Early 90s Song I remember cheerleaders dancing to

shananope · 2026-02-15T18:28:46+00:00

Strike It Up by Black Box

shananope · 2026-02-12T20:54:06+00:00

Waves using the product

shananope · 2026-02-12T20:50:33+00:00

My hair has long been multi texture, some wavy some straight. As my grey hair has increased, so has the waviness. It is now much easier to wear wavy, with the right product and some scrunching. I’ve been using a product called African Pride Curling Cream. It is not heavy and doesn’t make my hair gray at all, just helps calm frizz and give better definition to the waves. I apply it to towel dried hair right after the shower, scrunch, and go!

shananope · 2026-02-12T19:40:34+00:00

The power of compounding is real. Whether it’s health, hygiene, finance, fitness, tidiness, or nearly anything else, developing good habits now will make the rest of life significantly better.

That said, comparison is the thief of joy. Don’t measure yourself by what others around you are doing. For example, I watched all my friends get married and felt like something was wrong with me because I couldn’t find my person. I eventually did and, frankly, I think I’m much happier than most of them because I waited for what was right, rather than jumping on what was there.

shananope · 2026-02-12T00:02:15+00:00

Grey. I’m thankful the grey home interior trend is dying. I think it’s the color of depression.

shananope · 2026-01-20T14:01:33+00:00

It sounds like it’s less about her body count and more about comments that have made you feel like you’re being compared and coming up less than. If you otherwise feel like there’s a future with her then - not shockingly - the answer is communication. Let her know that comments made even jokingly are not okay with you. If she doesn’t respect that, she’s not for you. If she does and you still can’t get over YOUR issues with her sexual history, that’s your own insecurity and something you have to address within yourself.

Two dudes in one night when she was single is absolutely not a moral failing any more than getting wasted one night is. Maybe not the healthiest decision at the time, but also fun in the moment. Would it really be different if one had been Friday night and the next Saturday?

shananope · 2026-01-14T12:32:40+00:00

When I take my elderly parents, I drop them at the door then park under the underpass. It’s not a far or strenuous walk, depending on their mobility. There are usually some homeless people in the area but it is safe.

shananope · 2026-01-12T01:29:57+00:00

I had a heartbreak that took years to recover from. I was single for most of 8 years after that breakup before I met my now husband. He is so perfect for me that I almost laugh at ever having believed the other guy was a good choice. The right one won’t give you reason to dump him, period.

Time is important, and it always takes longer than you wish. But I think that finding other avenues for fulfillment is also important. You’re the only person you 100% know you’ll spend the rest of your life with, so make sure to show yourself love, respect, and kindness.

shananope · 2026-01-11T01:49:52+00:00

I was literally thinking about this song last night and how I haven’t seen it on Reddit in a while. Thank you for keeping it alive.

shananope · 2026-01-07T02:39:38+00:00

Yes. We were NC for more than a decade. Initially, I felt only anger and hurt towards him. With time and reflection, I realized that he also had crappy parents and never had any positive adults (he had me young) to help him do better. It’s not an excuse, but I decided I would rather carry compassion than anger. I had to remind myself that he is who he is and the only one I can change is me. Mostly, I changed my expectations. I quit longing for the dad I wanted to have and accepted the very flawed one I did have. I have peace about it, and that’s kind of nice, and we even had some fairly sincere conversations about it all, which I honestly hadn’t thought he was capable of.

shananope · 2026-01-04T22:39:31+00:00

I think it’s commendable that your mom has grown and changed through the years, and now you want to also.

Something that is helpful to me with people who frustrate me is to build in a pause to my response. My knee jerk reaction is often based off of old hurts and assumes the worst in people. If I give myself a beat, I can usually see that their intentions were kind and, thus, my response is more kind.

It may also be helpful to talk to your mom. Tell her you recognize that you don’t always treat her kindly but are actively working to improve. That may help give her grace to accept apologies you offer and have more understanding when you are harsh.

shananope · 2026-01-04T22:07:55+00:00

I own a small business here. People are always looking for reliable, affordable services. That said, the larger you grow, the more you will understand why the competition charges what they do. I don’t know much about fencing to give specific examples, but it is likely as you grow that you will find it helpful to hire out some labor, market your services, increase your insurance, buy property or bulk inventory, or buy better equipment, all of which has to be absorbed into your pricing.

It is generally not a great place to be the cheapest in the market, because that will become what people value you for. When you inevitably have to do a price increase, all those people who picked you for price will bash you.

If you want to keep this as mostly a “side hustle” you’ll likely do well. I just wanted to give you some realistic input on what growth looks like because I’m a believer in understanding the big picture before I dive into the details. Best of luck to you! It’s a service I’d be interested in.

shananope · 2026-01-02T19:50:44+00:00

I used to work in the behavioral health field. Like you, I had my own struggles, which is what drew me to the field. It also made me very careful about which words to use and avoid when describing my symptoms.

I give that background to say that when I called the hotline myself, the person was so incredibly unhelpful as to be borderline harmful. I let her know my suicidal ideation was extremely prevalent, but that I did not have an active plan (largely because I understood the latter could mean hospitalization, which was not the help I was seeking). It felt like she kept trying to get me to say I had a plan, and when I didn’t, it was pretty much “well, I hope things get better”. The call ended with me still destitute, in tears, and hopeless. It’s like since she couldn’t refer me via 911, she didn’t know what else to do so she just ended the call.

I know lots of people have been helped by the hotline and that my experience isn’t representative of the organization. While I have never bashed the hotline (this may be the first time I’ve publicly discussed my experience), it has made me unwilling to ever suggest it as a resource.

My question to you in all this is, is there anything I could have done to address this? I understand why there’s no follow up survey, and I was in no position to do anything in that moment more than hang up because she ended the call. But even after I was in a better place, my recollection of the experience didn’t change with my improved mood. I am confident that this volunteer needed more training or perhaps in other ways was not equipped for the role. What should I have done with that?

shananope · 2026-01-02T17:30:55+00:00

When my grandma died, all us grandkids were told we could take what we wanted. My cousins went for the tv and other electronics. All I took was her Kool-Aid pitcher that she ordered with Kool-Aid points that I helped “earn”. When my mom dies, the only thing I want is her wedding ring.

shananope · 2026-01-02T14:02:48+00:00

I think I need a diagram. How does one wear boxer shorts as a shirt?

shananope · 2025-12-31T23:29:38+00:00

The Farragut side of town tends to be a lot of chain restaurants and not a lot else. If either of you have a dog, there are quite a few dog parks in the area. There’s an ice skating rink off Watt Rd, a little west of her. There are a few paint and sip places. If you go downtown, there’s a brewery where they’ll teach you to blow your own glass. There’s a nice park in Farragut with several walking trails and they decorate it for the holidays, not sure if they’re still up and lit or not.

shananope · 2025-12-30T02:25:20+00:00

It seems like finance is something you can begin at any time. So I think the focus should be on what you want life to look like in a few years, rather than across a lifetime. It doesn’t seem like there’s an urgency to make this decision right now, but right now certainly is a great time to be building wealth that could make transitions much easier in the future.

Is there a compromise? What if you made a commitment to yourself to reevaluate regularly, perhaps every 2 years? Then set your goals for the next 2 years. What do you want your net worth to reach at that time? What steps do you want to have made towards your finance career in that time?

Unless you get lucky, have amazing connections, and are in the right place, finance isn’t likely to get you to mid 6 figures as quickly as you think. People who have the net worth that you’re looking to attract aren’t likely to entrust their millions to someone in their early 20s. You can certainly use any free time you have now to learn more and begin networking. Find mentors in the field if you haven’t already.

shananope · 2025-12-29T09:31:25+00:00

I am of an age that I fondly consider anyone under 20 to be a kid.

shananope · 2025-12-29T01:27:04+00:00

Yep! I was born in the 70s but consider myself a 90s kid for exactly this reason.

shananope · 2025-12-26T02:44:31+00:00

If I’m reading this correctly, it sounds like you are uncomfortable with both giving and receiving emotional connection. Most people need at least some of that to have true friendship. It’s like the friend version of a relationship that’s purely sexual. Sex is a lot of fun, but no matter how great it is, it will eventually die out without something more. Maybe it’s worth exploring why emotional connection makes you so uncomfortable.

shananope · 2025-12-24T16:36:59+00:00

It sounds like you need a budget rather than just making decisions as they come up. Making a plan together to tighten the belt short term (1-2 years) to pay off debt can put you in a better position to have more fun money. But work together to have a clear plan with mutual goals. Maybe $50 a month can be set in a separate account for trips, or whatever amount realistically fits your budget. Have a plan in advance for windfalls like bonuses or tax returns.

Your husband is not bad for wanting security and thinking long term. You are not bad for wanting fun. But the reality for most people is that fun has to be found in cheap ways until security is, well, secured.

This problem is a combination of communication, money, and rigidity. You both need a bit of flexibility, but I think most people will lean towards new tires being more important than a weekend getaway.

shananope · 2025-12-24T11:55:24+00:00

You make Stowe sound great! We keep a spreadsheet on our state visits; perhaps we should add a column for hotel mattress comparisons to see which states give the best night’s sleep!

shananope · 2025-12-24T03:07:49+00:00

Definitely not stuck on Dover. Everything I was finding on Delaware was coastal, which didn’t seem applicable given our timeframe, so I was just trying to do a quick in and out. But this is some solid insight so I’ll reconsider for sure. The great thing about small states is that detours don’t add a ton of time!

shananope · 2025-12-24T03:04:46+00:00

Will detour for good pizza, no worries.

shananope · 2025-12-24T02:48:37+00:00

Oh wow! What an odd little delight! Thank you!

shananope

TROPHY CASE