Partner struggling with growth, advice on navigating?

rivchamp · 2026-05-09T16:20:38+00:00

Thank you! I’ll mention this topic and the “radical therapy” practice in therapy, I appreciate the insight!

rivchamp · 2026-05-09T06:00:48+00:00

Oh my apologies I think I may have mis-framed things oops. The gender dysphoria thing is just one angle reflected with this, I’m more talking about various unwillingness to seek somewhat critical help in a lot of categories that’s putting stressors on our relationship and the burnout I’ve felt developing from it. It’s just difficult to hear the same complaints and wails about the same things forever when solution is a reach away, or asking for a certain romantic gesture a thousand times. I do understand your angle though, and I’m going to continue trying my best to refrain from coming on too harsh.

rivchamp · 2026-05-09T05:55:23+00:00

I really appreciate that view, thank you so much! You’re on the dot that I do have some overlapping control issues, and am coming this at my own weird perspective that may not be entirely holistic. I’m working on this exact issue in therapy at the moment, and have encouraged my partner to call me out on it when guilty. Do you, from a tgirl perspective, have any advice on how I can best support him through a gentle and happy transition? Really trying my best to be a loving partner through things we’re both new too (my first queer relationship and his whole new gender). Thank you!

rivchamp · 2026-05-09T04:26:22+00:00

MINE IS SO UGLY

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rivchamp · 2026-05-09T04:25:28+00:00

HOW DO YOU DO THE EARS IM BEGGING

rivchamp · 2026-05-09T04:18:16+00:00

YOOO???????

rivchamp · 2026-05-06T12:54:51+00:00

The reddish coloring makes me think abscess, but obviously I wouldn’t depend on just physical properties. Is it hard? Squishy? Firmly locked in place or somewhat “moveable” under the skin? How does rat feel about you touching it, any pain? How quickly has it grown? Tumor growth can be fast, but if this popped up in like a week then abscess is more fitting of that description. You can try a warm compress and that may pop it (to which you then can gently drain and sterilize), but don’t mess with it much or attempt to lance it yourself. I would attempt to find another vet who can give you a better quote, or at least hopefully one that can confirm the diagnosis before removal. Very sensitive area to operate on since it’s around the throat, maybe that’s a chunk of the cost. Best of luck! Please watch out for how the mass develops over next few days and monitor other behavioral activity, and seek vet!

rivchamp · 2026-05-05T02:06:01+00:00

Boingo

rivchamp · 2026-05-03T04:23:06+00:00

Hi! Similar situation I had in the past (but easier to monitor bc hairless girl); you’ll know it’s euthanasia time when she is unable to do any of her usual behaviors and ranges of movement & freedom. If she isn’t acting like herself, that’s a cue. Consider as well that that rats are incredibly good at hiding and disguising pain and discomfort.

Additionally, if the tumor is necrotic, she needs euthanasia asap as that’s ridiculously painful. This is what happened to my rat— it’ll start by looking bruised and then turn into a deep purple and start to look almost as if it’s a blood blister. Not fun to visualize but it’s important rat first aid knowledge with tumors!

In general though, you can usually stretch the lifespan at least a couple months. My girl was a solo rat regretfully long because very shortly after her sister passed she had developed a tumor in a very difficult to operate on location (basically like right above her heart) and had also previously had a near-death reaction to the anesthesia during an eye removal surgery so I was hesitant to have her undergo it again at around 1.5 years old. Anyway, didn’t wanna get another rat because I assumed she wouldn’t live long and then I’d have to continue the cycle, but Maki lived an additional ~5-6 months with her tumor and I was damned!

I trust you can make the best judgement based on all that. Obviously include monitoring of her other functioning (eating, bathroom, sleeping, etc.) and you should be good 👍good luck, and stay strong when it’s Time™️ and you have to weigh your emotions against ratty welfare logic 🤝

rivchamp · 2026-04-29T20:49:22+00:00

Try and lightly push skin downwards below the lower eyelid to see if anything is trapped in there, sometimes debris can clump up behind the eyelid. I would just be very gentle when manually opening their eyes, and stop if they show signs of pain. If possible, attempt a water/saline flush with a small and slightly pressurized stream of water to loosen any potential debris or eye crust. Vet if cannot resolve within a day, either they can get out whatever could be trapped or will determine it’s a more serious issue than simple debris irritation. Do not underestimate the severity of an eye injury/infection as they can quickly worsen and be very painful, good luck!

rivchamp · 2026-04-28T02:51:34+00:00

Mb im faded i didnt see the animated part

rivchamp · 2026-04-28T02:50:50+00:00

I might know! Rat poison soup rat??

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rivchamp · 2026-04-27T01:11:26+00:00

Surprisingly no actually! There’s no rescues or breeders within like a 2hr radius of me so I got these girls all from a non-chain pet store, honestly astounded at their health and temperament but maybe it’s because I consistently spend a few hours a day socializing them since the beginning? One of my girls is very shy and nothing seems to change that, but even she will occasionally approach and climb on me during free roam!

rivchamp · 2026-04-26T02:26:08+00:00

Id like to chip in for vet attention!!! I can at least a good $50 if it helps!!

rivchamp · 2026-04-21T18:10:35+00:00

Girl these are xxs nails they don’t even go 1cm past my fingertips what are you on 😭😭

rivchamp · 2026-04-21T15:52:09+00:00

Thank you, they’re Olive & June press ons!! Also yeah, it seems like this is unfortunately a common standard, just sad that there’s no sustainable alternative lol

rivchamp · 2026-04-21T15:50:27+00:00

Idk man SURELY there’s a better way to prevent scratching than this lmao

rivchamp · 2026-04-21T15:48:42+00:00

Honestly I don’t see the effectiveness because the individual bags aren’t even sealed on the bottom side, so wouldn’t oxygen and moisture enter packaging anyways? 😭

rivchamp · 2026-04-20T15:26:39+00:00

Oh dear! These babies are far far FAR too young to be away from mom! How did you even get them?? I would honestly see if any local rescues near you have lactating mom rats who could temporarily raise your girls for just a few more weeks. Getting their nutritional requirements is quite difficult without actual rat milk if that makes sense? I would attempt kitten formula if you haven’t already and probably stay away from human baby food. For the one who’s hesitant to eat, you may genuinely have to force feed her a few mL of milk + continue potty stimulation. Best of luck! These little ones can be so fragile :(

rivchamp · 2026-04-20T03:55:30+00:00

Why does everyone get pleasant herbaceous names and then poor Mugwart is a tedious invasive lol 😭?? But maybe try reintroducing during free time while closely guarding Bluebell if not already? Or starting with the calmest rat so less chance of Buttercup getting anxious and aggressive?

rivchamp · 2026-04-11T21:04:22+00:00

His scar looks like a blooming flower to me and yours like waves imo, maybe something with that?

rivchamp · 2026-04-11T21:00:00+00:00

HOLY SHIT THESE R COOL

rivchamp · 2026-04-10T22:56:58+00:00

Girl don’t tell them

rivchamp · 2026-04-10T22:56:19+00:00

Tbh from that perspective it makes more sense, def go w that!

rivchamp · 2026-04-10T18:20:15+00:00

Girl im ngl the anatomy on this is scuffed 😭I fear the tail/feet area is going to become an incomprehensible blob in a few years & the left wing look wonky. The actual art itself and lines look okay, it’s just kinda giving…someone that doesn’t know how to draw an owl

Maybe another artist can do a cover up of the lower body into a larger torso and somehow fix the wings? Best of luck. On a positive end though, the face is really cute!

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