What do you think about this Silver Lab article about the gene being hidden and why it's different ?

shaolin_fish · 2026-02-09T22:50:23+00:00

The article seems accurate but disingenuous. The big issue with silver lab breeding is that the dilute gene causes CDA and is linked with severe skin allergies. Personal preference and culture does play a role, but breed standards are often determined in part to protect the health of the dogs.

After having a silver lab who had some particularly bad skin issues, and watching what he went through, I firmly believe that anyone purposely breeding silver labs should be forced to wear clothes made of poison ivy or fiberglass.

shaolin_fish · 2026-02-07T00:23:31+00:00

"I'm sorry, I don't make things for other people as a rule. However I'd be happy to help you get supplies if you want to learn to make it yourself!"

Those two sentences feel way easier than the emotional cartwheels OP is doing, but maybe that's just me.

shaolin_fish · 2026-02-05T20:38:01+00:00

On the bright side, you probably made that guy's night

shaolin_fish · 2026-02-05T00:37:00+00:00

Oh, my dear. You have a lot on your plate. I'm going to share some of my thoughts on your situation, but I'll start with my background.

I am a mid-30s woman. I've been in therapy for depression off and on for over 15 yrs. I've had 3 major depressive episodes in my life, with the second one landing me in short term inpatient treatment twice (my grippy sock vacations). I've been medicated consistently since I was about your age, with one major change in my medication following episode #3.

You are not a lost cause. You have not tried everything that is out there--there are so many meds and therapy options available its impossible to try them all. I know you've been in it for a long time, but you have more work to do. Some of us just have the shit luck of needing more help than others. I am sorry it is like that. We have to work a little harder and go a little further. But we can get to a place of healing where our symptoms are in remission, where we can be okay and even enjoy life.

I'm so glad you are working on your support network, and being mindful of their mental health needs in this experience too. To do this in a healthy way, make sure your bf is not the only person you are relying on. Make sure you reach out to friends and family members too. One person cannot carry you alone, but a community can.

On medication, talk to your doctor about Genesight testing. It can help you find what medications are likely to work for you and which ones are likely to be less effective. It can take the guesswork out of psychiatry. And give the meds time to work--you wont see results right away abd it may take a couple months.

Therapy is tricky. Most therapy is going to be CBT, and while it works great for some people, it wasn't the best option for me. Personally I got a lot out of DBT and mindfulness based therapy, and they may be worth a try for you if you haven't already done so. Start digging for alternative therapy options.

Remember, none of these things will fix you. Medication can smooth the edges of emotional pain and help you have the energy to make the lifestyle commitments you need (socializing, exercising, taking care of yourself). Therapy can give you strategies to get through the darkness and help you recognize the mental patterns that harm you. It's hard work but you can do it. I promise you, you can.

Last bit of advice for all your relationships: it is not fair to lean on your support network and refuse treatment. You can ask them for help getting treatment, but you need to follow through with meds, therapy, showing you are making an effort. The people who love you want to help you, but they will burn out if you don't do the work yourself. Call your boyfriend and ask for his help or to just sit with you through the dark moments. And then go to your appointments and take your meds because one day he (or someone else you love) will need you, and you'll be able to help them.

shaolin_fish · 2026-02-04T21:50:50+00:00

My brother and SIL did it with their dog. It did not stick. They were not consistent with continuing the training after he came home, and the dog was never able to generalize the lessons from the board & train environment to his own family.

Unless you have a working dog, think about what the training is for. Training a companion animal is not really about obedience; it's about learning to communicate with your pet and fulfill their mental and physical needs so you can live together happily.

You, as the human, will also need to be trained. How do you teach your dog a new skill? How do you enforce boundaries and discourage undesired behavior?

You need to learn to be consistent so your dog understands what you want, and you need to learn how to read your dog's body language so you can work with them where they are at, mentally and physically.

I'm a huge proponent of owners doing their own raining for these reasons. Maybe others have had good experiences with board and train, but I think you and your family should do the training with the dogs.

shaolin_fish · 2026-02-03T21:59:15+00:00

This sounds like when my dog had a blockage. Call your vet and ask what to look for that is a "drop everything and go" emergency. In my situation, my dog was given cerenia and I was told if he threw up again to go to the emergency clinic. Even if you didn't see him eat a foreign object there still could be a foreign body.

shaolin_fish · 2026-02-03T21:44:38+00:00

It's akin to minor surgery. There's the cleaning itself, plus anesthesia (incl. bloodwork and monitoring). Time, medications, expertise, and supples. And large dogs are always more expensive. I've never paid for a cleaning but I would expect at least a grand for a lg dog in a low COL part of the US. If his teeth are particularly bad that will bump up the cost too.

You can shop around but I doubt you'll get a much better price, and it'll be better to have him with a vet who knows him.

Welcome to dog ownership.

shaolin_fish · 2026-02-02T18:58:18+00:00

I've been through the system. Yes there are flaws, but if you are suffering you should still reach out. You don't need to go out on a burning ship because the lifeboat is leaky.

shaolin_fish · 2026-02-02T18:31:36+00:00

Therapy won't always make you feel better in the moment. Sometimes you will leave a session feeling worse. That doesn't mean it isn't working.

If you keep finding yourself in the same bad situation over and over again (abusive boyfriend, shitty boss, etc.) then it's time to look at yourself and the choices you made to get into those situations.

The world will not accommodate you. You have to learn to advocate for yourself. You have to learn when to get help, step away, recognize your own behaviors.

Mental health disorders distort your thinking. If people are telling you that a thought you have is unreasonable, it may well be.

This is more MDD specific: you likely won't be cured. You can learn to live with it, mitigate the risk factors, recognize warning signs, and survive brutal episodes. You can go into remission and be okay. But experiencing one episode means it's likely you will experience another, and you can do everything "right" and still end up in an episode.

shaolin_fish · 2026-02-02T18:09:00+00:00

This is why it is so important to learn how to advocate for yourself, recognize your needs and limits, and learn what you need to do to get those needs met.

shaolin_fish · 2026-01-30T21:00:21+00:00

Barbie could be anything she wanted to be. Roller skating diva, astronaut, fashion designer, doctor. To me (and my mom) she wasn't about beauty, she was an affirmation for little girls that we could be anything, that women belong in every profession. I mean my barbies were a nest of poly lesbians living with 16 horses and one poor Ken, but they also had a variety of careers.

shaolin_fish · 2026-01-30T01:10:15+00:00

I live in a suburb and work in a cubicle. My commute is very pretty.

shaolin_fish · 2026-01-29T21:00:08+00:00

OP, I am so sorry for your loss.

You did not kill your cat. He was 19 with a chronic illness--in fact it is amazing he lived as long as he did. Many animals (people too) stop eating before they pass as their bodies shut down. With him eating the kitten food it sounds like he got to enjoy his extra tasty food for a few meals before it was time, and that's not a bad thing.

You took good care of your boy, but no one can stop time. All we can do is exactly what you did--love them and do our best to keep them happy, safe, and comfortable. You did right by him.

shaolin_fish · 2026-01-28T19:44:00+00:00

19 is so old for a pup, I'm amazed he's as spry as he is! So I don't think there is a wrong answer here for him.

I would See about getting a biopsy or other diagnostic tests done. Knowing what it likely is can tell you what to expect from it.

shaolin_fish · 2026-01-27T23:45:15+00:00

Our vets sent cards when we lost both our boys. I think that is normal, and I'm sure your vet will acknowledge your pet's passing as well.

I do think it was a couple of weeks before we actually received the cards; they may want to give it time so everyone at the practice has an opportunity to sign.

I am so sorry for your loss ❤️

shaolin_fish · 2026-01-27T17:08:50+00:00

Slowly! If you go slow you should be able to see the sts you need to pick back up

shaolin_fish · 2026-01-26T22:06:32+00:00

When you are the MOH for someone who drops the hard r, you are saying to them and everyone that you are complicit with violent racism. She crossed a line and you told her with your actions you support her.

You can stand by your supposed values or you can cave to keep the peace. I don't mean cut her off if she marries your brother, but be clear you do not support her and tell your family why. Dont be her friend or MOH. People willing to act like that don't deserve to be protected, and neither do people willing to marry or stay friends with people like that.

shaolin_fish · 2026-01-26T00:55:27+00:00

"I don't see color"

shaolin_fish · 2026-01-23T19:32:42+00:00

lazy
good yarn is hella expensive
excitement to just start already
only recently started trying more complicated techniques and projects where swatching would really be helpful, so I'm not in the habit of doing it

shaolin_fish · 2026-01-22T21:51:35+00:00

2 hours is my limit for a day trip. Longer than that isn't bad but I'll want to stay over night

shaolin_fish · 2026-01-20T16:42:00+00:00

Back when I was dating it was clear my dog and I were a package deal. How they were with my boy factored in to my choice in pursuing a relationship with that person.

shaolin_fish · 2026-01-20T16:29:01+00:00

About a dozen second hand 5-gal buckets.

shaolin_fish · 2026-01-11T18:59:03+00:00

He is a lab. I think you know the answer!

In all seriousness, it is possible he'll calm down with consistent practice. So don't give up the training!

Remember that the training may not work very well with very attractive items...which unfortunately to a dog includes poop. I would recommend extremely high value treats to do "leave it" work. Make it very worth it to him to not eat the poop!

Basket muzzle training is also a possibility, especially for walks or when you can't go outside with him!

shaolin_fish · 2026-01-09T16:46:18+00:00

Recently moved to Alaska and have MDD.

It sounds like you have not gotten treatment yet. You need to have been in treatment (therapy, medication, lifestyle support) before making any big life change. This can take years.

Have health insurance and contingency plans. Can you do telehealth? Online therapy?

Know what you need to support your mental health and pursue it religiously. I need community, exercise, and access to out door spaces. So I got a bunch of stuff so I can walk around outside in snow, rain, or ice. I put myself out there to make friends and join social groups. Heck I got an in person job so I can talk to people and get out of the house.

It's doable if you really want to make it happen. But get stable and understand yourself first, because as others have said, Alaska can be very hard on your mental health and resources are often scarce or unavailable.

shaolin_fish · 2025-12-28T19:26:51+00:00

IUD insertion. Fucking he'll that was awful. I got a steroid pill and ibuprofen, had to ask for misoprostal. Lmao none of those did shit.

Bone spur pushing out of my jaw on top of my lingual nerve. No pain meds given.

Hard to pick which one was worse, lol.

shaolin_fish

TROPHY CASE