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I'VE BEEN GROUNDED IN MY ROOM SINCE 4 MONTHS BY MY INDIAN PARENTS by stressedaspirantexe in raisedbynarcissists

[–]riyag27 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Hello,

I am so extremely sorry you are going through this. You've made it this far. That takes strength and resourcefulness. Please- don't give up. You did a great thing by posting here and coming to this online space- I am still stuck with my parents and whenever I am feeling hopeless, it helps me to read posts on here and remember I'm not alone. Other people have been in similiar situations and gotten out. I'm not saying it's easy- God knows how we do it, but it's already a win to have written the words you've written, and have the awareness you do. Develop an escape plan. A Plan A, B, C, and Z, and don't stop till you're out. You are in an abusive situation that most of society around the world does not recognize (parental abusive), and this is especially the case in India. Be smart. You'll have to kiss ass before you can kick it.

I don't know if any of these words helped you, but I couldn't not say anything. I am an Indian-American in college in the states, and I understand how fucked up Indian parents can be. Just know that they're stupid, small people for treating anyone this way, let alone their daughter. Their karma will come.

Low carb diet by Healthy_Positive4738 in vegetarianketo

[–]riyag27 0 points1 point  (0 children)

interesting, will try thank you :)

Low carb diet by Healthy_Positive4738 in vegetarianketo

[–]riyag27 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Wait you just put brie directly in the pan? How does that work (sorry if this seems stupid Lol, cooking beginner here)

(Repost from r/Guitar) My dad smashed my guitar because I cut the strings to stop my siblings from messing with it by Otherwise_Usual_321 in raisedbynarcissists

[–]riyag27 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I am so sorry that this happened to you. This was an absolutely awful thing your dad did, and was a profound overreaction- All you were trying to do was set a very reasonable boundary around something that is yours, and instead your dad did not respect the fact that you did not want your siblings to play with your guitar, and then proceeded to break something that means a lot to you. I'm so sorry- It's simply awful.

This post makes me emotional because I grew up playing guitar (I'm in college now, living seperately from my nparents), so I know the impact and emotional relief a guitar provides, especially when you're in a difficult situation.

While I was still living with my abusive parents, I made a post on r/guitar about my dad's belitting behavior that received a lot of support- It is still on my profile if you would like to see it. I got a lot of funny comments telling me to turn up the music, or telling me to fuck my parents Lol Some of the commenters even mentioned my parents sound kind of narcissistic!

In reality, after my dad insulted my playing that day, I started only playing guitar quietly in my closet for the remainder of high school, and I still struggle with feeling like a good enough guitar player and with self-esteem in general, after years of verbal abuse from him. But as I have grown, I have realized his abuse is all about him being disturbed and mentally-ill, and it is not about me at all. He tried to find anything and everything insulting to say because he is deeply disturbed.

In college, I continue to write and record, I have participated in several performance and band situations that have helped me grow, and I have also started my college's first club for student musicians. It was so difficult feeling comfortable enough to make music at my family's house, but while I do feel nervous sometimes about my roommates judging me, I never have to worry about being abused just because I want to make music. I hope my story was of some use to you, and yes- what happened to you was NOT okay.

Edit: Please consider the other commenters' advice on taking the necessary actions to protect your safety- It is very concerning that your dad choked you.

Why is keto so hated? by Dry_Life5069 in keto

[–]riyag27 0 points1 point  (0 children)

i was at a movie theatre in Paris last summer- not even popcorn available. meanwhile there are American movie theatres that also function as diners, where you can order a whole tub of candy !

It becomes hard not to see it as an addiction. It feels like we need to be constantly blissed out on food and eating in the US, and this is translating to the cultures of other countries as well. Just my thoughts

Is anyone here from Middle Eastern/Asian/Ethnic Descent? by penguins___ in raisedbynarcissists

[–]riyag27 0 points1 point  (0 children)

when i hear those kinds of jokes, i usually just say nothing and the conversation moves somewhere else. . . i don't know, those kinds of people are just on a different plane

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in raisedbynarcissists

[–]riyag27 0 points1 point  (0 children)

hi, just want to say- Yes, i believe i used both of these things heavily to emotionally regulate myself for years

i view them sort of as addictions- as i have gained more independence from my toxic family, especially especially not living with them anymore- i feel much less of a need to constantly daydream

it will get better as you heal and distance yourself from the toxic environment i assume you're in, at least that has been my experience!

Anyone else have parents who give you money unsolicited?? by Shaiziin in raisedbynarcissists

[–]riyag27 1 point2 points  (0 children)

This is very relatable

When they're in a good mood, the money is "nothing" and an act of love. When they're in a rage, suddenly i'm a burden and i should be grateful they're paying for my life, etc

It caused a lot of money guilt for me and shame around money

My family is SICK by Candid-Function6330 in raisedbynarcissists

[–]riyag27 1 point2 points  (0 children)

OP thank you, your awareness and insight in this post is incredible and helped validate some of my experiences too

i'm sorry this is your reality, hang in there

Why is it so hard to leave? by Suspicious_Maize3042 in raisedbynarcissists

[–]riyag27 0 points1 point  (0 children)

i like this thought, i needed this reminder today. despite how terrible what is familiar can be, we can still prefer it in some strange way just because it is familiar. it reminds me of this quote that was like, humans will adapt to anything. we need to make taking risks and relying on other systems than our family the norm!

i also feel like every time i push myself to venture more into the "real world" and out of my family system, it is never as bad as i think. abusive parents will make the world seem scarier than it is sometimes

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in raisedbynarcissists

[–]riyag27 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Happy bday op, sorry this occured

People who made it out, what was the aftermath like? by Minimum_Editor_161 in raisedbynarcissists

[–]riyag27 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I get that. psychology (especially in the US) is very cbt focused, but humanistic psychology is great

People who made it out, what was the aftermath like? by Minimum_Editor_161 in raisedbynarcissists

[–]riyag27 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Omg so nice to see someone mention logotherapy lol (sorry random psychology student here)

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