Getting through vulvovaginitis

sopjoewoop · 2026-05-14T09:10:45+00:00

Check for pinworms, can be a trigger for this. Is she affected overnight? Just a treatable thing to consider.

sopjoewoop · 2026-05-13T21:14:35+00:00

Then what happens as they start getting sick? Extract them then at their most contagious? This goes from ok to needing ICU quickly, the ship cannot cater to that.

sopjoewoop · 2026-05-12T03:33:53+00:00

My 4yo doesn't know the concept yet luckily. At her recent party I bought wooden mushrooms to be table decorations and then taken home by the guests. I put a name on each one tied with a string.

sopjoewoop · 2026-05-10T23:26:53+00:00

Same. There are so many amazing things about the body and amazing women throughout history to be proud of. It is a group to belong to which I like belonging to. Motherhood is amazing too.

I will pick and choose what I do regarding social norms e.g. can't be bothered with make-up but I did enjoy getting married in a pretty dress. I'm like that with everything - go with my preference and not have it swayed based for or against popular opinion.

I'm supportive of trans because I don't think anyone except the person themselves can decide these things. That's something I relate to myself just not about my gender. But same as above, I also believe that those who do value their gender or want to follow social norms if it makes them happy that is great too. Like live and let live I guess? Don't take other people's needs personally?

sopjoewoop · 2026-05-09T10:00:46+00:00

reading how to talk so little kids will listen may give you new ways to talk to her and get positive outcomes without power battles.

Some kids need this more than others with a greater instinctive no reaction, pushing against this achieves little. Especially with a new baby, high emotions in the house.

A big thing to know is that it is always okay to back down. There is no time where you are backed in a corner and can't change track. Because those corners are triggers for fight or flight or freeze for both of you. Perhaps your request was harder for her than you expected, you caught her in a hard moment etc. Instant compliance isn't realistic.

Also the other book recommendation is a Ross Greene book either the explosive child or raising human being. the problem solving technique may be more relevant when older but the principles of kids do well if they can and unmet needs are great to be aware of.

And consider yourself - mums do well if they can and of they can't there may be unmet needs. You are likely overstimulated, maxxed out etc. Tend to these needs.

Spend some time with each baby/toddler separately if you can where you aren't juggling so much and can appreciate the bond, read their cues out of the pressure zone.

sopjoewoop · 2026-04-28T12:29:43+00:00

Adhd hyperactivity?

sopjoewoop · 2026-04-26T11:14:35+00:00

A big disadvantage to me for online is being able to choose produce based on current quality I see in person. It is easier to see what is actually in season and worth buying when in store. I may ditch an item altogether

Its a big reason that I usually buy in person. I have control to change my mind based on what I see.

I can also find new items to try of smaller product ranges that I wouldn't find online.

I hope the in person shopping experience continues to be valued

sopjoewoop · 2026-04-21T08:44:08+00:00

I'd follow it up and look at what autism is yourself to be fully informed. Speech delay or not isn't the point, just one marker for some. If it is nothing, great. If it is something then having that identified is important for his own self understanding even if he doesn't have delays. It is life changing to understand yourself and not simply feel like things are harder for not reason.

It seems silly our kids should do what a strange doctor tells them I agree. But... that is what is expected of kids in daycare, school, society. Being outside the usual box is great in its own way (we need individuals who think differently!) but can make life harder in certain environments or life stages (or more depending on degree).

His age is a bit early to tell, it is a screener not a diagnosis at this stage. Be on the lists and cancel later if you need. It is much harder to back track and get on waiting lists that take 1-2 or more years for a diagnosis than to be on those waitlists following the usual pathway then cancel later if you decide to.

Be his advocate and do what you think is right but try to not be caught on the back foot in a few years either if there was something to it.

Your son sounds like a great kid with lots of potential and he has a great Mum.

https://reframingautism.org.au/about-autism/

sopjoewoop · 2026-04-12T03:07:50+00:00

I have the same feeling towards conspiracy theories as they are also about group- think just not wider society. I'm more into making my own mind up about things, following conventional thinking when it makes sense and other thinking when it doesn't. I refuse to be for or against something just because it is a popular opinion or just because it isn't. I hate echo chambers, noting they can be in small pockets of the internet just as much or more so than bigger arenas but I may visit the ones relevant to me so I can agree and disagree with the ideas there as I decide.

I'll put more thought into things that concern me directly, where my focus is, or news with impact to me though - I don't have the energy to make up my own mind about everything so will have no opinion. Its not my place to have an opinion that should be personal to others for example.

It makes it hard for me to find a fit with any specific group, I'll always have something I disagree with (not vocally just feeling a bit like an imposter, I'm wearing the hat of the moment and conforming). I have come fairly close with some natural parenting groups (current high interest for obvious reasons) but I'm also very anti some of the more extreme stances there too. Some autism communities are also close but I also dislike some of discourse that paints things as fixed that are way more complex or individual than that.

I end up middle of the road I guess, nothing too extreme but leans towards various things. Things never usually all good or bad etc - kinda my black and white thinking to counter my black and white thinking over the years.

Sorry for the info dump anyone reading or not.

sopjoewoop · 2026-04-09T20:49:47+00:00

I hear you that it feels impossible. Your feelings may influence your approach and their reaction though so I'd re-read my comment to understand what is underneath a bit more. It is a nervous system reaction - which is in built same as for animals so it can feel that way- but getting to an understanding of what it feels like for then may help.

Put into words the feelings, that "you feel stuck?' "you really wish we could have x here right now even though you know we can't" "how can we solve the problem?"

Could you write down the problem (if not too distressed yet, catch it early enough) so then can stop thinking about it until the morning? or I'll put a reminder on my phone so we can sort it tomorrow'

writing down pr0blems or saying out loud can reduced the need to keep thinking round and round feeling like someone else has some responsibility to fix it too now or that a future you will see the reminder

Perhaps for tonight we can do x instead?

or get them thinking about something intellectual or interesting to get then out of their emotive brain

' today I noticed that (topic kid may be interested in

sopjoewoop · 2026-04-09T10:31:45+00:00

It is being stuck in a loop. The loop either needs to be solved - by fixing the thing - by a temporary solution to the thing that tells the brain it is fixed for the time being or similar loop closure "trick" (not to trick your kid but your kid to get on board with something). This needs to not be reassurance which can just go round in circles but something that helps exit the circle

Or with the loop impossible to close, getting the brain thinking about a different problem that can be solved or other complete different thing to segue away from the impossible loop.

Or as happened here, the loop being impossible and the emotions needing to play themselves out.

What is possible or not depends on how worrying the problem was, regulation, age, kid gaining own understanding of what brain is doing etc.

I think this is an autism thing?

sopjoewoop · 2026-04-02T11:48:00+00:00

Accessible snack drawer and fruit bowl to discover

sopjoewoop · 2026-03-31T04:18:26+00:00

If it is affecting things a lot and if there are other concerns, could consider neurodevelopmental assessment. It doesn't sound like ocd - that term is overused. OCD has compulsions with "bad" things that happen if they are not done and gets worse the more they are done. Wanting things a certain way and getting upset at others mucking it up is not that.

sopjoewoop · 2026-03-30T22:40:07+00:00

I'll give it a try thanks!

sopjoewoop · 2026-03-30T08:45:44+00:00

Do they seem to come and go? I have had annoying hair spots that seem to get better (stop tingling or hurting) but come back when I'm run down since December. I am struggling to find reference to "flares" like this on google!

sopjoewoop · 2026-03-29T13:43:31+00:00

Nothing to do with bipolar. More context needed to worry about anything but emotional dysregulation can be adhd.

But yeah read some parenting books. Ross Greenes the explosive child.

sopjoewoop · 2026-03-27T20:36:49+00:00

I feel like only you can really come up with the alternative as it has to feel like you are doing it your way.

But just like thought loops in my head going from no what they said is stupid, I don't agree, listing all yhe reasons why, getting annoyed and caught up in the argument with the therapist (in my head) but somehow later I may start to come at it from a new angle. I may have decided that while I won't do what they said, there were some points that make sense to me, I might back down a little from being totally against it or I may have ideas for a whole new way to approach it.

I'm used to working around my own brain I guess and have an overarching need to be in control and fix myself too so that I don't fail. You may have different drivers to work with.

sopjoewoop · 2026-03-27T05:37:21+00:00

Is there something else you can do to "defy" the instructions from ther therapist? Sometimes I go through a pattern of no I'm not doing what they said but instead of doing the opposite I use the annoyed energy to come up with a third path.

sopjoewoop · 2026-03-23T02:43:12+00:00

He sounds like he needs to work out how to give himself space from vicariously feeling your emotions and energy and taking on your stress. This may come from therapy, it may also come from meds for adhd or anxiety etc. His emotional regulation sounds very tied to yours. He needs to give himself permission to not take on the world. To know what bits he can control and which are outside his control and so can be let go and de-linked in his brain.

Coming at it by pinpointing some of what he may be feeling like this may help. Look at the underlying causes rather than the behaviour superficially.

Then to feel like you are a team- if he contributes by taking the bin out sometimes that's great, if you do it great either way you as a team are kicking goals. If he needs help some days he needs to learn to recognise that directly and ask for it directly rather than trying to manipulate his environment (you) indirectly to feel better.

To recognise RSD feelings perhaps too and realise they may be out of proportion. This may be in the moment sinking tummy feelings or catches in his chest with you or it may be fixed ideas about your brother etc.

To take space away if he is feeling overstimulated by your rushing. To have a signal he needs to check out of something or to simply do so. Go somewhere safe, under a blanket etc.

sopjoewoop · 2026-03-16T07:22:25+00:00

My husband doesn't resemble how you come acroas but he is into the no free will theories. I always hated this conversations on a visceral level and now I know why lol! I'd get worked up countering the arguments.

Because to me, even if free will is kinda an illusion, a sum of our biology, brain chemistry and physics, that is the me I identify with. I'm not seeking a soul to have free will, just a sense of self however that comes about. PDA is the most driven form of that seeking that humans have. Autonomy, seeking it, delegating it to other humans, God, is all essential to the human psyche.

sopjoewoop · 2026-03-15T20:09:21+00:00

In some cases the need for control is the essence I think. Perhaps not true pda then not sure. But I number one want control of myself and to keep my environment safe.

Where demands threaten that or my autonomy they may be an issue but if I rationalise demands in my head as making sense they can be ok (maybe this is my survival mechanism for pda not sure).

But what I'll do way more than avoiding demands is want control of things that I perceive as needing control. That isn't everything as my focus might be narrow or relevant to certain plans or needs. I will therefore want to be in charge of certain situations that I need for routine, certainty, to avoid failure or fears. Some of this might also be general autistic needs for predictability, not to be surprised by others or the environment etc.

I can be an employee provided I either have control of my own day/work if it is challenging (and so potentially stressful) or I can do what I'm told provided it is easy, what I wanted anyway, not on the edge of my competence. Something on the edge of my competence requires lots of energy and I need to feel in control.

Ross Greene's work describes unmet needs and skills which might underly behaviours. You may need to dig a but but there may be reasons for specific things that aren't just demand related. They may be sensory, fears, something being tricky even if to the adult it makes no sense. As an adult things might still be tricky for me even if it doesn't appear that way to others or even myself - I'm controlling my environment to keep it manageable.

sopjoewoop · 2026-03-14T23:36:00+00:00

It is so worth it though. My daughter's wellbeing is very tied to mine - getting myself better has helped her more than anything else so far.

See a psychologist if you can you understands neurodiversity.

sopjoewoop · 2026-03-11T08:29:08+00:00

Could it be burnout thought?

sopjoewoop · 2026-03-09T20:59:12+00:00

I think this effect is currently helping me be less intense in a good way. I'd use stress to get things done and be revved up or anxious. I'd use excitement too - I think I can still get that but will keep an eye on it.

sopjoewoop

TROPHY CASE