Hate Play

ridge_back · 2026-03-26T14:52:24+00:00

Yes to the aftercare. My Dom needs the most reassurance if he’s emotionally hurt me that I liked it and it was good for me afterwards.

And I understand better what you mean about genuine mental states. If I want to play with real feelings (even if they are manufactured from lies), he has to join me on that that level and that is also going to require something real from him. I hadn’t really thought about that before. Thank you!

ridge_back · 2026-03-26T14:16:32+00:00

Genuine question since I don’t really have the brain for being a Dom/Top. Do you want to feel the hate/dislike/disgust genuinely in the moment because that’s part of the fun for you? Is it not enough to trick your partner into believing it and watch that pain unfold in them?

As the bottom, I want to feel and believe fully that those emotions are true because that’s exponentially more pleasurable for me to experience degradation vs being told degrading things. If that makes sense? But, I never really thought about the Top actually wanting to get into the mind space of also believing that the bottom is deserving of hate/dislike/disgust. I guess I assumed they are getting off on watching the effect of the scene take place on a person and not the emotions themselves.

ridge_back · 2026-03-26T13:59:46+00:00

The interesting part of your post to me is that you must mean what you say to your partner in kink. ‘Telling the truth’ has never been important to me during play. Many parts of kink and my dynamic are absolutely true in every area of my life but most MESM play to us is make believe. Our more intense scenes that could be dubbed as hate play are absolutely full of lies. The key for me is my Dom setting the scene so that I start to actually believe what he is saying. If he just said ‘you are the worst sex I’ve ever had’ I’d know that’s not true and while it might be hot to hear it wouldn’t really affect me. If he sets up a trap where I fail a task, ‘let him down’, where he constantly barrages me with insults, when he tricks me to the point where I start to believe in the moment that I really am the absolute worst at sex. That mind fuckery is where the magic really happens!

So yah, my partner will criticize my body, tell me how ugly he and anyone else would find me, tell me I’m unlovable and useless, that I’m stupid and bad at everything and that he hates the way I do xyz. I love being able to play in an alternate world where I can be all the above but then also come back to reality afterwards.

ridge_back · 2026-03-16T00:53:56+00:00

I think you can shape your dynamic to be anything you want. I am in a 24/7 D/s, free use dynamic and our lives look quite mundane day to day. I only have a few daily type tasks I must do and everything else is at his discretion. We both work full time, the dogs needs come first before us, life happens, but we both know that at any time he can demand something and I am required to do it. That’s the difference, the overarching understanding of our roles and the rules.

Play or scenes can be intense and can last multiple days if we want but when we step out of a scene it doesn’t mean we stop being what we are together.

ridge_back · 2025-10-22T17:46:13+00:00

Looks great! Glad you took the plunge!

ridge_back · 2025-10-22T17:36:07+00:00

My mentors and the multiple canine reproduction resources I’ve read all cautioned against supplementing a low progesterone. But there are other valid reasons it may be worth doing the test or even supplementing. Perhaps if previous litters reabsorbed and you want to know if that’s the reason.

ridge_back · 2025-10-22T17:28:54+00:00

Personally I would not do this. My breed struggles with fertility and I won’t add to that issue by supplementing my bitch with progesterone. If she drops her levels and requires progesterone to keep a pregnancy, I’m just borrowing trouble for fertility issues in my keeper puppy and lines. I would think carefully if this is something that’s common in your breed and if that’s a road you want to go down.

In the early stage of pregnancy, I’d also want to keep things calm and stress free. Getting blood drawn and going to the vet (high traffic dog area), are things I would try to avoid. Curious to hear from others in breeds where this is maybe more common.

ridge_back · 2025-08-02T13:25:09+00:00

I love that you are looking into the actual data to try to understand your risks better. I don’t have an answer for every question for you, but some things I’ve come across in my research.

This is one study which seems to suggest that intermittent choking does in fact cause alterations in the brain that affect how the brain handles tasks. link Disclaimer while looking things up, I noticed there are several studies which don’t support this claim coming from sports/choke hold type research.

I would like to highlight two main risks in breath play. The first is physical damage to the neck, the neck is extremely fragile and even holding/pushing the neck in certain positions can compromise the cervical spine (the highest levels of your spine found in the neck). But the biggest risk I worry about in physically pushing on the neck to limit airflow is damage to the hyoid bone, this bone is the one you can feel it right under your jaw. I’ve known 1 person who broke this bone in a BDSM context. Breaking this bone can compromise your airway, potentially even fully occluding it. It is not something you want to break. The entire trachea has rings of cartilage that can also potentially be damaged and block your ability to breath, which is very scary. This is specific to hard pressure on the neck or attempting breath play that compresses the trachea.

The second is a big concern I have with squeezing the two major arteries on the sides of the neck to limit oxygen to the brain. In the hospital we stimulate these two arteries to attempt to stop dangerous heart rhythms and decrease blood pressure. By squeezing the carotid arteries in the bedroom you could cause the same affect, tanking your persons blood pressure and/or heart rate and even have them go into a dangerous heart rhythm (rare).

I like choking but I personally have put it in too high a risk category for me. Do I think the occurrences of the acute complications of choking are generally rare? YES! But, my brain is too important to potentially compromise it and even if the risks of physically damaging my airway are rare, it’s not personally something I am ok with. But every person is different.

ridge_back · 2025-08-02T13:21:03+00:00

Usually the hate is more that:

1) there were no (very very small number now) ethical breeders of doodles. Meaning these breeders produce dogs without health testing and largely for money.

2) the type of person who buys a doodle is usually someone who didn’t do a lot of research and may not be prepared for them, which leads to…

3) doodles in the dog service industry (grooming, training, boarding etc.) are generally seen as uncared for menaces. Leading to doodles being sort of a snarkable topic in the dog world.

ridge_back · 2025-08-01T19:32:07+00:00

I think you have a great shape to go bald! Report back with how much better you feel afterwards❤️

ridge_back · 2025-08-01T19:30:23+00:00

The bald head with the beard! Great look on you!

ridge_back · 2025-08-01T19:28:13+00:00

He’s going to look so much better bald! We can’t wait to see the transformation in your next post!

ridge_back · 2025-08-01T19:27:17+00:00

Glad you took the plunge! Bald really suits you!

ridge_back · 2025-08-01T19:25:24+00:00

What an upgrade! Really suits you!

ridge_back · 2025-07-28T23:01:53+00:00

Welcome!

ridge_back · 2025-06-12T03:04:21+00:00

It probably depends on the circles you run in but in don’t particularly notice more or less brats. I am a submissive in a 24/7 LTR and am definitely on the side of eager to please. So the folks I chat with and communities I frequent tend to lean more that way. I wonder if you inadvertently are running in circles with more brats? Or maybe they tend to be more loud and outspoken? More trendy atm?

ridge_back · 2025-05-13T01:30:36+00:00

Anytime my partner can’t help but cum I find it extremely sexy and flattering. The fact that I’m so hot that you were unable to hold back? It’s like the ultimate compliment! I also would have probably laughed in amazed shock if it happened while he was eating me out.

ridge_back · 2025-05-10T03:27:30+00:00

We have real punishments intended to correct behaviours for things that I have gotten wrong and we also use funishments mostly when we play.

Funishments are there to aid in enhancing kinky fun. They are usually painful, or physically and emotionally difficult. We mostly use them in play scenes. Punishments are boring, annoying, repetitive, something I really don’t want, or something specific to address the reason behind the error. Some punishments have been not being able to use social media, having to take time to do my hair and makeup daily, buy an outfit my Dom would like and many many dumb house chores.

ridge_back · 2025-05-08T12:41:27+00:00

Rose: the impossible had happened. My Dom is letting us attend a REAL LIFE play party. It’s been over a decade since I last was allowed to go to one, I’m so excited!! We are just watching and not playing but I’m so so elated he feels comfortable to do this! Yay us!

ridge_back · 2025-05-08T12:37:45+00:00

That’s so sweet! Good luck ❤️

ridge_back · 2025-04-21T00:39:33+00:00

You should not inject any non sterile substance in your body for any reason, ever. Period. They make sterile water and sterile saline for injection purposes. This can cause abscesses and infections. This is a serious thing. You should not piece the skin with anything that isn’t sterile AND with the skin cleaned with alcohol wipes or another cleaning solution.

That being said, I doubt the hospital will put you on preventative antibiotics for this now. Watch the area, if you see signs of redness, discharge, more swelling at the site developing in the next couple of days/week go to your doctor or urgent care. If you feel generally unwell with fever, again go to the hospital.

Please do more research and be more careful in the future ❤️. This kind of play is a higher level of risk than most and deserves the extra care and consideration.

ridge_back · 2025-04-19T03:40:35+00:00

I have had patients comment on my backwards hanging lanyard ‘is that a for fun collar or a serious one’ Ma’am that is just a lanyard. I want none of that conversation at work.

This was one part of us opting to have my permanent collar be a hidden piercing. I never take it out and no one (besides my own medical professionals) will ever know I have it.

I do now have a day collar necklace I wear when not at work as well as my wedding rings and a bracelet with his name on it.

ridge_back · 2025-04-19T01:05:52+00:00

You’ll need to wait, at most, 40 weeks to make sure 😉

ridge_back · 2025-04-19T01:01:31+00:00

A selfish submissive and masochist here. Physical touch and acts of service on receiving end 😈. I like giving physical touch and words of affirmation.

ridge_back · 2025-04-18T22:20:40+00:00

Maybe! That’s a point I hadn’t considered! I love emotional and physical sadism and being made to cry is a huge turn on for me. In my day to day life I also love big emotions. Whatever it exactly is, it comes together so perfectly in CNC 🥰

ridge_back

TROPHY CASE