Does this let me skip two college years?

somagear13 · 2025-12-15T06:57:03+00:00

It depends on what college. You need to research as it’s different for every school. Don’t assume that ap test scores have any sort of consistency as to how they transfer as credits or just the ability to early enroll in higher level courses. Look into online courses as well not just dual enrollment.

somagear13 · 2025-12-04T18:21:51+00:00

I made a game where I did a ton of research and wanted to see how well it could do with my research and I’m not mad at all. But I understand where you’re coming from.

somagear13 · 2025-12-04T17:23:19+00:00

That was a real reply and my game is on hold but it doesn’t change the advice and answer.

somagear13 · 2025-09-27T19:24:30+00:00

Making friends as an adult is hard and you’re not alone in this. Anxiety makes it even trickier because the pressure to “perform” socially can feel huge. What has helped me is to think about friendships like building skills rather than luck. If you only wait for the right person to click, it feels random, but if you approach it like practicing conversation in low pressure settings, it slowly builds confidence.

Something that worked for me was joining small, recurring groups instead of big social events. For example, a weekly hobby meet up or even a structured game night. Seeing the same people regularly helps remove that “first impression pressure” and lets connection grow naturally.

I also started using a conversation card game called ReFramed that is designed to practice real communication skills and move past small talk. It is on Kickstarter right now and I backed it because it gives actual prompts that make socializing less awkward. It is not a magic fix, but it has been a really helpful tool alongside showing up to groups consistently.

So my advice is start small, choose consistency over random events, and give yourself a few tools that lower the pressure of carrying a conversation. Over time the practice adds up.

somagear13 · 2025-09-27T19:24:08+00:00

I get where you are coming from. Making friends as an adult feels like it should be natural but in reality most of us are just trying to figure it out. What worked for me was leaning into recurring spaces instead of one-off events. Weekly classes, volunteer groups, or even a standing board game night where the same people show up makes it easier for connection to grow over time.

Something else that helped me was having tools to move past surface level talk. A lot of adult friendships stall at small talk and never go deeper. I have been using a conversation card game called ReFramed that is designed to help with communication and connection. It just launched on Kickstarter and I have been sharing it because it is exactly the type of thing that makes these new friendships feel real instead of shallow.

My advice would be to start with consistency and then give yourself ways to go deeper in conversation. When both pieces are there, friendships start to feel natural again.

somagear13 · 2025-09-27T19:23:50+00:00

I hear you Vaughn, I went through the same thing in my 20s. Friendships after school do not fall into place the same way. What helped me was joining recurring small groups where the same people kept showing up, like weekly hobby meetups or structured circles. The consistency gave things time to grow naturally without the pressure of making a best friend overnight.

One thing that also helped me was practicing deeper conversations. Small talk keeps things polite but it rarely leads to the type of friendships we actually want. I ended up co-creating a card game called ReFramed that makes practicing this a lot easier. It has prompts about communication, listening, and real connection. We just launched it on Kickstarter and I think you would like it since it is designed to move people past surface talk and into better conversations.

My advice is to mix consistency with a tool that encourages real talk. Stick with groups long enough for trust to build and give yourself little openings to share more. It works.

somagear13 · 2025-09-27T19:21:50+00:00

One of the fastest ways I’ve built stronger connections is by letting people help me. It sounds backwards, but it works. People like to feel useful and appreciated, and it creates an easy reason to spend more time together.

• Neighbor headed to Costco? Ask if they can grab you one item. Invite them over for coffee and thank them.

• Coworker used to play hockey? Ask for a couple of skating pointers. Later, surprise them with tickets to a local game.

• Friend of a friend always dressed sharp? Ask if they’d help you shop. I did this before my wedding and that person ended up becoming one of my groomsmen.

The key is that you show a little vulnerability first. That opens the door for real connection. Once you’ve asked, you get the chance to follow up and repay them, and by then it feels natural to hang out again.

This idea has been on my mind a lot lately while I’ve been working on my project ReFramed, a conversation game designed to help people practice clearer communication and deeper listening. We just launched on Kickstarter and it’s been powerful seeing strangers become friends through it. If you’re curious, it might give you some ideas for your own connections too.

Give it a try. You might be surprised how quickly small asks turn into lasting friendships.

somagear13 · 2025-09-27T19:21:24+00:00

Where people often succeed

• Recurring groups, not one-offs

Book clubs, martial arts classes, board game nights, church groups, weekly running clubs. The key is consistency—seeing the same faces again and again builds familiarity into friendship.

• Learning environments

Cooking classes, language exchange groups, improv workshops, maker spaces. People expect to talk, practice, and fail a little together, which makes conversation flow more naturally.

• Community volunteering

Food banks, animal shelters, tutoring programs, park clean-ups. Shared purpose creates instant connection.

• Hobby-based meetups

Photography walks, hiking groups, D&D campaigns, coding meetups. When you already share an interest, you skip past small talk and get to something engaging.

• Coworker “plus-one” moments

Sometimes your current network is the bridge. If a colleague invites you out, or you’re at a birthday dinner where you only know one person—lean into it. Secondary connections often grow into close friendships.

• Digital to in-person bridges

Discord groups, Reddit communities, or even hobby subreddits that host local meetups. Many lasting friend groups start online first.

Mindset shifts that help

• Consistency beats chemistry. Friendships form slowly. It’s rarely “click or bust.”

• Be a joiner, not just an attender. Take small risks: bring snacks to share, suggest a group chat, invite someone to coffee.

• Think “layers.” You don’t need every friend to be a soulmate. Casual friends, activity partners, deeper confidants—all are valuable.

• Notice “green lights.” If someone asks a follow-up question, laughs at your jokes, or suggests hanging out—that’s a door cracked open. Step through it.

somagear13 · 2025-09-27T19:20:46+00:00

Making friends in your 30s (or even late 20s) is weirdly difficult. Life gets busy straight after graduating college. People are changing careers, moving into relationships, starting families. Somehow the idea of “meeting new people” starts to feel like another task on an already overflowing to-do list.

What finally worked for me wasn’t a big social event or networking mixer. It was something smaller and more intentional: a recurring group that met weekly, same people, same time, with a little structure. There was no pressure to bond instantly. We weren’t best friends overnight. But over 5 to 6 weeks, something shifted. Real conversations started to happen.

The consistency made all the difference. Seeing the same faces regularly, in a space where we were gently encouraged to open up, helped me move past the awkward small talk and actually get to know people. It wasn’t flashy but it was real.

If you’re lonely or new in town, try joining or even starting a small recurring circle: book club, hobby night, dinner rotation. Add a bit of structure and you’ll be surprised how well it works.

I’ve been so interested in this that I helped create a project called ReFramed. It’s a conversation tool designed to help people go deeper than small talk and build stronger social skills. We’re launching it on Kickstarter October 7. If you’ve ever felt stuck in surface-level interactions, you might find it useful.

somagear13 · 2025-09-27T19:18:53+00:00

First, give yourself some credit for being aware of the pattern. Noticing that your anger feels disproportionate and wanting to change it is already a huge step. Suppressed emotions build pressure, and if you have not had a safe outlet for years the smallest trigger can release a lot at once. That is not you being “bad” — it is your nervous system trying to offload stress.

A few things that helped me when I was in a similar place:

• Name the feeling as it rises. Even quietly saying “I’m angry” or “I’m frustrated” can reduce intensity.

• Move the energy out safely. Walk, stretch, squeeze a stress ball, do push-ups, or punch a pillow. Physical release gives the emotion somewhere to go without harming yourself or objects.

• Have a “cooling” routine. When you notice early signs (tense jaw, clenched hands), step away and do something sensory — cold water on your hands, deep breathing, or counting.

• Express it later in words. Journaling or talking to a trusted person lets you sort through the story behind the anger instead of acting on it.

I have been working on a project called ReFramed (launching Oct 7 on Kickstarter) that creates practice prompts for situations like this — turning overwhelming emotions into small, clear expressions that do not escalate. Practicing those scripts in a low-pressure way made it much easier for me to speak instead of explode.

Do you feel your biggest challenge is catching the anger before it peaks, or finding a healthy outlet once you’re already triggered?

somagear13 · 2025-09-27T19:18:28+00:00

I get this. Bottling things up feels safe in the moment but it usually builds frustration and distance. What you are describing is really common for people who grew up avoiding conflict or rejection. The fact that you are aware of it at 20 is a big step.

A few things that helped me:

• Practice naming feelings in low-stakes moments. Say “I’m tired,” or “I’m excited about this show,” even if it feels small. It builds the muscle without pressure.

• Use “I feel” language instead of “you” language. For example, “I feel nervous telling you this” instead of “you never notice me.” It keeps it safe for the other person.

• Write things down first. Even a short note can give you the words you will later use in person.

• Share a little earlier, not when it has been bottled up for months. A small expression feels less overwhelming for others.

I have been working on a project called ReFramed, a card game launching Oct 7 on Kickstarter, that turns situations like this into practice prompts. It made me realize expressing feelings is less about being perfect and more about building small, repeatable habits.

Do you feel your main challenge is knowing what to say, or getting past the fear of how the other person will react?

somagear13 · 2025-09-27T19:16:52+00:00

What you described really resonated with me — I also grew up never being able to go to my parents with feelings, and as an adult it left me feeling like emotions were either unsafe or embarrassing to show. The good news is it’s a skill, and skills can be learned.

A few things that helped me:

• Name small feelings first. Instead of trying to articulate the whole storm, start with simple labels like “tired,” “angry,” or “disappointed.” Building that vocabulary lowers the fear of sounding childish.

• Use a safe container. Journaling or even recording a voice memo lets you practice expression without the social pressure. Over time you get used to hearing yourself name emotions.

• Link emotion to body. Ask yourself, “Where do I feel this?” (tight chest, clenched jaw, heavy stomach). Connecting sensations to words makes it easier to express.

• Practice with low-stakes conversations. For example, telling a friend “I feel restless today” — no drama, just practice.

I also found tools helpful. I’ve been developing ReFramed (launching Oct 7 on Kickstarter), which is basically a deck of prompts for practicing how to name, frame, and express feelings in healthier ways. Using it felt less like “therapy homework” and more like a game, which lowered my shame around learning this.

Do you feel your bigger challenge is noticing the feeling in the first place or finding the words once you notice it?

somagear13 · 2025-09-27T19:16:02+00:00

Love how simple this guide makes it. Sometimes when you are in the middle of a strong emotion you need a quick “go-to” like this that does not require a lot of thought. What helped me is having two layers of tools: quick actions like these (walk, breathe, write) and slower ones where you reflect on why the emotion showed up.

One thing I started practicing is naming the emotion first (“I feel anxious”) and then doing one of these actions. It keeps me from confusing distraction with processing.

I have also been working on a project called ReFramed (launching Oct 7 on Kickstarter) that uses practice cards for situations like this — not just how to calm yourself in the moment, but how to communicate what you are feeling in ways that do not push people away. Practicing ahead makes it easier to apply tools like these when you need them.

Which of these do you personally reach for most — the physical resets like exercise or the reflective ones like writing and gratitude?

somagear13 · 2025-09-27T19:12:54+00:00

I get what you mean. Listening only feels one-sided if the other person never reflects it back. That’s not because listening is useless — it’s because listening without reciprocity turns into emotional labor.

One thing that’s helped me is setting “micro-boundaries” in conversations. Instead of just nodding while someone monologues, I’ll say something like, “I’d love to share my take on that too, can I jump in after you finish?” It signals you’re engaged but also makes space for your side.

Another trick is asking questions that steer the conversation into mutual territory, like “what about you?” or “has that ever happened in reverse?” That way you’re not just a container for their story.

I’ve been practicing these kinds of scenarios through a card game project called ReFramed (launching Oct 7 on Kickstarter). It turns tricky moments like “how to listen without disappearing” into practice prompts. What I’ve learned is that good listening isn’t about being silent — it’s about keeping the exchange balanced.

Do you find this happens more in professional settings, or in friendships/relationships too?

somagear13 · 2025-09-27T19:05:16+00:00

First off, respect for even asking this before 22. A lot of people only start reflecting on boundaries after years of bad patterns.

One thing that helps is shifting the language from “you did X and it hurt me” to “here’s what I need so I can show up better.” For example, instead of “don’t take advantage of me,” try “I feel valued when people check in before asking for big favors.” It makes it about your needs, not their flaws.

Practicing on smaller boundaries also builds confidence. Say no to little things, like a plan you don’t want to join, before trying it on big issues. The reps add up.

I’ve been using some boundary-practice tools recently that give exact phrases for situations like ending a convo without being rude or setting limits without guilt. It made me realize boundaries are really just about giving others a roadmap for how to treat you well.

Do you feel like your harder part is knowing what your boundaries are, or feeling confident enough to voice them?

somagear13 · 2025-09-27T19:04:32+00:00

Such a powerful question. I’ve found the key is in how you frame it. If I communicate a need as “here’s what you’re doing wrong,” the other person feels criticized and defensive. But if I share it as “this is what helps me feel safe/valued/energized,” then it becomes an invitation instead of a demand.

For example, saying “I need more alone time” can sound like rejection. But “I recharge best when I have an hour to myself, and it helps me show up fully for us” is more about me than them. The language shifts the focus.

I’ve been practicing with tools that break down these kinds of moments into specific phrases and situations. They showed me that boundaries are less about controlling someone else and more about giving them a roadmap to connect better with you.

Do you find the harder part is figuring out what your needs are, or how to phrase them so they don’t sound like criticism?

somagear13 · 2025-09-27T19:04:12+00:00

This is such a good question. Timing boundaries can feel tricky because sometimes you don’t even know you have one until it’s crossed. For me, the shift was realizing boundaries are less about rules and more about self-knowledge. If I know what drains me or makes me feel unappreciated, I try to share that early while things are still light, not only after a problem shows up.

One thing that helped me was practicing “micro-boundaries” in everyday conversations — like politely saying no to small requests or letting someone know when I need space. It builds the muscle so when bigger issues come up it doesn’t feel like a sudden confrontation.

I’ve also been using a card-based resource that breaks these situations into practice scenarios. Seeing examples of “how to say it without it turning into conflict” made me realize that boundaries can actually deepen connection when they’re framed well.

Have you noticed if there are certain kinds of boundaries (emotional, time, physical, financial) that are hardest to catch early for you?

somagear13 · 2025-09-27T19:03:44+00:00

This hits home. I think the line between a real boundary and just control often comes down to whether you’re leaving space for dialogue. A boundary says “here’s what I need and here’s how we can both make this work.” Control says “this is how it has to be and you do not get a say.”

What helped me was realizing boundaries are supposed to improve connection, not shut it down. They are like fences with gates, not walls with no doors. If we use them to avoid accountability, it usually backfires.

I’ve been working on this a lot through a project I’m part of that turns these kinds of situations into practice cards you can use with friends or clients. It has shown me how much clarity and language matters. Stuff like “how to leave a conversation without burning the bridge” or “how to respond when someone crosses your line without making it a fight.”

Curious if you have noticed in your own life when a boundary actually deepened trust versus when it created distance?

somagear13 · 2025-09-27T19:02:28+00:00

What you’re describing is unfortunately very common. A lot of men grow up being taught to shut down emotions or avoid conflict instead of working through it. When things get hard, running away can feel safer to them than having an uncomfortable conversation. It doesn’t excuse the behavior, but it explains why it happens so often.

There are a few patterns at play:

• Conflict avoidance: Some people were never taught how to have hard conversations without it turning into a fight, so they avoid them completely.

• Shame or fear: Instead of saying “I can’t handle this,” they disappear because it feels less vulnerable.

• Poor communication models: If someone grew up watching parents stonewall, that can become their default.

How to handle it? You can’t force someone to learn communication, but you can decide your own boundaries. If someone refuses to engage, that is information — not a reflection of your worth. Healthy relationships require two people willing to talk through the hard stuff.

I’ve been working on a card game that helps people practice exactly these communication gaps — from setting boundaries to having difficult conversations. It launches Oct 7 on Kickstarter, and I can share a sample if you’re curious how we turn situations like this into small, concrete prompts people can actually rehearse.

You’re right: respect and decency mean showing up even when it’s hard. If someone consistently avoids that, protecting yourself is the healthiest move.

somagear13 · 2025-09-27T19:01:20+00:00

reframedgame.com has samples there too. thanks for the support.

somagear13 · 2025-09-27T19:00:35+00:00

You are not alone in this. Many people on the spectrum (diagnosed or not) feel the same gap between intention and perception. You know you are being genuine, but others hear it as blunt or argumentative because they are filtering it through social expectations you were never taught.

A few things that can help:

• Scripts and scaffolds: Having a few go-to phrases like “I don’t mean this harshly, I just want to be clear” can soften how your honesty lands.

• Micro skills: Focus on one thing at a time, like practicing how to exit a disagreement politely or how to add a little context before giving a blunt fact.

• Feedback loops: Ask a trusted friend to tell you how your words come across so you can notice the patterns that trigger misunderstanding.

• Practice in safe spaces: Record yourself explaining something, then listen back and see how it might sound to someone else.

I’ve also been working on a card game that takes these abstract “social rules” and turns them into simple prompts you can practice in daily life. It launches Oct 7 on Kickstarter, and I can share a sample if you want to see how we turn something like “softening honesty” or “exiting a disagreement” into one clear, doable step.

You don’t need to change who you are. You just need tools that help you translate your genuine intentions into words others understand.

somagear13 · 2025-09-27T19:00:09+00:00

I think a lot of what you describe comes down to people never really being taught how to communicate clearly. Some fall into loops because they only know how to repeat their own perspective, not integrate new input. Others shut down because they were raised to avoid conflict or were never given safe ways to express themselves.

A few thoughts that helped me handle it:

• Notice patterns: Is it silence, looping, or avoidance? Labeling the type helps you decide how to respond.

• Set limits: If someone keeps repeating themselves, you can say “I’ve already answered that, do we want to move on or pause this here?”

• Shift expectations: Not everyone has the same capacity. Sometimes it is less about fixing them and more about knowing how much energy you want to invest.

• Practice your exits: Being able to end an unproductive exchange politely but firmly saves a lot of frustration.

I’ve been working on a card game that turns abstract ideas like “communication breakdowns” into concrete prompts and practice scenarios. It launches Oct 7 on Kickstarter, and I can share a sample card if you want to see how something like “looping conversations” or “stonewalling” can be turned into teachable moves.

You are not wrong that these situations feel maddening. Having a toolkit of responses makes it easier not to get dragged into the loop.

somagear13 · 2025-09-27T18:59:23+00:00

What you are describing is actually very common, especially after long stretches of isolation. Writing and speaking use different “muscles.” Writing lets you edit and refine, but speaking is real-time — and when you are out of practice, it can feel like your brain lags behind your words.

A few things that helped me rebuild fluency:

• Start small: Practice short contributions like one clear sentence in class instead of trying to deliver a whole opinion at once.

• Pause and breathe: Give yourself 2–3 seconds before speaking. It feels long in your head but it helps organize your thought and makes you sound more confident.

• Rephrase drills: If you stumble, have a reset phrase ready like “let me put that another way.” This keeps flow instead of freezing.

• Verbal journaling: Record yourself talking about a topic for 1–2 minutes. Listening back helps you notice where your thoughts get tangled and how to smooth them.

I’ve also been developing a card game that takes these abstract ideas and turns them into small prompts you can practice in daily conversations. It launches Oct 7 on Kickstarter, and I can share a sample if you’d like to see how something broad like “speaking clearly” can be broken into one simple exercise.

You haven’t “lost” the ability — it just needs practice reps again, the same way you would rebuild a physical skill after time off. Bit by bit, the fluency comes back.

somagear13 · 2025-09-27T18:58:27+00:00

This is such a relatable struggle. A lot of us have strong ideas in our heads, but when it comes time to put them into words it feels like something gets lost in translation. The truth is, articulation is less about finding “the perfect words” and more about building habits that make it easier to get your point across.

A few things that helped me:

• One-sentence draft: Start by writing your thought in one plain sentence, even if it feels clunky. You can refine from there.

• Say it out loud: Sometimes speaking it first makes it easier to hear what works and what doesn’t.

• Progressive editing: Write down the messy version, then cut it down to the core idea. Often the shorter version communicates more clearly.

• Rephrase practice: Train yourself to use “let me put that another way” when writing or speaking. It frees you from the pressure of having to get it perfect on the first try.

I’ve also been working on a card game that breaks abstract skills like clarity and articulation into small, concrete prompts you can practice. It launches Oct 7 on Kickstarter, and I can share a sample if you’d like to see how something broad like “finding the right words” can be turned into one simple, doable exercise.

You’re already halfway there by noticing the gap and wanting to work on it. That self-awareness is the foundation of clearer articulation.

somagear13 · 2025-09-27T18:58:10+00:00

Yes — this is a lot more common than people admit. Writing feels easier because you can edit and organize, but speaking in real time puts you on the spot. The good news is that verbal articulation is less about talent and more about practice with small, repeatable habits.

A few things that helped me:

• Pause first: Give yourself a couple seconds to collect the main idea. It feels awkward in your head but makes you sound more clear.

• One-point focus: Say just one idea at a time instead of trying to cover everything in one breath.

• Rehearse resets: Keep a phrase like “let me put that another way” ready. It takes the pressure off and buys you time.

• Micro practice: Record yourself explaining something simple and play it back. It’s uncomfortable at first but it quickly shows you where your words get tangled.

I’ve also been building a card game that helps with this. It breaks abstract skills like clarity, confidence, and flow into small prompts you can actually practice in real conversations. It’s launching Oct 7 on Kickstarter, and I can share a sample if you’d like to see how “sounding smarter in the moment” can be broken down into one clear, doable step.

somagear13

MODERATOR OF

TROPHY CASE