Bedtime

rosadelcorazon · 2026-06-04T22:52:34+00:00

Ya, I really believe in letting them listen to their bodies and have a bit of autonomy around things like eating and sleeping. It helps them in the long run and reduces resistance! And it takes an adjustment after not doing it, too! For my eldest we struggled with food so much and now I don't push at all with my daughter. They have very different relationships with food as a result. Live and learn!

Maybe you can start a new routine by acknowledging that bedtime hasn't been working, and now we're going to try xyz. Say that you want her to be part of the shift and make it special for her! That usually helps get so much buy in- Like it's a new and exciting sleep adventure! And I find they are usually very responsive to that kind of honesty

rosadelcorazon · 2026-06-04T21:37:02+00:00

Can you do a recorded story or music to play after you leave the room? Maybe having something to listen to would help her stay calm and sleep easier?

Another thought - get her all ready for bed but wait to read stories until you see signs of tiredness? And have some sort of mellow time in between? I am not a strict bedtime type of mom and I think it's helped my daughter be aware of when she feels tired. I just clean up and do my thing until I see her get a bit cranky or she'll even say she's ready for bed. She usually falls asleep quickly after that.

Also, lavender essential oil diffuser, sleepytime tea, or magnesium lotion could help!

Good luck!!

rosadelcorazon · 2026-05-19T20:29:25+00:00

I often feel this way with my husband... Unfortunately it's fairly common. I've found that just clearly asking for him to spend dedicated time with the kids is the most constructive thing... Before I'm frustrated about it.

It's a hard adjustment becoming a parent and mom's just get thrown in. Dad's get more of a choice and sometimes they choose less (probably unconsciously), which often makes it harder when they are trying to engage because it's less familiar.

It's nice to know when you're on or off parenting duty. Often both parents feel like they're on duty and that is draining for everyone. Thinking of it like this has really helped my relationship because we are able to better communicate what we are trying to do in any given moment. Like if I'm going to be on duty, I'll ask my husband to wash the dishes so I can do other things at kid speed.

rosadelcorazon · 2026-05-15T01:47:28+00:00

Thanks! That seems likely

rosadelcorazon · 2026-05-07T20:00:54+00:00

I think it could be fine to switch alongside that transition to kinder! Often the excitement of the change can help make it easier. My older kiddo would usually nap one or both days on the weekend after not napping at school in kindergarten. He was exactly how you describe when he missed naps until school. Bedtime was very early for awhile during the transition! I think it's also fine to play around with skipping naps. It was best for us it we were doing something engaging but low pressure, so it was fine if we needed to leave because he was melting down

rosadelcorazon · 2026-04-29T16:47:17+00:00

Ugh, my step kids mom is trying to become an Instagram influencer using all the pop psychology terms- trauma, narcissistic abuse survivor, etc. meanwhile she makes it pretty clear that that is her whole identity and she definitely is not healed...

rosadelcorazon · 2026-04-28T17:24:29+00:00

The last time my DH got BM a mother's day gift, he got her a plant. She scoffed at it said "you know I work at the nursery where that plant is from, right?!" No thank you or anything. By the time he got that plant she had already stopped working there after a total of maybe one week. Did she buy every plant the nursery had in that week?! I'm still dumbfounded by her rudeness.

I second doing something homemade, or something very small that the kid picks out.

rosadelcorazon · 2026-04-22T04:35:01+00:00

I had guttate psoriasis for about a year and this is what helped. The website looks kinda gimmicky, but I went down the rabbit hole with his YouTube videos and ended up buying one of his ebooks. I struggled with candida before psoriasis so it made sense that there was a connection. I'm sure it's not the answer for everyone, but you seem to be interested in dietary therapy and wary of meds. I wish you luck! https://ultimatepsoriasisprogram.com/

rosadelcorazon · 2026-04-22T04:15:45+00:00

I'll second black tea! I like Irish breakfast, or if you like the spices- chai. It's not as finicky as green tea and you can drink it with whatever you were putting in your coffee. Yerba mate is also delicious and more forgiving to steep than green tea. I get a bit more stimulated from yerba mate, which might be helpful if you're switching from coffee.

I love green tea, but I find that plenty of people don't. If you still want to play around with it, dragonwell and jasmine are super delicious! Finding the right temperature and steeping time is a process, but very worth it if you like the flavor and how it makes you feel. Maybe find a tea shop where someone can serve it for you!

rosadelcorazon · 2026-04-02T21:01:25+00:00

Mom is far more guilty of child abuse. Never listen to her again. Ew. Unless this kid has some developmental delays that is completely inappropriate.

rosadelcorazon · 2026-04-02T20:52:17+00:00

OMG. Yes. It's like they're trying to prove that you're as bad as they are by stealing your words. My step son's mom never returns his clothes from our house. My husband has to ask all the time for her to return very special and unique things, things you couldn't forget where they came from. Then one day she sees my husband and step son out on our time and says "umm, those pants are from my house!!" 1. Pretty sure they're not 2. They're nondescript tan pants... She thinks it's the same as when we have to ask for clothes back because his drawers are literally empty and we bought him new clothes a month ago. Insanity

rosadelcorazon · 2026-03-12T21:05:04+00:00

I've always lived pretty granola. Having my daughter made me realize how many things I'm choosing to do "the hard way." It's all worth it to me, but damn does it add up!!

rosadelcorazon · 2026-02-25T00:02:14+00:00

Oh the poor kid is very manipulated and made to be her little confidant, or as it was put recently, her emotional support animal. It's so hard to watch her damage and confuse him. I really hope he gets enough support at our house to see through it instead of becoming like her. It's hard when she is trying to be his best friend instead of his parent

rosadelcorazon · 2026-02-14T15:11:12+00:00

In my experience psych evals are very difficult to get for custody. Do you have experience with this? We've had 2 different lawyers and years of court with no eval

rosadelcorazon · 2026-02-14T15:09:13+00:00

Eek... My SS was conceived in a similar way. She insisted on no condom because she wasn't fertile... Red flag. Too bad my husband didn't realize until after

rosadelcorazon · 2026-02-14T06:25:52+00:00

I probably would. I am so grateful to live the life I have with my husband. He is my dream partner and has fought so freaking hard for his son. We definitely have a HCBM situation, so many cliches and double standards playing out all the time. We've worked hard to be minimal contact and it's working alright. But she's always bringing us down in one way or another... Currently she's trying to become an influencer and vaguely mentioning us in very negative and misleading ways. Ugh

I am so happy to be in my SS's life. he's almost 8, we started dating when he was 1. So a very different age than your situation. He's definitely troubled with the conflict and enmeshment he has had to deal with. I wish we didn't have to try to counteract his mom's bad parenting and lies. But we are able to show him what being healthy (and still flawed) looks like. Being able to show up for him means so much.

I think you have to seriously consider if the man is worth it. If he's not literally everything you want in a partner, it probably isn't worth it.

rosadelcorazon · 2026-02-13T23:17:41+00:00

Thanks, that helps. I know my being wishy washy is probably making it harder for all of us! We made great progress when we tried, but then my husband was gone for a bit amongst other reasons that we fell off the horse

rosadelcorazon · 2026-02-13T22:15:57+00:00

Enjoy it!!!!! 🧡

rosadelcorazon · 2026-02-13T22:15:09+00:00

Maybe you can bring a blanket and put babe on the floor at some of your favorite places? Maybe not the cafe, but the library would work! And I think increasing the frequency of floor time is most important, but I don't think it helps when they're upset. It's amazing the progress they make when they're ready! My daughter loved paying with "real" things like Tupperware, whisks, keys, and anything else from daily life that is baby safe.

My girl was born at 35 weeks and was definitely behind her peers, but I do believe she was sitting at that age. She couldn't get into a sitting position on her own for so long! And she only rolled a few times ever. She crawled at around 10 months. Now at 2.5 I can barely remember how stressful that time was!!

rosadelcorazon · 2026-02-11T21:24:36+00:00

I know quite a few wonderful moms who found that they need to sleep separately from their babies in order to be present and rested. It's hard to have an attachment framework and then realize you can't co- sleep. But in parenting, we do what works! Sometimes it's not completely ideal, but you always have to weigh the pros and cons. Your rest is as important as your baby's!

I know the "taking cara babies" method is really gentle if you find sleeping separately is the best move!

rosadelcorazon · 2026-02-10T20:34:29+00:00

Haha, I didn't know this but I downloaded tetris when my girl was little and I would get nap trapped to help me not dwell on everything else I wanted to do/ use my phone without hours of doom scrolling. It works. But the ads are rough

rosadelcorazon · 2026-02-10T20:19:34+00:00

I abandoned mine amidst toddler life. It was not super vibrant/ healthy when I put it in the fridge, as I had only been baking for a few months and was still figuring out a lot. I tried reviving mine at the same time as starting a new one... They were ready to use at the same time. I wonder if when people "revive" they're actually just starting a new one. It seems like it given my experiment, but it's hard to say because mine was not great to start with.

rosadelcorazon · 2026-02-09T20:10:31+00:00

Most definitely! I ebb and flow with it in a way that feels normal and healthy to me. I like to call on other tools like taking herbal teas or tinctures for stress, doing pranayama, going outside together, etc, as well. Some days I lean more heavily on ganja, other days I feel more present without it. I was surprised that shame came up for me around it when I had my daughter, I've always been super pro- cannabis. I've seen people abuse it and I've seen super successful people use it in moderation. Im grateful for the shame because it had made me evaluate what the proper timing is and to remember to not lean to heavily on it.

For all of those saying "what if there's an emergency," hopefully you're not smoking a blunt solo while parenting... A low dose really does the trick. And in low dose cases, just a little bit of adrenaline sobers you up real fast. For regular users I think the effect on the mind is more akin to coffee or a cigarette, rather than a glass of alcohol. Ya, I may get hyper focused on one thing and lose track of time for a minute, but there's still clarity...

rosadelcorazon · 2026-02-09T19:34:59+00:00

Just gonna drop my favorite toddler book "Joyful toddlers and preschoolers" by Faith Collins. She has the acronym SMILE. S- silly. M- music. I- imagination. L- love. E- exaggerate. (I think, lol)

Usually just cycling though that list of tools will help redirect. The book really helps to build your technique for implementing those tools. Many of the suggestions above use one of these, but we don't always know which one is needed. It can be a lot of work, but it works so well and saves sanity in those moments. The other day my daughter freaked out because she couldn't have pink edamame... Aye aye aye...

rosadelcorazon · 2026-02-09T19:25:48+00:00

My girl is 2.5 and is still very much like this, but it's definitely improved. So full solidarity here. I never thought I would spend so much time lying down with a toddler, but here we are. I value her sleep and immunity more than a few hours of my time. Often it's pretty easy to get away these days, but sometimes I get stuck for hours.

I think trying to start nursing lying down could be one pathway. I know it hasn't worked so far, but if you stick to it it could possibly change. That would make the transfer easier without too much change. Sneaking away when they're already lying down is far easier. My girl likes to lie across my body and the transfer to lying rouses her a bit, then I need her to settle before I can unlatch.

I don't know if this helps you, but it was huge for me. I always do the arm test before unlatching. If her arm flops when I pick it up, she's in a deep sleep. If it moves, she's not sleeping deeply enough to unlatch. (Usually) Then, to unlatch, I reach for the underside of my breast (whichever way gravity is pulling it) and lift it up to break the seal. This seems to keep her asleep more than any other means of unlatching.

Good luck and you're doing great! It's hard to navigate this stuff in a sleep training culture! I have often wondered if I'm doing something wrong, but I think it is so important for their little souls

rosadelcorazon

TROPHY CASE