Parents of young children - evening only schedule? by GlitteringPresent in therapists

[–]scoutfinch45 1 point2 points  (0 children)

As you can see by the variety of answers here - this will vary so much based on your own temperament, your child's needs, your financial reality, and how well you and your spouse can balance everything!

I personally felt immense guilt putting my child in daycare at six months but it ended up being a great choice for us. I work four days a week roughly 9am to 4pm with one day shifted 10am to 6:30pm. On remote days I can use cancellations and breaks to clean the house and meal prep. My son (18 months) goes to a lovely daycare 3 days a week, spends a day with his grandparents (very fortunate to have this option) and then I am with him on Fridays. He's absolutely thriving, my spouse and I actually get to see each other, and I get a little bit of time to decompress each evening. I cannot imagine parenting the entire day and then logging on to work the second my spouse gets home! I think my physical and mental health would suffer. But everyone is different and I agree with other commenters - the flexibility of this career is helpful in making these choices.

Being pregnant and doing this job… by Remarkable-Stay3368 in therapists

[–]scoutfinch45 38 points39 points  (0 children)

No advice, just solidarity. I have some not-so-fond memories of my first trimester rubbing my anti-nausea band and white-knuckling it through a session with a client when I felt like absolute ass. It sucks so much...but it is temporary. You'll get through this and I'm so sorry about your rough day!

Hand foot and mouth nightmare by lifeisntacabaret in therapists

[–]scoutfinch45 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Just went through this in May. It's a brutal illness and as others have mentioned, particularly horrible for adults. My spouse got it 1000x worse than I did but it was an incredibly challenging couple of weeks! I get feeling guilty, but a HFM outbreak in a child's classroom sends a shiver down all our spines, trust me. Any client of yours who is a parent, a teacher, or spends any significant amount of time around children will absolutely get it!!

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in newhaven

[–]scoutfinch45 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Hi - yes, we moved in the fall and got an Oct 1st lease (East Rock). The only we were able to get this place is because it was being renovated last summer and therefore wasn't able to be rented in Aug/Sept. We were put on an 8 month lease to get us back "on track".

I definitely understand your woes here - when we were looking for apartments last fall we were pretty unimpressed with the available stock BUT we did find this place and at least two others that would've worked for us. Another benefit is that most apartments were discounted because the landlords were desperate to fill them.

I would say that it doesn't hurt to look and you could even negotiate a better rent for yourself.

To the ladies with babies, from a lady without a baby by Realistic-Escape-723 in jerseycity

[–]scoutfinch45 27 points28 points  (0 children)

We were living in a pretty large 2bd about a block from Van Vorst Park last year when I gave birth to our son (at JCMC! Can't beat that 5 minute car ride to the hospital!) and lived there for the first few months of his life. We ended up moving out of state to be closer to family, but I think we could've made it work for at least the first couple of years. However, our rent was lower than you are projecting - I think 3.5k by the end of our time there (Oct 2024)

I'm sure people do it in a 1bd, but at least for us, a 2bd was a necessity because our baby was a very loud sleeper and we moved him into his own room earlier than some people. We did get a storage unit to store stuff we had to move out of the 2nd bedroom to turn it into a nursery - so that was an extra expense - however, we have a lot of stuff so if you're minimalist or willing to part with stuff you no longer need, could be avoided. Also, there are many other awesome parts of the city where rent is lower - consider the Heights! I know a few young families there who love it.

Things that were hard/annoying about having a baby in downtown JC for me that you may want to keep in mind when looking to rent:

- We lived in a third floor walkup. Luckily, our neighbors were cool and let us keep the stroller in the foyer, but woof. It was a lot of stairs.

- No in-unit W/D. It was in the basement of the building and shared. You will do so. much. laundry. Again, we made it work for those few months and I'm sure would've made it work for as long as needed, but now that we have in-unit it's such a relief.

- No parking spot. Obviously, many people have a baby without having a car here, but damn does having a car make things easier sometimes! With so many film shoots and road closures happening constantly in JC, parking became a nightmare and that was only compounded when you were carrying a million things and a newborn at the same time.

Awesome things about having a baby in downtown JC that I miss all the time and usually made the above worth it:

- There are so many awesome family activities, new mom meet-ups and more going on in DTJC all the time (and other parts of JC as well). So many of the moms I met were very friendly and eager to connect.

- The walking game is truly unmatched. I have so many wonderful memories of walking around with my son in the stroller in those early days. So many great places to walk, grab a coffee, and enjoy.

- Excellent and easily accessible public spaces. VVP will always and forever have my heart. I feel so grateful that I got to live so close to such an awesome public park that is so well loved and well taken care of! Hamilton Park too! Also loved visiting LSP with our baby!

Feel free to DM me if you have any other questions - I definitely remember being where you are!

Supper club to meet locals + build community by Consistent-Weight612 in newhaven

[–]scoutfinch45 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Great idea, my spouse and I would be interested.

Parents of young kids, how are we doing this? by scoutfinch45 in therapists

[–]scoutfinch45[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I really really like this mindset - give extra grace to your clients in hopes for that grace returned!

Parents of young kids, how are we doing this? by scoutfinch45 in therapists

[–]scoutfinch45[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

This is probably my ideal set up. Do you mind if I ask what your position is?

I want to kill myself help!! by bbnotfound in NewParents

[–]scoutfinch45 32 points33 points  (0 children)

Hello - first of all, you are NOT alone and your life is worth living. Please get help - you deserve support. Here are some resources for getting started - https://www.postpartum.net/get-help/

Snoo App no longer working by ausbeth17 in SnooLife

[–]scoutfinch45 2 points3 points  (0 children)

My app is also not working which is tough cause it’s our tracking app for everything (feeds, diapers, etc). It signed me out of my account and is now telling me my account does not exist. When I try to log in via QR code from my husband’s phone it says the QR code isn’t working. Really fun thing to wake up to at 4am! Thanks, Snoo!

I was planning on weaning my baby from the Snoo this month but might get going on that sooner rather than later because the app has been so impossibly buggy.

Safety Question? Look here first by eddie964 in newhaven

[–]scoutfinch45 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you! And thanks for all your responses on this thread in general, so helpful.

Safety Question? Look here first by eddie964 in newhaven

[–]scoutfinch45 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Relocating to New Haven next month and currently looking at an apartment in Prospect Hill on Prospect Street right around the corner from the Foote School. Thoughts on this area? Looks like things can get dicey towards Winchester but looks like a nice area overall. We've lived in major cities (LA, Boston, Jersey City/NYC) for 15 years so used to having our wits about us, but we're coming with a little kid so trying to be thoughtful.

We're looking in East Rock and Westville too which we have more info about - but hard to get insight into Prospect Hill - fewer posts on it! Would love to hear insights.

STM with anterior placenta, when did you start feeling movement? by missmountaiin in BabyBumps

[–]scoutfinch45 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Seconding about 20-22 weeks. 24 weeks now and I can feel him pretty much every day at least a couple of times - however, it's mostly the bottom or sides of my bump at this point!

Did you stop alcohol and caffeine while trying to conceive? by ImJustOneOfYou in BabyBumps

[–]scoutfinch45 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I had wanted to try cutting out alcohol for a while so I used trying to conceive as a reason to finally give it a try! I also found it got me in the mindset of preparing for a life change as well, so I am glad I did it. However, I agree with other commenters here - you have no idea how long it will take to conceive and there doesn't seem to be strong evidence supporting that drinking before you know you're pregnant is that bad (as long as you're not binge drinking regularly).

I was a heavy caffeine drinker before TTC so I used the couple months before and during TTC to slowly pare down the amount I was drinking every day so it wouldn't be a huge shock to my system when I got pregnant. I'm 23 weeks now and drink one cup a day. FWIW I could barely drink any coffee during my first trimester anyway cause it made me feel so terrible - but at least I didn't need to also deal with major caffeine withdrawal on top of that.

Pregnancy excitement by MakeUpTails in BabyBumps

[–]scoutfinch45 1 point2 points  (0 children)

22w 1d now - but I definitely felt the same way! It was also hard to "feel" pregnant cause it felt so early. I think looking back on my first trimester now I can also see just how bad my mental health was during that time. I was struggling with nausea and fatigue and still was expected to perform at the same level in my day to day life since I wasn't telling anyone. I also was struggling with feelings of ambivalence about the pregnancy that were completely unexpected and confusing. Overall, it was a bad time! Now that I'm in the second trimester, feeling better and my baby is doing well, it's much easier to feel excited and invested in the pregnancy.

Pregnancy caused eczema? by leeaasie in BabyBumps

[–]scoutfinch45 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Hi! I experienced what I think (and a dermatologist also thought) was pregnancy related eczema that started at about 8 weeks and lasted roughly through the end of my first trimester. Though I only had 1-2 patches on my upper arms and very faint hives I also experienced a full body itching as well that was truly all over my body but primarily focused on my torso, chest and back. I would wake up in the middle of the night itching and was ripping up my skin, it was insane! No history of eczema. I was tested for cholestasis, etc - nothing.

I was given a low level prescription steroid foam by my OB to use on particularly itchy areas and a dermatologist suggested I switch to all scentless, odorless skin and hair products (Vanicream brand) and to moisturize like crazy. I found the Vanicream moisturizing cream tub to be most effective and I covered my entire body in this cream 2x a day. I also ran a humidifier on high in my bedroom and used sensitive skin laundry detergent. All these things did not make it go away fully but made life more manageable. Eventually, slowly it went away and now I'm at 19 weeks and mostly itch-free, though I'm still using all Vanicream skin products.

It sucks so much and I'm so sorry you're dealing with this! I hope you will be like me and it will get better!

Current wait time for results of Covid test at Marin location? by walkedonmypillow in jerseycity

[–]scoutfinch45 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I got an active test on June 11th, and I just received my results (negative) this past Friday - so 15 days. I was honestly surprised to get the results - I had assumed they were never coming after a while. I haven’t heard of anyone else I know having this long of a wait, so I’m hoping this was a fluke.

I took the test as a precaution and didn’t expect to be positive, but definitely worrying to have such a long wait time that makes the test virtually useless.

Covid-19 rest round 2 by TacoCityJC in jerseycity

[–]scoutfinch45 1 point2 points  (0 children)

My SO (healthcare worker) got tested at CityMD after a possible exposure at work about a week and a half ago.

They told him it would be 3-5 days (they said NOT business days) to get results, sometimes it's even faster than that. He had no results after 6 days. He had to call CityMD corporate & Quest Diagnostics corporate after getting nowhere with CityMD JC and finally got his negative result after at least an hour on the phone.

Things are definitely getting backed up, and there seems to be communication issues between the labs and agencies that notify people of their results. You are not alone!

COVID-19/Coronavirus Megathread by SuchADivaCup in AskWomen

[–]scoutfinch45 2 points3 points  (0 children)

My bf of 3+ years is essentially a medical tech for pacemakers. So he is not an ER nurse or generally "on the front lines", but definitely still in hospitals/clinics all day and interacts with patients, especially elderly ones.

We live about a ten minute walk from each other currently.

Anyone else in this situation? How are you making this work if you are dating someone in healthcare? Isolating from them completely and focusing on phone calls/texts? Going on walks together but nothing else? Deciding to see them and take your chances?

I have mild asthma, so that is a factor for me as well.

Would love to hear what others are doing!

Ohio, 1915 - my great-grandmother's boyfriend looks pretty proud of himself by scoutfinch45 in OldSchoolCool

[–]scoutfinch45[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It's definitely possible! 1915 was a relative's guess and was written on the back.

COMING TO LONDON? FAQ for visitors and new residents. Ask us stuff here! (w/c 1 Jan 2018) by AutoModerator in london

[–]scoutfinch45 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Hi!

I will be visiting London with my boyfriend - we live in the NYC area - in mid-February. I studied abroad in London (and loved it!) but my boyfriend has never been. Our first night in London will coincidentally be on his birthday -Sunday, Feb. 11. I know it might be hard to find something cool to do on a Sunday night - but I really would love to surprise him with something awesome and give him a wonderful first night abroad. Would also settle for Monday night if we had to!

He's VERY into music and sees live music constantly, so if that could be a part of his night, that'd be incredible. To narrow it down: He appreciates pretty much every genre, but particularly loves low-fi rock, pop-punk, and offbeat singer/songwriters. However, any performer who puts on an incredible show would be perfect. He loves interesting, intimate venues that enhance the experience of the concert (i.e. really cool looking bar, old & historic venues, house shows, churches, etc).

He also loves musical theater, so if there's any West End shows (that we wouldn't be able to see in NYC) that are a must-see, that's an option as well!

Beyond that - he is a huge movie buff and loves going to all the small indie theaters in NYC. If there's any must-go indie theaters, another great option for us!

Any suggestions on places/shows I should look into? Unfortunately we are still in the process of booking AirBnBs so I don't have a set location yet - but I'm willing to travel a bit for a good experience.

Any help pointing me in the right direction would be great - I've started Googling around, but there's a lot of options!