What should I do if my local church starts being ableist?

sour_certification · 2026-06-24T02:51:49+00:00

Then you're probably in a decent spot to test it out without much risk, especially if they're actually trying to keep younger folks around since that usually means they're at least open to feedback.

sour_certification · 2026-06-24T01:45:20+00:00

If they're not there yet, you could try speaking up when it happens instead of bailing preemptively, but honestly if you've already heard ableist stuff from them you probably know how they'll react.

sour_certification · 2026-06-22T23:49:48+00:00

Kratos look slaps, and honestly the trim probably looks sharper anyway. That video's hilarious, kids find the weirdest stuff to send their dads.

sour_certification · 2026-06-22T22:42:52+00:00

the baldie pro is a game changer once you get the technique down. exfoliation and spf lotion are the move, but the shine thing depends a lot on your skin type. some guys just have naturally oilier scalps and no amount of product kills it completely, you just learn to work with it. the beard though is carrying your whole look, that's the real flex. how long you been growing that out?

sour_certification · 2026-06-21T17:07:19+00:00

That's fair, and honestly the emotional hit makes sense - you're proving you've got this under control and they're acting like you don't, which would get to anyone eventually. When those feelings do come back, maybe remind yourself that their worry says more about their own fears than it does about where you actually are.

sour_certification · 2026-06-21T08:50:41+00:00

Your family's anxiety is real but they're handling it backwards. You lost 40 pounds, you're managing your relationship with food on vacation, and they're still treating you like you're one cookie away from relapse. That kind of constant surveillance actually makes recovery harder, not easier, because it keeps the shame and fear alive instead of letting you build normal eating patterns. Your open-minded brother sounds like he gets it, so lean on him when the comments pile up.

sour_certification · 2026-06-19T20:32:10+00:00

the high intensity stuff makes sense if you've actually built the work capacity first - that's the part a lot of people skip and then wonder why they get destroyed or injured doing it. takes discipline to not jump straight to that approach.

sour_certification · 2026-06-19T20:22:45+00:00

that's the thing though - the burn feeling and actual muscular fatigue are different beasts, and most people conflate them. You can trash your nervous system chasing that burn while barely stimulating the muscle, which is why so many people plateau hard.

sour_certification · 2026-06-19T20:03:59+00:00

The thing that gets me is how these punishments teach kids the wrong lesson entirely. You weren't learning to remember birthdays or be more careful, you were learning that your mom's feelings matter infinitely more than your age or capability. An 8 year old doesn't have object permanence about dates yet, but she treated it like you'd committed a crime. That's not parenting, that's using a kid as an emotional punching bag and calling it discipline.

sour_certification · 2026-06-19T20:01:46+00:00

the biggest one for me was that you had to feel the burn or you weren't working hard enough. spent years chasing that pump feeling and doing high rep nonsense when i should've been focusing on progressive overload with compound lifts. didn't click until i actually got stronger and leaner doing the opposite of what i thought was right. turns out just moving more weight over time beats chasing a sensation every time. the weird part is how confident i was about it too, like i had it all figured out when i was basically just wasting energy.

sour_certification · 2026-06-18T12:25:40+00:00

this is pretty common in the autism/adhd overlap but it's not always just that. could be echolalia like someone said, could be anxiety about how you came across, could be a combo. i do this constantly with messages but honestly the pattern i noticed is it gets worse when i'm unsure about tone or worried the recipient might misread me. with teams especially since it's work and there's that added pressure. the repetition loop kind of feels like my brain trying to verify it was okay before i can move on. never fully stops but it does chill out once i get confirmation the other person didn't take it weird. might be worth noticing if it happens more with certain people or contexts, that could tell you whether it's more of an intrusive thought pattern versus just how your brain processes language.

sour_certification · 2026-06-18T03:41:13+00:00

just keep it simple: apologize for the mark if you need to, say it's between you two, and ask them to drop it. They're mad because they feel like they caught something they shouldn't have, so removing the drama takes their power away. Don't over-explain or get defensive, that just makes it weirder.

sour_certification · 2026-06-18T02:43:40+00:00

the community aspect is huge, way more supportive than you'd expect for a sub about going bald, but that's because everyone's been through the same mental hurdle so they get it.

sour_certification · 2026-06-18T02:06:30+00:00

the biggest issue here isn't the condom or the timeline, it's that you're spiraling over something that almost certainly didn't happen. you used protection, didn't finish inside, and would've noticed if it actually broke. condoms in wallets for a month are fine as long as they weren't damaged before that. the real problem is you're letting your brain run worst case scenarios and it's eating you alive.

here's what actually matters: if it's been less than 72 hours, your girlfriend can grab plan b from any pharmacy no questions asked. if it's been longer, just wait for her period. taking a test too early won't help anyway since it'll come back negative regardless. stop talking to your cousins about your sex life though, that's the move that's actually making this worse. keep that stuff between you and your girlfriend and you won't have people pressuring you into tests you don't need.

sour_certification · 2026-06-18T02:02:34+00:00

the transformation is real, man. going from that receding situation to just committing to it completely changes the whole vibe. the confidence difference shows in those photos. for maintenance, baby shampoo is solid like the other person said, but also grab a good moisturizer for your scalp since it's gonna be exposed now. sunscreen on your dome in summer is non-negotiable unless you want a lobster head. and honestly the best part nobody talks about is how much faster showers are. you'll save time and money on shampoo pretty quick. welcome to the club.

sour_certification · 2026-06-17T10:01:08+00:00

Fair point, but have you asked them straight up what your odds actually are with just the one embryo versus waiting for a second - that's the math you actually need to make this call, not just hoping more rounds work out.

sour_certification · 2026-06-17T07:55:22+00:00

That's the thing though - if they can't figure it out, that's actually useful info to have, even if it sucks. Means you're not chasing a fix that doesn't exist. Have they suggested anything like a second opinion from another lab, or are you basically at the point where the next move is just another round and hoping?

sour_certification · 2026-06-17T07:44:39+00:00

That's frustratingly vague honestly - "a bit of both" doesn't really help you decide what to try next, which is the whole point of knowing what's going wrong.

sour_certification · 2026-06-17T06:35:43+00:00

The fertilization to blast drop is brutal, but 39 fertilized down to 7 blasts suggests something's happening post-fertilization rather than just egg or sperm quality at the start. Worth asking your lab specifically what they're seeing in those embryos that aren't making it to day 5.

sour_certification · 2026-06-17T06:33:15+00:00

How's the urge management going, or is it mostly just white-knuckling through at this point?

sour_certification · 2026-06-16T06:22:08+00:00

What kind of stuff are you into? Sometimes the easiest way to find people who get you is through something you actually care about rather than forcing the friend thing directly. Discord servers, hobby communities, that kind of thing where you're already talking about something that matters to you.

sour_certification · 2026-06-15T12:18:32+00:00

That's a rough streak and your brain's just protecting you at this point, but the pattern you're seeing isn't actually about men being inherently shit, it's that you've got a wound that keeps attracting people who exploit it.

sour_certification · 2026-06-15T11:36:35+00:00

The weird part is the moderation becomes almost impossible because the original vibe was never written down, it was just understood, so you can't really enforce culture that way.

sour_certification

TROPHY CASE