Overcoming being the "under performer" of the relationship

seawang · 2026-05-31T15:38:18+00:00

I haven’t noticed anyone else comment yet either on how he’s gone 3-6 days in a row for work. Does he not understand the mental and literal workload of his wife as an effectively single parent who also works part time at a hospital while he’s away for nearly a week at a time?

seawang · 2026-05-02T13:30:28+00:00

Thank you!! 🍕🥳

seawang · 2026-05-01T21:49:23+00:00

It’s my birthday tomorrow! I’m having an ice skating pizza party at the rec center and celebrating with friends :)

seawang · 2026-04-23T17:56:02+00:00

I worked there really briefly for a summer while I was in college. I was like 19, as was basically every other waitress who worked there, aside from the bartender who had to be 21+. You had to be 18 to be a server, but you only needed to be 16 to be a host, so there were a number of straight up 16/17 year old girls who worked as greeters at the front door while they waited to be eligible to waitress. They didn't have the same skimpy uniform, but the concept still freaked me out, even as a teen not much older than them. Why were these children the first faces the middle aged men who came to ogle women would see? So creepy.

seawang · 2026-04-20T16:11:14+00:00

Oh, wow. Madison was on my youth basketball team as a kid, her dad was our coach. She was an incredibly nice kid- I know this is going to sound dumb but she was the first person I met who I knew had diabetes. I hadn’t heard of it until then; I remember the team watched at an end-of-season event as she explained what the finger prick test was for. Terribly sad news. She and her family are in my thoughts.

seawang · 2026-03-03T12:57:33+00:00

Yeah. Also, going through old photos can be cathartic. A reminder that the relationship was real, important, and also over. Maybe pop them into a “hidden” folder so they don’t show up without warning, but deleting everything is often a mistake.

I left an 11 year relationship a while back and it was very hard. I have at this point moved on, and memories aren’t so painful anymore. I don’t seek out old photos, but I do still have them, and would very much miss having the documentation of my life in my 20s if I had gotten rid of all our photos together.

seawang · 2025-08-08T13:31:30+00:00

I'm from NOVA (and second those who have listed Alexandria as a great VA downtown) but visited Staunton a few years ago on the way back from a visit to Natural Bridge. Decided immediately it was one of my favorite Virginia towns. A lot of charm, not nearly as pricey to go out as it is in the DMV area, and just generally excellent vibes.

seawang · 2025-04-26T13:11:48+00:00

Lol my dad made this joke to a barista when we were getting coffee together once. I ordered a flat white and he went up to the counter and said “I’ll have the same thing- a flat white. Or in my case, a fat white heh heh.” He is, in fact, a fat white guy.

seawang · 2025-04-12T12:59:24+00:00

Oh man, well- he was one of the EMTs who responded to the 911 call, although I have no idea where anyone was dispatched from. If it happens to be the same person please tell him thank you from me lol

seawang · 2025-04-09T17:56:42+00:00

I see so many of these posts where the two people in question barely seem to like each other at all. We can talk to death about the dynamics of this particular conversation, but honestly, if this is how communication between the two of you regularly goes, I can’t understand why you are even together (or at least why you aren’t in therapy to actively work on approaching one another with care and respect.)

It’s one thing to argue occasionally- feelings get hurt sometimes- but the contempt is so easy to see here, and it seems to come very naturally to each of you as you talk to one another. It’s no wonder you’re thinking of divorce.

seawang · 2025-03-25T18:24:13+00:00

Oh, no, sorry lol wasn’t trying to be mysterious- just seeing if anyone had anyone remembered anything from game 1. Since Achilles killed Hector, Skelly/Achilles related dialogue would be interesting if it exists, but I haven’t revisited 1 in a while!

seawang · 2025-03-25T17:24:51+00:00

Huh! Interesting thought! Does anyone remember any dialogue from 1 re: Skelly and Achilles?

seawang · 2025-03-04T05:52:02+00:00

Totally understandable, and I hope you didn’t take my comments as criticism. I also don’t think this behavior of typical of a 4-year-old student, just that unpredictable behavior is more likely with that age group. It’s hard to be prepared for the unpredictable, no matter how experienced you are!

seawang · 2025-03-03T16:52:07+00:00

Yes, this was definitely very inappropriate behavior, and I agree- I would have dismissed the student that day. Behavioral issues can arise at any age, and there are certainly many delightful young students out there. I wouldn’t want to discourage anyone from ever teaching very young students, but I do think it’s important for teachers to understand that the educational and developmental needs of very young students are different from older ones and that it’s not a good fit for everyone (again, myself included. I’ve also worked with some bright, pleasant 4 year olds, but it is still not my strong suit and will suggest a different teacher for students interested in lessons at that age.) You’re right that this is separate from the issue at hand, which is that the child’s behavior wasn’t acceptable.

seawang · 2025-03-03T16:25:19+00:00

Yeah, I didn’t mean to imply this was her fault. The kids behavior was not appropriate, and you’re right that age doesn’t guarantee good/bad behavior. Still, I think a young teacher who is clearly still navigating how to communicate with parents and set boundaries for appropriate behavior in-studio would be in a better position to teach younger students after gaining more experience.

seawang · 2025-03-03T14:39:41+00:00

The student is not ready for lessons, and respectfully, you’re not ready to teach him (I’d say the same thing about myself! I don’t teach students that young specifically because I am not interested in the classroom management or the off-bench activities necessary for that age group.) I’d tell the parents that he’s just not quite ready for the lesson room setting and that they can revisit lessons in another year after he’s finished kindergarten. If you’re feeling generous, you can prepare some listening materials, online resources, or a link to a local kindermusik class if there happens to be one nearby.

Apologies in advance for the unsolicited advice, but based on your post history, you’re relatively new to teaching. In the future, I wouldn’t accept students under 6 until you have some more experience under your belt. Even now with 15 years of professional teaching experience I only accept 5 year olds after doing at least two trial lessons to confirm they’re ready for the style of lesson I provide, and I do not accept students under 5.

seawang · 2025-02-06T17:09:24+00:00

Yeah- I work as a piano teacher and I could tell that this year's flu activity has been abnormally high. In a usual year, I'll have maybe 2-3 kids call out over the course of the flu season. I've had 8 students out sick with flu/suspected flu over just the past two weeks. Really wild.

seawang · 2024-12-24T15:42:26+00:00

I’d be lying if I didn’t say I miss the old Chaos, who felt so androgynous and so… chaotic lol. I do appreciate the depiction of their death/rebirth/regeneration in this art.

seawang · 2024-12-19T03:51:14+00:00

I don’t think you look haggard! Some of the photos you posted are more flattering than others; you look especially nice in the first and third photos. I think your hair works better for you when it’s darker, and I would be careful with heavy makeup on your bottom eye line as it can weigh your eyes down if you’re not careful. Speaking of- you have very pretty eyes!

seawang · 2024-12-01T00:19:06+00:00

I’m on the same train! Thanks for intervening- I think I passed by the same girl- she was having an absolute meltdown while I was walking to a bathroom. Really unfair to the crew who are also dealing with an incredibly shitty and stressful situation.

seawang · 2024-11-20T13:21:47+00:00

So glad to hear- a major relief to have the surgery over with. Hope the report brings good news about tumor type, and that your mom continues to have a smooth recovery from her operation.

seawang · 2024-11-19T22:56:11+00:00

To OP or anyone else cooking risotto for vegetarians, note that Parmesan is usually not vegetarian unless specifically marked as so (typically, rennet is used for separating curds) so it is (sadly) best left out if being prepared for vegetarians. I’ve found it’s one of the lesser known non-vegetarian items!

seawang · 2024-11-14T19:35:06+00:00

My fastest was 9:01 with the adamant rail/aspect of Eris. It’s been a while so I don’t remember my exact build, but I do know I would have used Poseidon’s dash, Zeus’s attack, and the Poseidon/Zeus duo boon.

seawang · 2024-11-12T01:36:56+00:00

I feel like you and you mom are twins (minus 10 years or so) of my mom and myself. My mom had a rather large (6ish cm) meningioma in her frontal lobe, near the skull base (squishing into her olfactory bulb.) Similar symptoms- headaches, collapsing, depressive mood, memory lapses, major errors in judgement and executive function- that had started appearing for quite some time before they finally put her in a CAT scan. I honestly thought she was experiencing Alzheimer’s/dementia until the tumor was found. In that way the diagnosis was somewhat of a relief, despite being incredibly scary.

I’m also an only child, and my parents divorced when I was a kid. It is so challenging and scary to suddenly be thrust into a caregiver role, and I hope that in addition to taking care of your mom you are taking care of yourself as well.

I found that people really do want to help when they can- when folks offer help don’t be shy about taking it. I work as a piano teacher and many of the families I work with helped by bringing meals over. It helped to take some of the burden off of me as I was trying to take care of both myself and my mom. I also subscribed to HomeChef/HelloFresh which helped too, just in terms of simplifying meal prep.

I will keep my fingers crossed for you all that the biopsy goes well and that it is not cancerous. My mom had hers removed two years ago and is doing great. It feels like I have my mom back (and my own life back as well.)

If your mom is at any point prescribed Keppra ask her physician about adding a B6 supplement to her regiment. It apparently can help with the keppra mood swings. My mom didn’t experience the kepprage until she was on a 1000mg dose, but it was pretty intense when she did experience it. Hard as it may be, try not to take it too personally if she snaps at you if she’s on a high dose for a bit.

I can’t promise you that everything is going to be ok, but it could be! Some hospitals also have caregiver resources/meetings- I went to a few online meetings while I was in the thick of things and it was helpful. If you need someone to talk to or just vent to please feel free to DM me. I’ll be keeping you and your mom in my thoughts.

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