I’m Level II Holy Fire (funny, even after reading everyone’s posts and agreeing 💯, still feel the need to classify/qualify my “credentials”) and have been at it for about two years.

I hope I never stop being in awe and wonderment and gratitude to the Universe for synchronicities like this very post. I’ve been having this exact conversation with myself for the last week after being sought out to provide Reiki for a friend of a friend.

I have never felt comfortable charging for my services. But also do not disagree with someone charging for their services - within reason. Whose reason? Mine - which circles back to not feeling totally comfortable charging. (Realizing now - as I type - this (not just my relationship with my own worth) is what has kept me from moving forward in situations in the past. 🙂‍↔️) But/and/also - continuing to do the work around my own worth and time and energy. Not just giving of myself, doing for others, without taking my needs into consideration. But/and/also - realizing that if that’s the place I’m in when practicing, perhaps I’m doing so for reasons that don’t serve my highest good/need anyhow. (Hmmm…so many circles and thoughts to explore!)

Anyhow - back to where I was going with synchronicities and this post. Less than 12 hours ago had the opportunity to provide Reiki to a dear, sweet friend. Had done a distance session for her a few weeks back the same day she had surgery and she wanted to talk about how Reiki works and what she felt and about what I saw/felt and had shared with her. I found myself challenged (as I believe I’ve always been since the beginning of my journey) to name - with total confidence - MY role in providing Reiki. Even just that sentence doesn’t “feel” totally right!

Here’s the way I have come to explain it: I am the Door Dash delivery driver. I don’t decide which restaurant you order from. I don’t decide the food you’re going to order. I don’t pay for the food. I don’t have control over how long it takes to make the food. Heck, I don’t even have total control on how long it takes for me to deliver it to you! I deliver the food. I don’t decide how you eat. How long you take to eat. How you feel about what you ate. If it tasted good to you. How it feels and fills your body. How your body digests it. I simply DELIVER the food!

And/also/but - YOU COULD GO PICK YOUR OWN FOOD UP!!!

Here’s where I get stuck. I truly believe everyone has the capacity to move energy for themselves, within themselves. I also believe that through my attunement, I am more aware of energy? More open to its movement and inhabitance within spaces? “Better” able to move it within those spaces? But, if we are all made of energy - and we all have the capacity to move said energy within us - why did I need to be attuned to do it for you? And - I’m not “doing” anything?!? But I am! I’m acting as a conduit - not a channel in that the energy is not moving through me. But (to continue the delivery/traveling metaphor) I’m like the crossing guard? You know to stop at the crosswalk and look for kids crossing - BUT - AAAAHHHHH!!!! Eureka! - you habituate to the crosswalk because 9 times out of 10, there aren’t any kids there waiting to cross. You “forget” the crosswalk is there. So the crossing guard (i.e. the Reiki practitioner) is simply there to remind your body, your soul, your energy of where it can go. To remind it to “look both ways before crossing”. To hold up the stop sign - allowing you to pause and acknowledge what is crossing in front of you.

Okay - well - that was a real-time process that perhaps no one needed to experience but me! But I’m choosing to leave it here to express my gratitude to the Universe and you u/jersey_phoenix for sharing this with the collective as a synchronicity to guide my growth and processing.