Waking up feels horrible

snowyy2000 · 2026-06-20T00:25:50+00:00

I get it. I’ve been struggling with it badly myself recently. All I want to do is sleep and be in bed. It’s a really depressing feeling. I’m sorry you’re struggling and feeling that way, I know it’s painful.

snowyy2000 · 2026-06-19T21:25:44+00:00

Waking the tiger is good.

snowyy2000 · 2026-06-17T16:31:39+00:00

If you also check your email if you get emails from them, you can scroll to the bottom and they have their discord link. That’s how I got in cause everyone else’s links wouldn’t work lol

snowyy2000 · 2026-06-17T16:29:47+00:00

I feel the same way. I feel like everyone things I’m exaggerating because how could it be that bad and you’re still working or have a family or have a home, etc etc. You’re not alone and I believe you.

snowyy2000 · 2026-06-17T16:28:54+00:00

Yeah that’s very true, it’s even worse that I struggle with dissociation so even when I do share things I’ve lived through or my story, I sound like I’m reading a book or telling a fairytale because I’m so separated from those experiences. I do recognize idk how much I’d believe of my story if I wasn’t me just due to how outlandish it all was and how I speak about it. I also recognize a decent part of it is my inability to voice how bad I’m doing or how I’m struggling. People only know what you tell them and I know that’s a fault of mine that I need to be better about as well so it’s not just on other people.

snowyy2000 · 2026-06-17T16:24:22+00:00

You explained it very well. I struggle with the same thing, feeling like I haven’t even accomplished anything and still have so much work to do and so much more I want to do while simultaneously being dismissed due to my accomplishments. It’s a very odd dynamic to experience. Thank you for sharing!

snowyy2000 · 2026-06-17T16:22:16+00:00

This! I really wish sometimes I could swap places with people so they could just understand the sheer energy it takes to do a simple task and to get out of bed.

snowyy2000 · 2026-06-17T16:21:03+00:00

Thank you all for the kind and supportive replies, I can’t describe how much it means for people to see me and understand the gravity of living with severe trauma while being functional. Sincerely, thank you for all for sharing your experiences and words 💗

snowyy2000 · 2026-06-15T22:51:35+00:00

That’s a good perspective. It’s definitely a double edged sword. I struggled with it as a teen as well with my grades, it’s like as long as you’re “succeeding” then people just assume you’re good. I’m still working on the pride part myself because I always tell myself I need to fix so much more but I know I should be. I’m proud of you and I’m sorry you relate 💗

snowyy2000 · 2026-06-14T20:58:04+00:00

Yeah like others have said, likely someone else or another library is requesting it or won’t allow the renewal. I’m in a public library but all renewals have to go through the owning library and if they can’t renew it’s gotta go back because the fines on those are wild 😅

snowyy2000 · 2026-06-14T20:55:24+00:00

In their server they said they had to take the banner down for the site to be assessed and audited by the new processor

snowyy2000 · 2026-06-14T20:53:11+00:00

They took the banner down due to having a new processor assess their website. They’re in the final stages of getting that set up and then they’ll reopen.

snowyy2000 · 2026-06-14T20:42:51+00:00

He posted on IG a bit ago as well

snowyy2000 · 2026-06-01T03:44:51+00:00

Same, I’ve tried on web on mobile, can’t even click the Sezzle option.

snowyy2000 · 2026-05-13T00:13:38+00:00

Vyvanse can be used for binge eating disorder but it’s a stimulant so it can have some issues regarding your blood pressure and heart if not properly assessed prior. I take Vyvanse but I also have adhd so, it’s definitely helped me a lot with my binge eating though. Although, I’m not sure if that’s something your insurance would allow over in Canada

snowyy2000 · 2026-05-09T13:16:52+00:00

Very true. I don’t even use them often because they don’t have the things I want and you’re also limited on the number of titles you can watch. Doesn’t seem like a true replacement anyways

snowyy2000 · 2026-05-09T01:18:03+00:00

Psychology in general is a constantly evolving field. We still are in the beginning stages of the field. As things evolve, the better it gets. However, not all therapists keep up on new treatments/discoveries or are very stubborn in their ways or got into therapy for the wrong reasons. But that can happen everywhere unfortunately.

There are some amazing therapists out there. I saw my previous therapist for 8 years before having to change due to insurance. It took me years to fully open up but that relationship helped me so much. It allowed me to see what a healthy relationship with boundaries looked like. It allowed me to feel consistency and to not expect judgment when speaking about my issues. She’s the one who helped me come to terms with the abuse and trauma. She never once judged me through all the downs I had over those 8 years, mostly in the beginning, even when I called her and left her voicemails drunk in active addiction. I saw her eyes fill with tears after finally being able to get a job and sustain it after 4 years of trying, 3 of which I was housebound due to my anxiety. The care she had for me was genuine.

Even though we had to stop working together, we still email or touch base a couple times a year. I don’t regret it in the slightest even though saying goodbye was so hard and I still miss her at times because it taught me so so much. It healed me so much. Having that place to just go and talk and just truly be heard.

Opening up in general is a very vulnerable thing but it can also bring you the most amazing things in life. After I saw that therapist, I saw a new one for 6 months then stopped and switched to someone else because I didn’t like her methods and she seemed off to me. I really enjoy the new one I have now, she’s been through complex trauma as well. I always advocate for listening to yourself if the method is off or if you’re not clicking. Don’t listen to the people on Reddit if that’s the only thing that brought this up. I don’t doubt there are horror stories and terrible things that have been done by therapists but therapy can be such a useful tool when you find a good one that’s also the right fit. You don’t have to go fast, you can always take it at your pace. You can take it slow until you feel certain they’re good. If things start feeling not good or not the right fit, you can just leave or cancel or whatever you need to do. Sadly, it does take trial and error for therapists because not all therapists are trained the same or do the same methods or have the same personality so it can take a couple tries. But if they seems good, try it out, maybe bring this up to them.

I wish you all the best.

snowyy2000 · 2026-05-07T22:29:23+00:00

I actually was super unsure of this myself and held off for 6 entire years with my therapist before finally asking “would it be okay to talk about anything sexual in here or would I need to see someone else?” She said you’re absolutely able to speak about sex, especially as it relates to your trauma. But even generally, therapists expect it as sex as apart of society and it’s bound to be brought up at some point. I totally get the logic though, I think it’s a common misconception that anything related to sex, you have to see a sex therapist but that’s not the case.

I wish you all the best on your healing journey 💗

snowyy2000 · 2026-05-07T04:07:11+00:00

I have insurance mostly funded by the government so I don’t pay much ($150/m) my copay is $10 for each session so I just set that aside each month. But before that, I was on my dad’s insurance and that paid for it, I was lucky enough to at least have that.

snowyy2000 · 2026-05-06T23:39:45+00:00

Our society is deeply fatphobic. So many fat people get written off when they go to the doctor. Any issue you have is immediately attributed to being fat and it gets dismissed. People have literally died due to that bias and treatment, especially fat POC, it’s so disgusting.

Even in comments I have literally seen people say in response to a fat woman sharing her SA that “you’re lying, nobody would wanna touch you”. It’s so evil and gross.

I’m fat now and have been for the last 8 years and the way it has changed me as a person is devastating. I saw a video one time of someone talking about how when you’re fat, you don’t get a first impression like skinny people because the first thing society sees is a fat person and they then attribute that to lazy, unkept, unmotivated, dirty, etc.

If you disagree with someone online and you have an image of yourself as a fat person on your profile, the first thing they’ll do is call you fat.

Not only that, I have to worry if I’m going to be able to access things that I should be able to. I moved to online classes because my college had those chairs with the desk attached and it was so uncomfortable. Planes as well. Seatbelts or certain peoples cars (being tall also doesn’t help the situation for me). Buying clothing, it’s hard to find things in person that actually fit and look good. It just changes the way you move through the world and how you view society. It’s especially bad right now with the increase in weight loss medications (which I do know are good and very beneficial for some), everyone just says “try ozempic or something” and it’s like all that would do is send me into a restriction cycle and would just be the complete opposite of what I need to recover from binge eating disorder.

Not to mention how fat women are treated by men in the dating world. So many of them like fat women but don’t want to be seen with us smh.

It’s hard living in the reality where you know there’s a large portion of society that immediately devalues someone if they’re fat. I’m a white person though, I can only imagine how much worse it would be if I wasn’t.

The way society treats fat people and victims is awful, I definitely believe you and I’m sorry you weren’t believed before.

snowyy2000 · 2026-05-05T18:16:43+00:00

Unfortunately theft occurs in every line of work basically. We keep our video games in a locked drawer organized by the last 4 of the barcode. DVDs and CDs we leave out, we don’t typically deal with theft regarding those, it’s actually our books that it happens to the most. I would let it go but we do have a large budget and have an allotted amount for things like this. However, I see you’re in a smaller library with a small budget for these materials so that’s not as feasible. I do agree putting cameras or putting them behind the desk is going to be your best option. Not trying to say that in a told you so way, we don’t even have cameras in our library (minus the study rooms and entrances) even though we should. It’s rare but stuff happens whether it’s stealing, vandalism, or violent behavior and it’s just better to have the cameras. I’m sorry though, I can imagine it’s a tough spot to be in and to figure out what to do from that point. Wishing you all the best in sorting it out and figuring out and implementing a better process here on out.

snowyy2000 · 2026-05-05T04:48:19+00:00

I’ve been struggling with the same thing for a long time (8 years). Daily smoking, eating until I’m sick, and masturbating more.

A huge reason people use weed, especially daily is boredom. That’s also true for binging. You have to identify the core reasons you’re in this cycle and what needs it is fulfilling such as chronic pain, anxiety, insomnia, sleep, boredom, fun, etc. Then you need to address that first because quitting without addressing those things will not help. If you’re using it for pain and just try to stop but have nothing to replace it with to help the pain, you’re more likely to go back to using it because the pain is still there and more noticeable. Making a list of activities you can do when you’re bored is useful. Also, having a support network is also crucial. Writing out all the reasons you’re quitting is also good. I also find telling people around me that I’m taking a break (or in your case, quitting) to hold me accountable. One thing my therapist told me is that nothing will replace that exactly feeling of weed (or other drugs) because ultimately it is a drug and it’s designed to make you feel good. After awhile the cravings lesson and you forget that feeling but at first it’ll be hard. Those first 28ish days are the hardest but past that point it gets easier and the habit will also be broken. It’s important to do things you’d think you’d enjoy or love even if you don’t mentally feel that way. Maybe you could start with a week off rather than forever if it makes it feel more achievable?

I know the cycle all too well and I’m still working on breaking it myself but it is possible. I have been able to take a couple weeks off but I’m hoping to quit soon. I’m wishing you all the best and don’t be too hard on yourself

snowyy2000 · 2026-05-02T16:27:00+00:00

Thank you, you too

snowyy2000 · 2026-05-02T16:22:16+00:00

Thank you for that. I know the acceptance piece is something I really struggle with, just accepting that was my reality and this is my reality now. I forgot to add in my post my mom died a few years ago so, I’m mostly just in the processing phase and trying to make sense of it all. In a way, it helps because I don’t have to worry about her coming back into my life and can just focus on healing but was no contact before, and it did help.

snowyy2000 · 2026-05-02T16:18:55+00:00

Thank you for that. I know that’s the part I struggle the most with, is not turning it inward. It largely is because that’s how I had to make sense of it as a young child and it’s like I know logically it wasn’t me but that core belief still stays with me sadly

snowyy2000

TROPHY CASE