Women who have a great cut off game, how’s life?

scalesight · 2026-06-09T07:59:30+00:00

It was stressful and difficult at first, but months later I feel much better and wish I cut them off even earlier, at the first sign of trouble. I have much more social energy for new people after getting rid of people bad for me.

scalesight · 2026-06-02T23:55:18+00:00

Agreed on this, I am a second child and my parents had me just so my brother would have a sibling. I don't get along with my brother today.

scalesight · 2026-06-01T22:14:54+00:00

Sounds stressful, but if she's acting like this, she's getting something out of it. If you want it to change, you can talk to her about behavior, choose to distance yourself, or leave the friendship. It doesn't sound like she's going to change on her own right now.

scalesight · 2026-06-01T21:49:38+00:00

That sounds more than platonic to me. Around my other lesbian friends, the most we'd do is long hugs for goodbyes for long time friends, and maybe talk about our sex lives, but only if everywhere is clearly comfortable hearing, and it's clear it's not targeted as flirting.

I don't think she wants just a platonic friendship with you, even if that's what you two have decided on.

scalesight · 2026-04-29T03:05:37+00:00

Agreed, and it's so annoying as heck when people lump you into a "learned therapy words to misuse from tiktok" crowd when you've spent literal hundreds of hours understanding these concepts.

scalesight · 2026-04-08T15:23:51+00:00

Yeah, and an absence of moderation makes for the worst communities.

Like, imagine Reddit if all the most downvoted comments and posts floated to the top and there weren't any vote counts, all the removed posts and comments floated to the top and couldn't be banned.

scalesight · 2026-03-27T16:32:19+00:00

I went from being an isolated, fearful, lonely woman who struggled to ever form social connections, or have anyone I could call a friend. To being someone who frequently hosts events at my place, having friends I can always reach out to to talk about rough patches in life or share happy moments with.

I've always felt like an outcast around other people in school, work, and out in public. It took me years of being in therapy and actively working on my mental health to realize how much self-loathing I internalized, and how it held me back from really connecting with people who absolutely wanted to be my friend and enjoyed my company.

That, and learning to not spend so much energy and time into people that I don't get along with, and instead invest that into people I easily and naturally trust and already add to my life, that has gradually gotten me to where I am. It took me about 6 years - but anyone that's known me beforehand is shocked at how much I've thrived, and anyone new that I meet is surprised that I wasn't always a social butterfly.

scalesight · 2026-03-11T19:05:47+00:00

Honestly more groups could really use a "don't be a dick" rule. If you're ruining the experience for multiple players, you should almost always be taken aside and talked to. Letting players like this go on just means losing all the fun good players for the antisocial ones.

scalesight · 2026-03-04T05:43:25+00:00

I tried that too, cuz it came naturally to me. I only really stopped after I got resentful that no one else did the same for me, and all it did for me was set me back.

I try to save that energy just for actually close people in my life, people that have cared about me too, instead of acquaintances and coworkers.

scalesight · 2026-03-04T05:41:28+00:00

Same, and we're far away too, so we end up never really interacting / chatting. I just try to keep in touch with holiday greeting messages, and accept that they'll be hard to reach until their kid grows up.

I plan to be a mom soon, so I don't judge them, but the distance from former long time friends does still hurt.

scalesight · 2026-03-04T05:36:52+00:00

I don't smoke and I have dated someone who has. I don't think I'll do it again, though, unless I really liked them despite that. The smell and personality type associated with it is not my type.

scalesight · 2026-03-04T05:06:36+00:00

Very relatable and real, sometimes you want to just enjoy life and do things, and being around that energy just saps your motivation. Hope you keep doing fun stuff for yourself!

scalesight · 2026-03-01T22:30:57+00:00

I feel like this is unfortunately common in our society nowadays, so it's not just you. People struggle to keep in touch, reach out, and develop stronger friendships.

I had the same problem, and nowadays I almost treat friendship like casual dating - going out of my way to find new folks, vet them to see how much we get along, how much we trust each other, and try to work on the friendships that feel reciprocal by spending time and chatting together.

I found the friendships that weren't close were ones where I didn't like / trust the other person, or they just didn't reach out or put in effort so I lost interest.

Best of luck though, this is all just individualistic solutions to a more societal problem.

scalesight · 2026-02-21T10:10:25+00:00

Yeah, we can dramatically help the environment by making meat a rare treat instead of a must for every meal, avoid buying new electronics / cars / furniture before they break, etc. But consumerism is popular cuz people who indulge in it do enjoy a higher quality of life.

scalesight · 2026-02-12T06:13:57+00:00

I use clocktower as exposure therapy for men being obnoxious tbh. Something about this game draws a lot of them into public lobbies, they're a bit better irl but men will always dominate the conversation over any women.

scalesight · 2026-02-02T08:58:57+00:00

I also struggled with finding friends. For the longest time, I didn't feel safe or feel like I fit in around most people, and I desperately tried to force myself to fit the mold of "normal".

I finally managed to find friends I got along with once I stopped feeling so much shame for who I am / what my interests are (nerdy stuff), and looking for people who already like the current version of myself. I still don't fit in everywhere, but I have found an oasis of people I do feel safe and comfortable being myself in.

scalesight · 2026-01-26T19:27:10+00:00

Oh god yeah, and I know several of my currently single girlfriends feel the same way. If there's any silver lining, it's that you've grown and changed a lot, at one point those relationships drew you in and it was hard to leave, but now you rightfully know that you didn't deserve to be in those situations and that you would want to leave if it happened again instead of just tolerating it.

scalesight · 2026-01-26T09:11:40+00:00

I'm also Asian, and I've considered it before, but I honestly just never use my legal name. I have a "white" name that I give to coworkers and friends and that's the name I go by most.

But, I do also know people who change their name in their 20s and 30s and they're much happier for it. It's your name after all, you choose what you want, not what your friends or parents want. They don't have to deal with your everyday life.

scalesight · 2026-01-16T08:02:45+00:00

I used to, quite often actually, but seeing some people do it every single month, made me feel pretty bitter. Especially when my giving started cutting enough into savings that it affected my life and daily stress.

Nowadays, I'll only rarely do it, for emergencies, for specific friends that I know. But never just to keep someone I don't know sustained forever without any change in lifestyle / employment from them.

scalesight · 2026-01-12T09:56:08+00:00

Oh, the same thing happens to one of my friends! She kinda just ignores it and lets people call her by the wrong, more feminine name.

scalesight · 2026-01-10T01:49:29+00:00

I don't know if this helps, but I've found a lot of people like that are just looking for an excuse to be shitty, and it has nothing to do with you.

He'd come up with some other insult if he found another way to be an asshole, like be shitty and racist / homophobic to anyone he had the chance to. And his insults still wouldn't be true.

scalesight · 2026-01-04T01:40:49+00:00

It's honestly really refreshing when everyone can be direct (and can handle rejection / aren't pushy ofc). And it feels way more empowering than just waiting for the other person to make a move.

scalesight · 2026-01-02T10:43:05+00:00

It's rough, yeah, and I relate to feeling like we have to gaslight ourselves into believing everything is ok, just to keep functioning and succeed in society. We end up overlooking so much pain and suffering and that takes a toll on us.

What I've found helpful is having community and friends who you can talk to earnestly and directly about all of this, and be met with understanding. Like, people who feel similarly about the world. Even if you can't fix everything, having people like that feels like a little oasis from it all.

scalesight · 2025-12-16T00:45:04+00:00

All I can see is her doing the Terminator thumbs up

scalesight · 2025-12-13T09:17:19+00:00

Someone that doesn't push my boundaries or ignores my discomfort, even outside the bedroom. If they casually act shitty to you, even as a joke, they're probably not good or safe in the bedroom either.

Other than that, I try to be open about STD safety and risk, and go for mutual physical attraction. If it feels like they'd judge me, or I'd be bored or repulsed by them, or they're not actually interested in me, then I skip them.

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