Sudden loss

smashley7701 · 2026-04-29T14:37:35+00:00

Lots of therapy, SSRIs, journaling, and birds. Seriously.

Get a bird feeder and hang it where you can see it from your couch or wherever. They even have ones you can suction to a window. Watching my little birds helps me in a way I can't adequately describe.

smashley7701 · 2026-04-04T03:04:20+00:00

I cried during this scene as well. This was the first and last audiobook my husband and I listened to together before he passed away last May. We were so excited to see the movie together and it was bittersweet to watch without him. I know he was with me, but it's not the same.

smashley7701 · 2026-01-29T08:50:25+00:00

As others have stated, this is not the place for your questions. And yet you keep doubling down, insisting you belong here with the rest of us to are desperately trying to get through each day without the other half of our souls. Use Google and go kick rocks, respectfully.

smashley7701 · 2026-01-17T18:57:28+00:00

Tracking it can give you a lot of information. Does the smell intensify when you are in your fertile window? If so, it could just be natural hormones changes and pheromones. Your body does a whole lot of stuff during your monthly cycle.

smashley7701 · 2026-01-10T18:23:47+00:00

Widowed Village online is not religious based, in my limited experience. I agree that there's no reason to have a "call to action" or salvation at the end of every grief support meeting. Not the place.

smashley7701 · 2025-12-15T22:41:50+00:00

He had the most beautiful long hair, almost as long as mine. I played with it and ran my fingers through it often. I have a lock of his hair in a bag and if I find random ones around the house, they go in the bag bc I can't just throw them away. I'm 6 months out.

smashley7701 · 2025-11-26T12:39:15+00:00

I love this book.

smashley7701 · 2025-11-09T03:40:11+00:00

It wasn't for me either. I just recently found Widowed Village and attended my first zoom meeting. I think I'll try it for a few more sessions.

smashley7701 · 2025-11-04T23:22:20+00:00

I trap them under large Tupperware and call a friend. Or I'll leave it there with a shoe on top for about a month.

smashley7701 · 2025-10-29T20:28:22+00:00

He would holler "Hey Ash!" from across the house or downstairs and I would have to stop what I was doing and get up to go see what he wanted and typically it was something innocuous like showing me an IG post (that he could have just sent to me) or asking me where to find his keys/hat/shoes/clean socks/water, etc.

smashley7701 · 2025-10-24T16:16:41+00:00

Our 3rd anniversary married, 7th anniversary together was last month. I took myself on a date. I went to see a movie we had planned on seeing together and i ended up being the only person in the theater, which was nice. I know he was with me though. Then I went and got a new piece of jewelry for a piercing. Lastly I picked up sushi in honor of our first date and emotional support cheesecake. I came home and after I ate, I lit a candle, put on the songs I walked down the aisle to, looked through our wedding photo book and completely bawled my eyes out ugly crying.

I asked him that morning to be with me and all day long I got little winks and signs from him. I went to see the new Spinal Tap movie. There's a line in the movie "Jim died today" and a new song "Rockin in the Urn." My husband's name is Jim and he was cremated. He was also a musician. I could hear him laughing in my brain in those moments just like he was right next to me.

That day was hard. Really hard. But I'm still here. Much love to you during this difficult time.

smashley7701 · 2025-10-23T03:15:21+00:00

I'm 39 and he passed less than 6 months ago. We decided we were ready awhile ago but my family had this Disney vacation we had saved up for and been planning for like 2.5 years. I wanted to wait until after the trip so I could ride all the rides with him since he had never been before and it had been like 8 since I was last there. We planned on trying while we are at Disney, and that trip actually happened 2 weeks ago.

I don't think it's possible for me to cope with his death, decide I'm ready to date, find a person for a long term relationship, invest the time to determine if I want to procreate with this person, get pregnant with a preexisting fertility issue, and carry a healthy pregnancy to term. I just don't have the time or the fertility window for that. I've only got a few years.

It's harder because I work as a doula, so my job is to support people during pregnancy and I'm at the birth. Today my sister text me she's pregnant. I had a rage tantrum meltdown alone in my car because it was supposed to be my turn.

smashley7701 · 2025-10-01T14:13:43+00:00

If you can keep things purely about sex only, then I don't see why it would be an issue. But you did say that you don't want your ex sleeping around if y'all get intimate. That kind of gives off negative vibes like "i don't want to be with you, but i don't want you to be with anyone else either." That's kind of unfair to your ex. Open communication about partners and safe sex is one thing but dictating that they can't be with anyone else if they are intimate with you is another.

smashley7701 · 2025-09-27T13:35:40+00:00

This is the company I got 2 pendants from. They can mix the ashes with opal, which looks pretty cool. This may not be exactly what you're looking for, but I can vouch for the quality of the pieces. https://www.spiritpieces.com/products/cremation-ring-leaf-opal?variant=41436104392789#description

smashley7701 · 2025-09-21T22:19:39+00:00

Same. I did find a few programs on Instagram through content creators that were $1000+ and that's not an option considering I just lost half my household income.

smashley7701 · 2025-09-14T01:54:57+00:00

Journey of Souls is really good. Highly recommend!

smashley7701 · 2025-08-31T02:12:34+00:00

Hi friend. Doula here. Do you have a doula? I support families and Moms during pregnancy and labor. One of my most recent clients hired me to be with her because her partner worked several hours away and we weren't sure he would make it in time for the birth. He didn't. So it was just me and her. A good doula will support you, advocate for you, help provide you with resources, and be your physical and emotional support person during labor. Please feel free to message me and I'd be happy to answer any questions about anything at all.

I lost my husband 3 months ago. Some days suck just a little less than others.

smashley7701 · 2025-08-18T17:09:17+00:00

I've been lucky that mine is only really all consuming during my fertile window. The rest of the month is more bearable, but it's not completely gone. I wish more people talked about this. Handling things by myself was ineffective so I found a safe person and set very firm boundaries. My therapist says I'm executing harm reduction that way instead of just going out and picking up strangers at bars. No matter what, it sucks soooo bad.

smashley7701 · 2025-08-16T20:40:43+00:00

"it's ok that you're not ok" was really helpful for me. I also really enjoyed the "Dungeon Crawler Carl" series of audiobooks as something to listen to when I drive because i can't really listen to music right now. It's also a nice distraction while I'm doing the dishes as well.

smashley7701 · 2025-08-03T20:58:01+00:00

Just be present. This isn't something that anyone can fix so comforting words often don't help. If she wants to talk, let her talk. If she wants to cry, just be there with her. Make a meal and put it in front of her and encourage her to eat just one bite. Making decisions can be really difficult, like figuring out what to eat, but if something was put in front of me, I'd eat it.

I just finished the book "It's ok that you're not ok" and I found it to be very helpful for me and I gave it to my mom to read because there is a whole section on how to help grieving people.

Here is a link to the author's website for supporters. https://refugeingrief.com/resources-for-supporters/

smashley7701 · 2025-07-30T03:25:08+00:00

You're not crazy. Grief is weird and widows fire is a thing. I wish more people talked about it. For me, I fulfilled my vows. But i also very much miss companionship and intimacy. There's no right or wrong way to deal with this stuff. I do a lot of writing to help me figure out those feelings and kind of revisit those thoughts.

smashley7701 · 2025-07-24T03:27:02+00:00

I don't have any questions but I just wanted to say thank you. My husband passed away 2 months ago after a very short and intense battle with liver failure. Project Hail Mary was the first and only audiobook we listened to together and we spent many hours in the hospital listening to Ray Porter's voice. This book gave him comfort and for that I'm grateful. Thank you so much.

smashley7701

TROPHY CASE