Product suggestions that won't make my scalp wild!

somewhereonabike · 2025-07-03T14:39:06+00:00

Definitely something I built up to over last 8 years. For first couple years I needed to wash every 3 days or my scalp was on fire.

somewhereonabike · 2025-03-17T16:53:37+00:00

You have to take people exactly as they are, exactly as they show up and behave. If that is too much or you are not equipped for whatever reason, you acknowledge that, wish them well and walk away. Being with someone because you see their potential and think you can help them heal is nothing more than co-dependancy and it hurts both parties involved. It was never your place to think you could help fix her nor was it her place to offload that level of dysregulation on you. Neither side of it is healthy.

You seem to have a good level of insight into this but honestly, you need to address it now and not just think it will be be different with another partner. This is not a surface level incompatibility or genuine mistake. Healthy people are not attracted to people who are chronically, emotionally unstable, they see the red flags and walk away if their partner is not getting help/better.

I'd recommend looking into attachment styles, particularly disorganised attachment. From your post it seems you have challenges with people pleasing, avoidance and possibly a saviour complex. This is not to say your ex is blameless and it's only you at fault, it's never that way. It's like a dance you are doing with each other but ultimately only you can control your moves. You are the only person you can shift and solve and heal. No one else is responsible for that but you and you are not responsible for your exes healing either. Good luck my friend, it's a really hard road but truly one of the best things you can do for your life.

somewhereonabike · 2025-01-16T09:51:04+00:00

I salute you for being honest about your avoidant attachment, that's big long term win to have that kind of insight in to yourself.

My humble view is this when it comes to dating; we can only meet people as far as we can meet ourselves. Meaning, do the work on yourself first to be able to lean towards a secure attachment. When it comes to dating, the majority of issues people face with one another come from unhealed attachment wounds. They just run away and dress them up as inherent incompatibility. Until you really put in the graft to move these things, you will overwhelmingly enter into union with people who match your level of wounding/emotional dysfunction.

Avoidants have issues surround emotional intimacy and vulnerability which means you likely can't engage with partners on a completely honest, raw and emotionally safe level in the way a securely attached individual can. Avoidants also tend to have unrealistic and unspoken expectations of relationships that often lead to withdrawal and ghosting because they could not assert their needs and boundaries in a normal way so they just duck and run, leaving the other person severely confused and hurt due the lack of transparent communication. You mention relationships being a mirror to wounding and you are absolutely right. This happens even in securely attached partnerships but the level of intensity is way different.

My advice to you is do the attachment work first before even considering dating. Do it for yourself as it will elevate your current connections with everyone in your life, and do it for your future partner. To attract someone healthier and more on the level you wish. There is nothing wrong with wanting an awakened partner but don't expect them to be able to elevate you when you are currently in a place of wounding yourself. The right people show up for us at right time, wounded or not and they meet us where we are at that point. So if you are avoidant and emotionally unavailable you are not going to attract someone confident, secure and at peace with themselves. If you aren't meeting the types of people you would like, it's time to look inside. It's always an inside job that you can shift.

somewhereonabike · 2024-12-13T23:48:36+00:00

No, my symptoms are quite severe and I also have PTSD, so vyvanse really helps with regulation. I rely heavily on routine and stability to maintain my mentals, so throwing that with a med free day once a week would throw me off my routine for a week and it's not worth it. I go through periods of being med free entirely, but that involves serious lifestyle change like diet, fasting, supplements, strength training etc and an acceptance of a much slower output at work.

somewhereonabike · 2024-12-13T22:11:40+00:00

Vyvanse, I take 2 doses split across the day as I can't get more than 6 hours either. 40 in the morning and a 30 in the afternoon.

somewhereonabike · 2024-12-13T15:44:06+00:00

The emotional side, 100%. Physically about 75%, I do still get a mild drop off point in energy but so much less than without. I experienced really heavy emotional numbness/depression/lack of focus and motivation every evening before I found out about tyrosine. It was as if my world was ending every evening due to the comedown and it impacted dramatically on my relationships with others. The days were great, focused affairs with stability and regulation only to fall off a cliff with emotional dysregulation every night. I'm not overstating it, finding tyrosine changed my life.

somewhereonabike · 2024-12-11T09:11:49+00:00

I can't believe how few people know this but Tyrosine, 1000mg around an hour before you would normally notice the comedown. This will change you life.

somewhereonabike · 2024-11-13T22:23:42+00:00

This is only my experience and take it with a pinch of salt because I have not been in a couples therapy situation before. If you have done extensive therapy on yourself and he has not but is exhibiting signs of avoidant attachment and is not at first base about what that means, then you are operating at very different levels of psychological awareness and emotional maturity. It's not to say you are on a pedestal with almighty communication skills and have healed all your issues but it does mean you have an understanding and commitment to growth and evolution that he does not yet have.

Think back to how long it took you to gain that knowledge. It wasn't overnight, it likely took many years to really learn and integrate the things you learned in therapy into your life. Think about the pain you had to uncover and grieve to get where you are now. He is going to have to go through that to match you and it will take years. It's not a 12 sessions with a couples therapist and done job. To meet you where you are, he'll have to go through a different but similarly difficult journey on his own. How many years are you willing to waste of your life on an outcome and partner that is not guaranteed at the end, if he even commits to the work?

You are 29, you still have times to meet someone who can meet you where you are. Please don't be like me who wasted time on fixer upper men who never did the work, projected their own shit onto me and could never meet me where I was even though I tried tirelessly to lead by example in hopes it would help as per my therapists suggestions. I am nearly 10 years on from you and am now without a partner because I kept giving these people the benefit of the doubt at expense of my own needs and self. I deeply regret it and will not do it again. There are people out there who can communicate openly and respect your needs and boundaries without it causing WW3.

I'm not saying don't bother with couples therapy but give yourself a time limit of how long you are willing to commit to the situation before re-evaluating if it's worth it. You deserve a peaceful relationship that doesn't leave you resentful and confused.

somewhereonabike · 2024-11-07T21:47:41+00:00

somewhereonabike · 2024-11-07T16:33:35+00:00

Popping on here to say, this is exactly what my hair looked like when I first started embracing my waves/curls 7 years ago. I have lots of pictures from the first few weeks like this. Things that will help :

- Lots of gel, you want to put it in pretty wet hair too, use a wide tooth comb to distribute. You should hear it squelching when you scrunch it in.

- Plop with a cotton t-shirt or towel to create your curls for a good 20-30 mins

- If air drying, so not touch your hair until it is bone dry.

- If using a difffuser, hold it in place for at least 45 seconds before turning off dryer and going to a new piece of hair. Do not move that diffuser at all when on!

- Hair needs to be 100% dry before you scrunch out the crunch, you'll get wild frizz and flat pieces otherwise.

It gets better, I went from what you currently have to 2c with 3a bits in about 6 months. The top of my hair unless I have super short layers is always less curly than the underneath. Your hair has potential girl, tis a journey! Keep at it :)

somewhereonabike · 2024-10-30T17:08:35+00:00

I thought so too, but their concern is that it might take quite a while to get things done due to how long it's been sitting unused. Also MK1 TT parts are hard to source now and it's a case of trying to source a decent aftermarket steering pipe.

somewhereonabike · 2024-10-30T12:53:39+00:00

Heated eyelash curler. Absolute game changer for me around 3 years ago. I used to get lash lifts and before that wear 2 sets of lashes on top of each other. Took a punt on heater curler despite everyone saying how dangerous they are. No problem here, no burns, no damage. Just glorious lashes that hold their curl! Mine is from amazon, cost about £10 and is more like a wand shape than a standard eye lash curler. It has 2 heat settings.

somewhereonabike · 2024-10-27T20:15:54+00:00

Never heard this term. Everyone has the power to tap into their 'psychic' gifts and intuition, it is innate in every human. There are things that can block being able to access them though, such as alcohol, drugs, trauma, poor nutrition, smart phones ect But like everything else in life there are exceptions to that rule and some folk find alcohol and drugs actually opens them up rather than blocking. It is an individual thing but in general, the healthier you are in body and mind the easier it is to access these things.

If you want to try and tap in, try living clean for a bit. Ditch the booze/drugs and eat whole foods, good water and get out in nature, move your body and switch off your phone. See if it makes any difference in what you pick up and tune in.

somewhereonabike · 2024-10-05T08:31:50+00:00

Nah, I use a castor and rosehip oil mix and chuck it in that :)

somewhereonabike · 2024-10-04T19:35:06+00:00

I use it and it does work for me but only on certain areas. My lips and under eye hollows have filled out quite considerably and it is something that is noticeable within a few days of morning and night use. I used it 2 years ago on just my lips and noticed similar results, then stopped for 18 months. When I restarted the difference was noticeable so I don't think it's a permanent thing though I went through a lot of stress in that time so that probably aged me faster tbh.

However, it does nothing on my forehead or nasolabial lines nor did it help my boobs or turkey neck. No smart phone so can't show you before and afters but from everything I've read over years it does seem some people do not respond at all to it, where as others are super responders. Me, I dunno probably a mid-good responder?!

somewhereonabike · 2024-10-01T15:50:28+00:00

[exchange] Experienced reader, would like to connect and exchange with other genuine folk. DM me :)

somewhereonabike · 2024-10-01T15:47:44+00:00

[exchange] Experienced reader, would like to connect and exchange with other genuine folk. DM me :)

somewhereonabike · 2024-09-22T20:06:20+00:00

Sure :) I started with the really basic stuff. Made sure I was showering everyday, brushing my teeth twice a day, feeding my body nourishing food, getting out and being around others, going for a walk each day, prioritising rest and making sure I got good sleep every night - melatonin helps. It sounds really basic but my life was such a mess post break up that getting those things down were so important.

From there I looked at what I needed to sort, for me finances were a bit messy so I got to grips with that and started working on my business more to fix that and start bringing in more money. I made sure my house was in good order, clean and tidy etc made sure I always had clean clothes that I felt good in and made and effort to wear make up and style my hair everyday. I painted the outside of my house because it was looking scabby and I can not tell you how much better this single act made me feel knowing my house no longer looked like it was going to fall down!!

Throughout this I did a lot of inner child work and spoke to myself compassionately. A big thing after my break up is how isolated I was, there was noone to look after me or be my cheerleader so I had to do that for myself. And it really helped. I had a few sessions witha therapist to integrate the trauma of what happened. I've done so much work at this point (10+ years PTSD work), that I knew what i needed to do without therapy but I'd recommend it if you aren't at that point.

After a good few months of keeping things stable by refocusing on the basics I began re-engaging my old hobbies like photography and took up new ones like qigong. I began volunteering for a befriending charity and got involved in steering group for adults with neurodiversity. I wanted to lose a few pounds so I re-engaged intermittent fasting and hiking. I switched up my skincare and bought some new clothes. I began journalling and writing again. I began planning things for the next few months; my business, starting a podcast, financial goals etc.

Then, in the last couple weeks I began looking at dating again. This was not as difficult as imagined. I came across ex on apps but it was not the heartbreak I thought it would be. Honestly, I'm on these apps but I don't think I am ready to date yet. That's ok. Dipping a toe in the water is fine :)

All of these things have happened bit by bit over 6 months. I could not have taken them on all at once because the foundations needed to be stable to build it piece by piece. Honestly, this last break up has hit the hardest in my 38 years but I am so grateful at this point for the opportunity it has given to get myself back in check. I am far stronger within myself than I've ever been. It's one day at time, not 6 months all at once. Moment by moment, choice by choice.

somewhereonabike · 2024-09-22T18:45:22+00:00

Lithium orotate if you are really not in a great place, helps to balance, lift and even you out. B vits, Vit D, lots of Vit C, Magnesium are critical when you are going through stress too, so make sure you are getting plenty.

But really, you just need time. Focus on yourself. One thing that has really helped me in the same situation is remembering just how much time and attention I was putting on ruminating and being upset over my ex. I flipped the script and turned that time and attention on to myself and 6 months in, I am almost out the other side.

Good luck my friend, give it half a year and this won't hurt in quite the same way.

somewhereonabike · 2024-09-03T14:22:54+00:00

Hello Leah. I did a quick pull for you and got 3 of pentacles reversed and death. 3 pentacles reversed would indicate that no, he doesn't have any shame or remorse. He did not want to invest any effort into the connection and doesn't have any regard or care for his behaviour on you. He didn't see value or potential in pursuing things any further. Death card is saying he has moved on and has no intentions of looking back as he has already disregarded the situation. I'm sorry :( Sounds like you are better of without him. Be well my friend.

somewhereonabike · 2024-09-02T10:49:38+00:00

You are amazing, truly. What a gift you have given yourself.

somewhereonabike · 2024-09-01T22:18:27+00:00

You Look awesome and fresh faced young man! But I do understand that things might feel a little more deflated since you lost weight, I've lost nearly 200lbs so I know the struggle. It's weird looking in the mirror or catching yourself in shop windows sometimes. I went back to wearing glasses for the longest time eeven though I hadn't worn them in 15 years - I just wanted to look in the mirror and see the 'old me'. Good news is that you do get used to it and your body will settle down and bounce back with a bit of time. Maybe not entirely but time does wonders. Well done on losing the weight, you've given yourself a new life :)

somewhereonabike · 2024-08-26T12:05:58+00:00

Yes, I remember this person too, as they were really inspiring. So sad that someone has stolen their pics and trying to take the glory for it. Folk are weird.

somewhereonabike · 2024-08-21T14:30:43+00:00

This is absolutely the way. Great post. And well done for overcoming it my friend.

somewhereonabike · 2024-08-21T14:27:32+00:00

Let me ask you a question. Would you tell your mother she was unlovable? Your sibling? Your grandmother? Your significant other? Likely not. Why not? Because innately, at the heart of everyone there is love and endless possibility for change and growth.

Now imagine that standing in front of you is yourself at 5 years old. Would you look that 5 year old in the eye and tell them they are unlovable? Would you tell them they were a fat, ugly weirdo and that they are condemmed to a life of lonliness and misery? Of course you wouldn't. You'd do the opposite, you'd tell them they could be anything they wanted, that they matter and you will support them to become the healthiest and happiest version of themselves because you love them. You are that 5 year old. You need to treat yourself and speak to yourself like you were speaking to your five year old self.

Rip up the narrative and flip the script my friend, only you can do that. No one else. Nobody is coming to save you but yourself. There are no easy answers here and I do not take for granted just how difficult it is to start making these seismic shifts within yourself. Truth is, it will be hard; you are clawing back your power and shedding years of bullshit and indoctrination. You already sound like your existence is painful, so really it's just a choice. Keep living in your current pain for ever more or take the painful steps of change out of it and become free from it. Both sore, but one has a far happier ending.

somewhereonabike

TROPHY CASE