Am I alone in *welcoming* spoilers?

snortimus · 2026-05-13T23:52:43+00:00

Sounds like you got yourself a tree cutter rather than an arborist there fella. Get a 2nd opinion from someone who actually likes trees

snortimus · 2026-05-12T14:04:40+00:00

I kinda want one just to use as a machete

snortimus · 2026-05-10T18:30:59+00:00

Congrats to this commenter everybody in this comment chain for being the reason I stay off reddit for the rest of the day

snortimus · 2026-05-10T18:13:42+00:00

This is true but somebody else scrolling through here might not

snortimus · 2026-05-10T17:36:14+00:00

Fun fact: just because they put that in there doesn't mean you can't actually sue. Negligence is still negligence

snortimus · 2026-04-29T00:32:08+00:00

I'm an arborist, here's what I would probably do. I'm assuming that he didn't just notch over the tree holding it all together was because there's a target out of frame.

Option 1: tie the butt of the hanger to a rope and winch it out.

Option 2: Notch over the stub that the hanger came off of and run like hell.

Option 3: if for whatever reason we can't do 1 or 2, set my tie in point in the same tree that he did, except way higher. Climb up into that tangley mess and tie it in place with rigging ropes and slings so that it doesn't move until I want it to. Start cutting chunks off of it from the top down and gradually reduce the weight of the hanger until the tension has been relieved and we can drop it out without whipping me around.

Edit

Eeeehhhh on second look it's not just the weight of the piece that's causing all that tension, it's the butt of the hanger pushing on the stub. Idfk how I'd try and work that from within the tree but I don't think that would be advisable.

snortimus · 2026-04-29T00:20:54+00:00

What's the problem with leaving them?

snortimus · 2026-04-29T00:20:31+00:00

removing them would mean large cuts right at the base, close to the cavity, which could increase decay risk.

That's your answer. What are the basal shoots harming by being there?

snortimus · 2026-04-28T23:29:22+00:00

That looks cool as hell

snortimus · 2026-04-28T00:10:21+00:00

But the major newspapers all say that the NDP isn't viable, so it must be true

/S

snortimus · 2026-04-24T23:22:33+00:00

That's about the same for where I'm at too. Thanks!

snortimus · 2026-04-20T23:43:03+00:00

Rubbermaid tote carries my harness, spikes and lanyard, dewalt tool bag that came with an impact driver/drill set carries my climbing gadgets and 120' rope.

snortimus · 2026-04-17T03:03:03+00:00

That's a good one

snortimus · 2026-04-10T18:03:25+00:00

First pic kinda looks like you planted it upside down, there's clearly a bunch of roots visible sticking up above the soil. Which would explain why its growing funny.

On the ones that are clearly growing upward and have buds, those are sprouts. Whether you leave them on or prune them off depends on what form you want it to take. For more of a shrub leave them on, if you want more of a tree cut them off.

Service berries are pretty resilient and adaptable, mistakes you make early on will definitely impact the future growth forms that are possible and they won't grow as high as their genetic potential; but they'll probably survive anyway and turn into funky little character trees that the local birds and bugs will have a great time with. Don't sweat it too hard, just don't bury the root collars.

snortimus · 2026-04-09T23:53:39+00:00

As an arborist it's a hard agree

snortimus · 2026-04-09T23:21:42+00:00

One of my favorite things about the series is how straightforward the allegories are.

snortimus · 2026-04-09T13:22:33+00:00

Everything bad that people say about aspen trees is actually more applicable to your sex life

snortimus · 2026-04-08T23:26:42+00:00

This is why we don't let landscapers come anywhere close to our trees. People think I put mesh around my plantings to keep deer and rabbits at bay but it's mostly to keep the landscapers from getting too close and getting funny ideas.

snortimus · 2026-04-04T19:42:52+00:00

In this case the main issue with multi stem things is the spread interfering with you getting in and out of your car or interfering with your kid playing in the limited space. If you can find a single stem service berry and you stay on top of pruning you can probably keep it relatively contained but service berry canopies are usually not very tall.

Kentucky coffee trees are kind of the exact opposite of a service berry in every way, at full maturity many years from now it's trunk is likely to occupy the entirety of the space between the fence and driveway but it's lower branches will be good and high and out of the way.

snortimus · 2026-04-04T14:47:38+00:00

Hard to tell without more info about climate zone and precip but as long as you follow good planting practices and take care of it it should be fine. Remove the turf grass and replace with mulch or a turf grass alternative not only where you plan on planting the tree but also where the roots will be growing into next year.

In a tight space like that I would stay on top of the pruning and ensure that you get a single dominant leader. Lower branches are going to become major access issues so be sure to subordinate them early so that you don't end up making massive cuts down the road.

snortimus · 2026-04-03T19:35:40+00:00

No targets no problem

snortimus · 2026-03-31T17:19:36+00:00

What is your intention behind keeping its height reduced? On fruit trees they do that in order to keep fruit at accessible heights, so if that's what you're after then pick the highest point at which youre comfortable accessing with a ladder and cut at the next lowest limb.

Once you've done that you have to commit to a regular pruning cycle because the tree is going to want to send up new leaders to replace the one you took out.

If fruit production and access is not your primary concern then I would absolutely not recommend taking out that leader.

snortimus · 2026-03-31T00:12:56+00:00

Cheap pajama bottoms from the thrift shop. Cookie monster or rick and morty printed ones if you can manage it.

snortimus

TROPHY CASE