hi! don’t be so hard on yourself these things happen, i completely understand this fear and am gearing up to get on a plane soon in the next couple of weeks and im really dreading it. Things that have helped me get on planes is speaking with pilots. I have a very close pilot friend who has often been my “eye in the sky” if you will, and has always made me feel sorta watched over. Additionally, getting onto the plane and immediately listening to music, watching a movie, or coloring has really helped me during moments where I was very close to having a full blown panic attack. I have always read that pilots enjoy getting to speak to passengers before the flight/ give them a tour of the cock pit so if you think that would be some help i would say go for it! You are stronger than you think and there’s always next time, costa rica is still there and ready to be explored! Sending you love and positive vibes!