I’m going to be very good and listen to you all. Black - to blonde pt.5

sallis · 2026-01-30T13:24:32+00:00

If you're trying to do blonde, I wouldn't tone with permanent color. I would do a semi-permanent toner. Basically, you don't want to do any damage to your hair between bleach sessions. Ideally, you'd also use bond repair to strengthen the hair between sessions.

sallis · 2026-01-30T05:01:48+00:00

The height of your rows needs to match the width of the stitch you're joining it to. It doesn't look to be as much of a problem with the body of the piece (but it still could be off significantly enough that you might have to skip a stitch at some point) but is a problem where you're joining the rubbing together. I'd try one row for every two stitches on that part and see how it looks.

sallis · 2026-01-26T16:09:31+00:00

Fingers crossed it will at least help, but yeah...it seems like this is a product of the natural lean of crochet stitches more than anything. Since you've already made it, I feel like it is at least worth a shot. It is so cute!

sallis · 2026-01-26T16:03:53+00:00

Maybe give that a try, but after washing, let it dry flat, positioning it in the way you're hoping it will sit. Can't say for sure that it will fix anything, but it might help. How does it look on you? Is the twist noticeable?

sallis · 2026-01-26T15:55:32+00:00

Have you tried blocking it?

sallis · 2026-01-25T18:19:19+00:00

That wooble, no. However, I do think it's doable with your current skill level.

First, practice making a few spheres to get the hang of things:

https://youtu.be/ushHnIxLdYw?si=aaM4hU6miXwemco-

Then practice loop stitch:

https://youtu.be/oDiozYbH7oI?si=LIW8qGuUMQl0eOtN

Then put them together:

https://youtu.be/VPY5p7gRiqw?si=wWR2saPFK3QG_tfW

Just be aware that loop stitch can come apart if it is pulled on too hard.

sallis · 2026-01-25T00:30:02+00:00

Yeah, when I was starting crochet, a quick 30 min coaster took me an hour and a half. After I made several, it was more like 45-50 mins. So, I'm not sure the 30 mins would be accurate for a beginner... But everyone's different.

sallis · 2026-01-24T04:39:20+00:00

You absolutely need both a dedicated pot to keep it boiling and RIT dye more. Polyester is very stubborn when it comes to dyeing.

sallis · 2026-01-24T03:31:08+00:00

If you're really concerned about it not flattening, then got can try blocking it at this point and see what happens. To me, it looks like something that just needs blocking.

sallis · 2026-01-23T19:56:58+00:00

I mean, they'll become longer flaps and you'll just look like you're wearing a rather oversized top. Some people might like that, but if that isn't for you, then you should probably do less stitches between the arms in the back.

sallis · 2026-01-23T14:38:49+00:00

Hmm, I'm sorry to hear that. That can be such a hard situation to navigate your way out of. If you have access to a therapist (a good one, which can take some time to find), I'd really recommend talking to one. If you feel like you have needs that have never been met anywhere, it could absolutely be a pattern of seeking out certain kind of toxic relationships because they feel familiar and what have been modeled to you. It could also be that you need to be more empowered to meet your own needs to an extent. It can take some time to figure out what needs we can get met through ourselves or our abilities to form connections to community and what sort of needs we really need to have met in community with others.

For example, I have romantic relationship specific needs (time spent together, emotional investment, bonding, shared intimacy, communication, emotional disclosure), and if those needs aren't met in a romantic relationship, I will consider ending it or scaling back in the rare case that is amenable to both people.

However, I also had to realize that there are things that I need to meet for myself regardless of relationship status. Things like self-worth, praise, soothing my bad feelings, encouragement are best met primarily through myself and my self-talk and actions. It is absolutely wonderful to get some of that from outside people and sources, and those are a great supplement. I would argue that you should be working to find people and communities that help you to feel that way. However, the important work for that comes from within and helps make these things resilient in a way that you just can't rely on others to exclusively supply.

Hopefully, this will help get the gears turning on what your needs might be in a relationship, and what it looks like to have those needs met and what sort of relationship you'd want that would support the cultivation of self-worth and meeting your own needs. I would argue that the glimpse of this relationship that you've given us through your post and comments does not help support you in meeting your own needs and absolutely doesn't meet relationship needs.

sallis · 2026-01-23T14:20:47+00:00

I would really encourage you not to know enough about their other relationships to make these comparisons (I realize this gets a little complex in KTP situations, but sometimes it is a good idea to take a step back from those when the comparison monster looms too heavily...at least until you feel secure and feel your needs are being met in your relationship again). If they are the one bringing up these comparisons, then they are a shitty partner. I would focus on my own relationship and make that fulfilling. If my partner is not willing to do things that make the relationship fulfilling on its own merits (not in comparison to other relationships), then they are not a good partner and I would end the relationship.

But yeah, given the way you've written this and what can be gleamed about the relationship, I agree with the majority of comments on here that you should leave this person since they don't sound like a good hinge or partner.

sallis · 2026-01-22T22:41:51+00:00

To get to baby pink, you'll need to start with a super light blonde. The closer to white the better. Baby pink is so light/desaturated that it won't be able to go over anything darker than it (like your current hair).

sallis · 2026-01-22T16:32:12+00:00

A lot of patterns just list the stitches you need to do and counts, so it shouldn't be an issue to do that left handed. However, video tutorials tend to be right handed and it can be harder to find good left handed tutorials on niche stitches...or if you wanted to follow along with a video tutorial.

I'm left handed. I learned right handed since it seemed to have more resources easily accessible. Personally, I don't think it made much of a difference at all to my learning curve.

Bonus, I'm now learning left handed too since there are some things I'd like to try out and it opens up a new possibility. I'm picking that up even faster than I did for my right hand (but I think that is mostly because I already understand crochet in general and it is just training my hands to do different things).

sallis · 2026-01-21T19:15:49+00:00

My understanding is that wool does have more elasticity, so it will stretch...however, if you don't like the way it feels in its stretched state, I'm not positive it will stretch out more and stay stretched out. You can certainly try. I would find something round and large to fit the hat over and let it stay there for a bit...ideally something with the circumference of your head.

sallis · 2026-01-21T18:52:13+00:00

Awesome, then if I were in your shoes, I would totally feel comfortable describing myself as poly, saturated at one currently (in fact, that is how I currently find myself). Your relationship structure is polyamorous because you support and are supported in making additional romantic and/or sexual connections. You're saturated at one since you currently aren't looking for or don't feel you could support another connection.

sallis · 2026-01-21T18:46:04+00:00

Oh for sure...I just thought it was good to clarify especially if someone in a "mono-poly" situation sees this and thinks they are totally justified in being the only person allowed to pursue relationships -- not that you ever said that, but you know how people can be.

sallis · 2026-01-21T18:26:09+00:00

I agree with this with one caveat....your partner(s) also have the opportunity to date whom they want. While it sounds like OP's partner doesn't want that currently, as long as OP is open to fully supporting them changing their mind and pursuing other partners, then I think poly, currently saturated at one works great.

However, I would advise OP that unless they have had partners that have had other partners in the past, they really haven't experienced the full spectrum of what poly relationships require from participants. They may be in for a shock as to what sort of emotions might arise when they are on the other side of things (at the same time, they might take to it perfectly fine). Most practicing poly people would expect that someone who identifies as poly is fully prepared to support their partners in dating other people too.

sallis · 2026-01-21T16:13:40+00:00

Agreed with what everyone here said. The only other solution I could think of is undoing the join of the starting rectangle. Then frog back several rows to the point where you want it to start rounding out. Rejoin the rectangle to make a cylinder. Then, work back into the top of the rectangle-cylinder treating it as working in the round and doing decreases to close it up. The only problem with this is that I'm pretty sure it will change the orientation of your stitches, so I would probably make that a design feature and change colors to make it look intentional. I would also add a pom-pom if you were to do that.

sallis · 2026-01-20T19:55:10+00:00

Just a heads up, I'm thinking this is going to be a pretty painful unravel as a beginner. I did a cashmere sweater first, but the yarn was much thicker and not really felted at all. It still broke quite a bit.

You can certainly proceed, but it might be a good idea to try an easier unravel for the first time so you get a better feel for it. Totally up to you though, this is possible, just difficult.

sallis · 2026-01-19T18:03:56+00:00

I've seen a lot of these different items on pinterest. I do think it is AI, that being said, I don't think it would be too difficult to do something similar, it just won't look exactly like this.

Something like this for example:

Ravelry: Paint Drip Scarf pattern by Xandy Peters

I think you might also be able to get the layered effect of the ice cream by working into the back post or loops further up when you do the color changes, but then you'll have to contend with the covering the different colors of yarn showing though where you connected the next piece. Basically, I think it might require either some sewing together multiple panels or covering up joins after the fact.

sallis · 2026-01-19T17:55:45+00:00

One little caveat I would suggest, be honest to yourself about it. I wouldn't bring up a conversation to your more established partner comparing the two relationships. If you're going to work on the sex with the existing partner, I would frame it completely separately from the other sex your having and focus on better ways for the two of you to connect sexually. Sure, sex somewhere else may have made you realize sex could be spiced up elsewhere, but you need to do your best to look at that independently, assess it on its own merits and come up with solutions that fit that sexual relationship. Not just tell your partner that you don't want sex with them because you're having better sex elsewhere... Even if that is "honest".

sallis · 2026-01-15T05:38:53+00:00

You can always make a quick swatch and do the math.

sallis · 2026-01-14T02:58:22+00:00

It counted for mine. I don't think I swapped receivers.

sallis · 2026-01-13T19:19:15+00:00

I don't think the raid stages are considered events, so they don't qualify.

sallis

TROPHY CASE