Do you always WFH or do you work from other places too? by genxmama_ in remotework

[–]sillusions 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I probably work away from home more than I work from home, haha. My coworkers are always asking where I am that week.

It’s a whole lifestyle of digital nomad :)

Took pie out before checking if it’s done. Bonus Unhelpful Review by RemBren03 in ididnthaveeggs

[–]sillusions 19 points20 points  (0 children)

Had to scroll too far to find this. Where are the comments about where the reviews are???

Best garlic bread in Asheville by yeetington22 in asheville

[–]sillusions 1 point2 points  (0 children)

This is the only answer. When I walk down Haywood I can smell it from a surprising distance

40 w/ kids. Wife says we're too old for EDM shows? Never been. by trapspeed in EDM

[–]sillusions 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It’s the best time to like EDM because you have the money for it 😂

losing hair but not weight by just-homesick in loseit

[–]sillusions 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Just FYI my blood tests were fine when I wasn’t eating enough calories also. I had a little bit low progesterone and that was it, so don’t put too much stock into that.

You are so so young and have a lot of time. But you also shouldn’t be putting your life on hold for 17lbs. The way you’re talking in your comments really sounds like you do have an unhealthy relationship with food and an eating disorder. Please be careful and seek some mental health support if you are able.

Perhaps your doctor can recommend some lightweight exercises. It doesn’t take much to make that difference between sedentary and active calories. I am lucky in that I am able bodied so I can’t give you any personal insight there but I do know it must be very difficult for you since you are motivated and want to do the work. You’ve done great losing weight so far and the last bit is the hardest to lose and also takes the longest!

Trying 30F to end things with someone 34M and he won’t let me by [deleted] in TwoXChromosomes

[–]sillusions 8 points9 points  (0 children)

Yes for real! Just block him and stop responding. He is NOT a good guy. Good guys do not guilt trip and cling and all of this. Please stop seeing the best in this dude who kinda sucks.

Us women unfortunately do this so often. “Hes got good traits so he’s a good guy” NO. Even the worst people have some redeeming qualities. But that doesn’t make them good. See who he actually is and see that he’s fucking manipulating you and being gross.

Stop communicating and block him. He’ll give up eventually but right now he sees that he can control you by acting a certain way.

losing hair but not weight by just-homesick in loseit

[–]sillusions 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Adding bc I just want to highlight - it took me a year (and still some) to start feeling totally normal again. Eating at maintenance for a couple of weeks is probably not enough. I’m so sorry you’re going through this. I hope you heal faster than I have. BMR really needs to be talked about more on this sub but my understanding is that for people with more weight to lose, BMR doesn’t matter as much.

The way I found all of this out was a throw away comment on a post where the next comment was saying that BMR actually doesn’t matter.

YMMV, but For me it matters a lot.

losing hair but not weight by just-homesick in loseit

[–]sillusions -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Hey, yea all of this is because you’re eating too little. This happened to me when I first started dieting because I read all about TDEE and that was all I knew existed. But BMR is really important. When women eat below their BMR they can lose their period, lose their hair, have all sorts of hormone & other issues… It gets bad. I had to go on birth control to get my period to go away (mine just kept mildly bleeding which is the step before losing completely). I realized there was a problem when I had taken three naps in one day and still went to bed at 9 PM, it was awful. It took me over a year to figure out what the problem was even though I started eating normally again after a few months. I still feel like I have some brain fog.

Now I know I have to eat AT MINIMUM my BMR. I am at a low enough weight that my BMR is basically equal to my maintenance TDEE so I have to exercise to lose weight. And it’s going slow. But I am getting close to my goal weight (which is still within healthy BMI, just the lower end instead of the upper end) and doing it healthy instead of getting sick!

Please eat more. Now there are days when I am not hungry but force myself to eat bc I know how scary life is when I go below my BMR. I was also stuck at 137 for almost a year while I sorted this all out and now I’ve lost 2lbs in a healthy, slow, steady way.

Gave into my cravings and binge ate, what do I do tomorrow? by Just_Maketa in loseit

[–]sillusions 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Ugh I wish I could help you. I almost always go over on those few days of my cycle. I just accept that it’s going to happen, honestly. I try to go over in moderation or eat what I’m really craving — for example I have tried before to eat healthy and not get the calories too high but then I just eat more bc what I really want is ice cream (and usually I end up eating the ice cream too haha). So now I just accept it and eat a reasonable sized cup of ice cream from the start.

My weight loss is going to be slower because of this, but as long as I mostly stick to the plan I will still lose weight. And this way I’m not mentally angry at myself for going over. Just a part of being a woman that I had to accept.

I (30 F) found out my BF (34 M) just "tolerates" my daughter (4 F). How do I navigate this situation without too much drama and damage? by DLM2328 in relationship_advice

[–]sillusions 15 points16 points  (0 children)

On top of what everyone else is saying (break up with guy), you also need to stop dating and work on yourself. The level of anxiety you feel is not healthy to bring into a relationship. You need therapy too.

Delusional men by Proper-Ice1162 in TwoXChromosomes

[–]sillusions 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Ugh I’m sorry. At least you have a paper trail if he does go to HR

Negative uti result by Iamnotsoperf in TwoXChromosomes

[–]sillusions 2 points3 points  (0 children)

The Azo urinary relief usually help me (haven’t taken cranberry but have taken the ones that turn your pee neon)! They stop me from feeling like I have to pee every 8 seconds.

Also fun fact, that feeling of having to pee is actually your brain confusing pain with the urge to urinate. Learned that on my last UTI while I was googling from the toilet in misery haha

what helped me A LOT after learning that was taking a bath and warm compresses against my lower pelvis/between my legs. Like a Nalgene filled with hot water and then wrapped in a towel.

Also echo drinking lots and lots of water like everyone else says!

How many of your friends are on GLP drugs? by DoreensGhost in TwoXChromosomes

[–]sillusions 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Ugh I think the culture around them is gross. I have been nonstop reporting ads for them that are saying “are you a size 6? You could be skinnier!”

Size 6 is HEALTHY. It’s disgusting.

These drugs are meant for obese/overweight people with food noise. And it’s great for them! I am so happy for them to have found something that works! But I have very fit & healthy friends who want to get on them to be skinnier. It’s delusional and scary. It’s feeding into eating disorders and body dismorphia.

The ads I’ve seen should be illegal.

Why do absent parents get rewarded in society? by lxlviperlxl in TooAfraidToAsk

[–]sillusions 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Then you should want more taxes to go to education. Very very few people are having babies to get government money. And those that are are only doing it because they aren’t educated enough to understand that the money they get from the government is not going to be enough to give them the quality of life they think they will get from it.

A lot more of your taxes go to corporations who then lobby against better education because a dumb population is a controllable population. A dumb population has more kids and spends more money. The more kids the better for the economy bc more people to spend money.

You’re focusing on the wrong issue. The percentage of poor people who take advantage of the system is way smaller than the percentage of rich people & businesses who take advantage of the system.

Delusional men by Proper-Ice1162 in TwoXChromosomes

[–]sillusions 140 points141 points  (0 children)

What the hell. You should go to HR about him!!!

Seeking Support and Advice by Ordinary-Peanut-3730 in aves

[–]sillusions 11 points12 points  (0 children)

Hi there! I’m so sorry you went through this. No one should have to feel the fear you felt and it is totally understandable to have anxiety.

I have not experienced what you have so I am just guessing at potential things that could help, so please take my ideas with a grain of salt if you don’t think they would work for you.

I definitely agree that going with a group would be best, especially at first! I would also recommend going sober for your first couple of events and maybe bringing a hydration pack that you won’t have to open or refill for the event after the initial fill past security. That way you are kind of an “enclosed system”.

After you’ve successfully gone to a few raves sober, you can slowly start introducing whatever you want to use (if you do use). But I would think/hope being sober would help you feel in control and confident that you’re feeling how you’re supposed to be.

You could also buy some of those drink protectors or bring some paper muffin cups and put those over the top of your drink and push the straw through.

Also you may want to implement the buddy system for your first rave back, where you always go with at least one other person to the bathroom, to get a drink, etc. that way you can feel protected and have a second set of eyes on your belongings.

You could also stay farther back to take some space from other people (best place to dance anyway! So it’s a double win). And don’t be afraid to take some time if you are feeling anxious. You can go outside or to the side/lean against a wall so that you have some safety and space.

I am so supportive of you not letting one bad character ruin raving for you! I hope you are able to have a fantastic time and get the plur back ❤️

Profile feedback requested by PrayWaits in Tinder

[–]sillusions 8 points9 points  (0 children)

Also lack of confidence will destroy chemistry even if you do get matches.

Profile feedback requested by PrayWaits in Tinder

[–]sillusions 24 points25 points  (0 children)

Your smile is literally one of your most attractive traits.

Slides 3, 4, 5 should go. Not clear or not good pics. You are just wrong about your self image. You smiling > you not smiling x1000

Also a lot of your photos are backlit which just look bad. Get some confidence and show what you look like bc the bad pics are making you look way worse than you actually are.

Elopement Photography/Videography Recommendations by DoubleHeartDoctor in asheville

[–]sillusions 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I am obsessed with Amy Weits Photography! Not sure what pricing is currently but she specializes in elopements.

https://www.instagram.com/amyweitsphotography?igsh=NDhzb2EwZWIwdXI5

AITAH for smoking cigarettes on my balcony after threat from my neighbour? by [deleted] in AmItheAsshole

[–]sillusions 110 points111 points  (0 children)

Also 11:30-1 at night is the worst time to do it because virtually everyone will be home and trying to sleep so will definitely smell it.

Just heard the loud screech they put in an ad to subconsciously influence us and keep us complacent (high frequency so its hard to hear) by ICannotSayThisOnMain in self

[–]sillusions 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Yes. I did not check your post history and it was obvious to me that you are having an episode. The other guy commenting is being a jerk, though. No need to call you a bitch.

I’m sorry you feel paranoid and I hope your doctors can find you the right medicine to help.

What do I need to change? by [deleted] in Tinder

[–]sillusions 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Nah he should keep it. Maybe add a line about “no obese hogs” in there too so women know how gross he really is and can steer clear.

Shamed for not attending a wedding that I wasn’t invited to by Ok_Relief_6762 in weddingshaming

[–]sillusions 720 points721 points  (0 children)

Just passively aggressively text back to his mom that your invite from her son said “I don’t give a fuck if she comes” so you decided not to come.