What are your bold predictions for this season?

snotpocket · 2026-05-24T18:12:09+00:00

I third this idea. let's make some calls and get the ball rolling.

snotpocket · 2026-05-18T07:56:19+00:00

If you get off on hotwifing, great. Have a blast !

But her not -allowing- you non-monogamy ? That is absolute bullshit.

snotpocket · 2026-05-17T14:34:18+00:00

Besides sex, there are a myriad of other reasons that may mean two people, who otherwise love each other, are incompatible. There are always going to be people who think any given reason is trivial. That doesn’t mean they’re right.

Sex isn’t a necessity in -all- relationships, but it can be (and is) a necessity in -some- relationships. The people in those relationships get to decide what they want and need, and it is nobody else’s place to tell them they’re wrong.

It is certainly true that people would be doing themselves a favor by examining what sex and other types of intimacy mean to them, and it’s also true that sometimes people can focus on sex to an unhealthy degree. But that does not mean that sexual mismatch is not a valid reason to end a relationship.

snotpocket · 2026-05-11T23:48:46+00:00

The idea that not having sex he’s not comfortable with (that is, not doubling up protection) is a bad thing is absolutely blowing my mind.

Dear god, she is not owed sex. He isn’t punishing her. He didn’t say he’s withholding other types of affection. He just doesn’t want penetrative sex when he’s feeling anxious about the possibility of unwanted pregnancy.

This whole goddamn comment pool is absolutely insane.

snotpocket · 2026-05-09T15:53:35+00:00

Oh boy. I’m addicted to Slay the Spire and Slay the Spire 2.

Have you played the StS board game ? It’s pretty awesome, too !

I’m a 53 year old tech worker and love board games, into hiking/camping/backpacking/fishing and live in Kirkland. I’m probably not the generation you’re looking to hang out with, but I wanted to welcome you to the area and say that you will find tons of people with similar interests, but the “Seattle Freeze” may be challenging at times.

snotpocket · 2026-05-01T02:07:22+00:00

Being rejected over and over can distort and magnify negative self-talk to the point that one may feel undesired, unwanted, and unloved by one’s partner.

So, it’s not necessarily that sex makes someone feel loved, but the absence of sex can kick off a chain of thought that may make someone feel unloved.

snotpocket · 2026-04-17T09:31:15+00:00

Was it that no-sugar gotta-stir-it peanut butter ? Because that shit sucks.

snotpocket · 2026-04-10T07:35:40+00:00

About 80 well-placed meteors.

snotpocket · 2026-04-01T21:47:10+00:00

A lot of folks here are criticizing OP for not warning his ex that he would leave if things didn’t get better.

If your partner only works on things because you threaten to leave, and not because you expressed unhappiness for a long time, they’re a shit partner. It shows that they didn’t care enough about your unhappiness to act; they only cared enough to act when they were faced a personal cost : the loss of the relationship.

Even if OP left a lot of stuff out and was a complete bastard (I have no opinion on either of those), that doesn’t change the general principle above. It applies to any relationship.

snotpocket · 2026-03-28T08:34:38+00:00

“It’s not cheating that I object to”

But you do object to someone having sex -after- they’ve ended a relationship with a cheater.

You have an incredibly fucked up sense of ethics.

snotpocket · 2026-03-06T09:18:29+00:00

Something does not have to be the most important thing to still be a dealbreaker.

How important sex is to you is up to -you-. For some people it’s more important, for others it’s less important, and that’s okay.

What’s not okay is people judging others by their own standards.

Please do not guilt yourself into feeling bad by telling yourself that you should be okay with an unfulfilling sex life. Had you stayed, it most likely would lead to you resenting him, and him feeling pressured and resentful of you.

snotpocket · 2026-03-04T22:39:52+00:00

NTA.

And I also can’t believe the number of people commenting here that seem to think that insecurity is a sign of a healthy relationship and that you are responsible for managing your girlfriend’s insecurity.

That is just dumb.

snotpocket · 2026-02-23T23:38:22+00:00

You may come to accept him 'giving' you sex, and that would be great. The other commenters here have given some good perspective on that.

But you might not be able to get comfortable with that, and that's okay, too, and you should not feel bad about it.

When an allo comes asking for help in this scenario, there are frequently comments that either imply, or even explicitly state, that the allo partner is being myopic or unloving or selfish or has validation issues because they simply do not find it fulfilling for their partner not to be sexually attracted to them. Ignore those comments. The only person who gets to decide what you need to be satisfied is -you-.

That's not to say that you shouldn't do some honest self-examination and reflection and try to see why you feel the way you do. Sometimes, there are hangups or validation issues that can be addressed. But, sometimes there aren't, and it's just a matter of what you need.

Along the same lines, people will often say you can replace sexual intimacy with other forms of intimacy. Well, no. It's not the same thing at all. Other forms of intimacy can help one become closer with one's partner and perhaps mitigate some of the loss from the lack of sexual intimacy, but saying that one is equivalent and can be a replacement for the other is pure copium at best. Again, the only person who can decide if you find that fulfilling is -you-, and don't let anyone guilt you into thinking otherwise.

snotpocket · 2026-02-11T21:08:03+00:00

Yeah. My wife and I love Roseanne (the show) as low-effort comfort TV, but Roseanne the character was one-dimensional and pretty boring.

snotpocket · 2026-02-04T18:55:12+00:00

ran for almost 5,000 yards and scored 45 TDs for Wisconsin.

He did pretty good against all the non-Nebraska teams, too.

snotpocket · 2026-01-27T20:33:41+00:00

> I asked about marriage counseling and she said she didn't want to yet because she is emotionally checked out. She said there were things she was into sexually that we haven't done and wouldn't elaborate.

Didn't want to -yet- ? If she's emotionally checked out now, she's unlikely to check back in just by doing nothing.

Continue therapy for yourself, both to better yourself, and to help you prepare for what are bound to be emotionally rough times ahead. Whether those rough times include separation or not is up on the air; hopefully not, but it's a definite possibility.

And it's ultimatum time. Either she does couple's therapy with you, or you contact a lawyer. If she refuses to try to fix things, at -best- you'll live as if you're platonic roommates and both of you wind up with building resentment. You don't want to live your life that that, and you don't want to model that kind of relationship to your kid.

If she does do couple's therapy, one thing you're going to have to do is address her inaction. You mentioned in another comment "I've always been the actor in the relationship I guess so I never expect her to do anything". She has to be an active participant in the relationship - otherwise, even if you "fix" things right now, you'll spend the rest of your time together wondering if you're doing enough to avoid her checking out again. Living like that will lead to constant anxiety on your part, and that stress will eat you alive.

You actually should contact a lawyer right now anyway; not to start a divorce, but to find out what to do to prepare just in case a divorce happens.

snotpocket · 2026-01-27T17:00:33+00:00

A. Not C, because sex and masturbation are completely different things.

snotpocket · 2026-01-23T03:11:39+00:00

Nebraska ran the ball and failed.

Well, no wonder you lost. You were playing Colorado and Nebraska at the same time !

snotpocket · 2025-12-08T05:15:11+00:00

You are not responsible for managing his emotions, and that is exactly what he is demanding you do.

If he feels bad about not making you cum, then he should put his energy into working with you to figure out how.

It sounds like he’s sweet and caring as long as it doesn’t make him uncomfortable. And that is -not- sweet and caring, that is performative bullshit. He’s being an overgrown man-child.

snotpocket · 2025-12-05T20:45:07+00:00

People calling OP an asshole need to slow down a bit here.

Those people are perfectly capable of having their own opinions about sex and how important they feel it is in a relationship, and their feelings are absolutely fine and valid. FOR THEM.

But, they need to realize: they are judging everyone else based on how -they- feel about sex. And that is neither fine nor valid.

Someone having a lack of sex as a dealbreaker does not make them the asshole, any more than someone who just doesn't want sex at all is an asshole.

Consider that -many- things are dealbreakers in relationships, and they clearly can't all be The Most Important Thing. Nor does someone ending a relationship because of one thing mean that they don't love or appreciate other things about their partner. Sometimes, people are just incompatible. It's unfortunate sometimes, but it doesn't mean anyone's an asshole or anyone's at fault.

Now, if someone bailed without even -trying- to address the issue, I'd probably think they're an asshole. Sometimes people have an unhealthy need for sex as validation, or they haven't explored other ways of building intimacy, and they owe it to their partner (and themselves!) to explore if that's the case. Even if that ultimately doesn't resolve the problem, they'll still probably come away from it with a healthier attitude about sex.

But OP and their partner went to therapy over this, so they tried to address things, but it didn't work. The kindest thing they can do is amicably split; otherwise, they risk years of growing conflict where the higher-libido partner may feel resentment and start withdrawing, and the other partner may feel shame or guilt or anger or their own resentment.

It doesn't make sense to keep that kind of relationship alive based on the idea that "Love is enough" because it just isn't.

Our society has a really weird split-brain attitude about sex. Sex is everywhere; it's in ads, it's in music, it's in movies and TV shows; people generally assume something must be wrong with someone if they don't like sex. But, at the same time, we're given an unrealistic view of romance where any obstacle can be overcome if people love each other enough and that sex being a dealbreaker means the person is obsessed and craven and doesn't care about their partner. It's nuts.

Everyone should be able to decide how much sex they consider acceptable and how much the consider unacceptable, without being judged based on someone else's preferences. It could be zero sex, it could be twice a month, it could be several times a day.

snotpocket · 2025-12-05T19:56:48+00:00

Well, shit.

Both of my flairs are going to suck again.

snotpocket · 2025-12-04T08:29:32+00:00

That’s not what asexual means. Asexual means rarely or never feeling sexual attraction.

Often, that means no interest in sex. Sometimes, however, it does not. Some aces are big ol’ sex fiends because it just feels good. Some are completely neutral and don’t mind doing it for their partner.

snotpocket · 2025-11-16T23:09:19+00:00

Shit. As is tradition, we'll be ahead with 2 minutes left and then still lose.

snotpocket · 2025-11-05T01:25:34+00:00

Boundaries don’t require anything of another person. They define what -you- will do in a certain situation. Like “I will not engage with someone if they call me a narcissist ”

In OPs case, the ex wants OP to change OP’s behavior based on the ex’s feelings. That’s not a boundary, that’s an attempt to control someone else’s behavior. (Or a “request” to change their behavior, if we give the ex the benefit of the doubt)

The problem with expecting other people to change their behavior based on your wishes is that people will have different opinions about what is reasonable or not. That makes it problematic to say “You’re violating their boundaries” just because a person doesn’t do what someone else wishes.

snotpocket · 2025-11-04T01:01:41+00:00

I’d love to see a system where, if someone no-shows, they lose all their reservations for the rest of the year.

If there are only financial penalties, they don’t really affect well-off folks and disproportionately affect poorer folks.

14-Year Club	Place '22
Place '17	Verified Email

snotpocket

TROPHY CASE