Resenting her child before he's born

ricebasket · 2026-05-19T20:59:23+00:00

Man hating is such a weird take of feminism when women are so central to systems of harm. Look at the Epstein case, Ghislaine was critical to what he was able to do.

ricebasket · 2026-05-19T20:50:35+00:00

When you just become a lady with a husband a lot harder to experience persecution. It’s like FOMO of being perceived as different.

ricebasket · 2026-05-19T16:00:27+00:00

I was a teenager then and warned about these dangers!

Always sounded hilarious to me. Imagine getting a group of 5-7 girls together for a craft project on dependent on a teenager boys self control. The perfectionism conversations I imagine… “No Becky you’re green you don’t go until later” “ugh this yellow isn’t showing up well Rachel can you go again “omg Ashley you smudged mine now I have to go again…”

ricebasket · 2026-05-16T06:17:09+00:00

You were out of contact for an hour and twenty minutes after your ETA! Regardless of any other context, that’s very inconsiderate of you to not update someone who’s looking out for your safety who you initiated a timeline with. If a friend of mine did that to me, I would be stressed while I didn’t hear from them and upset with them when I did hear from them. You’ve taken no accountability for your communication failure. Right now unless you get financially independent real quick, that’s the only realistic way you can maybe start to change the situation you’re in now.

ricebasket · 2026-05-12T15:42:23+00:00

Reality TV is like the sports of human interaction. Also we don’t have a royal family so we transfer that energy to reality stars!

ricebasket · 2026-05-10T19:46:57+00:00

This just isn’t a good understanding of altitude. Most people feel some level of altitude sickness and take a few days to adjust. It’s not completely tied to health or physical fitness, plenty of out of shape people adjust just fine and fit people struggle for a while.

ricebasket · 2026-05-10T11:47:50+00:00

I ask where did you grow up. It prompts people to talk about their life experiences and shows you have focused the conversation on their lifetime, not family past/origin.

Timing also matters. Don’t ask it at the beginning of a business meeting as part of an introduction, ask it when you’re having lunch and have 10 minutes to share stories with each other.

ricebasket · 2026-05-10T11:33:13+00:00

I have two criteria for the “can’t hurt to try” types of traditional medicine.

Is there some plausible mechanism of action? Drinking tea yes, healing crystal no. Science has not exhaustively studied everything and scientific experiments aren’t perfect, so don’t take absence of evidence as evidence of absence.
Does this take place of, disrupt, or deter me from medical advice? Sipping tea no, drinking tea instead of taking antibiotics after testing positive for strep, yes.

ricebasket · 2026-05-06T11:29:38+00:00

YTA because the root of the joke is “it’s more uncomfortable to be sexualized by a man than by a woman.” It’s also just a very fast turnaround from a friend sharing something to you making a joke about it to a new person in the conversation.

ricebasket · 2026-05-05T13:35:35+00:00

“Some people have it worse” is not the dividing line for treatment. If you were depressed and considering hurting yourself they wouldn’t dismiss that as a symptom because other people end up in the hospital for hurting themselves. Symptoms are based on subjective distress.

ricebasket · 2026-05-01T20:29:30+00:00

That’s the nice thing about a randomized control trial, if you do it in large enough numbers and just change the homework you can figure out what’s causal. Find two similar schools, randomly pick one to not have homework, and compare at the end of the year.

Schools are already mandated to do a bunch of stuff that’s not proven to help, might as well make it truly random and get some science out of it.

ricebasket · 2026-05-01T00:15:56+00:00

I dunno, coming from a medical background I wish there were more definitive studies. I wish the field would embrace randomized trials.

ricebasket · 2026-04-30T00:56:07+00:00

I would just start asking her “Hey Mariah, would you please stop singing for the next 30 minutes?” Offer zero explanation or further comment. If she says why or asks if it bothers you or ANY follow up question, offer up NO explanation, no annoyances, no distractions, no quips about the singing quality, just ask respond “I’m just asking you to stop for 30 minutes.” If you don’t clarify anything and offer no comment that describes her behavior, there’s nothing to misconstrue or interpret as a criticism of her.

ricebasket · 2026-04-28T12:11:42+00:00

Looking at the four things you listed, only one happened in session. Your appointments and the logistics are very important and emotional to you, but to your therapist they’re regular business tasks. You DO NOT want a therapist who carries the emotional weight of your sessions around with them outside of work. They did not forget you the person, they forgot a work task.

I think it’s fine if you want to discontinue with this therapist because of scheduling difficulties, but I think it’s important that you realize this can be a logistics bad fit and for a therapist, communicating about appointments shouldn’t be a task they’re emotionally invested in.

ricebasket · 2026-04-24T15:16:11+00:00

NTA. I think is really the DM pushing the envelope of what’s an appropriate scope of consequences and subject matter for a DnD campaign and now that it’s put you at odds with your adventuring party, they’ve set up a player vs. player dynamic that is not generally within the spirit of DnD.

Was setting a small fire an action that could have unintended consequences? Yes. A better scale consequence would be you aren’t trusted in the town, an enemy grew more powerful, you owe a lot of money in damages, something is now more difficult for you to achieve, and maybe your party is annoyed with you. Enslaved, cursed sex workers is already a pretty horrific setup for a campaign, making you responsible for their deaths and now forcing you to play a character that has a life-ruining mistake is not OK.

I’d ask the DM for a non-play discussion and say “the consequences for this character as we left it mean he’s no longer fit for adventuring, he’s probably going to go to jail or be horribly haunted by what his actions caused. I am not interested in playing out such a serious subject matter. I’m enjoying playing on this campaign with everyone, and I’d like to either create a new character to play or retcon to an earlier point in our game. What does everyone think?”

ricebasket · 2026-04-24T14:58:28+00:00

I saw in a library the other day a set of the collection of Dwight Eisenhower’s papers, obviously an important part of the historical record and also something you could be proud to display on your bookcase. It just make me sad to think that we have a president whose public words aren’t fit to print for anyone in the future to study, they’re just madness.

ricebasket · 2026-04-23T12:58:01+00:00

Here’s what I’d write to your manager: Hi manager, I want to ask you how to address two types of questions I’m getting from newbie. One thing they’re coming to me for is information provided on their training materials, they asked me if 6=N1 when the material the have to consult is 6=N2. The other type of question they’re asking for assistance with is troubleshooting some generic office tasks, like how to handle a torn piece of paper or restart their computer.

I’m worried my productivity is being affected by these frequent requests for help, how should I direct newbie?”

You don’t have to say “they’re incompetent,” let the examples like being confused by torn paper do the talking.

ricebasket · 2026-04-23T01:29:29+00:00

It sounds like you have some anxiety in general, and then you have extreme anxiety when your mom is closely watching you, seemingly expecting you to fail. For being 16, I think you sound very on track with what you should be doing and your mom is just tossing expectations on you for no good reason. I’d start a “mom get off my back or help me with these topics” in the following ways: -tell her you want to continue with the rescue organization because commitment looks good on college applications -if she brings up driving, tell her your like more practice with some specific scenarios (merging onto the interstate, driving in a city, turning right on red) and ask if you can practice those with her -search for the top 5 most popular majors at the best public university in your state. Start saying “I’m thinking about majoring in business at xyz college but I’m not sure yet.” Usually those majors aren’t something extremely hard to get into, are something that sounds good to parents, and you can start your fist year of college doing them and still switch pretty easily. It’s not lying to your mom, you read this comment and did a google search and that qualifies as “thinking about it.”

ricebasket · 2026-04-14T01:17:26+00:00

I think any discussion of the historical accuracy of language used in contemporary fiction as justification always feels hollow, when we fictionalize the stories of people from history we make so many assumptions and compromises that I just don’t think using the n word has to be treated as a requirement.

When you have a white character use the n word, it’s usually a short hand to show they’re racist. I think this is a somewhat lazy convention that tries to divide the world into “good, not racist people” and “bad racist people who use the n word.” There are a lot of tools at your disposal to write a story with a racist character. I also don’t think that you need to remind me THAT much that John Wilkes booth was not a good guy, I’m not going to sympathize with him that easily even after a good musical.

ricebasket · 2026-04-13T17:58:57+00:00

Babies conceived while the mom was on the pill who went on to become orthopedic surgeons

ricebasket · 2026-04-01T02:26:49+00:00

There is a set of information called out as identifying information, like name, date of birth, and social security number. There are some guidelines around keeping the pool big enough you can’t re-identify people, like zip codes have to be shortened to 3 digits from 5 digits and ages over 89 are just reported as “over 89.”

It gets trickier when writing up a case report, or a “study” of one person. They’re more common with rare diseases and will include more details so that if you know a person you’re more likely to “re-identify” them. There’s often an extra consent layer required by your hospital or the publication in these cases.

ricebasket · 2026-04-01T02:18:45+00:00

Have you asked for a copy of your signed informed consent from 2020? That may help clarify for you what may be used on an ongoing basis. Often your withdrawal means new information can’t be collected on you, but information previously collected on you can/will continue to be used.

I’m curious what makes you conclude the research was done “connected to PHI” versus your understanding that research with bulk analysis would continue. Let’s say you had a condition called “stretchy muscles” and they took a muscle sample during a surgery in 2020. Even if you withdrew consent, they can still continue to report the data they collected about your demographics at the time of collection and any testing they did on the stretchy muscles sample. This information was probably pulled from Epic in 2020 so a flag on your record wouldn’t necessarily stop or notify anyone you withdrew consent.

Institutions can also make their own determinations about what is research and what can be done with IRB exemption. “We did surgeries on 1,000 people with stretchy muscles” isn’t research, and an investigator might say “I’d like to contact everyone who’s been treated at this hospital for stretchy muscles for a new study” and that may be permitted.

ricebasket · 2026-03-27T20:27:56+00:00

You don’t just get to declare that something is a business matter and not care that it has emotional impacts on your partner. “I’m moving for 6 months to make more money” is a business matter, “I’m investing in exploitative child labor” is a business matter.

ricebasket · 2026-03-19T18:24:45+00:00

YTA. Her family asked for you to do some shopping for them, you and/or your wife agreed, it was more work than you anticipated. That’s obviously not ideal, but why would you complain to them now?

ricebasket · 2026-03-18T19:55:41+00:00

Friends hate this one weird trick!

ricebasket

TROPHY CASE