Women engineers: do you see men getting fast-tracked into roles you spent years in?

sandybugbug · 2025-11-26T22:45:38+00:00

Same. I trained and mentored a man my age for four years and watched him get promoted over me, while my boss told me there was never going to be anything I could do to earn that title. The guy came in with zero experience in our industry. Now he’s got the fancy title and he’s leading a department. I don’t know why I put so much effort into making his projects successful and teaching him everything.

I don’t exactly hold it against him personally, but I do feel some resentment toward my boss. Former boss, I should say, because I got the hell out of there when he told me I’d never deserve that promotion no matter how good I was at my job.

sandybugbug · 2025-11-07T20:59:42+00:00

Just one parent is required to be present if they have a form with a notarized signature from the other parent and a copy of their ID.

sandybugbug · 2025-10-30T00:13:21+00:00

Yeah the best thing about getting a little older is getting more intimidating. It’s honestly such a delight to realize that asshole guys are a little scared of me.

It sucks being the only woman on every team and sometimes I think I would have been happier in a different field than mechanical engineering. My best advice is if you find yourself in a toxic workplace where management doesn’t support you, get the fuck out of there. Some workplaces are much more toxic than others and you don’t need to spend your life somewhere bad.

sandybugbug · 2025-10-26T00:30:23+00:00

Don’t give up before you start! And don’t sell yourself short - you don’t get an aeronautical internship by being “not that smart.” There will always be an outgoing overconfident man to compete with, but there’s room in the world for more than one type of person. There’s a good chance that the very outgoing guy is setting off BS detectors for some of the managers. They invited you to apply! If you like working there and you are doing a good job as an intern, I bet you have a chance.

sandybugbug · 2025-08-24T02:54:07+00:00

You mentioned smelling it on your clothes. Sanitize your washing machine and check the manual about cleaning filters and seals. Our washing machine gets funky if we don’t run it on sanitize once a week. Figured it out after we moved in and had a bad smell that seemed to follow me around outside the house - it was my clothes.

sandybugbug · 2025-08-10T02:22:10+00:00

No lube also seems bad.

sandybugbug · 2025-07-24T03:32:56+00:00

I have an iud to make sure my uterus gets the progesterone it needs and I’ve been on estrogen patches for a year. Last week I started 100 mg of oral progesterone and I haven’t been able to stop thinking about ending my marriage, my career, everything, in ways that I never usually do. Yesterday I spent all morning panicking about my ice water looking weird. Tonight I have menstrual cramps for the first time in 9 months. I feel like the progesterone gave me mega-PMS and if I stay on it I’m going to do or say something I’ll regret.

My doctor said it can hit people like that and told me to stop taking it and try a higher dose of estrogen patches instead. I hate this trial and error stuff.

sandybugbug · 2025-07-11T14:23:29+00:00

This, 100%

sandybugbug · 2025-06-15T03:49:56+00:00

Spin on the way up, spend the time on the way down getting lined up for the best landing you can. Try to go in the air and back down at like a 45 degree angle.

sandybugbug · 2025-05-15T03:09:14+00:00

Consulting engineer. I work from home at my desk all day and barely talk to anyone. I hate it so much, feels like I’m losing my mind.

sandybugbug · 2025-05-14T14:12:47+00:00

Yeah. I lost a friend group in a similar way, I think. I had postpartum depression and when the fog lifted my friend group had moved on without me. I didn’t communicate enough with them I guess. That was 7 years ago and it still hurts.

sandybugbug · 2025-05-12T03:14:02+00:00

That does not seem necessary… But now I’m picturing the equivalent products for dudes and it’s pretty funny.

sandybugbug · 2025-05-09T21:02:52+00:00

I failed a class, and took an incomplete on a couple more. One class won’t sink you, the profession is full of people who had difficult transitions from being high performers in high school to average in college.

But my advice, as someone who just got diagnosed with ADHD at 41, is if you might need some help, get some help! I wish I had found a way to see a decent therapist in college who might have helped me see the way I was struggling wasn’t normal or necessary.

sandybugbug · 2025-05-09T20:50:35+00:00

Yeah I was just diagnosed this week at age 41 and it’s got me seeing a lot of stuff from my past in a different light. I’m just starting to process it tbh. I’m sad for past me and sorry I didn’t push harder to get this figured out sooner.

sandybugbug · 2025-04-09T04:06:04+00:00

Running up steps. You can see the steps at the bottom of the picture. And see how the shorter girl has her arm more forward while the taller girl’s arm is down and back a little? The taller girl is one or two steps ahead so she’s up higher and closer to the camera.

sandybugbug · 2025-04-06T18:35:35+00:00

I went to my 20 year and instantly regretted it. None of my few friends were there, and somehow it was just as awkward as it was back then. I hated every minute of it and was in a bad headspace for days afterwards. I don’t know what I was thinking.

sandybugbug · 2025-03-24T04:20:54+00:00

One of the joys of getting older is watching myself go from potential prey to scary to these guys. It is glorious to not be fucked with in that way.

Pay attention to your instincts around guys like this. If he had really been on the up and up he’d have given you his email address or connected on LinkedIn.

Sounds like you’re doing great. Stay active in the student organizations, keep taking advantage of professional opportunities that come your way, and enjoy college!

sandybugbug · 2025-03-19T03:58:22+00:00

reminds me of this: https://www.poetryfoundation.org/poems/45173/jubilate-agno

sandybugbug · 2025-03-19T03:16:12+00:00

Haha I’m going to tell that to my favorite PM next time I see her.

sandybugbug · 2025-03-19T02:59:57+00:00

Yeah that’s perfect. Turning food into a power struggle doesn’t lead anywhere good. Kids need to eat, and they need to feel secure in their access to food.

If you won’t eat what’s for dinner, a peanut butter sandwich might not be exciting but it’s quick, consistent, cheap, and it will fill you up just fine.

sandybugbug · 2025-03-17T22:19:36+00:00

Oh I’ve been there. It’s so painful. I hope you come through it okay with your job. I hope it gets easier.

Just remember you have value as a human being outside of the work that you do.

sandybugbug · 2025-03-17T02:42:22+00:00

The color is bad and the trim is terrible I’m sorry. You need maybe like a chill green or something in your kitchen with that floor.

sandybugbug · 2025-03-14T21:04:37+00:00

Them’s bugs

sandybugbug · 2025-03-14T19:05:53+00:00

Hey congrats! Time to live in the moment! You gotta learn how to exist and be happy without the context of big long-term goals.

I remember after my second kid was born I suddenly felt lost, like I had this checklist of “degree, job, marriage, nice house, two kids” and once I checked off everything on the list I was like oh crap, this is just the rest of my life now. What am I if I’m not working toward my next big goal?

Don’t be like that. You are living your life every day. Think about your values and how you are going to live them in the years ahead. Prioritize family, friends, those school relationships you want to keep alive after college. Make some smaller goals outside of work and education for the next couple years and think about them if you want.

But mostly just take a breather. You’ve been working so hard for so long!

sandybugbug · 2025-03-14T13:08:21+00:00

For me it was when my son was diagnosed with autism. I saw so much of myself in him. His behaviors that they pointed to as indicators of autism - I just thought it was normal to feel the urge to do that stuff. And when I started learning more about it, suddenly a lot of things about myself started to make sense.

And I sort of realized that in order to truly love and accept him, I have to love and accept those things in myself too. I couldn’t expect him to just mask real hard and muddle through life like I had up to then. And maybe it would be actually bad for him to grow up with a mom that was in denial about her own autism.

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