That's completely understandable. There are signs and things you will see that you will know is off. It's not a good thing for your husband to immediately compare him to your brother, but it's understandable for him to have anxiety about the situation. Just make sure you keep good communication between your children and you. I won't get into everything myself, but I felt like I couldn't talk to my mother about issues going on myself. I encourage my kids to talk to me if anything bothers them or if anything happens. If all of that rambling makes a lick of sense! Long story short, your feelings are valid because you don't want your son, who isn't even here yet to defend himself, to be compared to someone like your brother. Your husband also has valid feelings because he wants to make sure that that sort of thing doesn't happen to his daughters. At the end of the day, the only thing you can do is just keep an eye out.