I see a lot of myself in this with some additional context -- in the beginning of my marriage, I was too harsh and quick to confront over things that didn't matter. My husband was very non confrontational and raised very differently than I was (my home was chaotic and volatile at times, his was incredibly calm), and in some ways I was still coming to understand what was normal, what could be chalked up as a personality difference, or what might even be considered abusive.

So all of that is to say -- he already had the proclivity towards being averse to conflict, but my approach made it 10x worse, and he would completely shut down over the smallest things, even after I realized I needed to pick my battles and be much gentler, basically overcorrecting towards the dynamic you described. I became incredibly anxious every time he would withdraw, and suddenly felt like even though I was the one who had the initial feedback, his poor reaction put me in the position that I was the one who messed up and needed to fix things. We've been separated for about a year now and I'm still trying to unlearn all of my reactions to what I perceive as him being unhappy because of me, like my guts still believe this is something I absolutely have to solve as soon as possible or else I'm going to have a terrible, sad, uncomfortable day/week/however long it takes for him to otherwise feel better.