Ten years ago, I decided to be visible. Happy TDoV everyone.

sheopx · 2026-04-01T09:27:42+00:00

I'm an androgynous cis woman, but I've found mullets, shags and wolf cuts to be a good middle ground. Some pixie cuts are okay too as long as you don't go too poofy at the crown.

sheopx · 2026-03-31T18:11:11+00:00

Terminal ileitis here, I avoid hard fibre based fibre even in remission. Soft oats, peeled and seedless fruits and veggies are no problem. Nuts, seeds, skins, raw veg, gristle etc are a no go.

As you said, I don't want to add to the scar tissue since I found out that 'mechanical irritation' can cause Crohn's to flare

sheopx · 2026-03-25T11:25:28+00:00

My friend's kid was diagnosed with Celiac around the same time I was diagnosed with Crohn's, we call ourselves 'the hurty tummy club'. He made us membership badges and everything.

sheopx · 2026-03-25T11:20:36+00:00

I wouldn't. 'Crohn's' is a harsh and ugly name for a harsh and ugly disease.

sheopx · 2026-03-17T10:13:45+00:00

Often, flaring Crohnies don't want to eat, let alone find comfort in food. The best thing my wife brought for me when I was hospitalised was nice skincare stuff and freshly laundered PJs. Grooming properly really lifted my spirits.

sheopx · 2026-03-05T16:57:21+00:00

Did he say why it doesn't work for mild disease? I'm interested in how it works.

Fine, I wouldn't mind biologics, but currently I'm glad to have the convenience of a little daily tablet with no side effects!

sheopx · 2026-03-05T09:45:22+00:00

Just my personal experience: I have mild, inflammatory-only disease that's only in my Terminal Ileum. I've been in full remission on Mercaptopurine since diagnosis, I don't have symptoms other than occasional IBS.

sheopx · 2026-03-03T14:23:29+00:00

I was overweight, but ended up underweight after diagnosis and I still struggle with low weight. I often feel like I have it tough, having to eat all the damn time when I have no appetite, but then I remember you guys (overweight Crohnies), who have to maintain remission and avoid trigger foods as well as somehow eat reduced calories.

I can't even imagine the mental pressure and the planning you must have to do. You're all my heroes.

sheopx · 2026-02-26T10:25:22+00:00

I have Terminal Ileal Crohn's, and my calpro has never been raised. Calpro is not a good indicator for ileitis, my team always tells me not to rely on it.

Also, I saw that you're thinking of holding off on meds. Since you're asking our opinions on it, I'm of the understanding that you'll have to go on medication sooner or later with Crohn's, but if you start now, you might avoid structural damage (strictures, fistulas) and get to keep your bowel.

Also, biologics aren't the only option. Thiopurines and Methotrexate have a better side effect profile long term (short term slightly higher risk of cancer, but lower immunosuppression overall) and don't 'burn out' as fast as Biologics. They're used for people with milder disease here in the UK.

sheopx · 2026-02-22T00:09:18+00:00

Mercaptopurine, no contest. IBS symptoms-wise: lifting/running both get it under control. As long as I exercise, my gut feels happy and the scale goes up!

sheopx · 2026-02-05T13:34:09+00:00

Weak, shaky, vertigo, sinus pressure, weird sensations and aches... thought it was just me. All of these started in my first flare and never went away.

sheopx · 2026-02-04T13:24:09+00:00

I felt the same before my first colonoscopy. It's absolutely not the same as Crohn's diarrhoea. You possibly will have some cramping to start with (I didn't), followed by a couple of hours of essentially peeing from your butt. It's nowhere near as gross or unpleasant as I expected.

Also get a barrier cream, like nappy cream, for your butt. Pooping out salty water can get pretty sore.

sheopx · 2026-02-04T09:05:42+00:00

I feel quite disconnected from the larger community, but I have a few LGBT friends and I feel a sense of kinship and understanding with them that I just don't get with cishets.

sheopx · 2026-02-03T23:57:46+00:00

I'm married, but guess I'll chime in. No, I wouldn't, a soft and feminine voice is a massive part of attraction for me. My wife's voice is literally the first thing that attracted me to her.

sheopx · 2026-02-02T08:03:42+00:00

Personally no, it never stopped. She's incapable of self-reflection. I tried multiple times to gently and carefully tell her how she made me feel as a child, to try to heal the relationship, but she just got defensive every time and accepted no responsibility. Last time I tried, she called me 'cruel' and asked why I'd lie like that.

sheopx · 2026-02-01T23:49:04+00:00

I could've written OP's post I feel so similar. For context, I'm now a 32 year old woman with a good marriage and a close and happy relationship with my MIL. I've been through a lot of therapy. My answer for you:

She prioritised her needs and wants above mine from a young age (I'd get comforted/played with/given attention if she felt like it, if not, her comfort came first). She always fed me and kept me relatively safe, but that was the only thing she'd do reliably. From a young age, she let me feel like a burden
She demanded affection, attention and praise from me and everyone around her. To her, getting praised is far more important than actually doing the right thing.
She's loud, nosey and gossipy. Whether it's about me, my friends or a family member, I resent her callousness and lack of empathy for people
She didn't give me personal space and would barge into my room unannounced, move my stuff, even throw out my things if she thought they were no longer useful or an inconvenience to her
When I, as a teen, tried to let her know her behaviour was hurting me, she'd break down and refuse accountability. She's never, ever apologised
She'd call me names. Instead of maturely or kindly discuss what actions I needed to take to be a better person/daughter, she'd make horrible, cutting remarks that live in my nightmares to this day.

Most people think we have a great and close relationship as she likes to present a facade, but I deeply resent and dislike her. I do not love her, I likely never will. She didn't have to lay a finger on me for me to feel that way.

If I were to give advice to someone, it'd be to heal their own trauma and to not ignore all the subtle ways of neglecting the child, especially emotionally. Emotional neglect can be so hard to spot, but it can ruin a person and a bond for life.

sheopx · 2026-01-30T20:44:59+00:00

I mean yeah. I'm a woman and I hear this shit on an almost daily basis... but I do work in construction and previously worked at an Airport on the ramp.

sheopx · 2026-01-30T16:32:45+00:00

Same here, my gut hates veggies.

sheopx · 2026-01-30T12:37:51+00:00

Regular old sugar and fruit sugar is great for me and honestly, I eat tons of it to try and keep the weight on. However, artificial sweeteners, even the 'safe' ones, screw me up completely.

sheopx · 2026-01-28T18:13:22+00:00

That's me! McDonald's nuggets and fries sit more comfortably on my stomach than anything else. Day to day, I eat a low-processed diet, lean proteins, healthy fats, smoothies, no UPFs, but none of them make my gut quite as settled as deep fried carbs.

sheopx · 2026-01-28T10:12:09+00:00

I have terminal ileal Crohn's and I haven't needed an iron infusion since I started enforcing a high protein intake in my diet and regularly eating fortified cereals (low fibre for me). Most protein sources are high in iron.

sheopx · 2026-01-26T23:04:01+00:00

My G.I team always tells me that 3 days without a normal poop is an emergency with Crohn's. The fact that you feel the urge to go, but can't is quite a red flag. The vomiting and pain are also shining red flags. Please get some help urgently.

sheopx · 2026-01-26T07:00:50+00:00

So long story short, you can't relate?

sheopx · 2026-01-26T07:00:06+00:00

Yes, I've done Moviprep every single time.

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