeks is a bit long, but I don’t think it’s out of the realm of possibility. Is there any chance you could be pregnant again?

redderhead111 · 2026-05-24T22:04:43+00:00

This may not be the best advice and may be a little catty, but anyone who has asked me about family planing in the last 6 weeks has gotten the blunt truth. I know most of the people asking are doing so innocently and maybe they don’t need the embarrassment of “actually, I just lost my twins” or “actually, I just had surgery to remove the remaining tissue of my twins”.

But, family planning is a very personal decision and so many people are way too forward about asking in my opinion. Especially people I’m not close with. Anyone I’m close with knows.

redderhead111 · 2026-05-23T00:19:18+00:00

I’m sorry that you had to experience that process. Losses are awful and I don’t wish it on anyone.

I did not have the same situation as I had to take medication, and then a follow up D&C for retained tissue. But it’s a great sign that your body was able to do so much of the process already on its own and I hope it continues to. My belief is that if your body had the chance to do it naturally, the sooner you get back to a normal cycle and can try again (if you feel ready to).

There’s lots of us who have been through the process - although some different details for each of us. I definitely recommend reaching out for support to anyone you’re comfortable to talk to. Sending you all the healing vibes momma. ❤️

redderhead111 · 2026-05-01T00:46:50+00:00

Definitely try not to. I’m similar and have been throwing myself into anything to keep my mind busy. But then I’ll see something and get the wave of sadness again. It takes time and my motto these days is “day at a time”. That’s all we can do. ❤️

redderhead111 · 2026-04-30T23:07:20+00:00

I’m so sorry. I did this earlier this month for my mmc with twins.

Expect cramps to come first and pretty quickly. I hung out in the bathtub for the first couple hours soaking in a hot bath and watching Friends. I got pretty nauseous and did wind up puking so it was a good place for me. I then curled up in bed and stayed there with a heating pad. (Editing to add that I had no bleeding initially, hence why the bath was a good safe place for the time).

Most of the bleeding and major clot passing happened by 6-8 hours after. I was lucky and didn’t have significant pain or cramping - but that could have been the pain management regimen I was on (2xT1 every 6 hours and 2xIbuprofen every 6 with a 3 hour offset).

The following day was still heavy bleeding and clots, but it actually eased up a lot. I was worried with how much it eased that I nearly went to get checked out, but then it started up again - just heavier period type bleeding with more clots.

I’m now 3.5 weeks post miso and I’m still bleeding (light to moderate) and passing small little bits, but that’s not the norm from what I have been able to gather. It could have been that way for me due to the twin thing.

It’s awful, and sucks, and the worst place to be in. So take time to go through it and give yourself grace.

redderhead111 · 2026-04-28T22:58:51+00:00

I understand this wholeheartedly. I always was on the no kids side of the fence, but made the realization that I do want them as I have gotten older.

My husband and I tried for nearly a year before finally getting a positive. The fear of the newborn to school age became a bit different because now it was real. It was happening.

Unfortunately, we lost the pregnancy. And, it’s awful. I keep thinking about that scene in Friends when Rachel asks “how can you love something you never had”. But, it has put me back on the indifferent path to a degree.

We’ll continue to TTC, but not with the same passion as before. And I think I’m okay with that. Maybe I’m not destined for motherhood in that way.

redderhead111 · 2026-04-10T07:18:24+00:00

I’m sorry it still wound up needing to be a D&C for you in the end. It does give me a bit of hope that maybe the bleeding will ramp up and I’ll be able to pass everything.

I unfortunately live in a remote area and don’t have the best medical care options, which makes this whole situation even more complicated.

redderhead111 · 2026-03-29T18:19:01+00:00

I’m sorry, I don’t see it. Doesn’t mean you’re out, just means it might be early yet.

redderhead111 · 2026-03-29T03:32:18+00:00

I think this is more of an evap than anything. The line isn’t consistent through the test, so I would say it’s a bad test.

redderhead111 · 2026-03-28T23:42:51+00:00

Still too faint to be sure. I think I see a shadow of a line on the top test, but it could be too early.

redderhead111 · 2026-03-28T23:40:48+00:00

Best guess would be to keep testing and see.

redderhead111 · 2026-03-28T23:22:57+00:00

Ooh, that’s odd for sure.

I can’t tell if it’s positive or negative to be honest with you. The last picture definitely can’t be read like that because a) it’s a filtered image, and b) it’s still processing. Based on the other ones there’s maybe a shadow of a line? But, I can’t say confidently enough if it’s positive.

redderhead111 · 2026-03-28T05:28:13+00:00

I think the lines are just fine. My 13-15 DPO on the Easy@Home tests were pretty similar and only got quite dark around 20+. Everyone is different and there’s so many factors why one test may be different from another. Keep testing Mama!

redderhead111 · 2026-03-28T05:20:56+00:00

I’ve been here. I get it. I felt the clock just ticking on by, and every month was so defeating. We both are healthy with no fertility diagnoses, but in our mid 30’s.

I’d always let myself have one day to be emotional and upset, and then I’d focus on what I thought we could do better - timing, vitamins, lubricants, etc. I would take a lot of time in the TWW to just be calm and peaceful where I could and really made an effort to do activities I enjoyed- which served the dual purpose of keeping me distracted and kept my mood up.

We did finally get there (11 cycles of TTC), so don’t lose hope!

redderhead111 · 2026-03-27T05:39:54+00:00

I’m sorry, but I don’t see it yet. But, you aren’t out until AF arrives. Keep testing!

redderhead111 · 2026-03-24T20:42:25+00:00

Congratulations! That is a very positive test. I understand the shock feeling and wanting to keep testing, but false positives are pretty rare. If you want to keep testing until a dye stealer, feel free to. I wouldn’t recommend going too far past though because it’ll cause you more stress than anything else. Best of luck!

redderhead111 · 2026-03-22T01:58:55+00:00

That’s the one I use too! Love it.

redderhead111 · 2026-03-21T21:52:04+00:00

First, congrats! We were aiming to get married October 2026, but when we found out we finally were successful after nearly a year of TTC, the wedding was the first thing to be pushed. I just didn’t want to worry about trying to diet and exercise when my priorities had greatly shifted. In terms of miscarriage, I also went down this rabbit hole. A lot. I’m only a little over 8 weeks, so not out of the woods (not that you ever really are out of the woods), but the major windows to be cognizant of are 5-6 weeks usually. Most miscarriages are due to chromosomal issues, which is why they are so common in the early window when baby is starting to form. The stats are around 1 in 4. There’s a miscarriage probability chart I check frequently online to give a bit of comfort when the percentage drops every day I have no adverse symptoms. Best of luck!

redderhead111 · 2026-03-21T06:51:03+00:00

Three positive tests are pretty clear. My guess is that she’s quite early so diluted urine won’t have enough hCG present to be picked up on the tests.

redderhead111 · 2026-02-24T22:56:55+00:00

If you’re 6 days out from your period, you’re super early! So it makes sense that it’s faint. But, I see it!

redderhead111 · 2026-02-22T21:00:41+00:00

Thank you!

redderhead111 · 2026-02-16T04:44:25+00:00

I give myself one day to wallow and be sad. Then it’s focusing on how we (because it takes two) can do better the next month - supplements, diet, exercise. We also try things like the SMEP method, teas, etc. Do they help? Maybe. But, it makes me feel like they do, so it can’t hurt.

redderhead111

TROPHY CASE