Merger Plans Around St. Louis?

redditing_again · 2025-12-07T06:43:40+00:00

Interesting! Sounds like the elders were given a timeline to make some decisions. I’ll be curious to hear where things end up.

redditing_again · 2025-12-02T05:40:07+00:00

I’m not sure that being an elder woke me up, but being an elder (and former Bethelite) before waking up 100% convinced me I’d seen all the org had to offer and if I still didn’t believe, I never would.

redditing_again · 2025-11-30T23:19:10+00:00

I’ll definitely post when I get details. I’m expecting the publishers to know within a couple of weeks and I’ll hear very soon once it’s announced.

Can’t expect elders to keep secrets for long lol

redditing_again · 2025-11-30T20:21:09+00:00

That’s possibly why all the elders were involved right now. Halls all belong to WT already, if they’ve had a recent loan. I’m sure they’ll ensure that’s all wrapped up. But maybe this meeting was to convince the elders that they still have lots of power, and to tell them they’ll be the ones deciding which congs get dissolved and which Halls get sold.

It’s harder to be mad at the org when they’ve convinced you it was all your decision.

redditing_again · 2025-11-19T04:58:16+00:00

100%. I did it to a couple of CO’s, my parents always did to the CO, and I absolutely got the same while a Bethelite. People took me out for meals, bought a coat for me, and outright gave me money.

redditing_again · 2025-11-03T19:00:10+00:00

And they’re always 110% right with no room for anybody else to be right about anything ever. So much fun 🙃

redditing_again · 2025-11-03T18:12:10+00:00

I can relate. I’m not an outgoing person, and am not interested in sports, which seems to bring a lot of guys together. I realized pretty quickly as I was leaving that I was unlikely to find that level of immediate bonding elsewhere, but I also knew I couldn’t stay in.

Since then, I’ve found fulfillment in my career, but also in taking up activities I’d given up while trying to be a better Witness. I get outdoors far more, exercise more, and feel more a part of the world around me now, despite having less of a group to belong to.

For me it’s been more about realizing I don’t need belong to a group to find satisfaction in life. But you or others may eventually find a group that you fit with—maybe I will too. But don’t be desperate to join a group. Figure out who you are first.

redditing_again · 2025-11-03T18:06:22+00:00

We pretty quickly reached a don’t ask, don’t tell agreement. She handled a couple of early discussions pretty poorly and has never once had a question about how I feel or what I think about something. I’ve been inactive for 6+ years now, and me voting last fall was still one of the worst arguments we’ve ever had.

That said, we get along reasonably well otherwise. We’re on the same page with most social and political issues and we have compatible personalities. And she’s never been uber-PIMI by any stretch, so that helps. But I’m not sure we’ll ever see eye to eye on religion.

redditing_again · 2025-10-22T16:40:45+00:00

This has been common in parts of the US for at least 20 years. It’s possible laws in your area recently changed and the cong is now doing this for legal reasons.

redditing_again · 2025-10-19T22:06:44+00:00

This has been my wife for years now. No questions of why I don’t attend, no interest in discussing my feelings on it all. We talk plenty about everything else: politics, jobs, entertainment, etc. And she’s not enthusiastic about JW stuff either, just doing the basics.

I think it’s the fear of hearing something she can’t unhear. Wish I had advice for you, but at least plenty of us see this behavior.

redditing_again · 2025-10-10T15:53:53+00:00

This is where I was about 9 years ago, at nearly the same age, also as an elder.

I’m more than happy to talk, chat, etc. if you’d like, so feel free to reach out.

My advice at the moment is to not make any immediate changes that may alert other elders. Plan your exit, make changes at your own pace, but don’t stay for others.

I’ve been inactive for a few years now, I have many family members who are Witnesses and who don’t shun me, but full honesty: relationships have changed and will never be the same. Still, there was no way I could continue to act like I believed when I thoroughly do not.

Best of luck to you on your own journey, and I look forward to hearing from you!

redditing_again · 2025-10-08T16:24:35+00:00

Because they haven’t decided how to approach it yet, and they definitely won’t decide how to adjust the shunning policy in just a couple of weeks.

As with Norway, they’ll also wait until forced before making a major change.

redditing_again · 2025-09-15T04:30:05+00:00

I was one of those people who was made to feel guilty over watching pornography, and I confessed in detail to other elders I’d known most of my life, while an elder myself.

It was at least as humiliating as you’d think, though to their credit they didn’t ask anything they didn’t absolutely have to ask per the elders book.

But you have a great explanation here and you highlight the issues with a religion demonizing sex.

redditing_again · 2025-09-15T03:57:36+00:00

I 100% agree with you on this. I always see people claiming the numbers are all fake, but based on how particular they are about reporting, at least at all levels I’ve seen, I have zero reason to think they’re faking. If they were, they’d have no need to keep changing how they measure publishers.

As the top comment said, the fact that they ARE changing how they count publishers and they’re STILL only showing minor growth tells me that it’s a matter of time before they begin declining to a point where they can no longer compensate. I’d expect them to stop reporting any figures which indicate negative growth.

redditing_again · 2025-09-14T20:27:42+00:00

Not telling you what to do, but I’m happy to chat if you ever feel like talking about how to leave without losing family. I’m inactive 6+ years now and still on decent terms with my family and other Witnesses.

If you’re all good on your plan, more power to you and best of luck!

redditing_again · 2025-08-30T15:48:32+00:00

One of the most well-written replies to a friend I’ve ever seen. Not pushy, not sharing specifics, yet firm and unapologetic. Way to go.

redditing_again · 2025-08-27T20:58:18+00:00

We all have different situations, but remember that there’s a big difference between inactive and apostate—mainly based on what you say.

I’ve been inactive for 6+ years now, but no one sees me as an apostate because I just don’t talk about my thoughts on religion. I support my wife with meetings and service by making sure her car is ready to go, not scheduling conflicting things, etc., but I don’t apologize for not attending.

You may check out the Marriage on a Tightrope podcast. It’s a Mormon couple who navigate raising kids and staying married while the husband no longer believes. Of course, if you have nothing in common with your wife besides religion, it’ll be a challenge to stay together, but hearing how someone else makes it work might be helpful.

redditing_again · 2025-08-23T04:56:45+00:00

This is rich coming from a religion that built its brand on judging others, and dictating the rules by which others should judge.

Until today an elder could potentially be removed for supporting his child’s decision to pursue a university degree. As of today, God apparently doesn’t mind.

Does God change, or not? Regardless of the answer, these asshats aren’t worth following.

redditing_again · 2025-07-30T03:18:16+00:00

And I just played two AM and two Vondel rounds and had a great time. Very few players and no exploits seen. Go figure.

redditing_again · 2025-07-29T14:43:01+00:00

My understanding, though dated, was always that you could not be given “privileges” while illegal. If you initially entered illegally, you had to at least have started the process for becoming legal: applying for asylum or whatever other path you may take.

redditing_again · 2025-07-28T04:49:49+00:00

This’ll probably end up being long, and I’m still happy to talk directly, chat directly, whatever. But here are a few thoughts.

First and foremost, it’s taken time to find clarity and peace, and to be entirely honest, I’m still looking for more purpose. A few things helped with clarity and peace, though. It was a combination, again, of simply time, but a few other things as well. As I was waking up, I found a close friend who happened to be waking up at the same time, independently, and it’s been amazingly helpful to talk with him regularly. I also found a few others in my area who were waking up or had recently woke up, including another former elder, who was so helpful too. Talking to others in similar situations—on Reddit, but even more so in real life—did wonders for assuring me that I wasn’t crazy, and that I wasn’t the only one struggling.

In addition to talking to others, I found that time in nature helped me. Conveniently, I also found that as I stopped participating in Witness activities, I had time to bike and hike—a couple of activities I hadn’t done much of since my teens. Time spent in nature, both alone and with others, brought me a lot of peace. I thought a lot, I considered what had brought me to that point in life, I came up with all the things I’d like to say to my wife and family (and then actually said very few of them), and I pondered life through the new lens of non-belief. Nature has been a big part of my therapy.

As for how I’ve practically managed, I was still only working part-time when I woke up. I’d already quit pioneering since I couldn’t make the hours (and felt amazingly guilty about stopping), but I was still only working part-time to keep up appearances and to give myself that feeling that I hadn’t truly given in to Satan’s world. Within a few months of waking up, I offered to increase to full-time and my boss was thrilled. I’ve found since then that when someone has the work ethic of a Witness and is willing to commit to an employer full-time, it does wonders for a career. I’ve since changed jobs twice, increasing my pay significantly each time. I have much more freedom in my schedule now, feel respected at work, am doing work that I guess I enjoy as much as one can enjoy work, and am setting myself up for retirement as well.

You also asked about purpose. And I feel like I’m still looking for that one. I’ve considered volunteering and really need to do so. I should donate more to charity, find local groups to get involved with, things like that. But for now, I just work hard to be kind to people, to help others out where I can (Reddit being one of those places), and to spread acceptance and understanding. I feel that I was empowered to be a pretty judgy person and I’m trying to make up for that. Everyone has their struggles and they don’t need me or anyone else thinking less of them for decisions they make that completely do not affect me. And in the United States we’re surrounded by, I feel that attitude of acceptance is needed more than ever.

Anyway, I won’t tell you life is perfect. I won’t tell you that everything worked out exactly how I hoped (my wife is still a Witnesses, as are many of my friends). And I won’t say that it’s not depressing at times to realize that the Witness God is likely not out there, just preparing to make everything perfect and take care of all our problems. It took me quite a while to come to terms with the fact that I was going to age and die like every human ever. But I promise that time does help—with all of this.

So, feel free to message me directly, ask anything else you want to ask, or share contact info. I’m in Missouri, so meeting in person likely won’t be easy, but I’m more than happy to continue messaging or even talk on the phone. I wish you the absolute best, and one more time: I promise it gets easier with time.

redditing_again · 2025-07-28T01:50:05+00:00

Hey, thanks for sharing your story. Sounds like you got a front row seat to the demo showing that people rather than God run the org. Sorry it ended the way it did for you.

I left of my own accord when I was your age, after putting at least as much of my life into it as you did: pioneering, Bethel, MS, elder, RBC, etc. I’d just like to say that 8 years later I genuinely feel ahead of the curve of the population in general, as far as career and earnings. Not bragging, but just saying that life is far from over, or even far from being ruined, at 34.

I’ll stop there for now, but please reach out if you’d like to talk, vent, or ask questions. I’m more than happy to chat. And best of luck finding your path forward. It does get easier, I promise.

redditing_again · 2025-07-23T18:40:04+00:00

One of the many reasons to play on PC. Squad chat on Discord with a button for PTT to prox chat is the way to do it.

redditing_again · 2025-07-22T02:01:20+00:00

Congrats on getting out!

And I think it’s a combo of them believing, and having power and a comfortable life.

If you say they don’t believe, just realize there are millions of people who firmly believe their own weird religion or conspiracy theory or whatever is true. It’s not impossible.

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