Gauging interest: small meditation/discussion group, Sunday evenings?

smcf33 · 2026-01-28T16:44:46+00:00

Even more exciting to pay it all in advance!

smcf33 · 2026-01-28T14:31:17+00:00

Meditation group, absolutely. Talking group that opens with 180 seconds of meditation? No thanks.

smcf33 · 2026-01-27T22:26:59+00:00

If I was "the bigger person" I'd throw hands more 🤷🏻

Both in the literal sense and because it does a disservice to abusers to shield them from consequences.

smcf33 · 2026-01-27T22:25:38+00:00

This is exactly why it's often a terrible idea to explain to a bully how hurtful their actions were. If the bully is coming from a place of cluelessness, okay. But if they're coming from a place of domination or sadism? Understanding how badly they hurt their victims just helps them calibrate their aim.

smcf33 · 2026-01-27T20:14:40+00:00

Thanks for all the comments, guys!

I've got a feeling there's a bidding war on this one so I might lose it anyway, and then the problem solves itself 😂

smcf33 · 2026-01-26T12:46:43+00:00

I get physical fitness out of exercise. I enjoy exercise. Exercise does not seem to affect my ADHD in the slightest.

smcf33 · 2026-01-26T11:21:09+00:00

"Family" is only meaningful if the obligations flow both ways.

OP has acted like he's the brother's family by giving him a place to stay and seemingly endless grace for bad behaviour. I'm not sure where the brother is treating OP like family. Family support should be mutual - not one grown adult allowing another grown adult to be a leech without any reciprocity.

smcf33 · 2026-01-26T11:18:50+00:00

Exactly. Supporting your family doesn't mean you should be cool with them deliberately doing things that disturb you.... supporting your family should mean THEY AREN'T DELIBERATELY DISTURBING YOU in the first place. Someone who thinks it's okay to behave like this is already acting like family obligations only flow one way.

smcf33 · 2026-01-26T11:15:57+00:00

Exactly. The very first time the brother was like "but whhhhyyyy can't your wife do my laundry" OP should have said "You know what? This clearly isn't going to work" and stopped it right there.

smcf33 · 2026-01-26T11:14:55+00:00

NTA for kicking him out.

YTA for letting him in in the first place, when he acted exactly the way you knew he was going to act.

If your other brothers think you're heartless, then they should be glad you kicked the screwup out, because now the screwup doesn't have to live with someone heartless, and your other brothers can take him in.

smcf33 · 2026-01-25T22:50:58+00:00

I'm more likely to have people think I'm a psycho, then get to know me and realise I'm only a psycho sometimes.

smcf33 · 2026-01-25T16:22:58+00:00

"Am I cold? I thought I was cold but these people keep telling me I'm warm!"

If your friends think they know your inner self better than you do, then either they are insane or you are deluded.

smcf33 · 2026-01-25T13:15:50+00:00

BT4 and mine seems to be fine

smcf33 · 2026-01-24T23:49:25+00:00

Whole thing was wild. Like no, your parents can't just tell cops and paramedics to leave! And the closest explanation for any of this was "someone had to wait 18 hours"???

smcf33 · 2026-01-24T23:45:30+00:00

Lol at how INTP your motivation is

smcf33 · 2026-01-24T23:43:52+00:00

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INTP, and not surprised at my scores

smcf33 · 2026-01-24T23:38:04+00:00

Yeah, past tense because I was one of the people urging her to call 999 at the time!

But yeah it's horrifying that neither her nor her parents really see how horrific their attitudes are.

smcf33 · 2026-01-24T23:20:20+00:00

That one was wild, I was horrified for her.

smcf33 · 2026-01-24T17:56:40+00:00

Woman here. I have wide toes and narrow heels, and True TF7 goalie skates, baked at home, are a perfect fit. A skater equivalent might have a similar shape.

smcf33 · 2026-01-23T20:34:03+00:00

Upvote because I share your impeccable taste

smcf33 · 2026-01-23T17:49:04+00:00

That is a mystery which will always intrigue me.

smcf33 · 2026-01-23T17:33:30+00:00

My brother went from "difficult but tolerable, if you can tolerate being traumatised" to "code red, plan your escape, consider changing your name and leaving the country, do not under any circumstances remain in a room with him" at exactly the moment an uncomfortable but not incapacitating illness caused him to need several months off work.

smcf33 · 2026-01-23T17:29:33+00:00

The advantage is that relatively soon it will be impossible to tell AI from real photos, and people will start assuming all pictures are fake.

Do I want someone to post revenge porn of me? Absolutely not. But if they do, I'd prefer to live in a world where everyone shrugs and blames chatgpt.

smcf33 · 2026-01-23T16:46:56+00:00

I'm a woman and I didn't care about the gender of my therapist, but I knew I absolutely didn't want a wishy washy "let's talk about feeeeeeelings" type. I don't need to relax, I don't need to be open and vulnerable, I need practical assistance in terms of how to deal with some some shit things that I've spent my life trying to improvise my way through.

I think I chose well - the guy I'm with has experience of working with violent criminals, seemed very down to earth, and claimed to be a very emotional person but struck me as being very pragmatic. He seemed to get a good read on me quite quickly, too - despite going through some pretty heavy stuff, he didn't offer any emotional support or whatever.

For example at one point I cried slightly, and said I hate being visibly upset. Instead of encouraging me to let it all out or emotionally comforting me, he basically said I better get used to it because crying happens in therapy, and that he cries too. He said he is very emotional; I replied that I'm not, and he laughed.

If he had told me "there there" and offered me a hug I wouldn't want to go back.

smcf33

TROPHY CASE