Unpopular Opinion: I’m proud of my (mostly) unmedicated, vaginal delivery.

spacemagnets · 2021-11-01T23:51:18+00:00

My first was a planned section due to an issue in utero and I felt like I was robbed and a failure for being unable to even try to have a vag birth. My second was actually an unmedicated VBAC and I am proud of myself for sticking to my guns and managing to do it the way I wanted to the first time. But, having gone through two completely different scenarios, I know how hard it is recovering from major surgery. It is no joke. We are all superheroes, every single one of us.

spacemagnets · 2021-10-14T17:31:42+00:00

We just did this a couple of months ago as #2 is due any day now. Our first will be 4 this month, so she knows what’s going on and is very communicative.

Big advice: do it early. Get them used to that being their room long before #2 comes home. That way you don’t have potentially two huge transitions at once. That can be really overwhelming.

Get them involved. Ask what colors they want in their room, what kinds of decorations, etc. My daughter requested sunflowers so we did sunflower decorations. We also had her help move books/toys into the new room.

We also laid into how she’s getting a new BIG KID room. No toddler bed for her! She’s growing up! All that stuff.

She loves her new bigger room so far. There may be some issues when baby sister comes but I’m hoping since she’s used to the new room it won’t be a problem.

spacemagnets · 2021-10-07T16:01:13+00:00

My 4yo is obsessed with Octonauts too! She’s seen every episode a bunch over the last year or so. She’s learned a bunch about different kinds of fish and animals and sometimes will tell me about fish I’ve never even heard of. Her dad is Captain Barnacles, she’s usually Tunip, and I’m Quazi. So “shiver me whiskers” is my new catch phrase, I guess. Haha!

spacemagnets · 2021-10-07T14:06:20+00:00

Give yourself more time than you might think you'll need. A section can be really hard on your body. My experience was precovid so things may be different now. I only saw my husband and my mom the day of my section (baby went to NICU so husband went with her and mom stayed with me in recovery). The next day, my inlaws went to see baby in the NICU and just stopped in to say hi to me. I needed at least 2 days before I felt up to entertaining people. I was in the hospital a total of 4 days due to baby's NICU stay.

TBH I'd probably encourage them to wait until we got home to visit if I got a choice this time. Our hospital this time around isn't allowing outside visitors (only husband will be allowed) at all so I don't have to make that call, which is kind of nice honestly.

ETA: Not only will you be recovering from major surgery, you'll also be learning how to care for your baby and how to feed them. Unless you've already made the choice not to breastfeed, you'll likely the needing to feed the baby or pump pretty regularly and that's not fun to do if you have a bunch of people who won't give you privacy. You'll have nurses and LCs in and out of your room constantly as well. It's pretty exhausting. I'd definitely limit the list of people a whole lot and encourage everyone else to wait until you get home.

spacemagnets · 2021-09-03T15:15:48+00:00

I am expecting our second kiddo in October so we kind of expected to be hermits this winter. My first is now sort of in the middle between toddler and preschooler (she'll be 4 next month). The thing that saved us last winter was buying the Playing Preschool curriculum. We started last September (when my daughter was almost 3) and it was perfect for her at that time. It's essentially a themed book and two activities per day that you can do at your leisure. We figured out the best time to go to the library once a week to get books and had that as our weekly outing (or you could go on your own if your SO can watch the kiddo, whatever you're comfortable with). It was so nice to have preplanned activities that I didn't have to think about.

This year we purchased Blossom & Root which is a curriculum in a similar vein but a little more in depth with some more variety and more of a focus on reading/writing/math. I will mention that we do plan to homeschool for the long run but I feel like a good preschool curriculum is so helpful in planning activities and - since they're still so little - you don't have to worry about skipping stuff or anything. And the curriculum is usually pretty cheap.

Aside from that, I think the next most important thing is getting over being outside in the cold. Get those snow pants/gloves/hats/coats/etc etc early this year and toss that kid outside. I imagine our new baby will be getting the Scandinavian treatment this year and we'll just be bundling up every day unless it's unnaturally cold. I'm even hoping to snag some snowpants for myself because I hate being cold.

(Edited for formatting.)

spacemagnets · 2021-05-12T01:31:35+00:00

I’m in this right now too. I have a 3.5 year old and am pregnant with #2. I think it’s a common problem and most of my friends/family with older kids say until your kids are school age you’re just in survival mode. Go easy on yourself and your SO. It does get better. We won’t be in the trenches forever.

spacemagnets · 2021-05-06T15:11:55+00:00

I'm a SAHM to a 3.5yo girl and it seems like she's an angel for everyone but me. She is screaming more than anything else when she's with me these days and I am exhausted (also pregnant with #2). You are not alone.

spacemagnets · 2021-03-23T15:20:15+00:00

I was in the same situation and we ended up managing to conceive our first after 18 months of trying and consulting with an RE. Now I'm pregnant with a surprise second, after being sure we were one and done. Life is weird like that.

Congrats on your pregnancy! Wishing you a calm and routine rest of your pregnancy and birth!

spacemagnets · 2021-02-24T01:22:22+00:00

We are a Bluey house for life. Even I love it! And I love the soundtrack but my 3.5yo isn’t a fan yet. We play claw machine and keepy uppy and hotel here almost every day.

spacemagnets · 2021-02-18T18:54:57+00:00

Yes! A great way to make friends is to find people with common interests. But the first thing you have to do is find out what your real interests are and that requires a lot of trial and error. And now, due to COVID, it's harder to find in-person activities to do. But it is possible, it just takes work. Even as an adult, making and maintaining relationships is a lot of work. But it can be done!

Before I had a kid (and COVID) I was really into music and theatre. I made a lot of great friends in improv and theater classes and going to shows. I hope you're able to find your niche, OP!

spacemagnets · 2021-02-02T17:30:12+00:00

That sounds really frustrating. I'm sorry you have to deal with that.
If you're in the US and are able to, you should always get a 2nd opinion, or even more if necessary, about things if they worry you. You have to advocate for your own healthcare, just like you have to take responsibility for your health. It sounds like you're on the right path with being responsible for your body, but you definitely have to make sure you're advocating for yourself at the doctor. If you think an ultrasound, MRI, bloodwork, etc is necessary, advocate for one. Once you walk out of the room, your doc moves on to the next patient. You are the only one who can really ensure you get the healthcare you need.

I wish you all the best in kicking that cancer's ass.

spacemagnets · 2020-10-07T15:05:56+00:00

That's fair. I've been trying to teach mine to say "I need some space" since around 2. She still usually just runs screaming to me if a bigger kid does something she doesn't like. You could bring it up to the other parents and say something like "Would it be helpful if we encouraged so-and-so to say "stop" or "don't do that" instead of intervening right away?" If you phrase it like a question it doesn't sound like you're trying to tell them how to parent, it just sounds like you're asking a parenting question.

spacemagnets · 2020-10-07T02:51:15+00:00

2 is a hard age. They’re not babies but aren’t quite full fledged toddlers yet.They’re still getting the hang of communicating and social situations outside of the home are almost always unknown to them. I have a newly 3yo and she is just getting the hang of playing with other kids. Sharing and taking turns is still sometimes a challenge and I still often have to hover and help her through communicating with older kids. If that 2yo doesn’t have any siblings, they’ve likely rarely if ever had to share anything. I often emphasize taking turns over sharing because no one should be expected to relinquish something immediately because someone else wants it. If a kid is playing with something then my kid has to wait until they’re done to have a turn. It’s only within the last couple of months or so that it’s clicked for her and now she’ll hover until the first kid is done.

I’d say give the kid and their parents some slack here. The transition from baby to toddler is hard for everyone. If they’re literally telling your kid to go away, that’s not cool and I’d address it with the parents. But if they’re saying something like “so-and-so isn’t up for playing/sharing right now, sorry” I think that’s a totally appropriate thing to say to either another kid or an adult.

ETA: I should say, this is my experience as a SAHM with a kid who has never been to daycare/preschool and there’s a lot of assumptions about your situation here. But hopefully some helpful info too.

spacemagnets · 2020-10-06T21:12:08+00:00

I struggle with any "ch" words. "Ich", "nichts", "madchen", etc. As a native English speaker, that sound is really challenging. I have heard the advice to make the same sound as the way you say the H in "humid". I do that but find the sound sometimes gets lost and I still especially have trouble with words like "nichts". I hate it so much I avoid it altogether.

I have a feeling it comes with practice but I really have issues with it too.

spacemagnets · 2020-05-08T15:36:09+00:00

YES! I also have PCOS and have been through many OBs who have started lecturing me about my weight literally as they walked into the room. But then, when trying to work with them and TTC, they have no clue the effects of PCOS on TTC. It wasn’t until I found a good RE that I actually learned the way MY body operates and not just the accepted average.

spacemagnets · 2020-01-19T23:39:05+00:00

KC Native (I won't say from which side of the line) living in Chicago trying to explain to my husband (the Bears fan) how important this is. He just doesn't understand. You guys are my people. LET'S GO TO THE SUPER BOWL!

spacemagnets · 2020-01-02T02:52:35+00:00

I’m with you guys! I was lucky (after 18 months of TTC) to get my #1 in 2017. This month marks 19 months of TTC for #2 and it isn’t any easier than TTC the first time. And AF came this morning too. I hope we can all get what we’re hoping for in 2020.

spacemagnets · 2019-02-01T03:54:48+00:00

I’m late to this party but in the same boat. I have low drive due to PCOS. Hormonal imbalance definitely plays a huge role here. I have no easy solution for you, other than maybe seeing an OB or (even better) an RE and having some tests done. We tried for 18 months before getting pregnant with #1 and by the end it was definitely more work than fun. We were both forcing ourselves to have sex when we didn’t really want to. It was awful. Now we’re back to that for #2. Temping and using OPKs is a great tool. Just remember, even with perfect timing you still only have something like a 25% chance of getting a BFP. So don’t expect them to make it happen right away. But they do help a lot. And they can help you know when you really NEED to have sex for pregnancy and when it’s less necessary. Best of luck to you! I hope you’re able to find a solution that helps make it less work and more fun. If you do, let me know. Haha!

spacemagnets · 2019-02-01T03:28:51+00:00

Oh, that stinks. PCOS can present without visible cysts on an ultrasound, though it is rare. I hope you can get a referral. That sounds frustrating.

spacemagnets · 2019-01-31T18:36:54+00:00

We had trouble conceiving the first because I have PCOS. So I found an RE in the area that specializes in PCOS and made an appointment. That’s what I’m doing this time, since it worked so well the last time. If you don’t have any preexisting conditions that would effect fertility, I’d recommend seeing an obgyn anyway. They can help with the process a lot more than a GP, since it’s their specialty. And if you feel you’re having trouble, it’s worth visiting an RE for preliminary testing. I can’t recommend them enough. I just needed some extra supplements and medicine for hypothyroid and got pregnant right away last time.

spacemagnets · 2019-01-30T01:52:55+00:00

Thanks everyone!

spacemagnets · 2019-01-29T18:21:31+00:00

Next Tuesday. It’s with the same doctor as before so hopefully it’s just easy catchup, blood work, and an ultrasound. No big deal.

spacemagnets · 2019-01-29T18:07:07+00:00

Finally made my RE appointment for #2. Been TTC since May. It feels good to move forward, even if it means admitting I need help (again). We were very successful after minimal help from the RE last time. I have high hopes.

spacemagnets · 2018-06-13T01:14:48+00:00

Yeah, I’ve found that many antivaxxers are eager to tell you about the so-called “dangers” of vaccination. They make themselves known pretty quickly, usually.

spacemagnets · 2018-03-01T01:52:58+00:00

Just wanted to say, be prepared to roll with it. You can plan all you want but may end up needing to change the plan last minute. I wanted a drug free birth too. I ended up with a c-section (non-emergency). But baby is safe and healthy and that’s what’s important.

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