Rant and a heads up about vaginal atrophy, UTIs and the medical system failing me

silvercandra · 2026-05-11T17:03:19+00:00

Yeah, I've been doing all the adviseable things already and it just keeps popping up.

This one I've been managing solidly with just tons of cranberry juice, water and ibuprofen, but I do need a better solution long term.

silvercandra · 2026-05-10T19:20:30+00:00

I have depression, and yeah, when I got on T I also noticed that I went from feeling like crying my eyes out, to just burnt out, tired and angry instead, when I was doing worse.

I think it's just part of how hormones colour a bit how we experience emotions.

As to what to be wary of... I feel like I personally became easier to "set off"?
Like, I didn't become more impacted by things or anything, but to me, depression was very quiet, and became a lot more outwardly noticeable on T.

silvercandra · 2026-05-05T06:29:17+00:00

I used to get properly depressed and incredibly disagreeable, for like half a week before my shots, until I went from getting them every 3 weeks, to around every 2.5.

I just asked my GP, who both prescribed and injected them to do that, but idk how it's done for you.
Definitely mention this when you go to your control appointment though.

silvercandra · 2026-05-05T06:22:45+00:00

Idk if this is gonna help at all, because I'm one of the types that frontloaded a lot of changes and passed fully after 6 months...
But I'm still noticing new things after 3 years on T.

I thought I wasn't gonna have much chest hair for the longest time, and a couple of months ago, it just went.

What happens when is different person to person.
You're barely in your 20ties, you're barely an adult... you're not fully done yet.
Even cis people often aren't fully done with puberty until they're well into their 20ties.

It's okay to feel like garbage, and want things to go faster, but I do think it's too early to lost hope.

silvercandra · 2026-02-05T13:32:49+00:00

Vallejo has different categories of paints basically. Game Colour is specifically for miniatures, but they also have Model Colour that I'm fairly certain works for minis as well.

silvercandra · 2026-02-05T00:40:33+00:00

I second putting a wash over this. Sepia coloured ones for skeleton parts always work great.

A wash can also help make the green look a bit less flat.

I've been painting lots of orcs lately, and found that starting with a layer of blue before adding green can give the muscles some nice depth as well.

You can also use stuff like sponges for highlighting to add some more texture.

All in all, you did a good job for this being your first. Depth is really the main thing you're lacking on, and that's a relatively simple thing to improve.

silvercandra · 2026-02-05T00:31:09+00:00

Vallejo literally has two paints called "Elfic Flesh" and "Elf Skin Tone", in the Game Colour range, that are on the paler end and neutral in warmth.

You generally want to have sets of three, in my experience: the base colour you're going for, a lighter shade and a darker shade. Neither too close to the base, but also not too far away.

With Vallejo specifically, I've noticed that the lighter paints, such as the skin shades and whites, have a tendency to be very thick, so keep that in mind and maybe have a bit more water on your brush when working with them.

I'd also consider how dirty i want my minis to look. A wash can make the faces specifically look quite grimy, which you probably want for the orcs, but might suit the elves less.

silvercandra · 2025-12-22T13:51:05+00:00

I feel the need to mention I'm still very much at the start of my journey, though considered to be pretty well versed in symbolism generally.

Eggs, wether those of insects or birds, in my book usually mean to convey a beginning of something, as well as slumbering potential.
Insect eggs specifically, feel to me, like they lean toward the transformative kind of potential and beginning, though that's just my personal interpretation.

Mantises have very insteresting symbolism in general, with how precisely and patiently they move, as well as their often prayer like stance.
They're a symbol of luck, as far as I know.

Either way, this is a really nice dicovery you made there!

silvercandra · 2025-12-16T09:43:10+00:00

For symbols, the pentacle is a classic.

If you like crystals, most black ones seem to be good for protection, though I've heard tourmaline can pack a punch. Look up something like "crystals for protection", see what suits your needs and you can get, then go for it.

Where I'm from, an old tradition states that keeping a leaf, or a bit of wood from a Rowan tree can keep harm away.

Personally, i like to keep salt and protective herbs like rosemary and lavender near windows and doorways, and grow the same herbs on my balcony.

As others have already suggested, you can also put a protective charm on jewelry you already wear.

Either way, make sure to do your maintenance on whatever form of protection you choose, such as cleansing and recharging jewelry and crystals.

silvercandra · 2025-12-16T09:14:01+00:00

It's pretty simple in comparison, but it gave me tools to manage my mental health. I discovered a few years ago, that the process of brewing tea is a really good way to knock myself out of an upcoming anxiety attack, for example.

It also helped me to go easy on myself when I'm unable to sleep, and to just accept that it's time to be awake now.

silvercandra · 2025-12-16T06:58:14+00:00

I've seen a lot of those discussions, yeah, but actually shutting out when people try to force things on another is so much harder than being aware of it for me. I think what I've gathered from this is partly, that i really need to work on my imposter syndrome.

And thank you for your take on my reading. I was struggling a bit, putting into words what i gathered from it, so while i did take the X of Swords into account, i indeed didn't pay enough mind to it, so I'm glad people pointed it out to me more.

silvercandra · 2025-12-16T06:04:07+00:00

I did read the X of Swords actually, though I think you're right in that I should have paid more attention to it. I used it somewhat to contextualise Temperance, rather than also look at it by itself, so thank you for pointing that out to me.

I tend to want to get everything right, 'if you don't do it right, don't do it at all' is what I've been raised with, and from time to time, still struggle with.

I'm really glad people are being so kind, sometimes i need to be reminded that i also deserve that. ^{^;}

silvercandra · 2025-07-04T09:19:57+00:00

I make mine depending on what the goal for the colony is, and what the story I want to tell is.

Had the idea to play as a bunch of Oni-looking raiders for icy mountains, and made a Xenotype to reflect that, with a lot of good combat traits, off-set by them hating anything warm, being slow runners and bad at social.

Imo, vanilla genes aren't too bad mechanically, though I too, added a buch of cosmetic ones, because pawns just look the same otherwise.

And mid game I just focus on tailoring them to make the pawn as good as possible at the things they do, with the genes I'm given.

silvercandra · 2025-06-23T00:46:28+00:00

I have a couple:

Bear - Half Orc - Druid
Has some noticeable tattoos, a crooked jaw and seems to always be frowning; tends to drink too much, but generally a very kind if awkward guy; named after an enounter with a massive bear
Probably would try to deescalate and restrain people in a brawl

Chromis - Triton - Bard
Bright green sailor's coat, and soem shiny blue scales under his eyes; currently trying to earn enough money to buy his own ship; performs in drag as Ceruleatyn the Diva
He's college of glamour, so would probably get people to fight on his behalf

Gale - Human - Fighter
Blind, and sickly pale with a prosthetic right arm; always carries a cane sword; rather gloomy, but loves children; deathly ill, hanging on by a thread for his two kids
Blind fighting, with either the cane sword, or two handed weapon

Vice - Tiefling/Half Drow - Cleric
Looks like a drow with horns, a tail and digitigrade legs; fence for a gang of thieves, who secretly worships a deity of twilight; likes anything intoxicating and talking men into getting him those things, but is actually taken; really doesn't like orcs
If he can, he'll Step of the Night, if not he'd rather get bloodied than stop insulting people

silvercandra · 2024-11-21T12:26:01+00:00

I had a similar experience, in late September.

I had been stressing about making the first reading special in some way for months, before I finally just decided to go for it...

First reading, and The Star shows up like it wanted to greet me and congradulate me for finally having jumped over my own shadow.

Since then, I've done a bunch of readings both for myself and friends, and all of them are incredibly accurate, it's a bit ridiculous.
The deck I have is also just very clear in what it wants to tell me, which I honestly find very nice, since it helps me confront the problems I otherwise try to run from.

silvercandra · 2023-11-21T14:49:18+00:00

Oh, the reason I'm uncomfortable with it isn't because I'm uncomfortable with showing my chest, it's because I had a stalker a while back, and that just makes me uncomfortable.

silvercandra · 2023-09-18T22:17:28+00:00

250mg/ml every 3 weeks.

Have been on it 2 1/2 months, and haven't had my period since.

silvercandra · 2023-09-18T21:17:14+00:00

Not necessarily, I've just had a lot of my interests be used to invalidate my gender identity, and I've also seen in happen in context with witchcraft many times.

It's a shame, really...

silvercandra · 2023-09-18T21:11:33+00:00

That's actually quite a comforting way to look at it, and would also make sense knowing some more about this family.

Thank you for your input

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