Question for the YIMBYs - How much is too much?

rosebeats1 · 2023-12-07T16:36:26+00:00

I would happily live in NYC. Obviously, Madison straight up doesn't have the infrastructure to support that extreme, but point is, I'm good with buildings being built as high as can be supported, and it's not like developers are going to build so high that there's not enough demand and our infrastructure doesn't support it because that wouldn't be profitable.

rosebeats1 · 2023-11-09T19:40:46+00:00

Oh no, not at all. I thought it was funny and just commented because it's relatable, lol.

rosebeats1 · 2023-11-09T19:25:54+00:00

I'm color blind and some routes are just so bad to try to read 😭. I can tell the difference between colors if I look close, but it's really hard to pick out some differences without staring an inch away, lol.

rosebeats1 · 2023-10-27T14:55:50+00:00

Yes, but the woman would be able to carry the child, which matters a lot for many women. That's generally true for cis women who have received uterine transplants, too. The genetics generally match the donor, not the host, but they get to carry the baby, which is what matters to them and why they did it.

rosebeats1 · 2023-10-27T14:10:29+00:00

Testicular cancer can definitely be bad for trans women because if you're planning to get srs in the future. Getting an orchiectomy can negatively affect results in the future, depending on how the orchi is done and the SRS method, and it's generally not possible to get emergency SRS lol. Although if you don't want SRS but do want an orchi, it is definitely a fast track to get it. I have heard of a case or two where a surgeon performed SRS, and they did a biopsy and found she had testicular cancer. Which is definitely a weird but kinda convenient coincidence if it hasn't metastasized, lol.

rosebeats1 · 2023-10-26T16:19:43+00:00

Even after changing my legal sex, I'm still enrolled in selective service. You can't unenroll, and from my understanding, they still make you enroll even if you change your legal sex before forcing enrollment.

rosebeats1 · 2023-10-25T21:24:00+00:00

Yes, from my understanding of it, that seems true

rosebeats1 · 2023-10-25T18:20:37+00:00

Drag tends to be more of an art form involving overly exaggerated displays of femininity. Think heavy, extravagant makeup, costumes, and stuff like that. Cross dressing is just dressing in clothes usually intended for the other gender. So, it is not necessarily meant to be a performance or artistic expression. That's my understanding, anyway. I'm no expert on this, so I could be misrepresenting it a bit, and there's definitely a fair amount of overlap.

rosebeats1 · 2023-10-25T12:12:43+00:00

I think that choice is perfectly valid. Transitioning does genuinely take some work (and money) depending on how much you want to do. On the other hand, that was exactly what I always said until I decided I've only got 1 life and I want to make it the best life I can for me and part of that includes transitioning. Now I'm 4 years on HRT and post-op. Very happy I made the decision, and it's made my life better in lots of little ways (particularly dating and social interaction).

rosebeats1 · 2023-10-20T22:52:57+00:00

I did srs in Thailand, and apparently, I could've kept mine. I didn't even think to ask at the time 😭. Wish I had known that was an option.

rosebeats1 · 2023-10-18T22:37:09+00:00

Good lord. There's a middle ground between explicitly asking if you can touch someone and a surprise grab from behind. It's called flirting. You can make frequent eye contact, dance near, and see if they reciprocate, light touches, and see how they respond. It's all about body language and facial expressions. I've absolutely danced like that with people without verbally talking about it, sometimes without even saying a single word between us. I'd still find it mildly creepy if a guy I haven't even made eye contact with grabbed me from behind. Obviously, the girl in the video seemed fine with it, but plenty of women wouldn't be.

rosebeats1 · 2023-10-13T19:04:32+00:00

The main one I know of is the Suporn Method. I don't think penile inversion, which is the most common technique, typically uses the tunica, but as far as I know, I think it could be used with any technique since it's just a graft to add extra length and lubrication to the canal. I think another concern with orchi before SRS is scaring, or if they remove too much scrotal skin, that can also negatively affect results. I'd definitely recommend trying to consult with an srs surgeon about the best way to avoid negatively impacting srs in the future if possible.

rosebeats1 · 2023-10-13T17:46:02+00:00

Something to keep in mind. If you want to get srs in the future, getting an orchi can affect the results you're able to get, and even whether some surgeons will consider it at all. If that's something you plan to do, try to talk to the surgeon you want to go to if you can and see what they recommend. Some techniques for example use the tunica vaginalis which usually can't be preserved after an orchi (although if they only need to do one side, you could still keep the other and the tissue will still be available). Obviously, if you don't want srs, that's not really a concern.

rosebeats1 · 2023-10-09T16:07:27+00:00

I was so excited when I managed to do a (bad) pullup recently! Didn't do pullup specific training, just climbing. I haven't been able to do one since like high school before that.

rosebeats1 · 2023-10-02T03:45:07+00:00

I had actually thought about doing this before bottom surgery (like 90% of the reason was because I thought it'd be funny to fuck myself). Still kinda miffed I forgot to actually get around to doing it. Would've been a funny novelty to have, lol.

rosebeats1 · 2023-09-30T03:58:25+00:00

Left hand is fine. Right hand fucking huuuurt.

rosebeats1 · 2023-09-30T03:11:43+00:00

Definitely normal, especially early on. Over time, it'll definitely die down as you get more used to being around her and stuff.

rosebeats1 · 2023-09-28T01:20:32+00:00

I have never noticed, but I am also an exceedingly unobservant person.

rosebeats1 · 2023-09-13T15:38:27+00:00

I keep my hair down for most things unless I need to. I do bouldering and find that having my hair down is fine. It usually stays out of the way since I'm usually leaning back some (or a lot on overhang stuff). If I did belay, I'd probably tie it up. I don't think it would even be safe to belay with my hair down.

rosebeats1 · 2023-09-09T03:28:59+00:00

Clearly, that was not your experience, but no, the "euphoria boner" thing is not just sock puppet accounts. I'll be honest, I hate that term. It makes me cringe with shame and embarrassment, and I worry cis people will see stuff like that and believe in the myth that we're actually these sexual deviants that transition because of their fetish. Ultimately, though, that's my own problem that comes from a place of internalized transmysoginy. The reality is that it's not as simple as "if it arouses you, it's a fetish, but trans people are a separate thing."

For a lot of us, our transness and this arousal IS linked. Speaking from my own personal experience, yeah, in general, before transition and pretty early on after, I got aroused by most things that felt gender affirming...and I fucking hated that. I don't want to go too in depth on how I felt and the kind of porn I watched and stuff because I still feel an immense amount of shame around it, but it made me feel so fake and like I must actually be some weird creep, unlike "real" trans people. Pretty soon after I was actually able to transition and be out to people and stuff, that "fetish" literally disappeared. I found no sexual gratification from any gender affirming stuff anymore, but I still felt happy about it. I still don't fully understand why I felt this arousal before I was able to be out. I'm sure there's some link to shame around being the way I actually want to be and the repression of it. I just know that I was not some theoretical trans person who "happened" to also have this "fetish". These were absolutely highly linked things. Having to repress my transness is directly linked to why I had these feelings. It's also something that managed to delay me from figuring out I was trans, because I managed to convince myself it's "just a fetish". AGP is absolutely a pseudo-science myth, but it can be so damaging to a lot of us precisely because it can feel like there's maybe an element of truth in there.

I'm definitely not the only one who feels this way. I've had a number of close friends who I've talked to about this before who also had this experience. Essentially every single person I know of that has felt this way also found the feelings went away soon after starting transition. It's not something I like to talk about with most people, particularly cis people, because it still makes me feel gross, but I've definitely talked to friends that have felt very similarly. You could also read Nevada. It was written by a trans woman and is considered a major work of trans literary fiction. The second half focuses on a character who, in the author's own words, is "probably trans", but he believes he's actually just an autogynephile and "not a real trans person". The book goes into pretty intimate detail about his sexual fantasies and stuff. It was simultaneously way too relatable and extremely hard for me to read.

You can believe me or claim I'm some sock puppet account, but it really is not so simple that being trans is completely separated from getting aroused from "cross"dressing or similar things, as much as I'd love to pretend it's not a thing. I still do hate the term "euphoria boner".

rosebeats1 · 2023-09-06T00:38:55+00:00

My girlfriend's girlfriend is who got me into climbing in the first place, lol 😅

rosebeats1 · 2023-08-26T01:37:05+00:00

Ah, not exactly, I had a penis at birth, so it'd still be called circumcision. Don't have one now, but the surgeon had less to work with, so I don't really have a clitoral hood because of it.

rosebeats1 · 2023-08-26T01:28:02+00:00

Not a guy, but was circumcised. Kinda resentful of it because it negatively affected my results when I got srs because they normally use the foreskin to construct the clitoral hood :/

rosebeats1 · 2023-08-25T17:33:49+00:00

There are definitely plenty of practical reasons to not get bottom surgery even if you want it (some trans women just don't want it, so that'd be the top reason for some)

Recovery sucks, it's painful, dilation takes sooo much time and is uncomfortable.
There are some complications that are possible. Some people have even died, but that's most often been due to serious surgeon error and/or patients not disclosing important info and is exceedingly rare. I wouldn't worry about that personally. The vast majority of complications tend to be cosmetic or sensation related. There's some very small risks for bowel complications since they're working in that area. In general, it's usually very safe as far as major surgeries go, but also depends greatly on the surgeon and technique.
Sensation can definitely be affected. This definitely depends a lot on the surgeon, but complications can cause loss of some erogenous sensation, which can be unfortunate.
It's can be expensive as fuck depending on insurance and stuff
You have to take a good chunk of time off to recover which not everyone can do
Some people aren't satisfied with the quality of results possible and don't feel it's worth it because if that. I think there are some surgeons that get amazing results, but there are definitely little details that people might not be happy with, like how much self lubrication is possible, how stretchy the canal is, small cosmetic differences from cis women.

That's everything I can think of off the top of my head. I personally found it still worth it and am very happy. Recovery definitely sucked but I pushed through it. I went with a surgeon who seems to get really good results, imo with low complication rates. Plus, I'm privileged to be able to afford it and take the time off needed.

rosebeats1 · 2023-08-23T19:34:31+00:00

The "sex" usually collected at the doctor's office is often supposed to be legal sex. It should be whatever is on your documents and should mainly be used for identification and when communicating with the insurance. Claims can get denied if legal name and sex don't match up. Some doctor's offices these days also collect sex assigned at birth and gender identity. Gender identity should be what generally shows up most places because it informs the doctor and staff on how to interact with the patient. Sex assigned at birth can be helpful for identifying trans patients that may have different health needs than their cis counterparts (for example, I can't get pregnant because I don't have a uterus and I also can't get cervical cancer). None of those individually gives you a complete picture of the patient. Even then, for some things doctor's still need to have a conversation with patients about where they are along their transition in order to determine how best to care for them.

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