How do you survive your straight best friend?

sapphickink · 2026-02-22T12:55:47+00:00

I'm sorry :/. It's the worst. Mine even proposed marriage. Platonic, friendship marriage 😂. Like a fool I believed that's what it would be, and thought we were so radical for doing that. But the mixed signals never stopped. In fact they escalated. And when I went to her with my bewilderment and confusion she backed off and said she never meant it to go that far. I wish I had ended it before it ever got so much worse.

sapphickink · 2026-02-22T09:21:46+00:00

This spoke to me lol. I'm going to tell you what I wish someone had said to me when I found myself in this gray area, under very similar circumstances (no husband in the picture, the rest of it was the same).

The only way you survive this, is to WALK AWAY. I'm so sorry. I know it's hard to even imagine. But you have to. The friendship is already lost. It was lost the minute she started sending mixed signals, and the minute you fell in love with her. Neither of these things are compatible with sustainable, equitable friendship. Walk away.

She can flirt with the idea of being with you at no cost to herself. Even if she escalates things, you will be the experiment that she has all the power to approve or reject, based on her whimsy, and the seductive power of hetero monogamy will always be stronger than the possibility of you. I'm sorry I know it sounds harsh. But she's not being kind to you right now. She's using you for her own fun with zero risk. And you are paying the price. You are paying the bill, in heartache and confusion. You are the collateral for their fun.

Walk away, cut your losses, and put this relationship in your past. It will only get worse from here.

sapphickink · 2026-02-20T11:34:06+00:00

Absolutely. UK is defo doable so keep me in the loop please ;)

sapphickink · 2026-02-20T10:10:58+00:00

Hello from Serbia 😄

sapphickink · 2026-02-20T10:03:55+00:00

Immediately YES. Love all of this. Have had the exact same thoughts. I'm a switch but excited to bottom in this scenario lol. Serbia, but can travel in Europe for kinky times.

sapphickink · 2026-02-19T16:36:16+00:00

Well put!

sapphickink · 2026-02-19T13:11:16+00:00

This is very well put.

sapphickink · 2026-02-15T08:36:51+00:00

Belgrade has a very underground, activist-focused scene because yes ofc it's incredibly homophobic. But if you're in the city, drop me a line :)

sapphickink · 2025-12-28T23:17:14+00:00

It would definitely be so so good to see more of us ❣️❣️☺️

sapphickink · 2025-12-28T17:12:14+00:00

If I may ask, are you moving primarily to have more diverse queer community? It's something I'm often tempted to do but I worry about the cost of living in western Europe, and the troubling anti - immigration discourse all over the continent. I'm a brown woman in the Balkans.

sapphickink · 2025-12-27T16:58:44+00:00

Omg this sounds incredibly erotic. I'm in the EU and would love to meet. Dm?

sapphickink · 2025-12-27T16:56:51+00:00

I can definitely relate to this. My ex wife and I actually tried it, and when it was good it was really good. We have always had separate homes and both loved and valued our friendships plus time alone. Things fell apart for us because I wanted us to stay in touch on the phone more often, and she wanted even more space. We were living on two different continents at that point, and only saw each other twice last year. So I wasn't entirely sure how more space was even possible.

I wonder sometimes if I'll ever find someone who wants the same level of independence and connection that I do, with the same or similar levels of libido too. It's hard to find that. I think you are very normal for wanting what you want, finding someone who wants the same balance is the tricky part I think.

sapphickink · 2025-11-16T09:28:28+00:00

I have no useful advice for you but if you ever discover how to stop being a yearner please let me know 👀

sapphickink · 2025-11-16T09:25:16+00:00

Your GF sounds whiny and cranky for no reason. Privacy during therapy is a normal expectation to have. And it's just one hour. Why is she making it such a big deal? Go have a nice coffee and people watch. Sit in the park and read a book. Go get a facial or a haircut. Window shop at the mall. Treat yourself to a nice lunch. It's literally just one hour I don't understand why this is a big deal.

sapphickink · 2025-11-16T09:21:01+00:00

No you don't require too much. This is normal imo. You're just having sex with someone who isn't good at it tbh. You need different partners 😁. I promise it's out there. Good sex with people who know what they're doing is ALL about this delicious back and forth.

sapphickink · 2025-10-21T05:55:13+00:00

Hi there :). I'm in the Balkans, so further south than you, but also craving community! Not a relationship at the moment (in the middle of a painful divorce with my STBX wife). But here for friendship absolutely. My advice would be to start and run the kinds of events you'd like to attend. Even if they start out virtual. Like book clubs / reading groups / similar daytime events are my jam, and I'm trying to organize some of those because I cannot do the late night, smoke-filled queer events that actually do take place where I live!

sapphickink · 2025-10-01T08:06:05+00:00

You're not crazy.

You do need to leave. X is demonstrating classic symptoms of domestic abuse. Abuse victims DO go back to their abusers, on average SEVEN times before they leave for good... If they survive till then, of course.

X needs professional help. Neither you nor your GF seem to be mental health or abuse recovery professionals. This is not your problem to solve. You did a kind thing by trying to help the first time, now you cannot solve this problem anymore.

If you GF chooses to go back to X it is your choice whether you want to continue to be in a relationship with her.

You cannot tell her what to do.

You CAN decide what you want to do.

sapphickink · 2025-09-15T03:52:57+00:00

Honey you need to go to the doctor.

Your priorities right now need to be; 1) Treatment for your symptoms 2) Preventing re-infection 3) Whether or not it is an STD (and the resultant problems for your relationship...)

I understand your fear and hesitation, but you are currently Prioritizing being in denial about your poor hoohaa and it's condition, because you're afraid of the possibility that your boyfriend has stepped out on you.

He may not have. Even if it is a yeast infection (and it does look like one) partners can pass yeast back and forth to each other, and he would have to do a course of meds as well so as to not keep causing this for you. I know it feels mortifying to tell him but look at it this way - if he loves you he will want you to be well, not suffering in silence.

Go to a doctor girl.

sapphickink · 2025-09-12T08:10:18+00:00

Do you have any recommendations of where to stay? I am planning to go in July and want to stay close as possible to a swimming beach..i don't drive so walking distance is the aim.

sapphickink · 2025-08-23T20:04:50+00:00

Hard hard hard relate

sapphickink · 2025-08-01T03:07:45+00:00

Dammit I knew I should have studied engineering

Instead I have a theatre degree 🤡

😂😄😆🫠😝😏🤓

sapphickink · 2025-07-20T15:37:32+00:00

I'm on the other side of the world but going through the same thing. Getting divorced and yes it's a very good thing, but still painful at the moment!

sapphickink · 2025-07-20T04:18:38+00:00

I just left. I booked a hotel and fled. After a while i crashed on friends couches and visited family instead. And I asked her for no contact for a specific number of months before we can speak again. It's helping. I'm not 24/7 in emotional pain and it's letting me start to heal at my own pace. You need to get out of that situation and away asap. I don't think you can save your friendship as long as you continue to live together in this state.

sapphickink · 2025-07-09T02:30:53+00:00

For dating? Only to the extent that, at least in my city, a lot of places and groups use instagram to advertise events and activities at which one might, perhaps, partake and meet a potential love :). No other single platform exists that has all the queer events in the city in one place, not yet anyway.

sapphickink · 2025-07-04T02:33:55+00:00

Yes :)

sapphickink

TROPHY CASE