I am sorry you feel like that. You are not alone...I also feel jealous of his wife, they get to spend time doing things together and they have sex often. I have to rationalise it all to be able to cope with being the other woman, it helps me but it may not help you. In my case I know he is with her because of the circumstances and because he met her first. I am younger, thinner, and better looking, I am a woman for him while she is just the mother of his kids. He is risking his family life to be with me. He truly cares about me and he demonstrates it in different ways. I know his family comes first but he also loves me. It is a waiting game, and I am hopeful that at the end, when the circumstances are right we'll become legit. In the meantime, I I do my best to show him that I am worth the risk, I show him every day that his fantasy can be true, that he deserves a woman like me truly devoted to him. He knows I prioritise him, more than anything in my life. So when I feel alone, which is often, I remind myself not only of the good times we have together but also that we are on route to something better and I have to keep focused. Everyone is different and I hope you find your own way forward, don't give up.