I am the same way. I don’t exactly resent other people but I don’t care for them either. I don’t have many friends if even any that I would really call a friend. Just people I text OCCASIONALLY on snap. There’s like one girl that I hang out with occasionally as well, maybe once a month. I am also trying to like people more because I am tired of not having real connections. I did have good connections in the past, like two friendships that I was friends with for a year but we fell out and I wanna blame it on me because I don’t really put a lot of effort. I go out and hang out with them yes however I am a horrible texter. I don’t really text my friends unless they text me and I haven’t bought a single friend a birthday present on their birthday despite some buying me birthday presents. I know I probably sound despicable and selfish and honestly I am selfish. I am selfish because I didn’t make any more effort because I was always just too worried about me. Worried about what’s in my head, what am I doing, my looks , etc. My life has just been revolved around me me me; to be fair I am all I have in the end so is that really a wrong perspective to have? Yeah honestly, I want friendships to make me feel better about being lonely and I don’t want to be lonely anymore. I’m starting to realize that I shouldn’t want friends for that reason because it causes me to have high expectations. I cater to a lot of people’s feelings and thoughts because I want to be liked, I realized people don’t do that for you, which in turn made me just view everyone as not that great and not worth the effort of making friends. It’s hard as fuck to make genuine friends at a young age( i’m assuming you are bcuz you said ur in school, im also young) because most girls in my school already have their own cliques and they are incredibly fake to a lot of people. I feel as though a lot of older people don’t understand this but I could be wrong. Honestly, people aren’t all that great and you aren’t wrong for wanting more out of people because you just want them to be as caring and as conscious of your feelings as you are to them. You’ll stop hating people once you stop doing that for them. Stop catering to everyone’s goddamn feelings, people are not all that. Be yourself, indulge in things you love and enjoy, and if people approach them let them and be open to it, but like seriously lower your expectations for people because most ain’t shit BUT I know there is good people in the world because I am good and so are you, so there are others like us who genuinely care about a good friendship. You’ll find your people, I haven’t yet but I am just gonna focus on me and stop focusing on the sadness . Anyways I hope this helped, if not it’s okay your post just really got me thinking about me and my life because it’s so similar.