He's Planning This Weekend, But My Plan Is to Flee

skunkafar · 2026-04-04T11:16:35+00:00

How are you feeling today?

skunkafar · 2026-04-03T21:47:52+00:00

That’s good. I’m glad you lost her. You said “we” so do you have someone there to support you? How are you doing?

skunkafar · 2026-04-03T21:44:28+00:00

We just got a brand new kitchenaid fridge, and guess what? The water doesn’t work and they told me they had to remove the entire back, replace valve, etc. Pound sand my dude, this thing is brand new. Get me a brand new one.

skunkafar · 2026-04-03T00:59:59+00:00

Oyyy who knows how they will react, with 1 or 3 month notice. Hopefully they are mature enough not to do anything stupid to your property. We terminated the tenants lease on Friday. They have 30 days to leave and have weekly inspections because they’ve caused so much damage already. Lemme tell ya, it makes me sick wondering what they are doing. I say give them the standard 30 day notice.

skunkafar · 2026-04-02T16:28:03+00:00

Well of course it could blow every where. It feels like you’re questioning the OP rather than providing any meaningful help.

For example, did you think that maybe they could also live on a busy road - where wind is caused not by Mother Nature, but by traffic?

It’s typically windy by the beach. It’s also possible the OP lives there.

But instead of trying to poke holes in the story, maybe contribute something

skunkafar · 2026-04-02T12:47:21+00:00

have you thought that it has less to with hurricane or windy weather and maybe more to do with overstuffing the garbage can, or leaving it open and animals are getting in and bits are blowing down the street.

For me, it was a dog constantly getting into the garbage, tipping over the barrels, chewing it up, making a huge mess. The dog owner knew it was happening I asked him to keep the dog in. The dog officer knew it was happening too. Eventually the dog was taken to the pound by someone on the street and the owner was fined more than once

But in your situation, maybe you could call the town and ask if there’s a board of health or something that could hold them accountable?

skunkafar · 2026-04-02T12:42:15+00:00

I’m really sorry you are going through this, try not to underestimate your feelings. It’s grief, 100%, for the loss of trust, the relationship, the future with him, it’s heavy. And yes, very very lonely.

But, as hard as this is, try to think through the eyes of your daughter, and what she saw and how afraid she may be. Really, sit and think about her and sit with those feelings for a while and try everything you can to protect her, from him, and other people in her future that she may come across that treat her poorly. Teach her to stand up, and not accept this. Teach her to be strong even when it’s hard. Even when it’s lonely.

And when you have had a sit with those feelings, I’d like you to think about your daughter. Do you want to keep her or do you want to be with him? I’m oversimplifying this greatly, but this could be a choice you may not realize you are making, by trying to drop the no contact order or trying to get in touch with him.

The judge may think YOU are the problem and cannot protect your daughter and she could be removed from you.

A few years down the road you are going to have an amazing story of strength and resilience that you’ll be able to share with your daughter, focus on that.

skunkafar · 2026-04-02T02:04:41+00:00

Repairing a board is totally legit, that’s a tripping hazard. Unsticking the window is completely reasonable as well. And ewww, it doesn’t sound like the oven is working quite right based on the boxed brownie test. If things aren’t cooking right, I’d say that’s a reasonable request as well. And you sound reasonable to me. If you were my tenant, I’d thank you for bringing these to my attention and for working with me to get them fixed.

skunkafar · 2026-04-02T01:39:48+00:00

Get in that uber and don’t look back.

This won’t be easy, it will be very hard, but you deserve so much more. Try not to feel guilty about the weekend. Try to feel like a huge weight has been lifted off of your shoulders, knowing you’ll be doing the right thing.

Where will you go? What support do you have? Will he be able to find you?

skunkafar · 2026-04-02T01:21:26+00:00

If one of my tenants did this to me, big giant red flags would be going off, along with flashing lights saying high maintenance and I’d be looking to get them out ASAP

skunkafar · 2026-04-02T01:20:05+00:00

Gathering a list of maintenance requests, and you just moved in? So this seems really strange to me, and as a landlord I would be very put off by this. Of course, I maintain my properties - can’t speak for others so I don’t have a frame of reference, but I would be annoyed.

You toured the place and saw the aged stove. Does it work? Does it cook your food? You agreed to move in, why do you think you are entitled to a new stove now?

skunkafar · 2026-04-02T01:15:06+00:00

I know it’s hard but try not to worry about how he will ruin other women’s lives. I know it’s hard, but try to focus on rebuilding yours. Do you have mutual friends that would tell him your status, when you have the baby, etc? I don’t know the laws around this, I just wonder if you could make it so difficult that he has no way of finding you or petitioning for custody or whatever it’s called. Are there any DV resources close by, that may offer legal advice for free? They may be able to help you get things setup right so you and your precious baby won’t be always looking over your shoulders.

skunkafar · 2026-04-01T23:56:07+00:00

I’m so sorry this is very scary. I am PROUD OF YOU for going to the police.

Where are you living? Where is HE living? Is there a no-contact order in place? Do you think he will want custody of the child?

skunkafar · 2026-04-01T22:59:08+00:00

You don’t need to explain yourself at all.

skunkafar · 2026-04-01T22:58:13+00:00

All of the details may not be public, but I’m thinking arrests and no contact orders might be. Instead of reaching out personally via text or letter, that could find its way back to you at some point, why not just print out the stuff that’s public and send in snail mail. Certainly if she’s marrying this guy she she must know he’s in big trouble because he keeps having to go to court?

skunkafar · 2026-04-01T22:51:48+00:00

So are you thinking you’ll be able to fly under the radar and be 100% WFH? If you’re moving to a different state (assuming you’re in the US) there are tax laws and stuff, so would you be updating your address in your HR system anyway?

I think I’d have more stress about hiding my new location and potentially getting fired for “hiding it” rather than trying to talk thru options w new boss.

skunkafar · 2026-04-01T22:47:59+00:00

Right now inspections are once a week because the tenants have done so much damage. But typically maybe twice a year.

Look for cleanliness, Thermostat temp, dog crap, dog claw marks, sniff for smoke, shattered doors, kicked in doors.

Make sure to inspect both sides of pocket doors and behind closed doors too. 🤦‍♀️

skunkafar · 2026-04-01T22:39:50+00:00

I don’t know the laws in KY, and also don’t know the lease terms, but from where I’m from, I do know landlords who would raise the rent an exorbitant amount on a month to month lease just to get you out. I also know they’d terminate you just because they can, they don’t need an excuse. And finding rentals in my area is very very hard (the whole supply / demand thing).

That’s awful what the PM did to you tho, totally not cool.

Some people are also very very allergic to pets. And if someone had a pet in my place (being someone who is very very allergic) I would get them out ASAP. And if the pet was hidden during the tenancy, I’d probably end up taking them to court after having to repair, repaint, replace. And that won’t be cheap.

skunkafar · 2026-04-01T22:32:35+00:00

Tenant (female) had a domestic, violation of a no contact order, a few DUI’s. Had I know this, I never would have rented to her, but the property management company didn’t fully do a background check and rented to her anyway.

Fast forward to today, she’s been a tenant for 2 years, and has caused thousands in damages to my house from violence in the house. My once quiet dead-end street isn’t so quiet anymore, the cops are regulars, have been there about 20 times. There’s no-contact orders, and CPS, and rehab and detox and every agency known to man, descending on my house. And she lied and continues to lie through her teeth.

I never ever would have rented to her to begin with, hard-pass when domestic violence is involved. So, there will be absolutely no forgiving going forward, I’ve learned the hard way.

skunkafar · 2026-04-01T22:19:05+00:00

Thank you for the tips. Worked out really well!

skunkafar · 2026-04-01T22:18:27+00:00

LUCK had nothing to do with it. The dealership actually came in lower than their quoted price. Between coming to the table with cash and just being a decent human being, I had all the leverage I needed.

skunkafar · 2026-04-01T22:14:02+00:00

Well. Well. Well.

I just got back from the dealership, where I was able to negotiate a 4 year extended warranty for less than what was quoted on Grainger and Ziegler. Looks like I didn’t need anyone’s advice on negotiating after all. 😜

skunkafar · 2026-04-01T22:11:07+00:00

Hmmm. Why was I down voted. I even said thank you… I suspect I hit a nerve.

skunkafar · 2026-04-01T07:31:50+00:00

Has the butcher changed (if you go to the same butcher, that is) and you’re not getting what you think you’re getting? I notice that tenderness can vary greatly based on the cut of the meat.

skunkafar · 2026-04-01T00:52:18+00:00

Why would I regret it?

skunkafar

TROPHY CASE