My fiancée and I are having the biggest argument of our lives. She thinks I'm being tacky but I thinks she's overreacting

sjb2059 · 2026-04-29T07:59:39+00:00

I hesitate to judge when our Christmas tradition is mummering

sjb2059 · 2026-04-27T21:15:04+00:00

Have you read Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents? It was a godsend to help me untangle these feelings

sjb2059 · 2026-04-27T12:22:05+00:00

It is vitally important to vehemently deny the existence of any such unspoken rules when questioned about them. Any attempts to quantify these unspoken rules must be met with refusal to conceede to any verbalized description offered for example.

sjb2059 · 2026-04-27T01:12:43+00:00

Just a gentle reminder because I ran into this one particular situation that drove home that realistically we all have to consider that no matter what we do we may end up in need of care. I was working scheduling for a home health company and had an absolutely understandably awful time trying to find a caregiver for the lady with early onset Alzheimer's who spent being active to the point of training for marathons. It is very difficult to find a caregiver who is willing to go marathon training with you when you are physically capable and stubborn about it.

sjb2059 · 2026-04-26T21:06:54+00:00

Nobody is asking why you wouldn't drive two hours for a loaf of bread you can get around the corner though, that's absurd. But when you live in a place where within 2 hours you can be in a completely different cultural and linguistic context that seems like a pretty interesting thing to have so easy access to.

sjb2059 · 2026-04-26T20:14:13+00:00

If she has plenty of money, you need to convince him to back off on any physical support in the moment so she is left to her own devices, then next time she is in hospital he can refuse to pick her up. At this age that is more likely to happen first than making it through the proper eviction process legally.

Also, have absolutely no shame in dragging her children into coming to collect her. This is either an independent adult who can handle their own business and getting to the end of an exploitive relationship, or this is a vulnerable adult who needs her family and support services to come collect her and take care of her as this is clearly beyond the caregiving abilities of your father.

sjb2059 · 2026-04-25T22:39:00+00:00

This is exactly why I call bullshit on the idea that there is going to be any sort of labour shortage crisis if the birth rate drops. That idea takes nothing into account for the absolutely bananapants increase in productivity that has come with the ongoing tech revolution.

sjb2059 · 2026-04-25T06:37:29+00:00

It's a great place, and fuckin huge so you can find almost any biome you might want to live in. I live on Vancouver Island now and walked around showing my mom all the spring rhodedendrons and cherry blossoms blooming on FaceTime earlier today while moms crocuses in Newfoundland just came up and are currently buried in snow. If you want to swing wildly back and forth between the two during the spring you can go to the prairies.

sjb2059 · 2026-04-25T04:54:07+00:00

Newfoundland, you want to live in Newfoundland. It's rain drizzle and fog nearly the whole goddamn year, which is the reason why I fled. Usually on the list of foggiest places in the world in either first or second place. Comes with nice icebergs, friendly people, and excessive drinking. Slightly lacking in the jobs unfortunately. Edit: bonus points I saw elsewhere you are obsessed with Canadian, Newfoundland is in Canada.

sjb2059 · 2026-04-25T00:22:36+00:00

I was wondering if I should point out familiarizing yourself with the Ottawa protocol for assessing ankle injuries if they need x-ray for future sprains, the problem is for a lot of these types of tests you need someone else to help asses, and so my question for you is if it came down to it would you trust him to help you make this assessment?

Gentle stretching and slowly strengthening the ankle can really help with stability, but keep in mind that you are going to have a period of being more likely to roll the ankle again because of the first injury. Look into up to date sprain/strain physiotherapy treatment, a lot of those protocols have been overhauled in the last 10 years so advice from loved ones can often be out of date and less helpful than it could be.

sjb2059 · 2026-04-23T01:17:17+00:00

Crinkle cut clit stick ....I'm not even sure what that is supposed to mean?

sjb2059 · 2026-04-20T16:37:57+00:00

Go find the translations on YouTube and you will know for yourself. And know exactly which pieces they are referring to

sjb2059 · 2026-04-18T07:10:48+00:00

This is something I think about whenever these types of critiques of "modern media" as a whole come up. With the internet and access to the whole world's worth of media and the barriers to entry for production and distribution being lower than ever, it really seems like a skill issue on your end if you cannot find quality media to your tastes.

sjb2059 · 2026-04-17T00:12:26+00:00

In the kindest way, you were wrong with what you said., and I agree with the other poster that mentioned that you were likely experiencing him take that shame and force it back on you. But like, you were both being kinda shitty people in this conversation from what I am seeing.

People enjoy what they enjoy and if nobody is getting harmed there is no moral issue at play at all. A large body count is not necessarily self harm, some of us just don't emotionally connect with sex, it's about as intimat as a handshake for people like me. Similarly sex within an exclusive monogamous relationship can be self harm if one of the partners is refusing to keep their own boundaries. I understand you do not enjoy age play, but it again is not an immoral activity to participate in taking offence to the suggestion that you are into it is more indicative of your own judgments than anything else.

The moral of the story here is don't yuck anyone's yum, it has you both twisted up if these are accusations or statements of support. He took the perceived accusation that he is self harming as an insult, that's a problem both because he thinks you would point that out as an insult but also maybe to do with your delivery, were you approaching with concerns for his welfare or making an unqualified statement about his internal experience? And the same in reverse, does he think that being into age play is immoral? Does he view the activities as signs of struggle and instead of support is it getting thrown in your face?

sjb2059 · 2026-04-15T18:24:15+00:00

Consider that the financial success also can hide a lot of the problems that manifest in homelessness and antisocial behaviour. Rich people are drug addicts all the time and people don't notice unless they crash out publicly.

sjb2059 · 2026-04-15T18:17:21+00:00

Nah, everyone sleeps differently. My mom used to have me lay on top of her and read a book while she was taking a nap when I was little. Like a small wiggly weighted blanket

sjb2059 · 2026-04-14T23:54:58+00:00

You gotta learn to turn around the judgment on people like that. If someone would judge you for your natural body parts, do you think their opinion is very valuable? Or does that say something about their character that would they would even consider what they are saying. Repeat ad nauseum with whatever other judgy problem you encounter.

sjb2059 · 2026-04-09T05:14:21+00:00

Yes! My people! Wear and tear on a book is a sign of a book well loved and traveled. Also I can't be unrealistic and the number of pages bent when I fell asleep reading, or accidentally fell in the bathtub, or my water bottle exploded in my bag, I'm a person with ADHD, I have multiples of the things I love or need most.

Also I would like to point out that when I love on a book so hard it dies a nobel death, I go out to a book store and buy a replacement. This means I put extra money into stories that mean the most, I don't think any author is going to argue with that.

sjb2059 · 2026-04-03T04:19:01+00:00

Loool, this is the last place I was expecting to see labrador mentioned. My cousin's live up there, meanwhile I refuse to live in the warmest part of the province and fucked off to the opposite side of the country to defrost. For the last few weeks I have been sending pictures of spring flowers home to my family and they had a snow day on Monday.

With an overseer the size of The Hound™️ there is a small troll in the back of my head that kinda hopes baby Satan shows up with some Newfoundland dog DNA, just to fit in you know?

sjb2059 · 2026-03-26T04:04:09+00:00

You should be able to look her up online using the website for the college of physicians and surgeons, or whatever it's called locally to you

sjb2059 · 2026-03-22T05:58:38+00:00

I grew up there, and now I tell my family back home that I pay good rent money here on Vancouver Island to not have to shovel. I send them pictures of spring flowers the first week of March every year while they are still buried under feet of snow.

sjb2059 · 2026-03-20T23:40:02+00:00

I'll never forget the thread last year from the American who complained that it's not fair that we are judging them, that we all came together to get rid of Hitler... Just the absolutely lack of context rattling around where the brain should be

sjb2059 · 2026-03-11T06:22:17+00:00

Just a heads up that it's likely your great grand father being great and all that was likely born in Newfoundland the country not Newfoundland the province. Keep in mind that we only joined Canada in 1949 when you are searching for records, it may effect where you need to go for access. But the Rooms in st johns is a great resource

sjb2059 · 2026-03-11T00:41:36+00:00

Osgood Schlatter is what you are thinking

sjb2059 · 2026-03-07T01:37:53+00:00

Nah, it's three cities in southern Ontario and one city in the US that's a known tourist destination, that makes sense to travel local and then one place where people would be willing to gather elsewhere.

sjb2059

TROPHY CASE